I hear you people like cats.
January 27, 2015 6:26 AM   Subscribe

 
Man, I could watch that cat all day. I have a similar cat (although, uh, 17 lbs) who spends half his waking life trying to get up onto the highest possible surfaces he can find. This is the only place in the house he can't reach, and he freaked out for days trying to get to those flowers. No dice, buddy!
posted by something something at 6:35 AM on January 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


This is four minutes and fifty-six seconds of cats. I would like the four additional seconds you have promised. Thank you.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:36 AM on January 27, 2015 [23 favorites]


That, plus about a thousand hours a day sleeping, is actually a pretty good facsimile of what life with a cat is like.
posted by Itaxpica at 6:37 AM on January 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


If there is a kitty Olympics, this one deserves a spot on the team.
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 6:39 AM on January 27, 2015 [4 favorites]


First I was like "Man, that cat is crazy" but then I saw she was a mottled tortie and realized "crazy calico".

It's all fun and games until she starts spraying the bed.
posted by fiercekitten at 6:40 AM on January 27, 2015


I love nutbar kitties. Especially when they're talky.
posted by Kitteh at 6:42 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is four minutes and fifty-six seconds of cats. I would like the four additional seconds you have promised. Thank you.

You're absolutely right and I apologize. Here you go.
posted by phunniemee at 6:43 AM on January 27, 2015 [24 favorites]


Thank you. It's this kind of quality service that will continue to drive customers such as myself to your posts.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:46 AM on January 27, 2015 [25 favorites]


Wait, are mottled torties known to be crazy? Because, if that cat was a little stripier, I would have been pretty sure it was Triceratops (she is crazy).
posted by ChuraChura at 6:46 AM on January 27, 2015


Just a cat doing cat stuff
posted by exogenous at 6:53 AM on January 27, 2015 [4 favorites]


I'm so glad my kitten is normal crazy and not crazy crazy.
posted by janey47 at 6:54 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


My cat started having a conversation with that cat.
posted by desjardins at 7:02 AM on January 27, 2015 [6 favorites]


That look around 1:10.

Owner/Slave: "whatcha doing?"
Cat/Master: "...nothing"
posted by arcticseal at 7:02 AM on January 27, 2015


I don't know that cat, but we all know that cat.

Who knew towel racks make great cat chin-up bars?
posted by 724A at 7:06 AM on January 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


Wait, are mottled torties known to be crazy?

Very yes. Source: My mother has five and they're all lunatics.
posted by pemberkins at 7:31 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Nice kitty, decent beard, dang that's a shitty, soulless apartment.
posted by MartinWisse at 7:31 AM on January 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


...he freaked out for days trying to get to those flowers.

The thing is, what else do they have going on?
posted by amtho at 8:04 AM on January 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is four minutes and fifty-six seconds of cats. I would like the four additional seconds you have promised. Thank you.

Here

With three bonus seconds!
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:12 AM on January 27, 2015


Nice kitty, decent beard, dang that's a shitty, soulless apartment.

Yeah, that looked like all the apartment complex apartments my friends in South Carolina lived in at some point or another.
posted by Kitteh at 8:18 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


whose idea was it to put beige carpet in all the apartments?
posted by thelonius at 8:51 AM on January 27, 2015


Excellent use of portrait-mode for doorframe-climbing cat.
posted by deludingmyself at 9:05 AM on January 27, 2015


God forbid my nutjob somehow discovers that it's possible to climb the door jamb like a tree.
posted by mudpuppie at 9:53 AM on January 27, 2015


Does what it says on the tin, all-time grand champion nominee.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:17 AM on January 27, 2015


I have never won the cat vs. fitted sheet battle.
posted by bibliowench at 10:38 AM on January 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


I have never won the cat vs. fitted sheet battle.

One time I was changing my sheets and I was in kind of a rush so it was one of those fling all the pillows around wildly type situations. My dog was somewhere in the mix hopping around and whining (he gets anxious when I do chores) but then the whining stopped so I figured he left the room. Fling the pillows back to the head of the bed, toss the comforter on, leave the room.

Where is the dog? Can't find the dog. Truman, Truuuuumaaan, no answer. I check all his usual spots. No dog. Then I get down on my knees to check and see if he's maybe really far under the bed, which back when I had a different bed frame he would sometimes get stuck under there, and my dog is stupid so doesn't know to make noise when he's stuck. Still no dog. Weird. I go to hoist myself back up, put my hand on the foot of the bed, and...hey, this is suspiciously squishy.

As you may have gathered by now, I had made the dog up in the bedsheets. He was curled up between the fitted and flat sheets under a few blanket layers and a comforter, completely silent and unmoving. Is there even oxygen in there? Who knows. Silly dog.
posted by phunniemee at 10:51 AM on January 27, 2015 [7 favorites]


Oh for the love of God, not AGAIN!
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 10:52 AM on January 27, 2015


Nthing the tortoise-hair calico cats are particularly nuts, even for cats. They're all yodeling, ghost-chasing, obsessive plastic bag lickers.

My highly scientific theory is that calicos are what happens when you shove too many cats and too much cat into one cat. This results in some kind of cat over-unity or excessive pressurization scenario that leads to some very strange phenomenon. This can be accurately measured in handy units of cats-per-volume called Cat, with standard SI units like milliCats and kiloCats and god forbid megaCats.

MegaCats can be measured, though. As multiple cats are kept in a particular space, there's an exponential increase in measurable Cat per volume. IE, 2 standard model cats actually measure as 2.5ish Cat. 3 cats measures as nearly 10 Cat, and so on. 10 standard cats can measure as high as 500 kCats, depending on relativistic factors and peak velocities.

And, so, using this theory I have observed and directly measured calico/tortoiseshell cats that measure as high as 3,450-ish milliCats per actual standard volume of cat.

These unusual phenomena are usually especially apparent where the totally freaky cat in question is a very small, skinny mottled tortisehair mix with obvious defined patches of the entire gamut of standard tabby/sable/tuxedo/etc markings mixed in, possessing two or more or changing eye colors, and also of exceedingly fine, longer puffy hair over a shorter coat as though said cat also wants to be a longhaired and shorthaired cat simultaneously.

(I have yet to meet a cat that had the above attributes and who was also polydactyl, but my mind reels and gibbers at the thought.)

It is in these particular examples of cat that - when we adjust for actual cat volume and surface area, discarding the standard volume model - that we can directly measure wildly fluctuating densities of Cat with observable peaks in the 10-15 kiloCat range crammed into a package that is somehow about 1/3rd of a standard volume of cat, yet paradoxically as much as 4 times the surface area of that same standard volume.

It is safe to say that after making these measurements and observation I am no longer surprised to see a tortoiseshell levitate across the room at some weird, freaky sideways angle, appear to vanish or reappear, or otherwise break polite physics.

Because my theories and measurements strongly suggest we might not be observing only one singular cat, and said specimens of tortoiseshell calico cats in particular may be displaying and utilizing flaws in the multiverse with alarming regularity.
posted by loquacious at 11:18 AM on January 27, 2015 [31 favorites]


I have a straight up gorgeous pure tortie female who is so strange that one of our common comments is that we live with a "tiny mental goblin."
posted by Kitteh at 11:25 AM on January 27, 2015


If someone has a cat who acts like this on a regular basis and you find the behavior is too much then the solution is to get your cat a playmate. This cat is adorable but probably bored.
posted by schroedinger at 11:47 AM on January 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


(I have yet to meet a cat that had the above attributes and who was also polydactyl, but my mind reels and gibbers at the thought.)

I've met one. She put my mother in the hospital once.
posted by pemberkins at 11:47 AM on January 27, 2015 [4 favorites]


My roommates in grad school had a cat like that. One night we were sitting in the second story living room and it jumped out the window, sailed over the balcony and landed on the street. Broke a toe, stuck in a cast for 2 months, learned nothing at all.
posted by fshgrl at 12:23 PM on January 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


Triceratops has a poor, put-upon feline companion named Sadie. Sadie does nothing but sit and look aggrieved while Triceratops yodels at us and chases reflections from car windows driving by and howls at the ghosts in the wall and plays fetch with bottle caps. Sometimes she sleeps in the bathtub where it is quiet; Triceratops gets distracted by the mirror on the bathroom door and yodels at it.
posted by ChuraChura at 12:47 PM on January 27, 2015 [4 favorites]


I have two youngish cats (sisters, not torties) who pretty much act like this (especially when we get home from work), and one much older cat that tries to play along for a bit but really is too fat to keep up.
posted by kjs3 at 1:18 PM on January 27, 2015


Might be time to switch to decaf.
posted by uosuaq at 2:07 PM on January 27, 2015


While I was watching this cat my two cats kept looking around for where the sound of the meowing was coming from. They don't have much reaction to human voices, but any time I watch a cat video they want to know what's going on.
posted by bile and syntax at 3:00 PM on January 27, 2015


When my pugnacious tabby girl passed I brought in a tortie with a similar face (face shapes matter). She's not hypercrazy by any means, but she's definitely cat turned up to 11, even with three fellow cats to keep her company and a near full time resident person.
posted by wotsac at 4:09 PM on January 27, 2015


Girl cats in general are a little more pugnacious than boy cats (especially when comparing unaltered females to altered males) - I've slowly been collecting tidbits of HOW and it basically comes down to it's all hers, all of it, all the time. Way more than our male cat, who really just wants food.

Calicoes are all that plus, because they're basically girl cat times 2.
posted by fiercekitten at 5:58 PM on January 27, 2015


Yes, those are cats.

I completely understand why the cat was on the bed. When there is a bed positioned in a corner, you are required to put the fitted sheet onto the corner of the bed actually in the corner, then fix the sheet on the other three corners. It's like some kind of common sense law that dude is breaking. No wonder the cat is upset.
(and where the heck is the mattress pad. Are you some kind of animal?)
posted by BlueHorse at 8:40 PM on January 27, 2015


Our strapping ginger cat has been having ... difficulties ... with a cute little Burmese from next door, and I think it's making him paranoid. He was fast asleep on the bed in the next room when I started playing that. By the time it was half over he was perched alertly in the open front window, trying to spot the invader.

(He's losing the war with our neighbour, even though he is twice her size. She's feisty.)
posted by Autumn Leaf at 8:30 PM on January 28, 2015


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