“Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.”

January 19, 2015 7:18 AM

“Murakami-san no tokoro” or “Mr. Murakami’s place”: [Japanese] an agony uncle column by Japanese writer Haruki Murakami.

The publicity-shy writer will pen answers to queries, offering his opinions and advice on how to tackle all manner of difficulties, said Shinchosha Publishing. “He will receive questions of any kind,” a company spokesman said, adding that he will answer queries written in a variety of languages.

Readers are invited to post questions or “little somethings” they want to share with the author. No subject is taboo, although messages should contain a maximum of 1,200 characters. [The Guardian]

The site is in Japanese, but here is an English translation of the application form.

posted by Fizz (14 comments total)

English translation of (some?) questions and answers can be found here.
posted by Kosmob0t at 7:32 AM on January 19, 2015 [3 favorites]

My favourite bit from the Guardian article:

"In response to a 49-year-old woman born on the same date as the novelist – 12 January – he points out that they share a birthday with the author Jack London, but also with the Nazi second-in-command Hermann Göring.

“That’s a bit of a problem,” he said. “But it turns out that after the allies arrested the most senior Nazis after the war, Göring performed best at a kind of intelligence test. Maybe that was down to his date of birth.” Murakami went on to say he celebrated his birthday with a visit to a restaurant, where he ate a “seafood tower”: a stack of delicacies comprising shrimp, lobster, oysters, mussels, sashimi and octopus. “It was incredible,” he said."

posted by Fizz at 7:33 AM on January 19, 2015

I like this one, from the unofficial translation site. "Killing time is a talent. Some people have it, some don’t. If you know you don’t have that talent, you should make yourself as busy with work as you can."
posted by BibiRose at 7:44 AM on January 19, 2015 [8 favorites]

I’m sorry, but I really don’t have the authority to talk about other people’s libido. I hardly even understand my own. Forgive me, but you’ll have to handle this one on your own.

Haruki Murakami

Amen, my brother.
posted by Splunge at 8:12 AM on January 19, 2015 [14 favorites]

“Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.”
So he's just ripping off Frank Zappa for his advice column? Nice work if you can get it.
posted by thelonius at 8:24 AM on January 19, 2015

Killing time is a talent. Some people have it

And how!
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 8:24 AM on January 19, 2015 [1 favorite]

“Don't feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.”
So he's just ripping off Frank Zappa for his advice column? Nice work if you can get it.
posted by thelonius at 11:24 AM on January 19 [+] [!]

The asshole quote is from his first book "Norwegian Wood". It seemed thematically appropriate for this post.
posted by Fizz at 8:29 AM on January 19, 2015 [3 favorites]

I hope you’ll pardon me for saying so, but I think belching is far better than farting. Perhaps you should think of it that way.

Them's Fightin words!
posted by srboisvert at 8:39 AM on January 19, 2015

Fizz - I am thinking of "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes" probably NSFW of course
posted by thelonius at 9:24 AM on January 19, 2015 [1 favorite]

thelonius, that makes sense actually because now that I reflect back on my reading of Norwegian Wood, it's very much about music and relationships. Probably an intentional reference and one I wouldn't put past Murakami.
posted by Fizz at 10:00 AM on January 19, 2015 [2 favorites]

Mr. Murakami:

What the hell happened to you at Princeton? I was horrified to read your essay "Umeboshi," (Translated into English as No Bringing in a Japanese Lunch). Did you really intend to justify racism? Do you seriously believe that your experiences in Japan, as a Japanese citizen, when you were discriminated against by real estate agents, is equivalent to the racism against gaijin in Japan, or Japanese in America?
posted by charlie don't surf at 11:59 AM on January 19, 2015

I don't think he thinks and says that it's equivalent, I think he thinks and says that it sucks to be discriminated against.
posted by oceanjesse at 1:58 PM on January 19, 2015

"Compared with the unforgivingly severe history of racism against foreigners or non-Japanese in Japan, the discrimination that I experienced might not be even worth telling, but it is nothing but discrimination after all. You will not figure out how the discrimination is until you stand on the side of the discriminated. "
posted by thelonius at 2:19 PM on January 19, 2015

The Guardian has been translating and providing random updates:

Vivian writes:

Dear Murakami San,
Thank you for taking time to review my questions. My apology for unable to write in Japanese.
Do you think cats can understand how humans feel?　My cat Bobo ran away when　she saw me crying.　At that time I feel like being left out by the entire world. Or they(cats) just wouldn't　care less?
Thank you, again, for all your words!

Murakami responds:

I suspect that either you or your cat is extremely sensitive. I have had many cats, but no cat has ever been so sympathetic. They were just as egoistic as they could be.

posted by Fizz at 6:13 AM on January 20, 2015