You can pry my Yorkie out of my cold, dead hands.
February 16, 2015 4:40 PM   Subscribe

The Chocolate Wars... Begun, They Have. The Great Chocolate War began when Hershey sued two food importers, claiming that they infringed on the trademarks that Hershey has had since acquiring Cadbury’s US operations in the 1980s. Hershey said it noticed the British versions were starting to show up on the shelves of bigger US retailers, and not just the specialty shops, as demand for the imported chocolates grew.
posted by modernnomad (84 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
Fuck that garbage Hershey brown wax bullshit nothingness.

It's not chocolate. It's the ground up ash of the American Dream.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 4:46 PM on February 16, 2015 [77 favorites]


NOT FOR GIRLS!
posted by srboisvert at 4:52 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Yeah, when did Hershey start making chocolate? I thought those bars were kits for making your own scented candles.
posted by uosuaq at 4:56 PM on February 16, 2015 [21 favorites]


Cadbury's isn't much better- I mean, a British Dairy Milk doesn't have the weird vomit-y aftertaste, but it does still have the horrible waxy gritty bits.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:03 PM on February 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yeah, when did Hershey start making chocolate? I thought those bars were kits for making your own scented candles.

There is this but it's licensed, not made by Hershey. You can tell because it probably tastes better than a Hershey Bar.
posted by nathan_teske at 5:09 PM on February 16, 2015


It's a lost battle anyway, they're barely worth your bother importing them. Mondelez (Kraft) has been gutting Cadbury's since it bought it.

Turning Dairy Milk into some bubble-shaped nonsense to hide their shrinking of the bar was one thing, but fucking up the Creme Egg was the last straw. So now I'm boycotting them too.
posted by bonaldi at 5:11 PM on February 16, 2015 [5 favorites]


What do you expect from the asshats who wanted the FDA to redefine what chocolate is so they could make it more cheaply.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 5:15 PM on February 16, 2015 [9 favorites]


Girl please, like you're gonna make a s'more with a Cadbury product.
posted by oceanjesse at 5:16 PM on February 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


I will defend the one Hershey product I like, purchase and eat:

Mounds!

Mounds uses dark chocolate, not the candlewax found on its sister Almond Joy, and through the rest of the Hershey candyverse.
I have also noticed that they seem to be disappearing--many shops (in Northeast USA, my current turf) are out of them, though Almond Joy, its milky, nut-encumbered cousin is available everywhere. But at least 'mini' Mounds are still around--or are they all Halloween leftovers?

And once in a great while, I have a Hershey bar. Just checking; they still taste like more like candles than candies.

NB--the Hershey store on Times Square (on Broadway, opposite the M&M shop with the huge animated sign and an incredible, but ultimately uninteresting, variety of M&M colors), does have several edible products. But a one-pound Hershey bar? No one deserves that!
posted by hexatron at 5:20 PM on February 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


I first tried Hershey when I visited the US and I thought that my hosts had played some sort of horrible trick on me.

It turned out that the trick was being played on a whole country. The fiends.
posted by nfalkner at 5:22 PM on February 16, 2015 [14 favorites]


As long as they're not messing with the Terry's oranges, I don't care what they do to Cadbury now that the creme eggs have been changed up. Sadly Mondelez owns Terry's too, so it's only a matter of time.
posted by immlass at 5:23 PM on February 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


What's kind of surprising is that the Walgreens generic brand is actually pretty good.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:26 PM on February 16, 2015


I first tried Hershey when I visited the US and I thought that my hosts had played some sort of horrible trick on me.

It turned out that the trick was being played on a whole country. The fiends.


Most Americans with taste buds tend to have realized by now that better chocolate exists. I mean for christs sake it was an entire fad in the 2000s to hate on Hershey's, and it's 2015. Hershey's as a whole is aimed at the 0-8 years and 60-80 year old population; people lacking taste buds.
posted by kurosawa's pal at 5:27 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Cadbury's isn't much better- I mean, a British Dairy Milk doesn't have the weird vomit-y aftertaste, but it does still have the horrible waxy gritty bits.

Do not try Canadian Cadbury's if you think the British stuff is bad.
posted by srboisvert at 5:30 PM on February 16, 2015


With Eastern Europeans in the house, we're a Milka chocolate bar family. Those are good eating.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 5:31 PM on February 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


kurosawa's pal -- I am right in the middle of 60-80 year old group and a deeply resent your fallacious characterisation. As would , I am sure, anyone in the 0-8 cohort.
posted by hexatron at 5:33 PM on February 16, 2015 [7 favorites]


fucking up the Creme Egg was the last straw

"No, they have not gotten smaller. You've gotten bigger."

posted by Sys Rq at 5:39 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


I just want Sweden's equivalent, Marabou. It's made by Kraft too, but it has lots of interesting flavors. Also, comes in big straightforward bars, which is refreshing.
posted by BungaDunga at 5:39 PM on February 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Going off-topic, I recently got a purported raspberry chocolate bar. It was a little expensive and had kind of a new-agey label. It was gritty and nearly tasteless, too.

I used to like the Godiva raspberry chocolate candies that came in their assortments.

Is there a good one of these? Google says all the companies make raspberry chocolate stuff; are there really superior ones? Best ones?

(I know this kind of thing make purists puke. I also drink mostly <$10 wines. Think of it as CandyFestivusForTheRestofus.)
posted by hexatron at 5:41 PM on February 16, 2015


"Unlike British chocolate’s socialist aspiration of happiness, a Hershey bar delivers the pure American taste of shareholder value and brown." - @benward on Twitter
posted by mhoye at 6:00 PM on February 16, 2015 [31 favorites]


Totally off topic but Robert Cormier's The Chocolate War is one of the darkest YA novels with a cute title ever. Along with I Am The Cheese.
posted by kmz at 6:07 PM on February 16, 2015 [8 favorites]


Man, chocolate snobs are just as unbearable as their beer and coffee cousins.
posted by Sangermaine at 6:07 PM on February 16, 2015 [23 favorites]


Because happiness is a finite universal quantity, and your unhappiness increases every time somebody else discovers what makes them happy?
posted by ardgedee at 6:10 PM on February 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


Theo Chocolate or GTFO.
posted by tonycpsu at 6:12 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Hersheys literally tastes like vomit, because of the butyric acid.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 6:23 PM on February 16, 2015 [8 favorites]


I have never been as happy as when I discovered the German Store down the street from me that carries Marabou chocolate. Nothing else comes even close to it. I use Lindt bars for s'mores, and Marabou for eating, and you can't MAKE me eat the waxy brown stuff any more.

(The fact that they carry Tyrkisk Peber licorice is a bonus!)
posted by gemmy at 6:25 PM on February 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Dove dark chocolate is not a bad substitute for Hershey.
posted by notreally at 6:27 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's no longer hard to not buy a hershey bar in the US -- unless you do all your shopping at 7-11.
posted by smidgen at 6:28 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


And you don't even have to buy an import, just something less... diluted by corporate expansion.
posted by smidgen at 6:29 PM on February 16, 2015


Somebody needs to invent a cancer that corporations can get.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:29 PM on February 16, 2015 [20 favorites]


The most absurd part of this is that Hershey's response to obvious customer demand is not to make products that meet that demand but instead tell customers that what they want is wrong and by God we're going to teach you a lesson.

The wisdom of the market, eh?
posted by modernnomad at 6:30 PM on February 16, 2015 [33 favorites]


British chocolate? I never knew they grew cocoa in the UK. I would have expected it was too cold.
posted by GuyZero at 6:32 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I've had some Green & Black's, you can get it here now, it's pretty good, but not amazing-oh-my-god good.

I am intrigued by this Marabou of which you speak.

I remember a distinct sense of disappointment at Cadbury's when I was overseas 20 years ago, and had heard so much about better UK chocolates, so if they've gotten worse now, I don't want to know about it.

Hershey was good when I was a kid, but then so were stale Ho Ho's and Chef Boy-ar-Dee and cocktail weenies and deviled ham. Once I had actual good food, I couldn't go back.
posted by emjaybee at 6:33 PM on February 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


I had posted about this a week or so back, but at the time it was removed due to a similar story having been posted too recently... http://www.metafilter.com/146463/There-Will-No-Longer-Be-Real-Cadburys-in-the-US is the remaining hidden link.
posted by Peregrine Pickle at 6:42 PM on February 16, 2015


No love for Endangered Species chocolate? They have a milk chocolate bar that's like 50% cocoa and it's divine.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 6:46 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ok, I am just going to come right out and say it, but I enjoy a Hershey bar every once in a while like I enjoy a Domino's pizza once in a while even though I know it is not good pizza. (Vincent's Pizza Willis Ave!).
posted by 724A at 6:48 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Given the upheaval when twinkies left the shelves, I kinda think this is what we, as american consumers, deserve..
posted by k5.user at 6:48 PM on February 16, 2015


The most absurd part of this is that Hershey's response to obvious customer demand is not to make products that meet that demand but instead tell customers that what they want is wrong and by God we're going to teach you a lesson.

One of the first principles they talk about in economics is called "Pareto Efficiency", which is an umbrella term for a model in which all of the participants are perfectly competitive, all market participants have complete or "perfect" information, a couple of things in that vein. It's all 100% bullshit, obviously, and has no connection whatsoever with any exchange in the history of human experience, but my goodness it makes the graphs in their thesis papers look great, so a founding axiom they're committed to it.

If you, like me, have ever gone looking for a paper justifying the Pareto model only to discover it is behind a paywall, you might have questions about how any economist in the world manages to sleep at night, but let's put that aside for the moment.

My point here is this: if you can avoid it, competing on the merits is not what you want to do at all, ever. If you're an incumbent, and somebody else makes a better product than you do, competing on those terms is a sucker's game. Instead, you want to prevent them from exposing your customers to their product, so they don't even know a choice is possible, much less that they have better options. Making sure people don't have choices, or better yet don't know those choices even exist, that's way, way more profitable than competing.
posted by mhoye at 6:53 PM on February 16, 2015 [39 favorites]


I ate stale Cinnamon Toast Crunch the other day and it was amazing. I ate the whole box in a single sitting, it barely filled a bowl and a half. It cost me $9 Australian.

Something I didn't know: Cinnamon Toast Crunch is 'America's #1 Source of Whole Grain at Breakfast'.

Fact: Cinnamon Toast Crunch is literally sugar that has been milled & lathed to look like little toasts.

So when Americans talk about which configuration of sugar is better than which other configuration, I take their comments seriously. Except when they talk about which type of Cadbury's is better without mentioning Australian Cadbury's, which is the ultimate Cadbury's.

Also Australian Cadbury's is now smaller, so they've obviously got our waists in mind!
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:00 PM on February 16, 2015 [7 favorites]


That's a dubious definition of Pareto Efficiency. Pareto Efficiency means there's no alternate feasible allocation in an economy that everyone prefers. It's a pretty boring and reasonable thing to want. You're conflating PE, and theories that suggest markets will necessarily arrive at PE equilibria – those theories are the waxy, butyric acid-laden theories you may wish to turn up your nose at.
posted by ~ at 7:28 PM on February 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Australian Cadbury's, which is the ultimate Cadbury's.

I've never had British Cadbury's, only Australian Cadbury's (you can see the silos full of cocoa at the factory in Hobart from my house, and I have a box of factory seconds in my pantry). However, I've heard British people complain bitterly that Australian Cadbury's is inedible to them because "they add something to it to stop it melting in the Australian heat". I don't know if that's bullshit or not.
posted by Jimbob at 7:40 PM on February 16, 2015


turbid is correct. Australian Cadbury's is the ultimate Cadbury's. One chocolate to rule them all and in the dark-chocolate bind them.
posted by Neale at 7:47 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Cadbury's snobs are nearly as unbearable as chocolate snobs.
posted by uosuaq at 8:14 PM on February 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


Before 2000 British Cadbury weren't even allowed to sell their product (which I just learned should really be called "vegelate" due to vegetable oil replacing the cocoa butter) in the rest of Europe. So y'all are saying there's something even worse than British Cadbury?
posted by yoHighness at 8:16 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


So wait, this fuss is actually about Cadbury? I thought it was about chocolate.
posted by happyroach at 8:31 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's pretty cool that so many on Metafilter somehow ended up with such refined, precious, finely-tuned taste buds, I must say. Bravo.
posted by Jimbob at 8:38 PM on February 16, 2015 [8 favorites]


A lot of the best "UK" chocolate is made by Nestlé (technically Swiss) e.g. Kit Kats with actual flavour unlike the terrible US Kit Kats made by Hershey (Reese is Hershey).

Also fuck people who say to boycott Nestlé because they make baby formula : my kid would have died without formula.
posted by w0mbat at 8:44 PM on February 16, 2015


This is what the boycott Nestle campaign is/was about. You would still have been able to get formula for your child. Christ.
posted by rtha at 8:49 PM on February 16, 2015 [28 favorites]


hexatron, tonypcsu has your back. Theo's raspberry dark chocolate, like pretty much everything they make, is fantastic.
posted by SirNovember at 8:52 PM on February 16, 2015


However, I've heard British people complain bitterly that Australian Cadbury's is inedible to them because "they add something to it to stop it melting in the Australian heat". I don't know if that's bullshit or not.

Yeah I've heard that too. No idea if it's true, but the recipe is definitely different because I've had Pombury's and it's awful. I suppose the secret ingredient they add, to stop it from melting in the Australian heat, is "extra deliciousness".
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:59 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


hi I'm from Boulder, Colorado, and I'd like to introduce y'all to Chocolove.

you're welcome.
posted by lonefrontranger at 9:04 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't really think it's snobbery to point out that a gas station chocolate bar processed from cocoa harvested by child slaves might not be great. How many other corners do you suppose were cut before they got to child slavery as a cost-cutting measure?

Also fuck people who say to boycott Nestlé because they make baby formula : my kid would have died without formula.

The boycott isn't because they make formula, it's because they aggressively market it in poor countries to poor people, who don't have access to the sterile conditions and materials to prepare it safely, who can't afford much so they water it down to make it go further, and/or who can't read the label because it's written in a language they don't understand. It's about babies dying of disease and malnutrition for a quick profit, not some hippy-dippy "mother earth knows best" crap. If your kid needs it, buy it. The boycott has nothing to do with you.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:06 PM on February 16, 2015 [33 favorites]


Dove dark chocolate is not a bad substitute for Hershey.

A bar of soap I vomited on would not be a bad substitute for Hershey.

Also, Ritter Sport for daily chocolate needs. And whatever the bars they always have near checkouts at Metro, I've never paid much attention to the label but they're real chocolate and free of vomit flavour. The dark with orange is particularly nice.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:09 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


You know who makes good chocolate? Iceland. And the packaging is the best, as well.
posted by Windigo at 9:10 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


A bar of soap I vomited on would not be a bad substitute for Hershey.

Only if it was poo-flavoured soap! *high five*
posted by turbid dahlia at 9:28 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I lived in Europe for long enough to know that both Hersheys and Cadburys are absolute crap. Except for the Creme Eggs, which have been spoiled by, as mentioned before, Mondelez. But of course that's the same outfit that put pork gelatin in my favorite flavor of Trident gum, so why not ruin everything else they make as well?

In summary, Belgium for chocolates and we'll have to live with Stimirol or something.
posted by 1adam12 at 9:35 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Somebody needs to invent a cancer that corporations can get.
They did.
It was called Democracy.
But its been cured.
posted by fullerine at 9:57 PM on February 16, 2015 [8 favorites]


SirNovember: hexatron, tonypcsu has your back. Theo's raspberry dark chocolate, like pretty much everything they make, is fantastic.

Yeah, that's the one that made me fall in love when we did the factory tour in Seattle. I went in telling my wife I'd never be paying $4 for a single chocolate bar, and then we left with ten of them.
posted by tonycpsu at 10:05 PM on February 16, 2015


Hersheys literally tastes like vomit, because of the butyric acid.

Really? That explains it. I had a Hersheys bar once. I thought it was just old chocolate that had gone off.

Pure anecdote on Australian versus British; occasionally I do eat a British Wispa or something like that when they're on sale, and I do think the chocolate is better in them. But then I think Australian Cadbury's seems to taste sweeter, blander and less chocolatey than it did 20 years ago, more like standard compound chocolate. I'm not sure whether that's true, or just my changed tastebuds and/or nostalgia.
posted by andraste at 11:27 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I found Lindt high-percentage bars to be pretty good and not quite so horrifically overpriced as other specialty chocolatiers.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:33 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Imma let you finish, but South African Cadbury's is the greatest chocolate of all time! OF ALL TIME!
posted by PenDevil at 11:34 PM on February 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Dairy Milk now have rounded edges. It's been a long time since I cut my lip on a Dairy Milk. This is not a good thing.
posted by vbfg at 11:39 PM on February 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Mmmhhmm, Chocolate Belgium."

"Say ya Hom'ah, wise youz snoortin dat Nestles, there."
posted by clavdivs at 11:47 PM on February 16, 2015


What do you expect from the asshats who wanted the FDA to redefine what chocolate is so they could make it more cheaply.

You should be aware that what Hershey wanted to do in the US but couldn't, Cadbury UK has long been doing: removing the valuable cocoa butter and replacing it with hydrogenated vegetable oil. If you do that in the US you can't legally call it chocolate.

So really, most of the outrage around this issue seems to be completely wrong-footed; the Hershey version of Cadbury is the same recipe as Cadbury UK except without the substitution of ultra-cheap shitty transfats. So what the living hell is there to complain about?
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:00 AM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


May I introduce Chakalates, the chocolate line by Chaka Khan.
posted by Gin and Broadband at 12:21 AM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


I tried some Hershey's... once. And it is a real shame what has happened to Cadbury's.

Luckily, a friend of ours in Newcastle has just started an artisanal, hand-made, boutique chocolate business, and we are Official Tasters, Quality Assurers and Commenters on New Flavours. Boxes of samples arrive in the post, and this is a Good Thing.

(The Newcastle Brown ones were surprisingly good, but the ones containing blue cheese definitely need a bit of work)
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 12:29 AM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hersheys is sub-hamster-treat standard shite and now they're trying to ruin Cadburys with it.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 12:33 AM on February 17, 2015


I just want Sweden's equivalent, Marabou. It's made by Kraft too, but it has lots of interesting flavors.

Mondelēz, even (which is what Kraft call themselves these days). But that's just the current owner, the company is older than that, and was originally the Swedish branch of Norwegian Freia (which has a stork as their logo, but couldn't use their name in Sweden due to a trademark conflict).

Freia is also great (Walters Mandler is one of my absolute favourites), and so are bunch of the Swiss manufacturers (e.g. Cailler, founded by the guy who invented the chocolate bar is still around, currently owned by Nestlé). I'm also a fan of Ritter "Quadratisch. Praktisch. Gut." Sport, even if their flavours are sometimes a bit too interesting...

(talking mass marketed milk chocolate bars here, not the chocolate hipster market. That's an entirely different thing...)

(fwiw, those huge conglomerates like Kraft/Mondelez, Nestlé et al tend to be a lot about logistics and sales organizations. Occasionally they organize too much and fuck things up, but quite often they just own an established factory and the associated brands for a while, before passing it on to some other investors.)
posted by effbot at 1:51 AM on February 17, 2015


Hershey also claimed Nestle’s Yorkie chocolate bar infringed on the York Peppermint Pattie. Nestle’s Toffee Crisp was fingered for the sin of arriving in an orange wrapper, like the one that covers Hershey’s Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Holy shit no. That is not how you do things. Fuck Hershey.
posted by Spatch at 2:38 AM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


The thing of it is, Milton Hershey was a fascinating businessman and philanthropist. (Fun fact: his original signature product was caramel, not chocolate.) So the inedible products and odious business practices of the modern Hershey company pain me deeply.
posted by Flannery Culp at 4:18 AM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


So the inedible products and odious business practices of the modern Hershey company pain me deeply.

I had the chance to tour the old factory behind the scenes before it was closed. So much about Mr. Hershey's experiment has been lost, if not jettisoned with corporate glee.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:56 AM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Mounds!

Was that not one of the most epic commercial tags ever? If you're old enough, you're probably thinking "Sometimes you feel like a nut...." right now.

It's right up there with when someone asked to spell a particular luncheon meat and I just went "Oscar Meyer has a way..." and the whole room joined in "...with B O L O G N A."

588-2300. From the land of sky blue waters, WATERS!
posted by eriko at 7:11 AM on February 17, 2015


For half a second I thought the post title referred to the dog breed, and was heartily agreeing.
posted by aclevername at 7:50 AM on February 17, 2015


Given a choice between "make better chocolate" and "hire more lawyers", Hershey chose exactly what you'd expect them to choose.
posted by tommasz at 7:58 AM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I have fond memories of Yorkie bars from the corner garage during my time in the UK.

I'm spoiled now, though. I live in North Carolina and in my city we've got both Videri Chocolate Factory (note the obvious Wonka-ish styling) and Escazu which are fantastic. Not the same price as a Hershey bar but oh man ... that Escazu sea salt bar.
posted by freecellwizard at 8:20 AM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Most Americans with taste buds tend to have realized by now that better chocolate exists

And it isn't that even worse vegetable-oil Cadbury's.

Dove dark chocolate is not a bad substitute for Hershey.

Dove Chocolate is pretty good, similar to anything from Switzerland, Germany, or Belgium. Best source for inexpensive Belgian is currently Trader Joe's.
posted by Rash at 9:55 AM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ghirardelli (Lindt) 100% Unsweetened Chocolate Baking Bars for me. Or Seattle's Fran's Gold Bars.
Sic Transit Scharffen Berger - Hershey's killed them.
posted by Dreidl at 9:57 AM on February 17, 2015


Luckily, a friend of ours in Newcastle has just started an artisanal, hand-made, boutique chocolate business, and we are Official Tasters, Quality Assurers and Commenters on New Flavours. Boxes of samples arrive in the post, and this is a Good Thing.

how... how do I get involved with this glorious purveyor of heaven?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:16 AM on February 17, 2015


Nestlé stopped their third world subsidiaries from doing that dodgy baby formula marketing long ago, and these days Nestlé is included in the FTSE4Good index of responsible companies.

The US boycott campaign was shut down in the 80s after victory was declared, but a UK boycott still limps on despite Nestlé's complete change in policy. That kind of idiocy is dangerous because it teaches big companies that there is no value in doing the right thing.
posted by w0mbat at 12:50 PM on February 17, 2015


Wow, I got all the way to the bottom of this thread and nobody has mentioned Galaxy. I think maybe that might be because they're called Dove in America, IDK, but it's always been my favourite kind of chocolate. So smooth and creamy, mmm...
Or at least, it was. Then I discovered Kinder Bueno bars. Are you even allowed those in the US?
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 2:16 PM on February 17, 2015


In a sensible world, Hershey's chocolate would have to be called what it is is. Chocolate-inspired vomit candy.
posted by GoblinHoney at 4:19 PM on February 17, 2015


From the land of sky blue waters, WATERS!

We had nothing to do with the chocolate.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 7:02 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


May I introduce Chakalates, the chocolate line by Chaka Khan.

Mold us something good, Chaka. (I'm quite sure it'll be better than either Hershey or Cadbury.)

For mass-market candy you can't beat Dove. Mars products are still pretty good too.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 6:13 AM on February 18, 2015


Looks like Nestle is trying some new tactics too, but in a different way: by stripping out artificial flavoring and colors.
Nestle USA strips artificial bits from chocolate candy
posted by gemmy at 10:10 AM on February 18, 2015


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