The mating call of Mustang
January 21, 2015 7:55 PM Subscribe
VROOM! The “aural experience” of a car, they argue, is an intangible that’s just as priceless as what’s revving under the hood.
Speaking as someone who lives near a main road: I hope the implementers of these systems die in a fire.
posted by pompomtom at 8:10 PM on January 21, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by pompomtom at 8:10 PM on January 21, 2015 [7 favorites]
These systems generally increase the noise only inside the car's cabin. Except for the electric cars at low speed for the blind. You should be happy about this, the carmakers are REDUCING the overall noise made by cars, which is why they're faking it through the stereo.
posted by hwyengr at 8:12 PM on January 21, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by hwyengr at 8:12 PM on January 21, 2015 [4 favorites]
...then carry on. Listen to whatever awful noise you want inside your car.
posted by pompomtom at 8:13 PM on January 21, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by pompomtom at 8:13 PM on January 21, 2015 [5 favorites]
I recently upgraded my audio recording equipment, and it's pretty amazing the lengths one needs to go to in order to not pick up the sound of automobiles.
The idea that people would want their cars to be louder (from the inside, or to nearby people not in cars) is absurd to me. I mean I understand that it is a safety issue, but selfishly I would rather have to double check for quiet cars rather than hear cars, if I had the choice.
posted by idiopath at 8:19 PM on January 21, 2015
The idea that people would want their cars to be louder (from the inside, or to nearby people not in cars) is absurd to me. I mean I understand that it is a safety issue, but selfishly I would rather have to double check for quiet cars rather than hear cars, if I had the choice.
posted by idiopath at 8:19 PM on January 21, 2015
And I play my near-perfect Chinese Telecaster through a DSP programmed to sound like a stressed-out vacuum tube. The world is becoming a giant Holodeck.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:22 PM on January 21, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:22 PM on January 21, 2015 [8 favorites]
Trucknutz for the ears.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:23 PM on January 21, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by benito.strauss at 8:23 PM on January 21, 2015 [16 favorites]
"I didn't ask to be teabagged by your acoustic trucknutz, douchebag"
posted by idiopath at 8:25 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by idiopath at 8:25 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]
I've been thinking that there is an untapped market along these lines. You could sample engine and road noise from classic and exotic cars to pipe in on your speakers. What if at the push of a button you could make your brand new F150 sound like your very first truck from 1964 that you fell in love with? What if you could make your Honda Civic sound like a Porsche when you drive the kids to daycare? I'd love to make my ride sound like my my old beater Jeep from 15 years ago at least once in a while.
posted by peeedro at 8:27 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by peeedro at 8:27 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]
...then carry on. Listen to whatever awful noise you want inside your car.
Nazareth and Grand Funk on the 8-track it is, then!
I continue to be mystified by gearhead drag race fan friends of mine who still lament the impending demise of the internal combustion engine at the hands of Al Gore and when I point out that the awesome torque of electric motors will make for dragsters that blow everything else away say "but they won't sound right". What is the point; faster or louder?
(Although I have to admit, seeing/hearing/feeling a vehicle fueled by nitromethane leave the starting line is pretty awesome)
posted by TedW at 8:30 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
Nazareth and Grand Funk on the 8-track it is, then!
I continue to be mystified by gearhead drag race fan friends of mine who still lament the impending demise of the internal combustion engine at the hands of Al Gore and when I point out that the awesome torque of electric motors will make for dragsters that blow everything else away say "but they won't sound right". What is the point; faster or louder?
(Although I have to admit, seeing/hearing/feeling a vehicle fueled by nitromethane leave the starting line is pretty awesome)
posted by TedW at 8:30 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
Have none of you ever driven a proper sports car? A Ferrari or a Porsche or even a Corvette Z06? The sound is thrilling and is part of what makes those cars special. It's a huge part of the driving experience.
posted by indubitable at 8:31 PM on January 21, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by indubitable at 8:31 PM on January 21, 2015 [6 favorites]
Let us never forget the great hack of 2025 where someone reprogrammed all the Harleys to sound like farts.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:34 PM on January 21, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:34 PM on January 21, 2015 [7 favorites]
And amazingly, they went back in time, and retroactively made Harleys sound like flatulence, and somehow we lost track of the joke.
posted by idiopath at 8:35 PM on January 21, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by idiopath at 8:35 PM on January 21, 2015 [8 favorites]
The world is becoming a giant Holodeck.
Big day for Holodecks, I guess.
posted by neckro23 at 8:39 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
Big day for Holodecks, I guess.
posted by neckro23 at 8:39 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
“You’re fabricating the car’s sexiness. You’re fabricating performance elements of the car that don’t actually exist. That just feels deceptive to me.”You could say the same about a zillion automobile design and styling choices, though: scoops, louvers, and vents that don't go anywhere, grilles that don't do anything, spoilers, racing stripes, alloy wheels, much of the "real" exhaust noise that was the result of tuning and tweaking, alphabet soup badges, etc.
Style instead of substance has infamously been an important part of industrial consumerism (not just in automobiles) since the start. And the relatively modern product design trend of considering the user experience as a whole, in insufferable detail, has in other circles been celebrated. (How do you like your iPhone, Mr. Brauer?)
On the other hand it looks like our family car probably has one of these gadgets. I didn't know. I read the maker had stopped adding artificial noisiness in model year X-1, but it looks like they just changed strategies for model year X, and there's some newfangled doohickey in there somewhere. And I am a little miffed. I'd rather have the money it cost to make that junk than that junk.
posted by Western Infidels at 8:40 PM on January 21, 2015 [6 favorites]
You could say the same about a zillion automobile design and styling choices, though: scoops, louvers, and vents that don't go anywhere, grilles that don't do anything, spoilers, racing stripes, alloy wheels, much of the "real" exhaust noise that was the result of tuning and tweaking, alphabet soup badges, etc.
Yeah... most people mock those things too.
posted by pompomtom at 8:41 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yeah... most people mock those things too.
posted by pompomtom at 8:41 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
I have to note that the Jaguar F-Type has a button that basically makes the car sound more awesome.
posted by eriko at 8:43 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by eriko at 8:43 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
Have none of you ever driven a proper sports car? A Ferrari or a Porsche or even a Corvette Z06? The sound is thrilling and is part of what makes those cars special. It's a huge part of the driving experience.
I thought a proper sports car had a canvas top, Lucas "electrics", nothing but wind noise over 40 mph, and was painted green. What you describe from the continent and the colonies are more exotic are they not?
posted by TedW at 8:43 PM on January 21, 2015 [11 favorites]
I thought a proper sports car had a canvas top, Lucas "electrics", nothing but wind noise over 40 mph, and was painted green. What you describe from the continent and the colonies are more exotic are they not?
posted by TedW at 8:43 PM on January 21, 2015 [11 favorites]
Have none of you ever driven a proper sports car? A Ferrari or a Porsche or even a Corvette Z06?
Personally, I compensate for my large penis by driving slow cars.
I had known about fake amplification of engine noise, but I wasn't aware they were faking the noises of entirely different types of engines. That is kind of sad, really.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:45 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
Personally, I compensate for my large penis by driving slow cars.
I had known about fake amplification of engine noise, but I wasn't aware they were faking the noises of entirely different types of engines. That is kind of sad, really.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:45 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
If we're going old school, I want my car to sound like a horse. Giddyup!
/clipclop
posted by arcticseal at 8:48 PM on January 21, 2015 [5 favorites]
/clipclop
posted by arcticseal at 8:48 PM on January 21, 2015 [5 favorites]
Can they do anything about the road noise on new long-life all-season tires? On the one hand, 60k warranty! On the other, over wet asphalt, it's like a white noise generator cranked up to 11. I couldn't hear any damn fake V8 noise if they wanted me to.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:57 PM on January 21, 2015
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:57 PM on January 21, 2015
Having just mocked this, though, I'll be honest and confess that most of the reason why I am happy that my new work truck is going to be a diesel is because diesels sound better, even the super quiet new ones. If I was a car company, I'd be surveying focus groups and piping in engine Muzak if it made people want to buy.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:03 PM on January 21, 2015
posted by Dip Flash at 9:03 PM on January 21, 2015
Does it matter if the sound is fake? A driver who didn’t know the difference might enjoy the thrum and thunder of it nonetheless. Is taking the best part of an eight-cylinder rev and cloaking a better engine with it really, for carmakers, so wrong?
Of course it matters. The cynical side of me suspects they are also adding these noises because the mechanical components have got so quiet people can hear all the other noises the engine used to drown out and it's cheaper to develop a soundtrack than do all the noise reduction engineering.
The sound is thrilling and is part of what makes those cars special. It's a huge part of the driving experience.
It sure is (ignoring the claim that a Corvette of any stripe is a 'sports car'), but it's part of the driving experience because it signifies the power and engineering refinement of the car. If it was just the noise people were after, car sound tracks would be constantly at the top of the top 40.
when I point out that the awesome torque of electric motors will make for dragsters that blow everything else away say "but they won't sound right".
I'm involved in a branch of motorsport that banned turbocharged engines in the (arguably) top category and remain convinced that there are only two reasons for this - partly because they were beating the pants off more traditional technology and because of the belief nobody wants to hear the relatively quiet whistle of a twin-turbo engine when they can listen to an 8+ litre big block V8 with a psi blower doing 10,000 RPM while it sucks down 20+ litres of methanol fuel a minute. Of course, they might be right. No matter how fast they go, electric dragsters are never going to pull crowds the way the nitro-burners do.
posted by dg at 9:03 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
Of course it matters. The cynical side of me suspects they are also adding these noises because the mechanical components have got so quiet people can hear all the other noises the engine used to drown out and it's cheaper to develop a soundtrack than do all the noise reduction engineering.
The sound is thrilling and is part of what makes those cars special. It's a huge part of the driving experience.
It sure is (ignoring the claim that a Corvette of any stripe is a 'sports car'), but it's part of the driving experience because it signifies the power and engineering refinement of the car. If it was just the noise people were after, car sound tracks would be constantly at the top of the top 40.
when I point out that the awesome torque of electric motors will make for dragsters that blow everything else away say "but they won't sound right".
I'm involved in a branch of motorsport that banned turbocharged engines in the (arguably) top category and remain convinced that there are only two reasons for this - partly because they were beating the pants off more traditional technology and because of the belief nobody wants to hear the relatively quiet whistle of a twin-turbo engine when they can listen to an 8+ litre big block V8 with a psi blower doing 10,000 RPM while it sucks down 20+ litres of methanol fuel a minute. Of course, they might be right. No matter how fast they go, electric dragsters are never going to pull crowds the way the nitro-burners do.
posted by dg at 9:03 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
If we're going old school, I want my car to sound like a horse. Giddyup!
Spot the nouveau riche. I'll take the slap of bare feet on stone, the groaning of the bearers, and the swish-crack! of the lash as I'm conveyed to my barge thank you very much.
posted by um at 9:08 PM on January 21, 2015 [4 favorites]
Spot the nouveau riche. I'll take the slap of bare feet on stone, the groaning of the bearers, and the swish-crack! of the lash as I'm conveyed to my barge thank you very much.
posted by um at 9:08 PM on January 21, 2015 [4 favorites]
We disconnected this in our new VW GTI. They (VW) call it a soundaktor. Apparently, lots of people in the VW vortex forums hate them, and have disconnected them.
posted by annsunny at 9:12 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by annsunny at 9:12 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
The secret is to buy a new exhaust system. Here's what a Mercedes S600 sedan sounds like when you add equal length headers.
posted by hellojed at 9:12 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by hellojed at 9:12 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
You wanna talk sexy car sounds, let's discuss the deep understated muscle of the E-type Jag at 0:48-0:55 of this video!
I've always preferred a subtle rumble over a conspicuous in-your-face roar - not least because it's less likely to attract the attention of cops - but maybe that's just me.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:17 PM on January 21, 2015
I've always preferred a subtle rumble over a conspicuous in-your-face roar - not least because it's less likely to attract the attention of cops - but maybe that's just me.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:17 PM on January 21, 2015
This is absolutely pathetic. You could spend a billion dollars trying to produce a 2016 Mustang and it will never come close to the sound of my old '65 Mustang GT convertible with dual exhaust. If you could, it wouldn't be street legal under modern auto safety regulations.
When I got my GT and started restoring it, I found that the previous owner put in glass pack mufflers which sounded stupid. I ripped em out and put it back to absolutely stock factory exhaust system. My friends said they could hear the distinctive sound of my car from blocks away. And oh the road sound.. one of my greatest pleasures was dropping the convertible top, then zooming down the few remaining brick roads in my town. You cannot emulate the song of tires rumbling over cobblestones by pumping fake sounds through a speaker inside the car.
Unfortunately, you can't even duplicate those sounds today if you could find a '65 Mustang GT convertible and restore it. A restoring a 50 year old car is just not going to come close to the results I got in 1975 restoring a 1965 car.. Even Carroll Shelby says it couldn't be done, he tried to find old '65 Mustangs and remanufacture them as new Shelby GTs. He gave up because no matter how much work he put into them, they were still old used cars.
posted by charlie don't surf at 9:18 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
When I got my GT and started restoring it, I found that the previous owner put in glass pack mufflers which sounded stupid. I ripped em out and put it back to absolutely stock factory exhaust system. My friends said they could hear the distinctive sound of my car from blocks away. And oh the road sound.. one of my greatest pleasures was dropping the convertible top, then zooming down the few remaining brick roads in my town. You cannot emulate the song of tires rumbling over cobblestones by pumping fake sounds through a speaker inside the car.
Unfortunately, you can't even duplicate those sounds today if you could find a '65 Mustang GT convertible and restore it. A restoring a 50 year old car is just not going to come close to the results I got in 1975 restoring a 1965 car.. Even Carroll Shelby says it couldn't be done, he tried to find old '65 Mustangs and remanufacture them as new Shelby GTs. He gave up because no matter how much work he put into them, they were still old used cars.
posted by charlie don't surf at 9:18 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]
Hmph, none of them have the satisfying roarmble of the Panzerkampfwagen Tiger Ausf. B.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 9:37 PM on January 21, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 9:37 PM on January 21, 2015 [5 favorites]
You wanna talk sexy car sounds, let's discuss the deep understated muscle of the E-type Jag at 0:48-0:55 of this video!
That video disgusts me. Not only did they show a 65 Mustang with the pathetically weak sound of the low end 289 engine with mere dual carbs and single exhaust, the video is an outrage because the cars are standing still. It sounds like a bunch of idiots revving their engines at a stop light. What is the point of showing us how the engine sounds when it is standing still? Let us hear how they sound at 120MPH.
Like this.
posted by charlie don't surf at 9:41 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
That video disgusts me. Not only did they show a 65 Mustang with the pathetically weak sound of the low end 289 engine with mere dual carbs and single exhaust, the video is an outrage because the cars are standing still. It sounds like a bunch of idiots revving their engines at a stop light. What is the point of showing us how the engine sounds when it is standing still? Let us hear how they sound at 120MPH.
Like this.
posted by charlie don't surf at 9:41 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh, yeah, I remember (somehow) this movie with Kevin James as an engineer working on the technology...
MagnaFlow mufflers are what's best in life for me. At least the couple I've experienced, they have nice distinctive rumbles and are sometimes used as un-branded OEM mufflers...they are very idle-friendly for your neighbors and residential areas in my experience with an I4 DOHC / 2.5L @ 175 ft-lb of torque and a V6 3.0L SOHC @ 150 ft-lb (1990's Dodge Daytona) engine that a friend of mine had at one point.
The MagnaFlow is fine for residential streets and such, it has a high-pass filter effect where a revving motor just never seems to "cut" into your ears and make them want to bleed like you'll get with intentionally noisy setups. Then, they get super throaty and tastefully "race-y" once you open up past "average driver" levels of acceleration.
posted by aydeejones at 10:07 PM on January 21, 2015
MagnaFlow mufflers are what's best in life for me. At least the couple I've experienced, they have nice distinctive rumbles and are sometimes used as un-branded OEM mufflers...they are very idle-friendly for your neighbors and residential areas in my experience with an I4 DOHC / 2.5L @ 175 ft-lb of torque and a V6 3.0L SOHC @ 150 ft-lb (1990's Dodge Daytona) engine that a friend of mine had at one point.
The MagnaFlow is fine for residential streets and such, it has a high-pass filter effect where a revving motor just never seems to "cut" into your ears and make them want to bleed like you'll get with intentionally noisy setups. Then, they get super throaty and tastefully "race-y" once you open up past "average driver" levels of acceleration.
posted by aydeejones at 10:07 PM on January 21, 2015
It sure is (ignoring the claim that a Corvette of any stripe is a 'sports car')
They dont get exported to Australia, so this attitude is not surprising.
[I]t's part of the driving experience because it signifies the power and engineering refinement of the car. If it was just the noise people were after, car sound tracks would be constantly at the top of the top 40.
Eh. Maybe I'm the only one who gets goosebumps from Ferrari F40s getting run through their paces on YouTube.
posted by indubitable at 10:12 PM on January 21, 2015
They dont get exported to Australia, so this attitude is not surprising.
[I]t's part of the driving experience because it signifies the power and engineering refinement of the car. If it was just the noise people were after, car sound tracks would be constantly at the top of the top 40.
Eh. Maybe I'm the only one who gets goosebumps from Ferrari F40s getting run through their paces on YouTube.
posted by indubitable at 10:12 PM on January 21, 2015
My new GTI does this. The Sport button basically pipes in more motor noise and gooses the throttle a bit. (It does more stuff on the auto tranny models.) Here's the thing. Tuners, the kind of people who care too much about car sounds and performance and all the rest, go out of their way to disable the extra in cabin growl. Cause that's for the squares who don't know any better. (The tool they use is called VAGcom, which is a software package and cable that allows all sorts of customizations to the car, which is super geeky, and not gearheady, as one might expect.)
My wife's Porsche has the same button.
posted by notyou at 10:39 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
My wife's Porsche has the same button.
posted by notyou at 10:39 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
>It sure is (ignoring the claim that a Corvette of any stripe is a 'sports car')
They dont get exported to Australia, so this attitude is not surprising.
Don't be ridiculous, of course they export Vettes to Oz.
posted by charlie don't surf at 11:07 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
They dont get exported to Australia, so this attitude is not surprising.
Don't be ridiculous, of course they export Vettes to Oz.
posted by charlie don't surf at 11:07 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]
Maybe I'm the only one who gets goosebumps from Ferrari F40s getting run through their paces on YouTube.
No, I'm right there with you. But it's more than just the noise I like - it's what that noise represents in engineering excellence and performance potential. Youtube is nothing like the real thing but, like almost everyone, my chances of hearing cars like that up close when doing other than trundling through the city are next to none, so I have to settle for what I can get. If it was just 'here's some car sounds we made in a studio' it would have no attraction to me.
What is the point of showing us how the engine sounds when it is standing still? Let us hear how they sound at 120MPH.
Here's a bit of both, from a production car which is unfortunately the last in a long line of performance sedans built by Ford Australia. Background.
posted by dg at 12:08 AM on January 22, 2015
No, I'm right there with you. But it's more than just the noise I like - it's what that noise represents in engineering excellence and performance potential. Youtube is nothing like the real thing but, like almost everyone, my chances of hearing cars like that up close when doing other than trundling through the city are next to none, so I have to settle for what I can get. If it was just 'here's some car sounds we made in a studio' it would have no attraction to me.
What is the point of showing us how the engine sounds when it is standing still? Let us hear how they sound at 120MPH.
Here's a bit of both, from a production car which is unfortunately the last in a long line of performance sedans built by Ford Australia. Background.
posted by dg at 12:08 AM on January 22, 2015
this is some embarrassing man-baby nonsense. people wont buy a car unless it goes VROOM VROOM VROOOOM. "now with Realistic Engine Noises! Sounds just like your daddy's outdated image of masculinity!" SMH this is why the human race never gets anywhere fast.
here is a tesla obliterating the mustang hellcat in a drag race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG6veF_34QE
posted by young_son at 12:38 AM on January 22, 2015 [8 favorites]
here is a tesla obliterating the mustang hellcat in a drag race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG6veF_34QE
posted by young_son at 12:38 AM on January 22, 2015 [8 favorites]
Although the concept is hideously 'inauthentic' I can't get too worked up about this. Cars are engineered for quietness and refinement yet one of the 'marks' of a sporting car is the sound that it makes. It's a cultural thing and as the article notes it's central to how these manufacturers sell their cars. It'll change, for sure - Tesla is going some way to changing that - just as V8s and V12 engines will eventually go the way of the dinosaurs. But the cultural associations are hard to shed quickly. Even the BMW i8, one of the most advanced cars you can buy, pipes in an 'enhanced' engine sound to supplement the fact that you're driving a £100k hybrid 'supercar' with a MINI engine. Without it the car presumably wouldn't command its 'premium' feel.
Cars are funny little self-contained eco-systems, and what sounds great to a driver is usually incredibly anti-social to everyone else. I think manufacturers are aware of this, so these systems are about having your cake and eating it. The 'Sport' button on a whole variety of performance cars not only sharpens up throttle and gearbox response but also opens a valve (or a circuit) to make the engine and exhaust a bit snarlier. The latter is pure display, unnecessary, for sure, but no more unnecessary than the existence of the sports car in the first place.
posted by srednivashtar at 1:11 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Cars are funny little self-contained eco-systems, and what sounds great to a driver is usually incredibly anti-social to everyone else. I think manufacturers are aware of this, so these systems are about having your cake and eating it. The 'Sport' button on a whole variety of performance cars not only sharpens up throttle and gearbox response but also opens a valve (or a circuit) to make the engine and exhaust a bit snarlier. The latter is pure display, unnecessary, for sure, but no more unnecessary than the existence of the sports car in the first place.
posted by srednivashtar at 1:11 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Back in 1992 I bought a copy of Car & Driver that had an advert for a system that did this - you could be driving a 4-cyl shitbox and it played back your choice of auditory hallucination, from Ferrari V12 through to giant truck engine. It seemed like the car equivalent of a Swedish penis enlargemer at the time.
I find happiness in knowing that the engine is still running in my cheap used car. It has a cassette player. I have one cassette. I found it in my house. It appears to be the previous occupant and his wife drunkenly recording themselves singing to jazz songs. It's funny, but it's not good.
posted by longbaugh at 1:24 AM on January 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
I find happiness in knowing that the engine is still running in my cheap used car. It has a cassette player. I have one cassette. I found it in my house. It appears to be the previous occupant and his wife drunkenly recording themselves singing to jazz songs. It's funny, but it's not good.
posted by longbaugh at 1:24 AM on January 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
When I was a kid, we used to use clothes pins to attach old playing cards to our bikes. They would slap the spokes as we rode, sounded like a motorcycle (well, to us it did). Sort of the same thing, eh?
I went on to spend my youth in an MG-A with Abarth exhaust... the final iteration of my engine noise cycle was a Harley Sportster...
Good Times... Vroom, Vroom...
posted by HuronBob at 2:45 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I went on to spend my youth in an MG-A with Abarth exhaust... the final iteration of my engine noise cycle was a Harley Sportster...
Good Times... Vroom, Vroom...
posted by HuronBob at 2:45 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
My car has this feature. Apparently there is a bug in the software that controls it though because whenever I hear the noise, the Check Engine light comes on.
So annoying.
posted by chillmost at 3:39 AM on January 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
So annoying.
posted by chillmost at 3:39 AM on January 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Anyone who has attended any sort of auto race is familiar with the feeling that stirs when a group of engines rev up, particularly from a rolling start. Attendees sure as heck aren't getting excited for the command for "Drivers, start your engines!" because they really love listening to sweet melodic tones coming from the marketing manager of the race sponsor. It's perhaps fitting that something that wakes such a primal feeling is fueled by substances dating back to the beginning of nature.
posted by dances with hamsters at 4:41 AM on January 22, 2015
posted by dances with hamsters at 4:41 AM on January 22, 2015
There's a Harley rider in my neighborhood. I also have a close friend who lives on a very busy primary road that is a feeder to a north/south highway that leads to New Hampshire, land of the helmetless because "common sense for all" or some such utter nonsense. As a result she gets a crapton of flatulent dentist-grade Harleys at all hours of the day and night. Fortunately her two year old seems oblivious to them, but all those low-grade morons can wrap themselves around a fire hydrant as far as I'm concerned. Fuck loud pipes.
That said, this always leaves me feeling a bit swoony. So does this. And this. ICE noise is an integral part of the motorsport experience, but it's a shame that some people think that experience needs to be shared with everyone in a half-mile radius, 24/7/365.
posted by the painkiller at 4:44 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
That said, this always leaves me feeling a bit swoony. So does this. And this. ICE noise is an integral part of the motorsport experience, but it's a shame that some people think that experience needs to be shared with everyone in a half-mile radius, 24/7/365.
posted by the painkiller at 4:44 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I will hold out for the car that makes the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin at full throttle.
Yes, engines = penis substitute, that being said.....still. Its hard to argue with the arousing factor on the V12 in flight.
slyt Spitfire Merlin start up and fly by
posted by C.A.S. at 5:04 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yes, engines = penis substitute, that being said.....still. Its hard to argue with the arousing factor on the V12 in flight.
slyt Spitfire Merlin start up and fly by
posted by C.A.S. at 5:04 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
the painkiller, can the dentists and accountants and whatnot wrap themselves around something other than fire hydrants, so my guys have somewhere to lay out from? Perhaps bridge abutments?
Way back when I was an undergrad there was a jackass in the next apartment complex over who had glasspacks on his crappy pickup, and he would sit in the parking lot and rev the motor on the damned thing at 7 o'clock on Saturday mornings. I hope he drove himself deaf.
posted by wintermind at 5:04 AM on January 22, 2015
Way back when I was an undergrad there was a jackass in the next apartment complex over who had glasspacks on his crappy pickup, and he would sit in the parking lot and rev the motor on the damned thing at 7 o'clock on Saturday mornings. I hope he drove himself deaf.
posted by wintermind at 5:04 AM on January 22, 2015
I was chatting to a London taxi driver the other day who found and restored a R-R Merlin engine the other day. Fascinating conversation, covering the merits of V versus radials, supercharging and water/ethanol WEP systems etc. I had a great 40 minute conversation about WWII fighter engines until my boss told me to finish the conversation and get on with some work. Rotten bastards.
posted by longbaugh at 5:32 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by longbaugh at 5:32 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I still have my revving motorcycle grip from when I was a kid, though I don't rev it up at night due to the neighbors.
posted by orme at 5:37 AM on January 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by orme at 5:37 AM on January 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
(incidentally there is a Bentley with a Merlin engine).
posted by longbaugh at 5:39 AM on January 22, 2015
posted by longbaugh at 5:39 AM on January 22, 2015
If we're going old school, I want my car to sound like a horse. Giddyup!
/clipclop
posted by arcticseal at 2:18 PM on January 22 [3 favorites +] [!]
See, you were joking, but the more I think about this, the funnier it gets and I sincerely want it.
Just imagine. 30kph (I have no idea what that is in your heathen miles) - a calm and dignified walk. 60kph - a gentle trot! When we get to 80kph, the sound gradually gets faster until we have arrived at a steady and sustained canter.
Then we get to 90+kph and embark on FLAT-OUT JOHN WAYNE WILD WEST GALLOPING. And it must have an automated high-pitched whinny for whenever you slam on the brakes.
As happens so often, i'm forced to wonder why I don't live in the alternate universe where I can have this.
posted by pseudonymph at 5:40 AM on January 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
/clipclop
posted by arcticseal at 2:18 PM on January 22 [3 favorites +] [!]
See, you were joking, but the more I think about this, the funnier it gets and I sincerely want it.
Just imagine. 30kph (I have no idea what that is in your heathen miles) - a calm and dignified walk. 60kph - a gentle trot! When we get to 80kph, the sound gradually gets faster until we have arrived at a steady and sustained canter.
Then we get to 90+kph and embark on FLAT-OUT JOHN WAYNE WILD WEST GALLOPING. And it must have an automated high-pitched whinny for whenever you slam on the brakes.
As happens so often, i'm forced to wonder why I don't live in the alternate universe where I can have this.
posted by pseudonymph at 5:40 AM on January 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
Remember the chase scene from Bullitt? (Of course you do.) It's preceded by a low speed cat-and-mouse, where the score provides musical cues that Something Is Going On.
The very very best part is when the bad guy drops the hammer and the score shuts the fuck up and steps aside for the glorious sound of American muscle tearing around SF.
posted by whuppy at 6:00 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
The very very best part is when the bad guy drops the hammer and the score shuts the fuck up and steps aside for the glorious sound of American muscle tearing around SF.
posted by whuppy at 6:00 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
here is a tesla obliterating the mustang hellcat in a drag race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG6veF_34QE
The timing on this is funny, because I was just sitting with a coworker watching that video yesterday and commenting on how weird the experience of an all electric car race would be, because it would be so quiet: 43 Tesla's zipping around a NASCAR track to the background of a quiet whirring. Would people come? I think there's a good chance they wouldn't. Would they pipe in car noise? Would they pipe in music?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:04 AM on January 22, 2015
The timing on this is funny, because I was just sitting with a coworker watching that video yesterday and commenting on how weird the experience of an all electric car race would be, because it would be so quiet: 43 Tesla's zipping around a NASCAR track to the background of a quiet whirring. Would people come? I think there's a good chance they wouldn't. Would they pipe in car noise? Would they pipe in music?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:04 AM on January 22, 2015
Dad's face says it all.
posted by sacramental excrementum at 6:15 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by sacramental excrementum at 6:15 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
this is some embarrassing man-baby nonsense. people wont buy a car unless it goes VROOM VROOM VROOOOM. "now with Realistic Engine Noises! Sounds just like your daddy's outdated image of masculinity!" SMH this is why the human race never gets anywhere fast.
here is a tesla obliterating the mustang hellcat in a drag race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG6veF_34QE
I know it's just so terribly beneath you to know what the car is, but it's a Dodge Challenger, not a Ford Mustang.
That's a Tesla obliterating a bad driver in a drag race. Note the ridiculous amount of wheel spin as the Challenger flails about. That's someone who just plain doesn't know how to launch their car.
Not to take anything away from the Tesla, but with electric motors and AWD, your grandma could launch it and get 11s all day long. It's computer controlled everything.
The Hellcat is an unapologetic beast that takes some skill to launch. Done properly, they can break into 10s times.
I grew up with a car guy dad and Hot Wheels. There's a visceral sensation to a deep V-8 rumble. Feeling the engine's sound in your chest as the car shoves you forward is thrilling. I know that we must progress toward electric vehicles, but I'll be a little sad to lose some of what makes cars exciting and fun.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:55 AM on January 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
here is a tesla obliterating the mustang hellcat in a drag race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG6veF_34QE
I know it's just so terribly beneath you to know what the car is, but it's a Dodge Challenger, not a Ford Mustang.
That's a Tesla obliterating a bad driver in a drag race. Note the ridiculous amount of wheel spin as the Challenger flails about. That's someone who just plain doesn't know how to launch their car.
Not to take anything away from the Tesla, but with electric motors and AWD, your grandma could launch it and get 11s all day long. It's computer controlled everything.
The Hellcat is an unapologetic beast that takes some skill to launch. Done properly, they can break into 10s times.
I grew up with a car guy dad and Hot Wheels. There's a visceral sensation to a deep V-8 rumble. Feeling the engine's sound in your chest as the car shoves you forward is thrilling. I know that we must progress toward electric vehicles, but I'll be a little sad to lose some of what makes cars exciting and fun.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:55 AM on January 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
I want my 13-year-old Honda Odyssey minivan to sound like a hot rod.
posted by tippiedog at 7:02 AM on January 22, 2015
posted by tippiedog at 7:02 AM on January 22, 2015
To be fair the Challenger Hellcat driver was abysmaterribad. He literally got going about 2 sec. after the Tesla.
That said: mid-11 sec 1/4 is fast for any production-ish car. The Tesla may have beaten the Hellcat even with a more competent pilot, because the electric motor yields oodles of torque and doesn't have a powerband to worry about.
Also, I believe the Tesla is AWD, Challenger Hellcat is RWD. I don't think the Tesla driver would be able to burnout and warm up the tires like the Hellcat did, but having roughly twice the contact patch makes up for that easily.
All in all, and I'd have said that before watching that silly video, if I got to choose one of these cars, I'd take the Tesla.
posted by Mister_A at 7:22 AM on January 22, 2015
That said: mid-11 sec 1/4 is fast for any production-ish car. The Tesla may have beaten the Hellcat even with a more competent pilot, because the electric motor yields oodles of torque and doesn't have a powerband to worry about.
Also, I believe the Tesla is AWD, Challenger Hellcat is RWD. I don't think the Tesla driver would be able to burnout and warm up the tires like the Hellcat did, but having roughly twice the contact patch makes up for that easily.
All in all, and I'd have said that before watching that silly video, if I got to choose one of these cars, I'd take the Tesla.
posted by Mister_A at 7:22 AM on January 22, 2015
For the first time in my life, I test drove a VW GTI yesterday. I've always loved the look of them and heard raves about their performance. I was test driving a bunch of economical hondas too, but what struck me about driving an all-the-options GTI was that despite the nice fit and finish and all the leather, it was loud inside, louder than cheap Hondas at half the price. I associate quiet cars with luxury brands, so I was taken aback by how much road noise and engine noise I heard while driving it.
Then I realized, it was all about the sound of the engine. The engine sounded sweet, but I couldn't get over the annoying road hum being louder as a result.
Also: There's an episode of 99% Invisible on the trademarking of sounds that features a Ford engineer that worked on the Mustang and "crafted" the sounds of the exhaust specifically to have that deep throaty V8 sound, but with modern efficient powerplants, he had to fake it with pipe shapes mostly.
posted by mathowie at 7:45 AM on January 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Then I realized, it was all about the sound of the engine. The engine sounded sweet, but I couldn't get over the annoying road hum being louder as a result.
Also: There's an episode of 99% Invisible on the trademarking of sounds that features a Ford engineer that worked on the Mustang and "crafted" the sounds of the exhaust specifically to have that deep throaty V8 sound, but with modern efficient powerplants, he had to fake it with pipe shapes mostly.
posted by mathowie at 7:45 AM on January 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
To be fair the Challenger Hellcat driver was abysmaterribad. He literally got going about 2 sec. after the Tesla.
it's not just the driver. Modern Mopars are a joke, compared their legendary muscle cars of the 60s and 70s.
Here's a great example of the classics: 1970 Challenger 440 vs. 1967 GTX 426 Hemi.
That '67 GTX is the Plymouth version of the '67 Dodge Coronet 426 Hemi I posted earlier, it's basically identical except for some chrome trim. A friend of mine owned a 67 Hemi Coronet and once he let me do a quarter mile drag in it, it was absolutely terrifying and exhilarating. That drag race is a classic. Mopar people say that in a 3 way drag race between something like a 340 Dart, a 440 Challenger, and a 426 Hemi Coronet, the 340 would be first off the line, lead for a few yards, then be overtaken by the 440, then just near the end the 426 Hemi would take the lead and win. BTW, I remember when a guy in a 440 Charger challenged me to a drag race at a red light. He was pretty good, but my Mustang GT smoked him. A light fast car will often beat a more powerful but heavier car. I was once even challenged by a 70 Mustang Mach 1 with the 351 Cleveland engine and a shaker hood, a real hot car. I smoked him (barely). Perhaps that race is best left unremembered. I spun out and almost crashed. And that was when I decided to stop being a speed demon.
I am looking around YouTube for a drag race between a modern vs. classic version of the same Mopar model, but I can't find one. And I think my neighbors are probably tired of hearing drag racing sounds coming from my apartment.
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:06 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
it's not just the driver. Modern Mopars are a joke, compared their legendary muscle cars of the 60s and 70s.
Here's a great example of the classics: 1970 Challenger 440 vs. 1967 GTX 426 Hemi.
That '67 GTX is the Plymouth version of the '67 Dodge Coronet 426 Hemi I posted earlier, it's basically identical except for some chrome trim. A friend of mine owned a 67 Hemi Coronet and once he let me do a quarter mile drag in it, it was absolutely terrifying and exhilarating. That drag race is a classic. Mopar people say that in a 3 way drag race between something like a 340 Dart, a 440 Challenger, and a 426 Hemi Coronet, the 340 would be first off the line, lead for a few yards, then be overtaken by the 440, then just near the end the 426 Hemi would take the lead and win. BTW, I remember when a guy in a 440 Charger challenged me to a drag race at a red light. He was pretty good, but my Mustang GT smoked him. A light fast car will often beat a more powerful but heavier car. I was once even challenged by a 70 Mustang Mach 1 with the 351 Cleveland engine and a shaker hood, a real hot car. I smoked him (barely). Perhaps that race is best left unremembered. I spun out and almost crashed. And that was when I decided to stop being a speed demon.
I am looking around YouTube for a drag race between a modern vs. classic version of the same Mopar model, but I can't find one. And I think my neighbors are probably tired of hearing drag racing sounds coming from my apartment.
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:06 AM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
My fam has owned several versions of Toyota/Lexus hybrids. At low speeds they emit a muted electronic "bwaaaa" sound to alert pedestrians to their presence. Except my daughter's CT-200h, a "sporty" hybrid instead says, "BWAAAA" at about twice the volume of the others!
posted by Standeck at 8:22 AM on January 22, 2015
posted by Standeck at 8:22 AM on January 22, 2015
It's a little known fact that some of the very first automobiles incorporated belt-powered gramophones with the sound of horse's hooves and the occasional whinny. The speed of the disc's rotation would vary with the speed of the car, which worked quite well up to a point, but if the car went too fast (down a hill, say), it would sound like you were riding a team of demented chipmunk horses working on a typewriter. The idle rich, of course, could hire horse impersonaters to stand on a platform at the back of the vehicle making horsey-noises, although, again, at speed, these noises would tend to get whipped away in the wind and degenerate into an almost indistinguishable burble of sound; which is, interestingly, the origin of the term "rumble seat."
Eventually, of course, WWI and its immense demands on fresh manpower led to the decline of the human-horse-noise-impersonator trade as all the best practitioners were called up to provide horsey noises for the fledgeling tank services (which, as we all know, were incorporated into the existing cavalry divisions of the various European armies). There is, as you might imagine, much more to tell in this fascinating history, but I fear its relevance to this thread is debatable.
posted by yoink at 8:58 AM on January 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Eventually, of course, WWI and its immense demands on fresh manpower led to the decline of the human-horse-noise-impersonator trade as all the best practitioners were called up to provide horsey noises for the fledgeling tank services (which, as we all know, were incorporated into the existing cavalry divisions of the various European armies). There is, as you might imagine, much more to tell in this fascinating history, but I fear its relevance to this thread is debatable.
posted by yoink at 8:58 AM on January 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Would like to get our Prius to make This sound when pressing the right pedal.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 10:48 AM on January 22, 2015
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 10:48 AM on January 22, 2015
If anyone has a way to make my diesel Cummins Dodge 3/4-ton sound like a Prius, I'd be much obliged. That truck is fucking embarrassing to drive. If it becomes too hard for pedestrians to hear me coming up behind them, I'll gladly install a musical horn that plays "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."
posted by stet at 11:52 AM on January 22, 2015
posted by stet at 11:52 AM on January 22, 2015
Its hard to argue with the arousing factor on the V12 in flight.
Yeah, they make an impressive sound for sure. I've seen spitfires fly a couple of times and have always been amazed by how loud they are - and how slow compared to modern fighter aircraft. The enemy would have had time to have a cuppa and a piss before they needed to do anything once they first heard them ;-)
They do make a nice sound if that sort of sound is nice to you. I've seen Merlin V12 engines running at full song several times in hydroplanes and that rumble and the way it feels in your chest is awesome. I also understand how people feel that live near busy roads - having moved from such a place a few months ago, I know the pain they go through. I love the sound of a well-tuned high performance engine, but not so keen on it when it's the eleventy-twelfth to go past the house that day driven by some dickhead confusing noise with performance.
A nice engine sound doesn't have to be super loud, though - it's a trivial matter these days to tune exhausts (of road cars, anyway) so they are quiet at low revs but open up to make 'the music' at higher revs.
posted by dg at 1:09 PM on January 22, 2015
Yeah, they make an impressive sound for sure. I've seen spitfires fly a couple of times and have always been amazed by how loud they are - and how slow compared to modern fighter aircraft. The enemy would have had time to have a cuppa and a piss before they needed to do anything once they first heard them ;-)
They do make a nice sound if that sort of sound is nice to you. I've seen Merlin V12 engines running at full song several times in hydroplanes and that rumble and the way it feels in your chest is awesome. I also understand how people feel that live near busy roads - having moved from such a place a few months ago, I know the pain they go through. I love the sound of a well-tuned high performance engine, but not so keen on it when it's the eleventy-twelfth to go past the house that day driven by some dickhead confusing noise with performance.
A nice engine sound doesn't have to be super loud, though - it's a trivial matter these days to tune exhausts (of road cars, anyway) so they are quiet at low revs but open up to make 'the music' at higher revs.
posted by dg at 1:09 PM on January 22, 2015
When I bought my MkV GTI, it had already been modified a bit. I'll agree with whoever it was upthread that it's a bit noisy inside, but I can't complain about the exhaust note - a deep warm grumble that I just love (not unlike the E-type Jaguar in the link I posted upthread), yet it doesn't piss off my neighbors as I'm trundling through the neighborhood. If I put my foot in it out on the road it does get louder and more throaty, but it still isn't a piercing shout like some of the cars in the other links that have been posted here.
After decades of being a family man and owning a parade of boring wimpy cheap-ass econoboxes, it's such a joy to start this thing up and hear a proper thrum! And it'll git, too.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:46 PM on January 22, 2015
After decades of being a family man and owning a parade of boring wimpy cheap-ass econoboxes, it's such a joy to start this thing up and hear a proper thrum! And it'll git, too.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:46 PM on January 22, 2015
If anyone has a way to make my diesel Cummins Dodge 3/4-ton sound like a Prius, I'd be much obliged. That truck is fucking embarrassing to drive.
It is more common to find a Cummins Dodge rolling coal and with a Prius Repellent sticker on it.
If you ever get rid of that truck, take it to an junkyard and make them crush it right in front of you. Otherwise it will end up as a coal roller.
posted by charlie don't surf at 6:14 PM on January 22, 2015
It is more common to find a Cummins Dodge rolling coal and with a Prius Repellent sticker on it.
If you ever get rid of that truck, take it to an junkyard and make them crush it right in front of you. Otherwise it will end up as a coal roller.
posted by charlie don't surf at 6:14 PM on January 22, 2015
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So, if it sounds good, it sounds good. Real V8 rumble's days are numbered. I'll take fake noise over nothing.
posted by hwyengr at 8:08 PM on January 21, 2015