Clearly someone was eating it, but doing so was a hidden pleasure.
December 26, 2014 9:12 AM Subscribe
Finally! After all these years of booty-eating dark ages, the great booty-eating artists are rediscovering the booty-eating masterpieces of the booty-eating ancient world.
posted by PlusDistance at 9:21 AM on December 26, 2014 [24 favorites]
posted by PlusDistance at 9:21 AM on December 26, 2014 [24 favorites]
[sexual act] ... it's not just for [sexual proclivity] anymore!
New! Improved! Buttslol!
posted by Going To Maine at 9:23 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
New! Improved! Buttslol!
posted by Going To Maine at 9:23 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Anything that feels good, people have been doing for millennia, but usually without admitting to it in public.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:28 AM on December 26, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by Dip Flash at 9:28 AM on December 26, 2014 [10 favorites]
plate of booty, y'all
posted by The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas at 9:33 AM on December 26, 2014
posted by The Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas at 9:33 AM on December 26, 2014
plate of booty, y'all
Ahem. Altar of booty.
posted by a halcyon day at 9:37 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Ahem. Altar of booty.
posted by a halcyon day at 9:37 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Is it odd that I thought this was going to be another blog of illuminated manuscript marginalia, or maybe details from a Bosch or something?
posted by Hal Mumkin at 9:39 AM on December 26, 2014 [28 favorites]
posted by Hal Mumkin at 9:39 AM on December 26, 2014 [28 favorites]
All those years honing my web browsing discipline like a shaolin master but the instant anilingus is mentioned my browser history is dirtier than - well you know what.
I NEED A 12-STEP PROGRAM AND A NEW MANTRA PEOPLE
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:41 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I NEED A 12-STEP PROGRAM AND A NEW MANTRA PEOPLE
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:41 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's clearly fueling the Detroit Lions' run to the NFL playoffs!
posted by wikipedia brown boy detective at 9:42 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by wikipedia brown boy detective at 9:42 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Hang on... there's a real porn star named "Brian Pumper"? Years ago, I started keeping a text file of amusing randomly generated names found on email spam, and one of those that went into it was Brian Pumper; it ended up there for the reason of being amusing-because-it-sounds-like-a-contrived-porn-star-name. Others in that category on the list are "Yong Vargas", "Nuo Butt" and "Denver DeLong"; don't tell me those are all established porn stars as well?
posted by acb at 9:48 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by acb at 9:48 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Any porn name that sounds utterly implausible has already been used at least once.
posted by blucevalo at 9:50 AM on December 26, 2014
posted by blucevalo at 9:50 AM on December 26, 2014
Anilingus
Licking people named Anil is surely a niche kink, though.
posted by yoink at 9:53 AM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
Licking people named Anil is surely a niche kink, though.
posted by yoink at 9:53 AM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
Though I suppose it might be big in the subcontinent.
posted by yoink at 9:54 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by yoink at 9:54 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
I DID think I'd noticed a lot of references to eating ass on Tumblr recently
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:55 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:55 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
"In an interview with Vlad TV, Trick revealed that he has "recently retired from eating pussy" and now solely dines on booty"
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:57 AM on December 26, 2014
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:57 AM on December 26, 2014
"Call me by my given name."
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:11 AM on December 26, 2014 [14 favorites]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:11 AM on December 26, 2014 [14 favorites]
I salute consenting adults getting their jollies off in any way that suits them. But anilingus seems to require a level of preparatory cleaning that must be awkward to negotiate and would be fairly high stakes in terms of getting it right.
Obviously, plenty of people manage. So this is probably me being an old square.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:18 AM on December 26, 2014 [15 favorites]
Obviously, plenty of people manage. So this is probably me being an old square.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:18 AM on December 26, 2014 [15 favorites]
I'm sure it feels delightful, but no and butt no. Less sexy than knife play.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:19 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:19 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
It's yum yum fun that's cool and keen.
posted by jonmc at 10:19 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by jonmc at 10:19 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Any porn name that sounds utterly implausible has already been used at least once.
How about Goodman Woodman?
"... an unfortunate young woman named ffly fornication Bull, of Hailsham , Sussex, who was made pregnant in the shop of a yeoman improbably called Goodman Woodman." Cite.
posted by cwest at 10:26 AM on December 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
How about Goodman Woodman?
"... an unfortunate young woman named ffly fornication Bull, of Hailsham , Sussex, who was made pregnant in the shop of a yeoman improbably called Goodman Woodman." Cite.
posted by cwest at 10:26 AM on December 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
I salute consenting adults getting their jollies off in any way that suits them. But anilingus seems to require a level of preparatory cleaning that must be awkward to negotiate and would be fairly high stakes in terms of getting it right.
Step One
Step Two
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:28 AM on December 26, 2014 [13 favorites]
Step One
Step Two
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:28 AM on December 26, 2014 [13 favorites]
...the paranoid anxiety that having your booty eaten as a male makes you gay
That's so weird. By that logic, getting a blowjob makes guys gay.
posted by sfkiddo at 10:29 AM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
That's so weird. By that logic, getting a blowjob makes guys gay.
posted by sfkiddo at 10:29 AM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
I'd be all for it, but I can't endorse the cultural appropriation of the Smurf fealty ritual.
posted by gimli at 10:31 AM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by gimli at 10:31 AM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
But anilingus seems to require a level of preparatory cleaning
posted by DirtyOldTown
Eponyhygenic!
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:37 AM on December 26, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown
Eponyhygenic!
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:37 AM on December 26, 2014 [10 favorites]
"Anilingus is having a moment."
Moment, ok. Movement, not so much.
posted by vapidave at 10:41 AM on December 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
Moment, ok. Movement, not so much.
posted by vapidave at 10:41 AM on December 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
Boy...
Humans sure are strange.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=<<EOL<<
posted by PROD_TPSL at 10:48 AM on December 26, 2014
Humans sure are strange.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=<<EOL<<
posted by PROD_TPSL at 10:48 AM on December 26, 2014
No. Nonono. I know, eponysterical etc. but no.
That said, apart from grossing me out completely, this shouldn't be the friggin big deal it is and people making such a fuss about gayness make me sad.
posted by Omnomnom at 10:58 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
That said, apart from grossing me out completely, this shouldn't be the friggin big deal it is and people making such a fuss about gayness make me sad.
posted by Omnomnom at 10:58 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think we are missing the "saladtossing" and "bootyeating" tag, btw.
posted by Omnomnom at 10:59 AM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Omnomnom at 10:59 AM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Sex is such a slippery slope!
posted by srboisvert at 11:03 AM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 11:03 AM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
If a man receiving analingus from a woman is gay, I guess blowjobs are out, too?
Guys who need to delineate what is, or is not gay, are making their own sexual insecurity manifest.
[add obligatory Hamlet quote here]
posted by sudon't at 11:03 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Guys who need to delineate what is, or is not gay, are making their own sexual insecurity manifest.
[add obligatory Hamlet quote here]
posted by sudon't at 11:03 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Drake the type to enthusiastically reciprocate analingus, ejaculate all over a new weave, and then provide a friendly warning not to steal from his bathroom.
posted by a halcyon day at 11:04 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by a halcyon day at 11:04 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
Man, when these guys learn about pegging, things'll REALLY get interesting!
posted by cthuljew at 11:07 AM on December 26, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by cthuljew at 11:07 AM on December 26, 2014 [8 favorites]
As a proud practitioner of the homosexualist arts I have to say the normalization of anal sex in straight culture has been startling. And now rimming? What's next for the Cosmo crowd, fisting?
posted by Nelson at 11:07 AM on December 26, 2014 [15 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 11:07 AM on December 26, 2014 [15 favorites]
I could swear this was posted already, or maybe even deleted as a "feel free to add this to this butts lol thread", but I can't find it at all.
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:14 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:14 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
"Having a moment" is a euphemism for having a temper tantrum where I'm from. I wish I could describe the image that sprung to mind when I saw this post.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 11:15 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 11:15 AM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
"... an unfortunate young woman named ffly fornication Bull, of Hailsham , Sussex, who was made pregnant in the shop of a yeoman improbably called Goodman Woodman."
The sentence previous to that includes the two best names I have ever seen: Humiliation Scratcher and Mortifie Hicks.
I think we are missing the "saladtossing" and "bootyeating" tag, btw.
And "batty wash."
posted by Dip Flash at 11:24 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
The sentence previous to that includes the two best names I have ever seen: Humiliation Scratcher and Mortifie Hicks.
I think we are missing the "saladtossing" and "bootyeating" tag, btw.
And "batty wash."
posted by Dip Flash at 11:24 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
[add obligatory Hamlet quote here]
Do you think I meant country matters?
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:25 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
Do you think I meant country matters?
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:25 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
But anilingus seems to require a level of preparatory cleaning that must be awkward to negotiate and would be fairly high stakes in terms of getting it right.
yeah, showers are a lot of work
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 11:30 AM on December 26, 2014 [16 favorites]
yeah, showers are a lot of work
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 11:30 AM on December 26, 2014 [16 favorites]
Hasn't anyone seen American Psycho? There's a scene where Christian Bale has two women fooling around on his bed while he talks about either Huey Lewis & The News or Phil Collins. One of them has her ass in the air and the other is looking at it hesitantly until he says "don't just stare at it, eat it." I must have been 14 or 15 when I saw that and it made me realize that people eat assholes. I've been doing it ever since I became sexually active.
I've been eating ass before it was cool.
posted by gucci mane at 11:34 AM on December 26, 2014 [13 favorites]
I've been eating ass before it was cool.
posted by gucci mane at 11:34 AM on December 26, 2014 [13 favorites]
I ate a booty once. It never even crossed my mind that I was doing a "gay" thing. There was just a (freshly showered!) booty in front of me, and I wanted to eat it.
And I'd do it again.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 11:36 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
And I'd do it again.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 11:36 AM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
i agree that there is a lot of rimming going on in music these days, but eating ass was pretty common in my circle of friends and partners going back 15 or so years - maybe that more due to the fact that even when i was involved in m/f groupings the sex still slanted towards queer. although, the idea that a woman might stick a pinky up a dude's butt during a blowjob has been a reference/joke/cosmo tip/maxim warning for a long time so it seems like butt munching is part of that whole sphere of sexual expression.
posted by nadawi at 11:38 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by nadawi at 11:38 AM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
yeah, showers are a lot of work
I'd kind of demand extra care if I was going in for that level of attention.
Sure, a shower will get things clean kind of right up to the target area. But if you're going to be rooting around in there with your tongue, "close enough" is probably not the level you want to stop at.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:49 AM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
I'd kind of demand extra care if I was going in for that level of attention.
Sure, a shower will get things clean kind of right up to the target area. But if you're going to be rooting around in there with your tongue, "close enough" is probably not the level you want to stop at.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:49 AM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
It's really considerate that an article which contains gems such as He then offered his now-infamous quote, "Yeah I eat booty! Real niggas eat booty! Real niggas please they bitches!" are kind enough to censor the bad word in "if i ever find out one of my homies eat ass, they are never joining a [smoke] session with me again—no sh*tty lips on a blunt or bong that im using". Because nothing ruins the class level of an Internet Web Page like profanity, which is why you'll never see my posts contain such filth as SHITTY, BUM, KNOCKERS, or SEMPRINI.
posted by disconnect at 12:04 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by disconnect at 12:04 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
"if i ever find out one of my homies eat ass, they are never joining a [smoke] session with me again—no sh*tty lips on a blunt or bong that im using"
Yeah, because you know 100% guar-an-effing-teed that lips that've never been near an anus have also never been near anything else with a few billion microbes on it.
posted by blucevalo at 12:29 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Yeah, because you know 100% guar-an-effing-teed that lips that've never been near an anus have also never been near anything else with a few billion microbes on it.
posted by blucevalo at 12:29 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
"Phil Collins' solo efforts seem to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way, especially songs like 'In the Air Tonight' and 'Against All Odds.' Sabrina, don't just stare at it. Eat it."
posted by blucevalo at 12:32 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by blucevalo at 12:32 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
"We are animals. When confronted with a thing of beauty, our first instinct is to eat it ." - Douglas Coupland.
posted by jonmc at 12:47 PM on December 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 12:47 PM on December 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
Renaissance?? Can we go back to the Dark Ages?
posted by charlie don't surf at 1:05 PM on December 26, 2014
posted by charlie don't surf at 1:05 PM on December 26, 2014
It must feel fantastic, because MY GOD the squick.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 1:08 PM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 1:08 PM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
This reminded me of the whole stigma in Jamaican dancehall and reggae against oral sex. It seems to be weakening (at least for men to receive oral sex), although there's still a lot of homophobia around.
posted by halifix at 1:18 PM on December 26, 2014
posted by halifix at 1:18 PM on December 26, 2014
Pro all this here
posted by bird internet at 1:19 PM on December 26, 2014
posted by bird internet at 1:19 PM on December 26, 2014
Okay, now I need to know. Those of you saying baby wipes or showers are enough to render an anus edible do you actually wipe inside the rim? And thoroughly enough to get all the wrinkles clean? Or are you just thinking "meh, what's a trace element of poop", which, fair enough.
posted by Omnomnom at 1:38 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Omnomnom at 1:38 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
one of the things i love about the most recent beyonce album is how enthusiastically she discusses jay-z, one of the biggest rappers of all time, eating her out (and depending on how it's interpreted, there are lines sprinkled throughout that could be about eating ass).
posted by nadawi at 1:41 PM on December 26, 2014
posted by nadawi at 1:41 PM on December 26, 2014
whether i'm expecting a tongue in my ass or not, my standard level of care involves cleaning inside the rim. who wants to walk around with a shitty butthole?
posted by nadawi at 1:44 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 1:44 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
Derk was the nyght as pich, or as the cole,There's also Taming of the Shrew II.i:
And at the wyndow out she putte hir hole,
And Absolon, hym fil no bet ne wers,
But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers
Ful savourly, er he were war of this.
Abak he stirte, and thoughte it was amys,
For wel he wiste a womman hath no berd.
He felte a thyng al rough and long yherd,
And seyde, "Fy! allas! what have I do?"
"Tehee!" quod she, and clapte the wyndow to.
Geoffrey Chaucer, The Booty-Eating Miller's Tale
PETRUCHIO: Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail.
KATHARINA: In his tongue.
PETRUCHIO: Whose tongue?
KATHARINA: Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell.
PETRUCHIO: What, with my tongue in your tail? nay, come again, good Kate; I am a gentleman.
posted by Pallas Athena at 1:44 PM on December 26, 2014 [29 favorites]
i mean, how are some of you showering? just letting the water hit the small of your back and hoping everything below magically gets clean?
posted by nadawi at 1:56 PM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by nadawi at 1:56 PM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
SIR LUTHER CAMPBELL: Then lick my ass up and down
Don't try to be slick and give me a kiss
Lick it 'till your tongue turns doo-doo brown
posted by Cookiebastard at 1:58 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Don't try to be slick and give me a kiss
Lick it 'till your tongue turns doo-doo brown
posted by Cookiebastard at 1:58 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
"I could swear this was posted already, or maybe even deleted as a "feel free to add this to this butts lol thread", but I can't find it at all."
I couldn't find it either, but I know that it was posted about the same time as the ass-eating articles featured within it hit the blue.
A running joke between me and my fiancee while stuck here with her family was to tell everyone our plans for the New Year were just to spend the whole day eating ass, because we don't really have plans and her neurotic family doesn't understand not having plans for New Year's Eve.
posted by klangklangston at 2:14 PM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
I couldn't find it either, but I know that it was posted about the same time as the ass-eating articles featured within it hit the blue.
A running joke between me and my fiancee while stuck here with her family was to tell everyone our plans for the New Year were just to spend the whole day eating ass, because we don't really have plans and her neurotic family doesn't understand not having plans for New Year's Eve.
posted by klangklangston at 2:14 PM on December 26, 2014 [12 favorites]
i mean, how are some of you showering? just letting the water hit the small of your back and hoping everything below magically gets clean?
No, of course not. I guess I apply the same kind of friction like wiping after a number two. I just don't...stick anything in my butt.
This is the weirdest conversation In a long time. I'm sorry!
posted by Omnomnom at 2:33 PM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
No, of course not. I guess I apply the same kind of friction like wiping after a number two. I just don't...stick anything in my butt.
This is the weirdest conversation In a long time. I'm sorry!
posted by Omnomnom at 2:33 PM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I've been eating ass before it was cool.
posted by gucci mane at 11:34 AM on December 26 [5 favorites +] [!] [quote]
It's better when warm.
posted by chavenet at 2:33 PM on December 26, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by gucci mane at 11:34 AM on December 26 [5 favorites +] [!] [quote]
It's better when warm.
posted by chavenet at 2:33 PM on December 26, 2014 [10 favorites]
Klangklangston, I'm picturing something like that scene in Sid & Nancy:
Well, first off, we're going to go down to the methadone clinic on Monday and then, uh,Nancy'sshe's gonna get me some gigsgive me some rimjobs. And then we're gonna go off and, like, live in Paris, and just sort of go out in a blaze of glory holes. But don't worry, though, you know, you'll be proud of us.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:38 PM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Well, first off, we're going to go down to the methadone clinic on Monday and then, uh,
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:38 PM on December 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Anyone who doesn't spend New Year's eating ass has no idea what holiday spirit is.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 2:45 PM on December 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 2:45 PM on December 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
Um, why do we need "anilingus" when "rimming" was already available?
Perhaps there is some subtlety I am missing...
posted by allthinky at 3:12 PM on December 26, 2014
Perhaps there is some subtlety I am missing...
posted by allthinky at 3:12 PM on December 26, 2014
I wonder if people's disgust at this act is related to whether or not they stand or sit to wipe.
posted by halifix at 3:19 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by halifix at 3:19 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
proud practitioner of the homosexualist arts
If I were gay, I would be sorely, sorely tempted to put this on all my business cards.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:23 PM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
If I were gay, I would be sorely, sorely tempted to put this on all my business cards.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:23 PM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
I sort of figured this was a great use case to convince people to add dental dams to their stash of safer sex equipment.
posted by rmd1023 at 3:29 PM on December 26, 2014
posted by rmd1023 at 3:29 PM on December 26, 2014
Um, why do we need "anilingus" when "rimming" was already available?
Sometimes you want to fly Aer Lingus, sometimes you want to fly anilingus.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:30 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Sometimes you want to fly Aer Lingus, sometimes you want to fly anilingus.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:30 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I just don't...stick anything in my butt.
... and the official song of this thread is Eddie Murphy's "Boogie In Your Butt."
"Phil Collins' solo efforts seem to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way, especially songs like 'In the Air Tonight'
I hear that on rare occasions Phil's been known to perform that song as "In the Ass Tonight."
posted by octobersurprise at 3:37 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
... and the official song of this thread is Eddie Murphy's "Boogie In Your Butt."
"Phil Collins' solo efforts seem to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way, especially songs like 'In the Air Tonight'
I hear that on rare occasions Phil's been known to perform that song as "In the Ass Tonight."
posted by octobersurprise at 3:37 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Um, why do we need "anilingus" when "rimming" was already available?
For the same reason we need the term "Vulva" when "Pussy" was already available. One's the correct term you can actually use in polite company given the right circumstances, and the other term is usually found spray-painted on the side of walls on the seedier side of town, so to speak.
posted by surazal at 4:10 PM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
For the same reason we need the term "Vulva" when "Pussy" was already available. One's the correct term you can actually use in polite company given the right circumstances, and the other term is usually found spray-painted on the side of walls on the seedier side of town, so to speak.
posted by surazal at 4:10 PM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
... and the official song of this thread is Eddie Murphy's "Boogie In Your Butt."
I ain't puttin' no boogie in nobody's butt. That's nasty, man, what you talkin bout?
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 4:34 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I ain't puttin' no boogie in nobody's butt. That's nasty, man, what you talkin bout?
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 4:34 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Hm. That song sure was a lot funnier in middle school for some reason.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 4:36 PM on December 26, 2014
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 4:36 PM on December 26, 2014
I propose an alternative soundtrack to this thread.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 5:01 PM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by mrjohnmuller at 5:01 PM on December 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Sometimes you want to fly Aer Lingus, sometimes you want to fly anilingus.
nobody wants to fly aer lingus
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:16 PM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
nobody wants to fly aer lingus
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:16 PM on December 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
The only complex I have about it is giving and giving but never getting. Well, that and really liking combining it with face sitting.
posted by Samizdata at 5:27 PM on December 26, 2014
posted by Samizdata at 5:27 PM on December 26, 2014
Yes...we all get it. For a few of you, a pressure washer and a belt sander won't be able to scrub away the mental "poop comes from there" squick. For others, it's "periods come from there", "you pee from there" or "mouth germs are gross". No need to pretend sphincters are some how vastly more filthy or uniquely impervious to hygiene.
posted by kjs3 at 5:27 PM on December 26, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by kjs3 at 5:27 PM on December 26, 2014 [11 favorites]
This is the kind of thread that makes me glad I'm too emotionally stunted to be dating anyone because I just don't have to worry about any of this because I'm not getting laid.
posted by maryr at 6:45 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by maryr at 6:45 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
I'm not judging, mind you! It's just like "Yes! I don't have to spend holidays with the in-laws! Because I don't have any, ha ha! Just my family! Just... My... Family. Huh. Hmm."
posted by maryr at 7:27 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by maryr at 7:27 PM on December 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
yeah, showers are a lot of work
I'd kind of demand extra care if I was going in for that level of attention.
Sure, a shower will get things clean kind of right up to the target area. But if you're going to be rooting around in there with your tongue, "close enough" is probably not the level you want to stop at.
It's sort of a tricky thing. In the Joy of Gay Sex the authors talk about the proper way to douche and say that many people who engage in ass-to-mouth play keep an enema bulb in their shower, which I have not come across, personally. But there is some awkward and oblique discussion of cleanliness that goes on, sort of comically dancing around the issue. This is something I think about because I have a fairly high sex drive, and am open to a lot of stuff, but am also mysophobic as a component of my (fairly severe when un-medicated) OCD.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:36 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I'd kind of demand extra care if I was going in for that level of attention.
Sure, a shower will get things clean kind of right up to the target area. But if you're going to be rooting around in there with your tongue, "close enough" is probably not the level you want to stop at.
It's sort of a tricky thing. In the Joy of Gay Sex the authors talk about the proper way to douche and say that many people who engage in ass-to-mouth play keep an enema bulb in their shower, which I have not come across, personally. But there is some awkward and oblique discussion of cleanliness that goes on, sort of comically dancing around the issue. This is something I think about because I have a fairly high sex drive, and am open to a lot of stuff, but am also mysophobic as a component of my (fairly severe when un-medicated) OCD.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:36 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
No need to pretend sphincters are some how vastly more filthy or uniquely impervious to hygiene.
Poop comes from there. Poop is about as gross as life gets, really. I can't think of anything that comes out of genitals that is as nasty as poop.
Now, by saying I'm squicked, I'm NOT trying to say other people shouldn't do it! If it feels good and doesn't make you want to scream with revulsion, enjoy!
who wants to walk around with a shitty butthole?
Coming next season on Fox!
posted by Ursula Hitler at 9:37 PM on December 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
Poop comes from there. Poop is about as gross as life gets, really. I can't think of anything that comes out of genitals that is as nasty as poop.
Now, by saying I'm squicked, I'm NOT trying to say other people shouldn't do it! If it feels good and doesn't make you want to scream with revulsion, enjoy!
who wants to walk around with a shitty butthole?
Coming next season on Fox!
posted by Ursula Hitler at 9:37 PM on December 26, 2014 [6 favorites]
I think we are missing the "saladtossing" and "bootyeating" tag, btw.
And the obligatory.
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:45 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
And the obligatory.
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:45 PM on December 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
You know that there is a machine that is more effective and efficient than either shower or wet wipe to clean that area: the Japanese bidet toilet. Behold, The Toto Washlet in all its engineering glory! Video 1 and 2. It takes YEARS to train someone to do what that toilet does by remote control! Did I mention there is an air dryer too?
I only bring this up being a technical sort... No judging!
posted by jadepearl at 10:59 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
I only bring this up being a technical sort... No judging!
posted by jadepearl at 10:59 PM on December 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'll just leave this here.
I'm not eating those -- those are some hairy arsed chocolate *man* anuses.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:27 AM on December 27, 2014
I'm not eating those -- those are some hairy arsed chocolate *man* anuses.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:27 AM on December 27, 2014
As a proud practitioner of the homosexualist arts I have to say ... [w]hat's next for the Cosmo crowd, fisting?
After enough cosmos, anything is possible.
posted by zippy at 12:34 AM on December 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
After enough cosmos, anything is possible.
posted by zippy at 12:34 AM on December 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I can't think of anything that comes out of genitals that is as nasty as poop.
babies
posted by poffin boffin at 12:59 AM on December 27, 2014 [42 favorites]
babies
posted by poffin boffin at 12:59 AM on December 27, 2014 [42 favorites]
And what are babies if not poop-producing machines?
posted by Gordafarin at 2:50 AM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Gordafarin at 2:50 AM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Poop eating machines.
posted by Omnomnom at 4:38 AM on December 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by Omnomnom at 4:38 AM on December 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
The Toto Washlet
It blesses the rains down in ass-rica.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:55 AM on December 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
It blesses the rains down in ass-rica.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:55 AM on December 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'll just leave this here.
I'm not eating those -- those are some hairy arsed chocolate *man* anuses.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:27 AM on December 27 [+] [!]
My partner says they are girl butts. On the website they list the name of their butt model.
posted by chainsofreedom at 6:42 AM on December 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'm not eating those -- those are some hairy arsed chocolate *man* anuses.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:27 AM on December 27 [+] [!]
My partner says they are girl butts. On the website they list the name of their butt model.
posted by chainsofreedom at 6:42 AM on December 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'm not eating those -- those are some hairy arsed chocolate *man* anuses.
At least they aren't made of Toblerone.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:45 AM on December 27, 2014
At least they aren't made of Toblerone.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:45 AM on December 27, 2014
chavenet: I've been eating ass before it was cool.So, before it was cool?
It's better when warm.
posted by IAmBroom at 10:36 AM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
sebastienbailard: I think we are missing the "saladtossing" and "bootyeating" tag, btw.As ALWAYS, my reply is: Yes (if it doesn't smell bad) (and I RDGAF that some germs don't smell bad).
And the obligatory.
posted by IAmBroom at 10:52 AM on December 27, 2014
I propose an alternative soundtrack to this thread.
I propose an alternative to your alternative.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:36 AM on December 27, 2014
I propose an alternative to your alternative.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:36 AM on December 27, 2014
I'm not eating those -- those are some hairy arsed chocolate *man* anuses.
Manuses, if you will.
Also, if you can tell the gender of the anus bearer by the wrinkle star pattern alone, I salute you. That's one seriously fine tuned if largely unpragmatic skill.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 11:39 AM on December 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
Manuses, if you will.
Also, if you can tell the gender of the anus bearer by the wrinkle star pattern alone, I salute you. That's one seriously fine tuned if largely unpragmatic skill.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 11:39 AM on December 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
Any porn name that sounds utterly implausible has already been used at least once.
My scat filmography is under the nom de spume 'Brick Wylde'.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:16 PM on December 27, 2014
My scat filmography is under the nom de spume 'Brick Wylde'.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:16 PM on December 27, 2014
I wonder if the committee who decided on the recent UK anti-facesitting legislation were actually more up to date with contemporary trends than we give them credit for? Maybe they saw all this unfolding in the US and were overcome by fear of a butt planet?
Where do the Brasilians sit on this? They have a reputation for being ass-philic.
posted by asok at 1:23 PM on December 27, 2014
Where do the Brasilians sit on this? They have a reputation for being ass-philic.
posted by asok at 1:23 PM on December 27, 2014
It's better when warm.
Proverbially, ass is a dish best served cold. (Tho the proverb sounds better in the original Klingon.)
posted by octobersurprise at 1:24 PM on December 27, 2014
Proverbially, ass is a dish best served cold. (Tho the proverb sounds better in the original Klingon.)
posted by octobersurprise at 1:24 PM on December 27, 2014
I blame 'foodies'
posted by thelonius at 2:38 PM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by thelonius at 2:38 PM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Couple things:
1) Is the butt dirtier than other parts we nibble on? Must one take exceptional care to clean it prior to engaging in this suddenly mainstream sex act? I genuinely don't know.
2) I have one of those wonder bidets, as does virtually everyone living in a modern high-rise in Seoul. The worst part about traveling is not having a bidet. I've come to the conclusion that it's uncivilized, even.
3) This.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:06 PM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
1) Is the butt dirtier than other parts we nibble on? Must one take exceptional care to clean it prior to engaging in this suddenly mainstream sex act? I genuinely don't know.
2) I have one of those wonder bidets, as does virtually everyone living in a modern high-rise in Seoul. The worst part about traveling is not having a bidet. I've come to the conclusion that it's uncivilized, even.
3) This.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 3:06 PM on December 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
"So, before it was cool?"
Are you sure this is what you want to be on the nose about?
posted by klangklangston at 3:12 PM on December 27, 2014
Are you sure this is what you want to be on the nose about?
posted by klangklangston at 3:12 PM on December 27, 2014
1) Is the butt dirtier than other parts we nibble on? Must one take exceptional care to clean it prior to engaging in this suddenly mainstream sex act? I genuinely don't know.
The butt has poop come out of it and most people find the idea of getting any small amount of poop into their mouth to be very gross. I don't think there's really any specific biological risk aside from the fact that there are some illnesses that are transmitted butt-to-mouth (I don't think it's a severe risk factor)
posted by RustyBrooks at 5:19 PM on December 27, 2014
The butt has poop come out of it and most people find the idea of getting any small amount of poop into their mouth to be very gross. I don't think there's really any specific biological risk aside from the fact that there are some illnesses that are transmitted butt-to-mouth (I don't think it's a severe risk factor)
posted by RustyBrooks at 5:19 PM on December 27, 2014
Hepatitis A and B vaccines are recommended for sexually active gay men, effectively considered a sexually transmitted disease. I've never been sure but I assume that's related to fecal contact, either hands (to face) or mouth.
I really am curious how anal sex has become almost "normal" for straight people in the US and what effect that's had. Has there been an increase in heterosexual HIV transmission? Hepatitis? I suspect the effect is small and hard to measure.
posted by Nelson at 5:23 PM on December 27, 2014
I really am curious how anal sex has become almost "normal" for straight people in the US and what effect that's had. Has there been an increase in heterosexual HIV transmission? Hepatitis? I suspect the effect is small and hard to measure.
posted by Nelson at 5:23 PM on December 27, 2014
Has there been an increase in heterosexual HIV transmission? Hepatitis? I suspect the effect is small and hard to measure.
The rate of (non IV drug using) heterosexual HIV infection in the US is very low overall, so even if people are having somewhat riskier sex it isn't going to make that number jump immediately. (And anal sex remains less frequent than you'd guess from its prominence in porn and how often it is discussed.)
I don't think there's really any specific biological risk aside from the fact that there are some illnesses that are transmitted butt-to-mouth (I don't think it's a severe risk factor)
It will put you at higher risk for any disease where oral-fecal contact is the vector, so anything from hepatitis to cholera to giardia, say, plus of course the usual parasites. How big of a worry that is depends on the health of your partner and how good your immune system is -- you'd want to be a lot more cautious if you were immune compromised, for example, but otherwise you are unlikely to have any ill effects.
But people in general are super casual about oral-fecal contact as long as it isn't quite as direct as sticking your tongue in there, as can be seen in the very, very low rates of handwashing after pooping and the common practice of slipping a finger in the back door during sex or just scratching a really satisfying itch back there.
This FPP reminded me of the intercultural question posed in this paywalled article from Harpers by Jen Percy, titled "Love Crimes: What liberation looks like for Afghan women":
The rate of (non IV drug using) heterosexual HIV infection in the US is very low overall, so even if people are having somewhat riskier sex it isn't going to make that number jump immediately. (And anal sex remains less frequent than you'd guess from its prominence in porn and how often it is discussed.)
I don't think there's really any specific biological risk aside from the fact that there are some illnesses that are transmitted butt-to-mouth (I don't think it's a severe risk factor)
It will put you at higher risk for any disease where oral-fecal contact is the vector, so anything from hepatitis to cholera to giardia, say, plus of course the usual parasites. How big of a worry that is depends on the health of your partner and how good your immune system is -- you'd want to be a lot more cautious if you were immune compromised, for example, but otherwise you are unlikely to have any ill effects.
But people in general are super casual about oral-fecal contact as long as it isn't quite as direct as sticking your tongue in there, as can be seen in the very, very low rates of handwashing after pooping and the common practice of slipping a finger in the back door during sex or just scratching a really satisfying itch back there.
This FPP reminded me of the intercultural question posed in this paywalled article from Harpers by Jen Percy, titled "Love Crimes: What liberation looks like for Afghan women":
The police subjected Mariam to a hymen check. I asked her about it. She said she was spread on all fours with her pants off, but with her shirt left on. The results went to the courts, where judges declared her innocent. Months later she was back at home.posted by Dip Flash at 7:34 PM on December 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
“But you aren’t a virgin?” I said.
“Oh, we do it in the backside,” Davoud said. “Is America more of a frontside or a backside country?”
Um...thanks?
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:37 PM on December 27, 2014
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:37 PM on December 27, 2014
1) Is the butt dirtier than other parts we nibble on?
Does it make a difference? Here's a great article about the relationship between the spread of the blowjob as normal sex, and the rise of drug-resistant gonorrhea.
posted by sneebler at 9:33 AM on December 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
Does it make a difference? Here's a great article about the relationship between the spread of the blowjob as normal sex, and the rise of drug-resistant gonorrhea.
posted by sneebler at 9:33 AM on December 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
Does it make a difference? Here's a great article about the relationship between the spread of the blowjob as normal sex, and the rise of drug-resistant gonorrhea.
It's not just that oral sex has become a "normal" sex option, though, it's that unprotected oral sex was seen as a safer alternative to vaginal and anal sex. (There is more than a grain of truth to that, if you mostly care about HIV and/or pregnancy.) Prostitution and sex tourism were also big contributors to the boom in resistance.
And I mean -- it's really great that public health organizations decided to act on controlling drug-resistant gonorrhea: as a result it has become less, not more common over the past several years. But even at its absolute height, only a small minority of cases were ever resistant to the first-line antibiotic, and changing the recommended treatment regimen was basically all it took to bring that below 1% (again, just among confirmed gonorrhea cases, and that's just resistance to the first line drug).
I definitely don't want to minimize that problem, but at the same time, you have to put something like drug-resistant gonorrhea in perspective and do your own risk management calculus. Rimming isn't so new or rare that we don't know anything about the public health risks. The chance that you're going to get/give some horrifying super-bug by engaging in unprotected rimming is way, way lower than the chance that you might get 1. some pretty ordinary food poisoning, 2. Hep A/B if you are unvaccinated, or 3. herpes (just like any other form of unprotected oral sex).
posted by en forme de poire at 11:30 AM on December 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
It's not just that oral sex has become a "normal" sex option, though, it's that unprotected oral sex was seen as a safer alternative to vaginal and anal sex. (There is more than a grain of truth to that, if you mostly care about HIV and/or pregnancy.) Prostitution and sex tourism were also big contributors to the boom in resistance.
And I mean -- it's really great that public health organizations decided to act on controlling drug-resistant gonorrhea: as a result it has become less, not more common over the past several years. But even at its absolute height, only a small minority of cases were ever resistant to the first-line antibiotic, and changing the recommended treatment regimen was basically all it took to bring that below 1% (again, just among confirmed gonorrhea cases, and that's just resistance to the first line drug).
I definitely don't want to minimize that problem, but at the same time, you have to put something like drug-resistant gonorrhea in perspective and do your own risk management calculus. Rimming isn't so new or rare that we don't know anything about the public health risks. The chance that you're going to get/give some horrifying super-bug by engaging in unprotected rimming is way, way lower than the chance that you might get 1. some pretty ordinary food poisoning, 2. Hep A/B if you are unvaccinated, or 3. herpes (just like any other form of unprotected oral sex).
posted by en forme de poire at 11:30 AM on December 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
I really am curious how anal sex has become almost "normal" for straight people in the US and what effect that's had.
Additionally, that normalization has been gradual over quite a few decades, and you'd have to factor in that lots of people have always been having anal sex but previously might not have wanted to admit to it given its taboo (and in many places in the US until recently, actually illegal) status.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:00 PM on December 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
Additionally, that normalization has been gradual over quite a few decades, and you'd have to factor in that lots of people have always been having anal sex but previously might not have wanted to admit to it given its taboo (and in many places in the US until recently, actually illegal) status.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:00 PM on December 28, 2014 [2 favorites]
Poop - its everywhere
On your phone
On your hands
On banknotes, credit cards
posted by marienbad at 8:20 AM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]
On your phone
On your hands
On banknotes, credit cards
posted by marienbad at 8:20 AM on December 29, 2014 [1 favorite]
I propose an alternative soundtrack to this thread.
I propose an alternative to your alternative. yt
And another.
posted by homunculus at 2:18 PM on December 29, 2014
I propose an alternative to your alternative. yt
And another.
posted by homunculus at 2:18 PM on December 29, 2014
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posted by chavenet at 9:16 AM on December 26, 2014 [7 favorites]