ಠ_ಠ
February 10, 2015 9:48 AM   Subscribe

 
Best way, really.
posted by Gelatin at 9:49 AM on February 10, 2015 [7 favorites]


I disagree with Dr. Phil's reaction to the daughter's reaction.
posted by orme at 9:53 AM on February 10, 2015 [4 favorites]


Wow, that was awkward.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:54 AM on February 10, 2015 [3 favorites]


So, I'm unemployed, and because I make bad choices I've watched a bit of Dr. Phil and Family Feud with my idle daytime hours. Both of those shows could be whittled down to 7 minutes or less if you took out all the gratuitous Phil and Steve Harvey mugging for the camera.

Both men are bald and have mustaches. Coincidence? Or conspiracy.
posted by phunniemee at 9:58 AM on February 10, 2015 [9 favorites]


I was laughing so hard all of my co-workers were giving me funny looks. I showed one of them, and they just didn't get it. I'm not sure what that says about me. I don't even know what I find so funny about the awkwardness.

Brilliantly cut.
posted by mayonnaises at 10:00 AM on February 10, 2015 [12 favorites]


This is kind of fantastic, like the elimination round of some bizarre game show called Staring Contest. I'd be curious to see if there's a big qualitative difference in feel if you gave this same treatment to a number of other shlocky talk shows.

Both of those shows could be whittled down to 7 minutes or less if you took out all the gratuitous Phil and Steve Harvey mugging for the camera.

There was in fact a post a while back about a video of FF with just the game show bits.
posted by cortex at 10:01 AM on February 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


Very, very strangely compelling. Riveting. I think I'll watch it again - there is depth here.
posted by parki at 10:01 AM on February 10, 2015


Awkward, silent, exploitative tension is pretty much how we get medical care in the United States, now. Also see: Doug Stanhope.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:03 AM on February 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


I've never seen this doctor. Is this a real doctor?
posted by bigendian at 10:05 AM on February 10, 2015


Works even better with some Imogen Heap.
posted by cortex at 10:06 AM on February 10, 2015 [12 favorites]


I've never seen this doctor. Is this a real doctor?

If you're actually serious - Dr. Phil.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:08 AM on February 10, 2015


The awkward silence is painful to me. I almost didn't finish watching it.
posted by Fizz at 10:11 AM on February 10, 2015


> I've never seen this doctor. Is this a real doctor?

Not any more:
Appearing on the Today Show in January 2008, McGraw said that he has made it "very clear" that his current work does not involve the practice of psychology. He also said that he had "retired from psychology". According to the Today Show, the California Board of Psychology determined in 2002 that he did not require a license because his show involves "entertainment" rather than psychology.McGraw's license is currently listed by the Texas State Board of Psychology as "retired" and he holds no other active licenses to practice in any other state.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:16 AM on February 10, 2015 [7 favorites]


Now I know what a telepathic debate looks like.
posted by I-baLL at 10:18 AM on February 10, 2015 [4 favorites]


That was hilarious. Like mayonnaises (urk, grossest username evar) above, I don't know whay, but I was cracking up inappropriately at work.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:22 AM on February 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


The tension of a Mexican standoff, but without the empathy.
posted by sylvanshine at 10:27 AM on February 10, 2015 [3 favorites]


This is why you have to love the Intertoobs. I would never have seen this otherwise.
posted by Repack Rider at 10:32 AM on February 10, 2015


Works even better with some Imogen Heap.
I think it has more of a John Cage vibe.
posted by parrishioner at 10:37 AM on February 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


Dirty, silent laundry.
posted by davebush at 10:39 AM on February 10, 2015


This reminds me of that Game of Thrones 'awkward dinner' video a little while back. here
posted by Mogur at 10:53 AM on February 10, 2015 [6 favorites]


This was fascinating. The intro explained the situation, so the emotions were crystal clear. Most telling was Controlling Guy's absolute lack of affect. I hope they got better help than that stupid show is capable of.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:59 AM on February 10, 2015


Not any more:

I care less about Dr Phil's credentials than the fact he's an oafish, patronizing ass who should be mocked at every opportunity.

So yay this post!
posted by Hoopo at 11:08 AM on February 10, 2015


> Now I know what a telepathic debate looks like.

Yes! What this needs is some theremin.
posted by benito.strauss at 11:10 AM on February 10, 2015 [5 favorites]


I don't need the sound to see that Bad Boy John is on the path to Roid Raging Meathead Entity.

Run away, girl!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:27 AM on February 10, 2015


Still unwatchable, apparently. Quieter, though.
posted by Buttons Bellbottom at 11:30 AM on February 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


What is it with these American daytime shows?
Everyone is always so busy being silent, and silenting over each other, no one can get any silence in edgewise.
posted by chococat at 11:33 AM on February 10, 2015 [6 favorites]


There was in fact a post a while back about a video of FF with just the game show bits.

I think of this comment all the time and it always makes me laugh.
posted by roll truck roll at 11:37 AM on February 10, 2015




I wish they had a podcast of this.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:51 AM on February 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


Honestly Dr. Phil is a great entertainer with his whole no-nonsense homespun schtick. His show is super exploitative but you know that already.
posted by atoxyl at 11:51 AM on February 10, 2015


I hate these sorts of shows with the heat of a thousand suns, and I just spit coffee out of my nose laughing at this.
posted by desuetude at 12:07 PM on February 10, 2015 [3 favorites]


Typical Dr. Phil show:

1) Introduce sociopaths who will be today's subjects. This usually involves massively dysfunctional parents and an out of control teenager with zero empathy waiting back stage.

2) Spend lots of time trying to pit one parent against the other as far as who is the worst enabler that created the little monster waiting back stage.

3) Give parents advice by hawking your latest book. Hand the mother a tissue, because by now she is most certainly crying for being a horrible parent who spawned a demon child.

4) Go back stage to interview the demon child alone. Show footage of demon child at home throwing enraged tantrums for not getting her way. This involves physical violence, threats to kill one or both parents, drug abuse, and sexual promiscuity. At the end of interview, ask demon child if she is willing to join the rest of the family on stage. Demon child agrees. Cut to 18th commercial.

5) On stage, highlight all that is wrong with demon child's self destructive behavior. But emphasize to her that you think she is a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant, loving child who could live a good life if only she expelled the demon from her soul.

6) Tell the parents and the demon child that the Dr. Phil show is going to provide all the resources necessary to give the family, and especially demon child, then help they need. This involves shipping demon child off to a ranch somewhere in Texas where the staff and peers will beat the demon out of her before she returns to her family. Demon child reluctantly agrees and is crying.

7) At the very end of the show, come back to explain to the audience that demon child had a change of heart. But the parents gave the OK for Dr. Phil's henchmen to forcibly put demon child in a car (screaming, and maybe spitting if it is a really good show) and send her to the airport where she will be taken against her will to that ranch in Texas.

8) Once again hawk your latest book, and whatever your stupid sons are doing. Then walk off stage arm and arm with your wife who has been observing the guests with a look of horror on her face.
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 12:09 PM on February 10, 2015 [12 favorites]


What's the nonverbal for DTMFA?
posted by hot_monster at 12:14 PM on February 10, 2015


Can we make this into a TiVO feature that'll work on ALL daytime television?
posted by Groot at 12:23 PM on February 10, 2015


What's the nonverbal for DTMFA?

*slices finger across throat while displaying appropriate grimace*
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:34 PM on February 10, 2015


This is my everything.
posted by Sreiny at 12:42 PM on February 10, 2015


I care less about Dr Phil's credentials than the fact he's an oafish, patronizing ass who should be mocked at every opportunity.

Then you will probably agree with me when I assert that it appears he may have eaten one or more of his guests recently.
posted by notreally at 12:50 PM on February 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


1. For some reason, I like to think of situations where I'd inevitably find myself on the same side as someone whose ideas and persona I loathe. So, like, what if Dr. Phil and I were sent back in time to like 1600 and had to deal with a bunch of superstitious villagers and he and I were united in our basic modernity and I found myself saying, "no, really, it's germs that cause disease! Phil, you'll back me on this, right?"

2. This. Just this.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 1:03 PM on February 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


parrishioner: I think it has more of a John Cage vibe.

See also CAGE DOES CAGE.
posted by Vendar at 1:29 PM on February 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


I like how this edit makes the DLS content warning become moot.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 2:24 PM on February 10, 2015


This is fantastic and I loved it, but when it comes right down to it I prefer Dr. Phil without the dialogue or visuals.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:26 PM on February 10, 2015


Lost my shit at the second chair squeak.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:33 PM on February 10, 2015


Did they create the audio from scratch, or do the random noises from each cut just fit together well enough not to notice the cuts?
posted by Fleeno at 3:06 PM on February 10, 2015


They should replace the soundtrack with Benny Hill sound effects.
posted by clvrmnky at 5:34 PM on February 10, 2015


Obligatory.
posted by ostranenie at 5:40 PM on February 10, 2015


I bet that if you edited these reactions into a movie that also included Jean Claude van Damme's green screen snippets you could come up with a hell of a movie!
posted by small_ruminant at 5:47 PM on February 10, 2015


They should replace the soundtrack with Benny Hill sound effects.

I came in here to say the same thing.
posted by mazola at 9:34 PM on February 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


Did they create the audio from scratch, or do the random noises from each cut just fit together well enough not to notice the cuts?

Pretty sure it's all added in, and the camera was getting their reactions while someone else was talking. And I don't think there'd be nearly enough moments of awkward silence to provide enough material for this.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 11:18 PM on February 10, 2015


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