Bread for Him, Bread for Her
January 23, 2015 4:22 PM   Subscribe

You may have assumed that some products were immune from blatantly gendered advertising. Bread, say. But you'd be wrong. Stonemill Bakehouse has introduced Men's Wellbeing Barley & Rye Bread and Women's Wellbeing Hemp & Quinoa Bread. The label for the women's bread is, helpfully, pink.
posted by clawsoon (121 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
 
I really like barley and rye but I don't want to grow a penis please advise?
posted by phunniemee at 4:25 PM on January 23, 2015 [38 favorites]


We really need to be rethinking this whole quinoa thing.

That's quite aside from the grotesquerie of PINK BREAD FOR GIRLS, which is so bad on so many levels I don't even know where to start.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:30 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


What happens if you use a slice of each to make a sandwich?
posted by oceanjesse at 4:35 PM on January 23, 2015 [24 favorites]


omg. We need to patent gendered soft drinks yesterday. Pepsi Blue and Pepsi Pink.
posted by Leon at 4:37 PM on January 23, 2015


This seems like a really good way to convince a lot of families to buy twice as much bread.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 4:39 PM on January 23, 2015 [12 favorites]


omg. We need to patent gendered soft drinks yesterday. Pepsi Blue and Pepsi Pink.

I thought that was the reason they introduced Coke Zero; Diet Coke had come to be seen as a product for women, they made Coke Zero so they could market it to men.

There's also the more blatant Go Girl energy drink.
posted by aubilenon at 4:40 PM on January 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


Pepsi Pink already exists. It is strawberry milk flavoured.

Here's a non-pink "Women's Bread" and the "Men's Bread" from the French Meadow Bakery (which admittedly apparently no longer makes any breads for sale)
posted by angerbot at 4:43 PM on January 23, 2015


*panoramic shot of a beard ascending a mountain high in the clouds*

"When it's time to hit the trail and live out father's wishes, I reach for Stonemill Wellbeing brand breads to keep me going strong. Stonemill Wellbeing brand breads are the rugged healthy choice for a masculine sandwich of burlap gravel and Jack London punch jerky. Wellbeing brand breads, from Stonemill! Perform your anxious machismo at mealtime, ANYTIME!"

*explodes*
posted by EatTheWeek at 4:45 PM on January 23, 2015 [8 favorites]


Every time I drag my spouse to the tool section at Sears, she always rolls her eyes at the pink tool sets.

"This one is for me. Because I have a vagina. My wrench needs are different than yours."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 4:46 PM on January 23, 2015 [32 favorites]


Her wench needs might be slightly different, though.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:48 PM on January 23, 2015 [9 favorites]


Based on my recent shopping experiences I can only assume the men's bread is cheaper, more nutritious, tastes better and is easier to find.
posted by bleep at 4:49 PM on January 23, 2015 [58 favorites]


I was going to call them and ask if nonbinary people should eat a slice of each, but they're in Canada :(
posted by emmtee at 4:49 PM on January 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


I love Metafilter.
posted by Melismata at 4:50 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Every time I drag my spouse to the tool section at Sears, she always rolls her eyes at the pink tool sets.

A recent low point in my existence involved my sudden need for a power screwdriver. A trip to the nearest hardware store revealed that the only ones available in my price range were pink (presumably because more affluent folks ran away from them in terror), which left me no choice but to roll my eyes really hard and acquire a supposedly girly power screwdriver. Some time later, a male contractor doing some work at my rental espied the pink screwdriver and broke out into uncontrollable laughter, as I slunk off into another part of the house, covered in (pink) shame.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:53 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


thomas j wise, what's wrong with pink?
posted by aubilenon at 4:55 PM on January 23, 2015 [7 favorites]


What's wrong with pink?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:55 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


jinx
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:55 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Women get the hemp? Sounds like they come out ahead.
posted by jonmc at 4:55 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


relevant
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 4:56 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


i long for the apocalypse
posted by poffin boffin at 4:56 PM on January 23, 2015 [13 favorites]


This seems like a really good way to convince a lot of families to buy twice as much bread.

I have a better idea: let's set fire to everything.
posted by mhoye at 4:58 PM on January 23, 2015 [73 favorites]


*tracking shot of kids playing and running through the kitchen, pan up to Mom in a grey hoodie*

"Performing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of unpaid domestic labor and shouldering the bulk of assumed societal responsibility for the health and wholeness of the American family unit can really wear you out! Thank gosh I have Stonemill Wellbeing brand Quinoa Goddess Nursemaid Lo Carb Misty Dew Drop breads to help me meet my culture's strict and escalating beauty standards --

*her kids and their friends pull the door off the fridge and smash the spice rack against the wall, then wail and rend their garments*

-- because nowadays we need all the help we can get!"

*Stonemill Wellbeing brand logo rendered in silken ribbon on bed of flower petals*
posted by EatTheWeek at 5:01 PM on January 23, 2015 [31 favorites]


The pink label cost twice as much, right?
posted by QueerAngel28 at 5:02 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


Does the fact that I made manly brown bread* last weekend negate my womanliness? I'm confused.

*"War bread" from Bernard Clayton's Book of Breads. It's awesome: oatmeal, cornmeal, whole wheat flour, white wheat flour, and molasses. Baked up nice and light, too--but brown! And less sweet than you would expect from the molasses.
posted by suelac at 5:02 PM on January 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


A few years ago, they had "man yogurt".

Hell, I had that last week.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:05 PM on January 23, 2015 [27 favorites]


Brogurt
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:07 PM on January 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


POWERFUL YOGURT WHY

this world can only be cleansed with fire
posted by poffin boffin at 5:09 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


The sad part is that I mostly eat Stonemill breads. They're interesting and tasty and on my supermarket shelves. But this is just embarrassing.
posted by clawsoon at 5:10 PM on January 23, 2015


or possibly a flood for the Biblical types
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:10 PM on January 23, 2015


what men want in food – it needs to fill them up and taste great.

All of the ads for "men's yogurt" sound really gay. And I don't mean that in the casual slur things-that-are-lame-are-gay way. I mean they all sound like coded references to men having sex with other men. Which is maybe the exact right way to market to ostensibly hetero dudes with too many issues to eat regular goddamned yogurt.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:12 PM on January 23, 2015 [16 favorites]


I will add this to my grocery list using my Bic For Her pen.
posted by Sara C. at 5:12 PM on January 23, 2015 [15 favorites]


It's pink so even a lady brain can tell.
posted by spaltavian at 5:14 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


The label for the women's bread is, helpfully, pink.
Oh, barf.

Do you know, needed a hand mirrow one day and picked one up at the grocery store and carried it around while I was doing the rest of my shopping. The price was more than what I liked for a crappy little mirror. When I wandered into the men's section I spotted a similar one for half the price! Similar, hell, they were identical exept for the packaging.

This stuff pisses me off.
posted by SLC Mom at 5:14 PM on January 23, 2015 [6 favorites]


Is this where we register our disapproval of the new trend in adding "MAN" to words for things that were previously unisex? They're not "Meggings", they're fucking leggings that men wear. It's not a "Man Cave" it's a fucking room. For chrissakes, people.
posted by Sara C. at 5:14 PM on January 23, 2015 [30 favorites]


when are advertisers going to go full on man madness and just sell plastic bottle shots of unadulterated bull semen for REAL ULTIMATE MAN POWER
posted by poffin boffin at 5:15 PM on January 23, 2015 [10 favorites]


This bread is crazy but always reminds me of hitting the japanese grocery store and seeing Pocky sold as "womens" and "mens" pocky, which has always boggled my mind (I think it's darker chocolate for dudes?).
posted by mathowie at 5:17 PM on January 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


that would be like, super gay though
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:17 PM on January 23, 2015


when are advertisers going to go full on man madness and just sell plastic bottle shots of unadulterated bull semen for REAL ULTIMATE MAN POWER

The advertisements for that would be gay in exactly the way that DirtyOldTown describes above.
posted by clawsoon at 5:18 PM on January 23, 2015


It's not a "Man Cave" it's a fucking room.

Agreed. Maybe the most watchable show about those rooms (Mega Dens on DIY)is by a woman anyway: Anitra Mecadon.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:18 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


that would be like, super gay though

YEAH EXACTLY when will current civilizations reach the height of manliness that was classical greek civilization where in order to prove their virile masculinity men would grease up and rassle naked in the sand?
posted by poffin boffin at 5:21 PM on January 23, 2015 [18 favorites]


Adding Mecadon to my list of "names I would make an exception and take if I got married".

Hm, maybe I'll just change my last name to Mecadon.

Mecha-Don?
posted by Sara C. at 5:22 PM on January 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


when are advertisers going to go full on man madness and just sell plastic bottle shots of unadulterated bull semen for REAL ULTIMATE MAN POWER

One of the few more recent episodes of South Park that I've bothered to sit through was Butters' Creamy Goo. Pretty much, yeah.
posted by hippybear at 5:23 PM on January 23, 2015


This bread is crazy but always reminds me of hitting the japanese grocery store and seeing Pocky sold as "womens" and "mens" pocky, which has always boggled my mind (I think it's darker chocolate for dudes?).

There actually isn't a women's pocky, only a men's. There is a pink one, but it's strawberry.
posted by clockzero at 5:24 PM on January 23, 2015


This bread is crazy but always reminds me of hitting the japanese grocery store and seeing Pocky sold as "womens" and "mens" pocky, which has always boggled my mind (I think it's darker chocolate for dudes?).

There is no such thing as Women's Pocky, only Men's Pocky. Yes, it is darker chocolate. No, I have no further explanation.
posted by aubilenon at 5:25 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


YEAH EXACTLY when will current civilizations reach the height of manliness that was classical greek civilization where in order to prove their virile masculinity men would grease up and rassle naked in the sand?

yes when I am waiting for this

One of the few more recent episodes of South Park that I've bothered to sit through was Butters' Creamy Goo. Pretty much, yeah.

I give you Boy Butter
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:25 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


there's been a lot of jinxing on metafilter lately, what is the deal guys
posted by clockzero at 5:26 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


You can use this bread and Monterey Jill cheese to make an ultra-feminine grilled cheese sandwich! See, that cheese is for women because it's reduced fat, and ladies be dieting amirite.
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:28 PM on January 23, 2015 [13 favorites]


General Jack D. Ripper: Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence my man-bread. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.

General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence man-bread.
posted by mosk at 5:29 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


I will add this to my grocery list using my Bic For Her pen.

I was once in a journal club where some dude brought an evo psych article for discussion. It listed the Bic For Her pens as an example of a small luxury a woman might buy for herself, perhaps after a stressful day out. As far as I could possibly tell, it was deadly serious.

Sadly, no one else in the journal club got why I was laughing so hard as I and the other women in the journal club eviscerated the paper...
posted by sciatrix at 5:31 PM on January 23, 2015 [10 favorites]


What's wrong with pink?

It was easily my favorite color in the 80's. Wore shirts that color like I wanted to be an extra on Miami Vice.
posted by SpacemanStix at 5:34 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


What happens if you use a slice of each to make a sandwich?
posted by oceanjesse at 7:35 PM on January 23


David Bowie.
posted by Divine_Wino at 5:37 PM on January 23, 2015 [10 favorites]


This bread is crazy but always reminds me of hitting the japanese grocery store and seeing Pocky sold as "womens" and "mens" pocky, which has always boggled my mind (I think it's darker chocolate for dudes?).

This seems related. Bear with me here.

I come from a family that likes to golf. A lot. My parents were never members of a country club or private golf course because that sort of shit wasn't in the budget. They just liked to play golf, so they've always played lots of public courses, when affordable.

So, I learned to golf at a young age, and not in any pressured way.

I'm not a golf guy, but I do like to golf a couple of times a year, should the opportunity present itself, and I have some modest, if wildly inconsistent skills when playing the game.

I own no golf clubs, so consequently I rent them when I play.

The right clubs for me as a short-ish dude, are women's clubs. They are precisely the right length for my swing and build.

The same gendered marketing bullshit applies to those. My rental choices are usually hot pink "lady" clubs. I'll gladly play with a set of pink clubs, no worries. The rental comes in a hot pink bag? Fuck yeah, let's do it.

But if you poke around a golf pro shop, you'll see drivers that are branded like "bull semen ultra-distance man-power-killer-blah-blah-blah." The ultimate irony being that most of these are way too long and "whippy" for me, meaning I can hit a solid straight-down-the-fairway shot off the tee on a difficult hole with a hot pink women's 5 wood.

The guys swinging those macho clubs end up skulling the ball, or hooking it or slicing it way off into the woods. It's funny to watch when moments earlier I was being heckled for the clubs I was carrying.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:38 PM on January 23, 2015 [24 favorites]


I think this falls more under my pseudo-medical-BS radar than my gratuitous-gendering-BS radar. I mean this is more like "once-a-day vitamens for men" and "once-a-day-vitamens for women" than the "let's make the drills pink for the ladies" isn't it? Their hypothesis is that their breads are being specifically formulated to provide for differential nutrient requirements in men and women. I'm sure that that claim is flagrant crap, but it seems inherently different from "hey, men and women both use this tool for exactly the same purpose in exactly the same way, but we need to clearly mark one version of it as the women's one."

That is, this would be more under the gratuitous-gendering-BS radar if they were making no claims that the bread in each packet was different, just packaging it differently for male and female buyers.

Although, having just looked at the actual ads, the "milder" for women vs. "heartier" for men thing is pretty fucking hilariously gender-stereotyping-stupid. So, o.k., it's pinging madly on both radars.
posted by yoink at 5:38 PM on January 23, 2015 [11 favorites]


What's wrong with pink?
However, just because our responses to colour are constructed, it doesn’t mean that they, or what they’re responding to, aren’t real. My aesthetic responses to pink – like my daughter’s – are direct and immediate, something I can’t easily alter or put aside. My taste for some pinks over others, and for other combinations of colours, textures and patterns, is part and parcel of a more encompassing set of tastes extending to food, furniture, turns of phrase, music, and ‘high’ art. These visceral, unreflective judgments hang together in a complex habitus, as the French scholar Pierre Bourdieu would say: a larger nexus of values, dispositions, and ways of acting, which is itself the product of my own meandering navigation through the socioeconomic environment. Every time I dress myself – or my daughter – I signal who I am; where and how I fit in. Other people pick up on and respond to these signals, and conforming to and flouting the resulting expectations has consequences that can be just as potent as catching a virus or walking into a brick wall.
Also: Pointlessly gendered products!
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:39 PM on January 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


thomas j wise, what's wrong with pink?

It's a fine color, but not when it's gender-coding a blasted power screwdriver.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:39 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


It just occurred to me that some people in this thread might not realize that I'm a woman.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:41 PM on January 23, 2015 [53 favorites]


Well thank my lucky stars the Women's Bread lists how many calories per slice right there for my dainty lady-eyes to see. There's no mention of calories per slice on the Men's Bread page, because men are brawny and need lots of calories for uh, for lifting lumber and chasing wild boars, while ladies are so worried about those pesky calories a'creepin' in and creating .....pudge! **fans self with pages of Cosmo**
posted by but no cigar at 5:42 PM on January 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


I think this falls more under my pseudo-medical-BS radar than my gratuitous-gendering-BS radar. I mean this is more like "once-a-day vitamens for men" and "once-a-day-vitamens for women" than the "let's make the drills pink for the ladies" isn't it?

Yeah, it's about extra calcium vs extra protein. Pseudo-science & sexism, conveniently sliced.
posted by betweenthebars at 5:43 PM on January 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


If I offered samples of "man yogurt," would I get slapped?
posted by Pronoiac at 5:48 PM on January 23, 2015


Depends, Pronoiac, are you buying me a drink first?

It just occurred to me that some people in this thread might not realize that I'm a woman.

That does change a lot of the intent behind my question. To me it seems like there's a big difference between "eww pink" coming from a man (who has been socialized to think of pink as only a girl colour and therefore not good) and "eww pink" coming from a woman (who has been socialized to think of pink as only a girl colour and therefore the only thing that's allowed).
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:54 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


As a man, I only eat bread created from a sourdough starter that's been fed Axe body spray and beard oil.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:55 PM on January 23, 2015 [7 favorites]


The thing is, I like pink. I look good in pink! I enjoy pink things! What I don't like is when random objects are manufactured in special pink form in order to signal that they're for members of my strange species, rather than for normal people.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:56 PM on January 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


Wow this really gives "staff of life" a new meaning
posted by The Whelk at 5:57 PM on January 23, 2015 [6 favorites]


I think this falls more under my pseudo-medical-BS radar

That's a good point. When research started to emerge about LDL and HDL cholesterol and their role in heart disease in the late 80s "cholesterol free" became the marketing term for foods that had never actually contained it in the first place. Not unlike corn chips being labeled "gluten free" now.

Despite the fact that those same corn chips may have insane amounts of sodium, or those "cholesterol free" products of the 80s contained hydrogenated palm oil and trans-fatty acids in gross abundance.

I have such radar for this that it leads to uncomfortable lunchroom conversations when people are extolling the marketed claims of whatever it is they're eating.

"This is a super food!"

"I think Cool Ranch Doritos are super, sometimes. But I try to eat a lot of broccoli and fibre is very important to me."

So yeah. Foods with specific marketed health claims. There's a gold mine there. You just need to roll over the claims every so often to stay up on the trend, I guess.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:58 PM on January 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


I also imagine the early manbread prototype involved food coloring it in camo colors, but then market testing revealed green and brown breads tend to look spoiled.

Also, butter is pastel-yellow. It's a girly coating for toast. It's a good thing Amazon sells Boy Butter, so I can maintain my thin but vital shell of manliness around my pitiful ego.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:59 PM on January 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


There is no such thing as Women's Pocky, only Men's Pocky. Yes, it is darker chocolate. No, I have no further explanation.

Soylent Green is people!
posted by Foosnark at 6:01 PM on January 23, 2015


My son has lately been sort of poking at gender stereotypes by making jokes about "I'm gonna be MANLY and do this LIKE A MAN," and saying things like "Women have a special sense for finding stores." He's 9, and he is obviously trying to get a rise out of me, but sometimes I worry also, because being a parent does that to you. I think he might get a kick out of this stuff though.
posted by emjaybee at 6:10 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


I also imagine the early manbread prototype involved food coloring it in camo colors, but then market testing revealed green and brown breads tend to look spoiled.

I believe that the manbread label is, in fact, brown and (very dark) green. So I'd suggest that you've made a good call on the "camo colours".
posted by clawsoon at 6:10 PM on January 23, 2015


MonkeyToes, that's hilarious! An FPP all of its own.
posted by Melismata at 6:15 PM on January 23, 2015


The worst is when you go to the donut shop to get a nice surprise for the kids, and you get a bunch of donuts you're told are all fixed or at least the same gender.

Then you take the bag home, open it up, and look, now there's a bunch of munchkin donuts rolling around and you're the one who has to deal with it.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:27 PM on January 23, 2015 [17 favorites]


For a baby pink color scheme, the packaging is quite tasteful. And as silly as it is as a concept, it is pink in a sea of otherwise wholesome earthy colors. Probably not offensive enough to lose any customers, even if it's kind of irritating.
posted by ana scoot at 6:40 PM on January 23, 2015


Wow this really gives "staff of life" a new meaning

the quinoa is in the lady bread
the barley is in the man bread

I think they got it backwards
posted by slow graffiti at 6:55 PM on January 23, 2015


in case that was too subtle, what I'm saying is that quinoa looks like big furry/syphilitic cocks that come in many lovely colors
posted by slow graffiti at 6:56 PM on January 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


It just occurred to me that some people in this thread might not realize that I'm a woman.

I know them feels, lady-bro.



I do not like pink. I can tolerate it in small doses, and once did own a screamingly pink paisley dress but that was only to confuse people. When I was a kid I used to make up songs about how much I hated pink, and even led a protest against it and somehow got everyone to join in (I was influential for someone who was relatively unpopular.)

Gendered pink products still make me make me upset.



"Meggings"

I refuse to acknowledge that is even a thing. It's better for everyone if I am just kept away from such nonsense.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:04 PM on January 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


GODDAMMIT I like Stonemill. When I don't get around to baking my own bread they're my first choice. And now I have to go send them a fucking email telling them that I'm not willing to fucking support their fucking delicious bread.

whyyyyyyyyy is my life.
posted by Lemurrhea at 7:08 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oooh on the plus side I have half an arepa in the fridge. Corn flour bread to the rescue!
posted by Lemurrhea at 7:08 PM on January 23, 2015 [1 favorite]


I dunno, louche. If you are exposed to that nonsense what is the likelihood you will kill it with fire?

If it's greater than say 30%, I think it's better for everyone if you're exposed.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:10 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


Every time I drag my spouse to the tool section at Sears, she always rolls her eyes at the pink tool sets.

I have a pink toolset in my truck when I go offroading.

You know how easy it is to find pink tools in the dirt ? Also, nobody steals pink tools.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:15 PM on January 23, 2015 [30 favorites]


I just came across this billboard and it filled the portion of me that wasn't full of barley and/or rye, but definitely not quinoa, with rage.
posted by rodlymight at 7:16 PM on January 23, 2015


In defense of pink tools:

I am part of the Flaming Lotus Girls, and I have noticed that it is a lot easier to introduce women to the joy of metalwork when some of our tools are pink. Maybe the war on gender stereotyping is hurt by this, but a bunch of women now know how to weld and solder and build.

I am far too privileged to have an opinion, though.
posted by poe at 7:27 PM on January 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


I thought that was the reason they introduced Coke Zero; Diet Coke had come to be seen as a product for women, they made Coke Zero so they could market it to men.

Dr Pepper did this too with the ad campaigns for Dr Pepper Ten. Ugh. Fucking infuriating.
posted by kmz at 7:43 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


Pink tools should absolutely be available!

I think the issue is when pink tools are issued as more lightly manufactured versions of their "man"-coloured counterparts.

If they're of the same build and quality, no issue!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:45 PM on January 23, 2015


Plus, what Pogo_Fuzzybutt said.

Until we come to a point when tool-wielding dudebros are fine with pink tools, then we'll have to revisit the anti-theft advantage.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:50 PM on January 23, 2015


Brogurt

A yes, presumably related to the bronut.

On a tangential note, who the fuck thinks a donut is a snack? that shit is desert. Like, you have it with tea maybe 30 minutes after a hearty dinner while you watch the telly, jesus.
posted by emptythought at 8:06 PM on January 23, 2015


If you will pay transportation costs, I will airbrush your tools pink. (I'll probably airbrush your tools anyhow, I need the practice.)
posted by poe at 8:30 PM on January 23, 2015


It's not a "Man Cave" it's a fucking room. For chrissakes, people.

The man cave and the fucking room are two different rooms in my place.
posted by srboisvert at 8:43 PM on January 23, 2015 [22 favorites]


I find it's wise to keep all the remotes in ziploc bags no matter whether they are for the TV/stereo in the man cave or the fucking room.
posted by hippybear at 8:48 PM on January 23, 2015 [6 favorites]


Soylent Green is people!

But we need to think about introducing Soylent Pink to the product line.
posted by nubs at 8:57 PM on January 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


I can confirm that pink tools never go missing. I work with a bunch of manly dudes, we have a chronic lack of tape measures, and my Hello Kitty tape never goes missing. Even when I misplace it! I kind of wonder if buying the lady bread would mean nobody would steal my sandwich ingredients from the work fridge.
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:21 PM on January 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


If you keep your food in a powerpuff girls lunchbox it will be safe from all predation.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:29 PM on January 23, 2015 [4 favorites]


You know, after a life time of disposing pink, I finally learned to appreciate as a color and not as some stupid symbol of girliness some 7-8 years ago. And I feel like the past couple years the world decided to just grind the pink hatred back in by making anything meant for women unnecessarily pink. Maybe I was right to be suspicious of pink all along.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 12:15 AM on January 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


What happens if you use a slice of each to make a sandwich?
posted by oceanjesse at 7:35 PM on January 23

David Bowie.


I...uh...going to store, BRB.
posted by biscotti at 5:29 AM on January 24, 2015 [9 favorites]


When I was a kid, everyone took Flintstone vitamins. You bit Wilma's head off first and nobody wanted to eat Betty. They tasted like orangey-iron-death. Now I'm an old person and there are vitamins for men, vitamins for women, vitamins for your eyes, for your bones, for your brain, gummy vitamins for whoever, etc., and my limited understanding is that different compositions support different things.

I can be okay with that. I can also be okay with infused bread for different nutritional needs.

I am NOT okay with men's bread being "hearty" and women's bread being "mild and light-textured" because I am a grown-ass woman and I CAN HANDLE YOUR HEARTY GRAINS YOU BASTARDS.
posted by kinetic at 5:40 AM on January 24, 2015 [12 favorites]


Where's the bread for Goldilocks? Neither of these strike me as just right.
posted by arcticseal at 6:07 AM on January 24, 2015


> "Is this where we register our disapproval of the new trend in adding 'MAN' to words for things that were previously unisex?"

Whenever I hear a word like "manscara" or "manscaping" or "man-purse", it comes across to me as nothing more than an anguished scream of, "I LIVE IN PERPETUAL TERROR THAT IF I DO ANYTHING REMOTELY ASSOCIATED WITH FEMININITY WITHOUT CONSTANTLY REASSERTING THAT I AM IN FACT A MANLY MAN WHO IS MANLY THEN THE PENIS BANDITS WILL COME FOR MY PENIS!"
posted by kyrademon at 6:15 AM on January 24, 2015 [28 favorites]


I think this falls more under my pseudo-medical-BS radar

Yeah, in addition to the ridiculous gendering it's also got the processed food masquerading as healthy thing going on, and the gendering is reinforcing the bullshit health claims.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 6:47 AM on January 24, 2015


Why then does anyone thinks calling it "mansplaining" will make men do it less, rather than more?
posted by jfuller at 6:47 AM on January 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


I long for the days when wearing women's jeans made me look cool.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:03 AM on January 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


God, I hate 'man cave.' It's such a condescending fucking term. What the hell happened to 'study' or 'library'? A study is where you plan your expedition to Darkest Peru; a man cave is where some cheese-fed idiot confuses performing masculinity with being an incurious consumer choad.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:56 AM on January 24, 2015 [19 favorites]


But how much Kraft ManCheez are you going to buy in Darkest Peru? Not enough for P&G, that's for sure. Better stick with "man cave".
posted by clawsoon at 9:07 AM on January 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


I read on this very website that what happened is consumerism: a mancave is all about buying things, like big TVs and watching football games in 100 dollar jerseys. libraries, studies, and workshops were all about doing or making things.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 9:18 AM on January 24, 2015 [5 favorites]


So what you're saying is that... it's a room
posted by Sara C. at 10:00 AM on January 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Pogo_Fuzzybutt, this is why I'm trying to convince my wife to let me paint our Tacoma a garish shade of Barbie Pink. Also, I happen to not-so-secretly enjoy the color.
posted by endotoxin at 11:43 AM on January 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh, barf.

Do you know, needed a hand mirrow one day and picked one up at the grocery store and carried it around while I was doing the rest of my shopping. The price was more than what I liked for a crappy little mirror. When I wandered into the men's section I spotted a similar one for half the price! Similar, hell, they were identical exept for the packaging.

This stuff pisses me off.


A while ago, I was in the market for some nail clippers. There's a drug store right around the corner, so I went there first. I searched high and low through every aisle of that drug store for nail clippers. Finally I got to the dreaded makeup aisle, and there they were, right next to those torture devices misguided teenagers use to crease their clumpy eyelashes to a bizarre ninety-degree angle. Reader, the nail clippers were priced at eight dollars.

(I eventually got the clippers at the dollar store for less than one might reasonably expect to buy something there.)
posted by Sys Rq at 12:23 PM on January 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


One does not eat Kraft ManCheez in Darkest Peru. One eats marmalade.
posted by arcticseal at 1:06 PM on January 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


"God, I hate 'man cave.' It's such a condescending fucking term."

That's what I like about it. It's part of this whole Apatow-esque man-child package where insecure men retreat into a perpetual adolescence while they expect the women in their lives to provide for them materially and emotionally and respect their exclusive space for their toys. It's insanely regressive and represents a genuine cultural trend that is also repulsive.

That actual men are actually calling such rooms "man caves" unironically and showing them off to their friends is equal parts hilarious and depressing.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:18 PM on January 24, 2015 [7 favorites]


You can only call it a man cave if it's an actual cave full of men ( with a no shirt policy)
posted by The Whelk at 3:06 PM on January 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


So, if shirted men did come into the cave, shall it be called the mirror on the ceiling effect?
posted by clavdivs at 5:33 PM on January 24, 2015


You can only call it a man cave if...

I...goatse joke. No. I shall not.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:20 PM on January 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


What happens if you use a slice of each to make a sandwich?
It seems to me that many people would insist that you on all occasions use a slice of each or god will be all upset and shit. All that using two slices of the same bread for a sandwich is banned by the Bible, dontcha know?
posted by dg at 9:29 PM on January 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


You know that time you wanted a sandwich, and all you had was a heel of one loaf, and some other bread-like product, and they were all stale & shit but not moldy yet? Yeah, that time.

That was a damn good sandwich.
posted by wallabear at 1:10 PM on January 25, 2015


"I LIVE IN PERPETUAL TERROR THAT IF I DO ANYTHING REMOTELY ASSOCIATED WITH FEMININITY WITHOUT CONSTANTLY REASSERTING THAT I AM IN FACT A MANLY MAN WHO IS MANLY THEN THE PENIS BANDITS WILL COME FOR MY PENIS!"


The Penis Bandits have their own code and standards. Your manliness will not protect you.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:07 PM on January 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


"I LIVE IN PERPETUAL TERROR THAT IF I DO ANYTHING REMOTELY ASSOCIATED WITH FEMININITY WITHOUT CONSTANTLY REASSERTING THAT I AM IN FACT A MANLY MAN WHO IS MANLY THEN THE PENIS BANDITS WILL COME FOR MY PENIS!"

I belong to a livestock discussion group, and tonight someone asked about how to get rid of the smell of pig poop. A man responded, in all seriousness, by saying that Summer's Eve feminine wash does the trick. You have no idea how hard it is to refrain from replying "AND THE PENIS BANDITS HAVEN'T COME FOR YOU YET!"
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:25 PM on January 25, 2015 [5 favorites]


I am big on disrupting gender stereotypes but I am bad at figuring out how to do so in public.

So the last time we went shopping as a family (me, mrs. scrump, Elder Son and Younger Son), I grabbed a screamingly pink bobble hat off one of the racks as we walked by and wore it throughout the store.

I am 6'3" and about 275 pounds and look like an extremely confused lumberbadger at the best of times.

Every single kid we passed got the giggles and almost all of the parents got that letterbox look to their mouth. Except one guy who asked me where I got it and I saw him walking around later with his kids, wearing an Elsa hat.

We passed each other and gave each other a Man Nod of acknowledgement.

When we were headed for checkout, I went to put it back and Younger Son threw a fit because "that's Daddy's hat".

I have noticed that I am behaving like this more and more and I think that can be directly attributed to MetaFilter and/or learning about things like Girl Bread and realizing that the only way to combat this absurdity is by out-absurding it.
posted by scrump at 1:01 PM on January 26, 2015 [14 favorites]


That's what I like about it. It's part of this whole Apatow-esque man-child package where insecure men retreat into a perpetual adolescence while they expect the women in their lives to provide for them materially and emotionally and respect their exclusive space for their toys

But it now gets over-applied to any space where a man keeps things or does things he is interested in. Just because a guy likes to have a drink in a rec room or something, it doesn't mean he put up a "no girls allowed" sign.
posted by spaltavian at 12:10 PM on January 28, 2015 [1 favorite]


here is an Axe "shower tool/detailer" because apparently a scrubber isn't manly enough.

I feel like shopping for very basic needs as a man is really embarrassing right now, because either you're the kind of guy who needs unnecessarily gendered stuff as an external confirmation that you're not the gayest gay to ever gay, which is of course super embarrassing, or you're the kind of guy who is horrified/confused/generally meh/whatevs by unnecessarily gendered stuff and is forced to look at it nonetheless just because you need some goddamn soap, and you end up feeling this sort of existential grossness at the state of humanity.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:53 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]


My Dorian Grey-esque collection of cologne decanters scoffs at these men
posted by The Whelk at 1:06 PM on January 28, 2015 [2 favorites]


5 Reasons Why Pointlessly Gendered Products Are a Problem:
Affirming the gender binary also makes everyone who doesn’t fit into it invisible or problematic. This is, essentially, all of us.
...
Pointlessly gendering products isn’t just about splitting us into two groups, it’s also about telling us what it means to be in one of those boxes. Each of these products is an opportunity to remind us.
...
Sometimes the masculine and feminine version of a product are not priced the same. When that happens, the one for women is usually the more expensive one. If women aren’t paying attention—or if it matters to them to have the “right” product—they end up shelling out more money. Studies by the state of California, the University of Central Florida, and Consumer Reports all find that women pay more.
That's why boy bread and girl bread are worth discussing.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:42 PM on January 28, 2015 [1 favorite]


omg. We need to patent gendered soft drinks yesterday. Pepsi Blue and Pepsi Pink.

Pepsi Pink already exists. It is strawberry milk flavoured.


Lookit what popped up on reddit today!
posted by phunniemee at 11:53 AM on January 29, 2015


Cf.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:54 PM on January 29, 2015


5 Reasons Why Pointlessly Gendered Products Are a Problem

I agree with most of those, but that last one is a bit off. That doesn't seem like pointless gendering to me, but rather focused marketing to try to appeal to grrrl power rockers. It's more about saying, "You can do this too," and less about saying, "These are what girls need to play." If you step into most any music store the instruments are often branded by the big musicians, many of which are men, so if you don't happen to have dangly bits you might be intimidated by the idea of picking up a Slash branded guitar. I think that example suffers by being out of context.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:14 PM on January 30, 2015


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