Intel Includes
January 7, 2015 11:05 AM   Subscribe

 
Welp, after reviewing that dress, I think this post is missing the "nightmare fuel" tag.
posted by pwnguin at 11:13 AM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


I estimate that money could get 5,000 more students a year to college if they spend it right. Not bad.
posted by michaelh at 11:15 AM on January 7, 2015


Her eyes say yes, but her dress says no.
posted by chavenet at 11:19 AM on January 7, 2015 [9 favorites]


"It’s not good enough to say we value diversity and then have our workplaces and our industry not reflect the full availability and talent pool of women and underrepresented minorities.... We’re going to hold our leaders accountable by tying their pay to our progress."

I think this is good and I hope other companies follow suit.
posted by scatter gather at 11:21 AM on January 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


I love how the bleeding edge headlines of today naturally lend to the Gibsonian headlines of tomorrow: "Firmware Error Meets Tragically Timed Sneezing Fit, Dress Accidentally Targets and Devours Wearer's Own Face In Front Of Horrified Restaurant Crowd"
posted by FatherDagon at 11:21 AM on January 7, 2015 [16 favorites]


Not providing links because fuck 'em, but Gamergate/KotakuInAction are really mad about this.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:25 AM on January 7, 2015 [50 favorites]


Good.
posted by Artw at 11:27 AM on January 7, 2015 [37 favorites]


I'm glad they finally chose to do the right thing. Linux kernel developer Matthew Garrett ceased working with them as a result of their previous spinelessness.
posted by Poldo at 11:28 AM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


Not providing links because fuck 'em, but Gamergate/KotakuInAction are really mad about this.

That's a feature, not a bug.
posted by chavenet at 11:28 AM on January 7, 2015 [25 favorites]


Really really glad to see this happen. I complained to Intel about their "accidental" GamerGate support, and am kind of hoping that with all the awfulness of GamerGate that something good comes out of it.

I'm sure Gamergate/KotakuInAction are just upset about the ethics of praising a tech company in journalism. It in no way is about misogyny.
posted by Llama-Lime at 11:29 AM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


The dress: Finally, a defense against compulsive huggers.
posted by Cranberry at 11:41 AM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


Inevitable "Boycott Intel, buy AMD" campaigns by GG buffoons in 5, 4, 3...
posted by jklaiho at 11:42 AM on January 7, 2015


(Hopefully AMD, nVidia etc. follow suit, of course. Would be priceless.)
posted by jklaiho at 11:44 AM on January 7, 2015


This is really cool.
posted by postcommunism at 11:46 AM on January 7, 2015


It's somewhat amusing to see how a major, laudable employment equity program for a leading maker of CPUs and other components is really about ethics in gaming journalism.
posted by bonehead at 11:49 AM on January 7, 2015 [20 favorites]


(Hopefully AMD, nVidia etc. follow suit, of course. Would be priceless.)

And gators everywhere dust off their old MediaGX boxes...
posted by selfnoise at 11:52 AM on January 7, 2015


Inevitable "Boycott Intel, buy AMD" campaigns by GG buffoons in 5, 4, 3...

When Intel pulled their advertising there was talk on Twitter of a "Boycott Intel, buy AMD" campaign, so maybe GG can take it over.
posted by ajh_ at 11:53 AM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Inevitable "Boycott Intel, buy AMD" campaigns by GG buffoons in 5, 4, 3...

The irony here is that blind brand loyalty or choosing products based on feelings is exactly the kind of thing that marks people as fake geeks and SJWs in their eyes. They're having the exact same response that they were so gleefully mocking when they thought Intel was on their side.
posted by zombieflanders at 11:54 AM on January 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


[I know GG's kind of a hard-to-ditch earworm of bullshittery but would probably be better not to turn this into another thread about it.]
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:02 PM on January 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


Welp, after reviewing that dress, I think this post is missing the "nightmare fuel" tag.

I liked it! But I am an introvert. The facehugger-fingers need to be just a warning before it deploys its blades or fires its claymores.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:03 PM on January 7, 2015


It's good to hear our processor monoculture will at least have some diversity in the workforce.
posted by davemee at 12:06 PM on January 7, 2015


It's good to hear our processor monoculture will at least have some diversity in the workforce.

It is a bit disARMing.
posted by ryoshu at 12:07 PM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yes I would like the spider apparatus but attached to a cozy hoodie, please. Can I program it to detect fedoras?
posted by almostmanda at 12:07 PM on January 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


Lolth only has 66 hit points regardless of whether or not she has a 3D printer.
posted by benzenedream at 12:15 PM on January 7, 2015 [11 favorites]


Her eyes say yes, but her dress says no.

Imagine an inverse spider dress that can say yes instead of no, maybe by entwining the person and then WHOOPS TENTACLES NOPE NOPE.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:16 PM on January 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Whoa I just googled "kotakuinaction" and all I can say is WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK



There are humans, ostensibly, who have discovered an alternate reality in which nothing makes sense, ever





Jesus wept
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:16 PM on January 7, 2015 [7 favorites]


They were trying for equality earlier, but kept running into a nasty floating-point bug.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:17 PM on January 7, 2015 [16 favorites]


Can I program it to detect fedoras?

M'lady, I...

*TWITCH*

*STABSTABSTAB*

It's a trilby!! A tril--

*STABSTABSTAB*

--byyyyyyyyyy....ack...gah...
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:18 PM on January 7, 2015 [12 favorites]


Oh. Sorry cortex, just saw your note. In other news, good on Intel. I used to work there, many ages ago, I'm heartened (and not all that surprised, based on my personal experiences) by it.
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:19 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Great! Maybe they can also focus on ways to make their process engineering jobs NOT a soul-crushing hellscape of 24/7 pager fatigue and vacation days taken in order to have weekends off!
posted by Existential Dread at 12:25 PM on January 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


How little time it has taken for us to lose all memory of Za'ha'dum.
posted by cgk at 12:27 PM on January 7, 2015 [10 favorites]


After reading the spider dress article, I'd be interested in an outfit that turns you into a cut plank of wood to indicate you are board.
posted by halifix at 12:30 PM on January 7, 2015 [10 favorites]


Can we make this to spear the guys who spread their legs on the subway? Not in any really sensitive places, but just in the thigh. If they are going to take up two seats, make them earn it. I'll buy two for every female friend of mine and one for myself (ok, not really, but I can dream).
posted by Hactar at 12:34 PM on January 7, 2015


The dress: Finally, a defense against compulsive huggers.

Perhaps, although if you dislike physical proximity walking around with the impaled corpse of a would-be hugger fastened to your clothing might not be the ideal scenario.
posted by yoink at 12:34 PM on January 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


Bravo (sincerely), particularly after their terribad initial response to Gamergate.
posted by longdaysjourney at 12:36 PM on January 7, 2015


Perhaps, although if you dislike physical proximity walking around with the impaled corpse of a would-be hugger fastened to your clothing might not be the ideal scenario.

Actually, I can't really think of a more ideal scenario no matter how hard I try.
posted by surazal at 12:50 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I can't really think of a more ideal scenario no matter how hard I try

*makes mental note about surazal*
posted by yoink at 12:53 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Yay, good news!
posted by oceanjesse at 12:54 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


An impaled corpse would be an even better hug deterrent than just the spider armor, no?
posted by almostmanda at 12:55 PM on January 7, 2015


An impaled corpse would be an even better hug deterrent than just the spider armor, no?

That's what I'm saying!
posted by surazal at 12:56 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Iron Maidens, in Silicon Chips.
posted by infini at 1:01 PM on January 7, 2015


"Approach the wearer to[o] aggressively and the mechanical limbs move up to an attack position. Approach the system under calmer circumstance and the dress just might beckon you to come closer with smooth, suggestive gestures."

NOPE SPIDER YOU CAN'T FOOL ME
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:04 PM on January 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


It's good to hear our processor monoculture will at least have some diversity in the workforce.

As an erstwhile gamer I keep upgrading my gaming rig every odd year, despite having little time for games and a 100+ backlog of Steam games that will run fine on my laptop. Every time I itch for an upgrade, Intel and Nvidia seem to have the best price/performance products and I reluctantly give them my money even though I yearn to support the underdog. Lately, however, most of my games are played on the ARM based iPad, and on the PC front everything seems to be GPU rather than CPU limited. I'm not convinced that the Intel hegemony is even nearly as much of a threat to a competitive computing market as Microsoft was in its heyday.
posted by delegeferenda at 1:17 PM on January 7, 2015


I'm really hoping that this very public effort by Intel spreads to the rest of the STEM industry. I have mentioned previously that this year I will be driving some diversity and inclusion efforts within my team, and possibly the wider organization, and I would be happy to use this to goad them into taking more substantive action.
posted by blurker at 1:43 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


“This isn’t just good business, it’s the right thing to do.”
But it's good business all the same and I have no doubt they only decided to take this step after they crunched the numbers and worked out it was better for them financially. I'm a bit conflicted about something like this being announced via a high-profile keynote address, because it may encourage others to do the same on one hand, but it also smacks of self-promotion by making such a big deal of announcing they are going to do something they should have been doing all along. Kind of like a serial killer making a formal announcement of their retirement.
posted by dg at 1:56 PM on January 7, 2015


The spider dress is kind of a fail, though, if you're really an introvert. I rarely speak to strangers in public. But if I saw someone in that fucking awesome dress, I would feel compelled to walk over and say, "Holy shit, that's a fucking awesome dress!" Cause that's a fucking awesome dress.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:56 PM on January 7, 2015


The spider dress is kind of a fail, though...

the spider dress is a piece of anti-feminist agit-prop art. it says women can only be safe from men in society if their position is backed up with threats of violence. instead of the engineered dress you might as well have a dude in a fedora flash a knife anytime another man doesn't say "M'lady"
posted by ennui.bz at 2:05 PM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


That dress is Kerrigan/Starcraft cosplay, right? Good on Intel for their initiative.
posted by ersatz at 2:06 PM on January 7, 2015


I was thinking it was H.R. Giger night on Project Runway. One day you're in, and the next day, you have an alien gestating in your chest cavity. Make it work.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:11 PM on January 7, 2015 [10 favorites]


Chitinous spines are very fashion forwards.
posted by Artw at 2:12 PM on January 7, 2015


First prize is a fashion spread in Marie Claire Magazine. Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you have an alien gestating in your chest cavity.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:16 PM on January 7, 2015 [11 favorites]



It's good to hear our processor monoculture will at least have some diversity in the workforce.

As an erstwhile gamer I keep upgrading my gaming rig every odd year, despite having little time for games and a 100+ backlog of Steam games that will run fine on my laptop. Every time I itch for an upgrade, Intel and Nvidia seem to have the best price/performance products and I reluctantly give them my money...


the question isn't whether Intel/Nvidia is or isn't the best on the market, but what products might be for sale if monopolists like Intel and Nvidia didn't tightly control the market.

“This isn’t just good business, it’s the right thing to do.”

Intel wants to spend $300 million over 5 years to broaden it's pool of job applicants by convincing women that they want to work 60-80 hours a week, without overtime pay and under relentless pressure from management, for years, and then be casually discarded to be replaced with fresh engineers who don't know better. and they want you to think this has something to do with a more just and equal society.
posted by ennui.bz at 2:17 PM on January 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


(also, turn off your ad-block and look at the 'clickhole' ads for testosterone sprays and seduction techniques that accompany the spider dress blurb)
posted by ennui.bz at 2:18 PM on January 7, 2015


I WANT THAT DRESS.




I am not kidding.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:23 PM on January 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Is it weird that I think I'd actually be more attracted to someone wearing the spider dress?

"Hey can I buy you a dr... Oh wow, that is fucking awesome! Does it just... nope it works on all sides! What kind of battery life do you get? Are those fully articulated, or do they just work on the single hinge? Was this 3D printed? Because wow, seriously cool...."
posted by quin at 2:27 PM on January 7, 2015 [8 favorites]


If I still did drag I would move heaven and earth to obtain that dress. I disagree that it's anti-feminist, though; I read it as saying "LOOK. LOOK AT WHAT IS ACTUALLY NECESSARY TO MAKE MEN BACK OFF."
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:29 PM on January 7, 2015 [18 favorites]


Well I've never done drag, and I kind of want one.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:41 PM on January 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


it also smacks of self-promotion by making such a big deal of announcing they are going to do something they should have been doing all along.

Intel wants to spend $300 million over 5 years to broaden it's pool of job applicants by convincing women that they want to work 60-80 hours a week, without overtime pay and under relentless pressure from management, for years, and then be casually discarded to be replaced with fresh engineers who don't know better. and they want you to think this has something to do with a more just and equal society.

I get the big-business cynicism, but from personal experience they've been making concerted efforts to recruit/retain technically-inclined women for many years.

My then-fiancee and I were both hired by Intel out of college (nerdly engineering backgrounds). I left after 4 years to pursue a different passion, but my wife has now been there over 20 years. When our first son was born, she asked for (and was granted) an extended, ~9 month *job-protected* personal leave on top of her legally-mandated 12(?)-week maternity leave. That was over 12 years ago, so even then they were making efforts because they recognized they were losing proportionally more women in the long term due to old-school inflexibility in cases such as hers. More recently, my wife has been flexing her schedule to better align with our kids' school times. And they've kept my wife, today a pretty high-level engineer, largely because of this flexibility. Just sayin'. YMMV, etc.
posted by rodeoclown at 2:45 PM on January 7, 2015 [12 favorites]


[I know GG's kind of a hard-to-ditch earworm of bullshittery but would probably be better not to turn this into another thread about it.]

Well to be fair, this is how it's being covered quite a few places, and how it's being discussed quite a few places. "Let's not bring up the gamergate connection or talk about gamergate" is sort of an annoying elephant-room way to take this.

Whether or not they frame this as a response to the previous stuff that happened with GG, it's being taken as one implicitly by quite a few people and media sites.
posted by emptythought at 2:59 PM on January 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


I would prefer the dress in a pair of pauldrons with matched greaves (for those irresponsible men who won't just put an aspirin between their knees to sit in publicly shared spaces) that could slot over regular clothes, though it might need a chest piece to hold it all together. Maybe hip pieces instead of greaves?
posted by NoraReed at 3:02 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I hope Intel follows through. I'm hopefully suspicious.

As for the dress - OMG AWESOME. That thing is amazing. I wonder if 3D printed stuff can work for boning - I've been idly planning out a new cosplay that involves a hoop-halfskirt and wondering how I was going to do the front edge, because the whole thing will be more stable if it's a curve...
posted by Deoridhe at 3:04 PM on January 7, 2015


Intel wants to spend $300 million over 5 years to broaden it's pool of job applicants by convincing women that they want to work 60-80 hours a week, without overtime pay and under relentless pressure from management, for years, and then be casually discarded to be replaced with fresh engineers who don't know better. and they want you to think this has something to do with a more just and equal society.

I'm a programmer, so I know how that goes, but I think one of the important steps tech needs to take towards a saner culture is better gender balance. The current high-pay-long-hours model really encourages people to opt for the mother-stays-at-home-and-is-primary-caregiver model, even if that's not what the family wants, since it's hard for a family to say no to the extra cash, and hard for the father to pull his weight doing that many hours a week - Ditto for any same-sex couples with one worker in tech.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 3:23 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


> "Lolth only has 66 hit points regardless of whether or not she has a 3D printer."

ExCUSE me? Leaving aside the fact that she'll have cast resist cold, resist fire, shield, protection from good, and globe of invulnerability on herself by the time you show up, as well as being guarded by five giant solifugids and any spiders and demons she's summoned, her high armor class prevents most damage and she is able to heal herself at will up to thrice daily. Not to mention that she's not affected by weapons which are not magical, and cold, electrical, and gas attack forms cause only one-half damage.

That dress is a bargain even WITH the holy water vulnerability problem.
posted by kyrademon at 3:30 PM on January 7, 2015 [8 favorites]


That dress is amazing.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:42 PM on January 7, 2015


Omg imagine if the dress had neural stuff so you could control it like those kitty ears
posted by NoraReed at 4:33 PM on January 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


The spider dress is kind of a fail, though, if you're really an introvert. I rarely speak to strangers in public. But if I saw someone in that fucking awesome dress, I would feel compelled to walk over and say, "Holy shit, that's a fucking awesome dress!" Cause that's a fucking awesome dress.

I dunno, I'm pretty damn introverted, but last time I was wearing an awesome dress, I was quite pleased that someone approached me to tell me it was an awesome dress - I don't mind talking to strangers if I have something to talk about.

and the intel thing is great - thanks for posting!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:47 PM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


That dress rules.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:00 PM on January 7, 2015


Not providing links because fuck 'em, but Gamergate/KotakuInAction are really mad about this.

Actually it's about...
posted by brundlefly at 5:47 PM on January 7, 2015


That spider dress would look great on Janet Van Dyne in one of the 1960s flashbacks in the upcoming ant man movie. Some nazi bee guy or whatever attacks a celebrity party she and hank pym went to, pym has to duck into a bathroom and change, she's already wearing her supersuit and tears the bad guy up before he gets back.

She's a fashion designer, it could work.
posted by sandswipe at 6:55 PM on January 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


What the hell is wrong with the person who edited that video? Stop with all the super short jump cuts.
posted by MrBobaFett at 7:47 PM on January 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


it also smacks of self-promotion

If people promote themselves by doing something genuinely good, it's a bit hard to see what there is to complain about.
posted by yoink at 9:28 PM on January 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


I want that dress in black, with some awesome hat/blackbird nest.
posted by Oyéah at 10:41 PM on January 7, 2015


That dress is a subtle riff on the "Kerrigan, Queen of Blades" from Starcraft.
posted by Renoroc at 12:47 PM on January 8, 2015


fwiw, re: corporate social responsibility, intel is adopting a conflict-free mineral supply chain; also btw: Making It Last...
posted by kliuless at 9:33 AM on January 10, 2015


"only the paranoid survive"
posted by infini at 9:46 AM on January 10, 2015




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