Fund THIS, Venture Capital...
February 13, 2015 12:08 PM   Subscribe

The Internet of Useless Things is a parody site full of bad 'connected-ness' ideas,
like FitSpoon, "a connected spoon that tracks your eating speed and compares with others via a cloud database. When you’re eating too fast, holes open in the spoon releasing the contents."
and the euphemism-filled ThroneMaster that lets you "gamify your daily motions."

A side project from rehabstudio, where they "create digital brand experiences that live online, mobile and in the real world, employing a unique creative process based on the principles of hacking to help clients solve business and communication problems using creativity and technology," with clients like Google, Virgin Mobile, RedBull and KFC, and all without any irony. 🍔
posted by oneswellfoop (29 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
Shh... don't give the VCs any ideas...
posted by Cash4Lead at 12:13 PM on February 13, 2015


It's like Halfbakery with pretty pictures. Neat.
posted by Thing at 12:14 PM on February 13, 2015 [2 favorites]


Reminds me of the halfbakery, which is still up.
posted by thelonius at 12:14 PM on February 13, 2015 [2 favorites]


"Meet the Stress Buster. Knows when you’re stressed, and sounds an escalating alarm to remind you to calm down."

"Please calm down. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to please calm down. SIR, WON'T YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN!? WHY WON'T YOU CALM DOWN, FOR @#$!'S SAKE!?"
posted by surazal at 12:16 PM on February 13, 2015 [5 favorites]


Seems to me, some of the actual proposed IOT appliances would not look out-of-place on that site.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:17 PM on February 13, 2015


BookMk II is likely the best of the lot.
posted by Thing at 12:17 PM on February 13, 2015


I actually thought the ring that tweets an announcement of your death was pretty funny, in a morbid way. The mock tweet saying thanks to all the followers sells it.
posted by GreyboxHero at 12:23 PM on February 13, 2015 [3 favorites]


Halfbakery is still up? That's brilliant.
posted by Braeburn at 12:28 PM on February 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


I think I'd actually buy the BookMk II if I saw it in real life.

But then I actually own one of these so it's probably fair to say that I'm quite susceptable to owning pointless internet-enabled devices purely for shits and giggles.

In my defence I got it as part-payment for writing an article about the history of tea in WW2. I think they were slightly surprised I accepted it though.
posted by garius at 12:33 PM on February 13, 2015


That BeatTweeter would be a pretty useful gadget, actually.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 12:44 PM on February 13, 2015


Honestly, how far is that spoon from this (allegedly) actual thing?
posted by Naberius at 12:44 PM on February 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


I love the idea for stress sirens.
posted by oceanjesse at 12:59 PM on February 13, 2015 [3 favorites]


Needs to include the House of the Future from Mr. Show. "I am a televison set, did you hear me?? A TV!" Now with celebrity voices!
posted by dialetheia at 1:07 PM on February 13, 2015


Stress alarm audible
Tackling apparatus deployed
Straitjacket ejected

Crisis averted
posted by BlueHorse at 1:26 PM on February 13, 2015


How about Sunn? It's a light that gets brighter as the sun goes up.

That's literally what it is, and that is the exact opposite of what lights are for. Also, a light that gets brighter as the sun goes up is called A WINDOW.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 1:30 PM on February 13, 2015 [10 favorites]


Reminded me of Bored Elon Musk.
posted by TwoWordReview at 1:33 PM on February 13, 2015


Seriously! These guys should work together!
posted by TwoWordReview at 1:35 PM on February 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


Just for grins, I'm a member of the "austin startups" Facebook group.

Now I know where the folks there are cribbing their ideas from.
posted by adamrice at 2:01 PM on February 13, 2015


the euphemism-filled ThroneMaster that lets you "gamify your daily motions."

You sank my BattleSHIT!
posted by jonp72 at 2:18 PM on February 13, 2015


writing an article about the history of tea in WW2.

What, no link?
posted by MartinWisse at 2:22 PM on February 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


But then I actually own one of these so it's probably fair to say that I'm quite susceptable to owning pointless internet-enabled devices purely for shits and giggles.

Reminds me of this: Internet Connected Toasters: A history
posted by Fizz at 2:45 PM on February 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


I like this and similar efforts like the Stupid Shit No One Needs and Terrible Ideas Hackathon.

"Holder is an iPhone app that tells you if you're currently holding your phone."
"Tweet Your Food ... tweets every time you take a bite of food."
posted by Monochrome at 2:49 PM on February 13, 2015


There's not a single thing here I'd be surprised to find on Kickstarter for real.
posted by mbrubeck at 2:58 PM on February 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's like Tumblr without the Permalinks.
posted by srboisvert at 3:12 PM on February 13, 2015


What, no link?

Sadly not. I forfeited that right (well, temporarily at least).

The things an Englishman will do for a wifi enabled kettle...
posted by garius at 4:02 PM on February 13, 2015


I've said it before and I'll say it again: the real breakthrough technologies will only come about when we social networkatize (socialize?) these systems.

Frankly the Social Network of Things (SNoT) will blow the IoT right off the Information Superhighway.

In all seriousness though, I make stuff like this for fun and profit. The core premise isn't that difficult to grasp - you take an ordinary everyday object and connect it to a service. If the service is garbage, it follows the IoT version of your normal, everyday object will be too. What's tricky is it's profoundly unintuitive what objects benefit from what services. Most of them suck. Some are kind of cool.
posted by pmg at 5:07 PM on February 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


In an incredible synchronicity of real life and MeFi, I've recently taken a new job and work two days a week from a co-working space where I get to hear ideas about this brilliant get pitched right outside our doorway which has no door.

The other 5 days a week I can work from home and actually get things done.
posted by randomkeystrike at 7:11 PM on February 13, 2015


"Please calm down. Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to please calm down. SIR, WON'T YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN!? WHY WON'T YOU CALM DOWN, FOR @#$!'S SAKE!?"

I WOULD EFFIN' CALM DOWN IF THERE WASN'T THAT DAMN NOISE BLARING AND ALL OF YOU WOULD STOP THE DAMN SCREAMING ALREADY!
posted by Samizdata at 7:32 PM on February 13, 2015


wait, so is the video of the guy with the yoga guru hair taking about "hacking" advertising for real?
posted by ennui.bz at 2:31 AM on February 14, 2015


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