I. M. Poster
January 16, 2015 10:57 AM Subscribe
Quentin Jammer (CB) was always my favorite Charger.
posted by Existential Dread at 11:03 AM on January 16, 2015
posted by Existential Dread at 11:03 AM on January 16, 2015
Eponysterical me.
posted by Schmucko at 11:05 AM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Schmucko at 11:05 AM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Robert Cashdollar, lobbyist! Dude doesn't need a business card.
posted by storybored at 11:06 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by storybored at 11:06 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Dangit.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 11:07 AM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by paper chromatographologist at 11:07 AM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Then there's E. Power Biggs (was that his real name?) who played massive Bach pieces on massive pipe organs.
posted by Schmucko at 11:08 AM on January 16, 2015
posted by Schmucko at 11:08 AM on January 16, 2015
Second try: Professor Pervo has illegal proclivities.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 11:09 AM on January 16, 2015
posted by paper chromatographologist at 11:09 AM on January 16, 2015
My therapist's last name is Bliss.
posted by eustacescrubb at 11:12 AM on January 16, 2015
posted by eustacescrubb at 11:12 AM on January 16, 2015
Shoutout to my childhood dentist, Fred Fillmore, DDS. He did.
posted by Stig at 11:16 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Stig at 11:16 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Local dentist (not mine): Dr. Pain. Also may be a supervillain.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:18 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:18 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Quentin Jammer (CB) was always my favorite Charger.
There are so many good football names out there.
Mike Quick lived up to his name as a wide receiver.
Ryan Longwell didn't have a particular knack for long kicks, but he wasn't bad at them either.
And of course there's the one-time Detroit Lions quarterback, Charles "Chuck" Long.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:18 AM on January 16, 2015
There are so many good football names out there.
Mike Quick lived up to his name as a wide receiver.
Ryan Longwell didn't have a particular knack for long kicks, but he wasn't bad at them either.
And of course there's the one-time Detroit Lions quarterback, Charles "Chuck" Long.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:18 AM on January 16, 2015
Local dentist (not mine): Dr. Pain. Also may be a supervillain.
Dr. Kill. Dr. Bill Kill. (Sadly, deceased)
He was a pediatrician.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:19 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Dr. Kill. Dr. Bill Kill. (Sadly, deceased)
He was a pediatrician.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:19 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
David Rockola founded a famous jukebox brand.
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:21 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:21 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Anthony Weiner.
I also LOLed at the lawyer mentioned in the Slate article named Sue Yoo.
posted by XMLicious at 11:22 AM on January 16, 2015
I also LOLed at the lawyer mentioned in the Slate article named Sue Yoo.
posted by XMLicious at 11:22 AM on January 16, 2015
My spouse's Victorian Literature professor: Victoria Read.
Founder and former director of the Windham Textile & History Museum: Laura Knott-Twine.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:27 AM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Founder and former director of the Windham Textile & History Museum: Laura Knott-Twine.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:27 AM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Near here in Forest Hills, NY there is the medical practice of Dr. Dilip S. Doctor, urologist, and Dr. Dipika D. Doctor, OBGYN.
posted by Jahaza at 11:30 AM on January 16, 2015
posted by Jahaza at 11:30 AM on January 16, 2015
From one FPP up: Kendrick Bangs Kellogg did indeed have intercourse with the inventor of cornflakes.
posted by XMLicious at 11:32 AM on January 16, 2015
posted by XMLicious at 11:32 AM on January 16, 2015
Heh. I just looked at the FPP link--I think I was the one who told Timothy Noah about Laura Knott-Twine in the first place back in '06.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:32 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:32 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Ollie Hoops, collegiate basketball star when I went to SMU. I don't think he ever made it to the NBA.
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:33 AM on January 16, 2015
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:33 AM on January 16, 2015
from the otherwise kind of forgettable Repossessed:
Frieda: What does the name 'Aglet' mean anyway?
Braydon: Well a long time ago 'Aglet' meant "He who puts those tiny little plastic things on shoelaces." You see, back then, a man's name was his profession.
Frieda: Oh. So a man named Fred Carpenter would build houses, and John Baker would make bread?
Braydon: Exactly.
Ned: ... So what did John Hancock do?
posted by heyitsgogi at 11:35 AM on January 16, 2015
Frieda: What does the name 'Aglet' mean anyway?
Braydon: Well a long time ago 'Aglet' meant "He who puts those tiny little plastic things on shoelaces." You see, back then, a man's name was his profession.
Frieda: Oh. So a man named Fred Carpenter would build houses, and John Baker would make bread?
Braydon: Exactly.
Ned: ... So what did John Hancock do?
posted by heyitsgogi at 11:35 AM on January 16, 2015
I knew an attorney named Richard. Richard Head.
posted by valkane at 11:39 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by valkane at 11:39 AM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
I knew an attorney named Richard. Richard Head.
We have a guy with that name in my town too. Every time I drive by his office and see his name on the window, I think, "Man, he must have had such a hard childhood. Because you know how cruel kids can be. I'll bet every single kid he knew called him Ricky. Ricky Head."
posted by jbickers at 11:48 AM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
We have a guy with that name in my town too. Every time I drive by his office and see his name on the window, I think, "Man, he must have had such a hard childhood. Because you know how cruel kids can be. I'll bet every single kid he knew called him Ricky. Ricky Head."
posted by jbickers at 11:48 AM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
I used to work with a Driller who'd lost 3 fingers in an accident involving drill pipe. His name was Hans.
posted by arcticseal at 12:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by arcticseal at 12:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
There's a Sgt Constable working for the police in Humberside. Promoted above his station, obvs.
posted by Leon at 12:20 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Leon at 12:20 PM on January 16, 2015
Raymond Dull, author of Mathematics for Engineers. I wish I could post a picture of the book spine, which makes the book look like it is called "Dull Mathematics for Engineers."
posted by ubiquity at 12:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by ubiquity at 12:21 PM on January 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
I was delivered by a Dr Botch. Everything went fine but that always amused by mother.
posted by not that girl at 12:21 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by not that girl at 12:21 PM on January 16, 2015
And of course there's Austin's renowned urologist (specializing in vasectomies, I kid you not), Dr Dick Chopp.
posted by ubiquity at 12:23 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by ubiquity at 12:23 PM on January 16, 2015
The urologist who performed my vasectomy was the locally infamous Dr. Richard Chopp. I appreciated his professionalism.
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 12:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 12:24 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
In high school I had a friend that got great tips as a caddy... Because of his last name.
It was 'Mulligan'.
posted by el io at 12:36 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
It was 'Mulligan'.
posted by el io at 12:36 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
There's a Sgt Constable working for the police in Humberside.
Meanwhile, in the next police force along, the developer who built their police HQ went for an old childhood joke when it came to street naming.
posted by ambrosen at 12:37 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Meanwhile, in the next police force along, the developer who built their police HQ went for an old childhood joke when it came to street naming.
posted by ambrosen at 12:37 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hey, I'm also a Dick Chopp alumnus! Best vasectomy ever! Have not caused pregnancies since.
posted by tippiedog at 12:45 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by tippiedog at 12:45 PM on January 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
My pharmacist is named Viral Patel.
And not aptonyms but:
I took my sick kid to see the young bespectacled , brown- clad Dr. Pepper.
And finally I know a woman named Fair.
Fair Pickel.
posted by freecellwizard at 12:47 PM on January 16, 2015
And not aptonyms but:
I took my sick kid to see the young bespectacled , brown- clad Dr. Pepper.
And finally I know a woman named Fair.
Fair Pickel.
posted by freecellwizard at 12:47 PM on January 16, 2015
I'm still kicking myself for not getting hold of a lawn sign from when a guy named Lawless ran for my hometown county's District Attorney.
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:50 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:50 PM on January 16, 2015
My eighth grade English teacher was Mr. English! The first day of school I thought it was an error on my schedule.
posted by workerant at 12:57 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by workerant at 12:57 PM on January 16, 2015
And oh yeah, a friend who owns a motorcycle shop is named Ken Wheeler.
posted by workerant at 1:04 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by workerant at 1:04 PM on January 16, 2015
Don Lenzer is a prominent documentary cinematographer.
posted by Awkward Philip at 1:22 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Awkward Philip at 1:22 PM on January 16, 2015
My orthodontist was named Mundt, which is the German word for mouth.
My dentist was Dr. Wild, and his son took over the practice (also Dr.Wild); being dentists in the 1970's they really weren't very wild.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:26 PM on January 16, 2015
My dentist was Dr. Wild, and his son took over the practice (also Dr.Wild); being dentists in the 1970's they really weren't very wild.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:26 PM on January 16, 2015
I think it's hilarious that there's a major league pitcher named Grant Balfour.
And I think it would be amazing to see him pitch against Dexter Fowler. Theoretically, the at-bat would never come to an end.
posted by Elly Vortex at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
And I think it would be amazing to see him pitch against Dexter Fowler. Theoretically, the at-bat would never come to an end.
posted by Elly Vortex at 2:12 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Dr I got a colonoscopy from: Dr Medwell; former (childhood) GP: Daniel Boone Benedict; other doc from adolescence: Edgar Allen Mitchell....
posted by dbmcd at 2:28 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by dbmcd at 2:28 PM on January 16, 2015
Someone already got Austin's Dr. Dick Chopp, which was going to be my first name.
However, there's also Austin's former mayor, and my favorite politician name ever: Will Wynn.
(And, not really nominative determinism, but I feel it's worth nothing that my wife, when she enlisted, had an honest-to-Eris Sergeant Slaughter for a drill sergeant.)
posted by jammer at 2:49 PM on January 16, 2015
However, there's also Austin's former mayor, and my favorite politician name ever: Will Wynn.
(And, not really nominative determinism, but I feel it's worth nothing that my wife, when she enlisted, had an honest-to-Eris Sergeant Slaughter for a drill sergeant.)
posted by jammer at 2:49 PM on January 16, 2015
Ned: ... So what did John Hancock do?
Sorry, I feel compelled:
You build one house, they don't call you Angus the Housebuilder.
You cook one haggis, they don't call you Angus the Haggiscooker.
But you fuck one sheep...
posted by jammer at 2:54 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Sorry, I feel compelled:
You build one house, they don't call you Angus the Housebuilder.
You cook one haggis, they don't call you Angus the Haggiscooker.
But you fuck one sheep...
posted by jammer at 2:54 PM on January 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
There's a local realtor named Barry House that I see signs for everywhere that cracks me up.
posted by mathowie at 3:15 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by mathowie at 3:15 PM on January 16, 2015
I work in IT. Once ran into a Mary Anne Butz. She was a back-end programmer.
posted by aureliobuendia at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by aureliobuendia at 4:22 PM on January 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
I was on a flight once with a flight attendant named Skye. "Yes, that is my real name," he announced to the passengers, quickly, before they could get any jokes in. "These things happen sometimes."
posted by Sibrax at 4:25 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Sibrax at 4:25 PM on January 16, 2015
My dentist for many years - Dr. Cocagne.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 4:49 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 4:49 PM on January 16, 2015
Back in the 1970's my college professor father had a femal student whose surname was Hooker. Her parents, who could not have been on crack because it hadn't been invented yet when she was born, had named her Ima.
posted by localroger at 4:54 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by localroger at 4:54 PM on January 16, 2015
I think it's hilarious that there's a major league pitcher named Grant Balfour.
A natural heir to the throne of Bob Walk.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 4:56 PM on January 16, 2015
A natural heir to the throne of Bob Walk.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 4:56 PM on January 16, 2015
I'm surprised there's no mention of the former RHD Memorial Hospital in Dallas, whose initials stood for Richard H. Dedman.
posted by romakimmy at 6:27 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by romakimmy at 6:27 PM on January 16, 2015
One of my adolescent orthopedic surgeons was Dr. Crutchlow.
posted by Dreidl at 6:55 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by Dreidl at 6:55 PM on January 16, 2015
Gene Weingarten has been all over this sort of thing for years in online chats.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:04 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:04 PM on January 16, 2015
What, no Dr. Zizmor?
(I don't know how he pronounces it, but I've heard people say it as "zits more.")
posted by Leatherstocking at 7:09 PM on January 16, 2015
(I don't know how he pronounces it, but I've heard people say it as "zits more.")
posted by Leatherstocking at 7:09 PM on January 16, 2015
I once had a therapist named Dr. Sulkin and a mortgage broker with the last name Hartsell ('hard sell' or 'heart sell', take your pick).
posted by SafetyPirate at 7:59 PM on January 16, 2015
posted by SafetyPirate at 7:59 PM on January 16, 2015
I've had blood drawn by Dr Leach. And I work with a certain fulltime employee U. Contractor.
With my surname of Doar I've considered carpentry as an appropriate career.
posted by mdoar at 8:47 PM on January 16, 2015
With my surname of Doar I've considered carpentry as an appropriate career.
posted by mdoar at 8:47 PM on January 16, 2015
My high school's librarian was Mr. Story.
And let us remember a fellow from Canada, one Donald Popadick, who was once arrested on indecent exposure charges.
posted by bryon at 9:18 PM on January 16, 2015
And let us remember a fellow from Canada, one Donald Popadick, who was once arrested on indecent exposure charges.
posted by bryon at 9:18 PM on January 16, 2015
I work with a guy called Swindler ("as in 'crook,'" he says on the phone when asked his surname).
Yes, of course he's in sales.
posted by ostranenie at 4:34 AM on January 17, 2015
Yes, of course he's in sales.
posted by ostranenie at 4:34 AM on January 17, 2015
Madison has a Dr. Docter. (He's related to family acquaintances; I've wondered whether screenwriter Pete Docter is part of the extended clan.)
posted by dhartung at 3:43 PM on January 17, 2015
posted by dhartung at 3:43 PM on January 17, 2015
TIL that Randy Cross is the superintendent of the Prairie Hills District of The United Methodist Church in the Dakotas Annual Conference. He also writes Christian study literature.
posted by bryon at 6:47 PM on January 17, 2015
posted by bryon at 6:47 PM on January 17, 2015
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posted by jozxyqk at 11:01 AM on January 16, 2015 [6 favorites]