Shills for Big Paleo
February 17, 2015 1:03 PM   Subscribe

British-based webforum Mumsnet (For Parents, By Parents) had a fun time this weekend, when a new member decided she was sick and tired of dinosaurs being forced on our children.

Recently my sister foolishly gave my two youngest some dinosaurs toys for Christmas. After telling her to get out of my house I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil. I am fortunate that my family has been very supportive, and has disowned my children's former aunt.

The question of whether or not this is satire is left happily unresolved, but some of the commenters shared some fantastic images/gifs in the thread.

Previously on Metafilter. Also previously. Yet more previously.
posted by suelac (154 comments total) 38 users marked this as a favorite
 
Missing a key image.
posted by Behemoth at 1:05 PM on February 17, 2015 [21 favorites]


from their total lack of family values

Well, the dino would probably eat your child, so there's that.
posted by Melismata at 1:05 PM on February 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Metafilter: Then he bit three children on the face.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:06 PM on February 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Is she saying the Bible is a LIE?
posted by T.D. Strange at 1:09 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is clearly someone who understands that dinosaurs are really just mythical creatures like trolls.


In other dinosaur news, now I can't unsee this.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:09 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


You know that dinosaurs are just a gateway to the harder stuff though. One day your children are watching Walking With Dinosaurs then suddenly they're onto the hard stuff and reading The Origin of Species.

Amazing comments all throughout. Wish I had time to read all ~1000 of them....
posted by brand-gnu at 1:14 PM on February 17, 2015


Did you know that nobody had even heard of dinosaurs before the 1800s, when they were invented by curio-hungry Victorians?

I'm on the side of this can't be serious. Now to read the comments.
posted by Measured Out my Life in Coffeespoons at 1:14 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Hrm, reading down a bit, we need to rename September 19th to Talk like a terrorist day?
posted by Buttons Bellbottom at 1:14 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Nothing about dinosaurs is suitable for children, from their total lack of family values through to their non-existence from any serious scientific point of view.

Recently my sister foolishly gave my two youngest some dinosaurs toys for Christmas. After telling her to get out of my house I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil. I am fortunate that my family has been very supportive, and has disowned my children's former aunt.

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Catblack at 1:17 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


TheWhiteSkull, your link comes up with "page not found"
posted by brujita at 1:19 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]




TheWhiteSkull, your link comes up with "page not found"

A dinosaur et it.
posted by slater at 1:20 PM on February 17, 2015 [26 favorites]


I'd save your anger for pirates. They are presented as fun characters, but were a bit like terrorists.

This be a fair criticism, aye. Yar! a plesiosaur!
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:21 PM on February 17, 2015 [17 favorites]




Recently my sister foolishly gave my two youngest some dinosaurs toys for Christmas. After telling her to get out of my house I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil.

No no no, I'm afraid you're misinterpreting things. Your children were delighted because they discovered burning things is COOL.
posted by selfnoise at 1:22 PM on February 17, 2015 [46 favorites]


Mumsnet is hilarious at times. If anyone ever tells you women aren't funny, direct them to the Mumsnet forums.

Legendary 'penis beaker' thread ahoy.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:22 PM on February 17, 2015 [27 favorites]


Two things Metafilter has taught me not to take away from Mumsnet posters:

1) Evolutionary theory lessons.
2) Beverages.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:23 PM on February 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


This is a joke right? I would have sworn that forum post is a joke.
posted by wrabbit at 1:23 PM on February 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


TheWhiteSkull, your link comes up with "page not found"


It's a picture of Matthew McConaughey, next to one of his evolutionary cousin, Tyrannosaurus rex.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:25 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Recently my sister foolishly gave my two youngest some dinosaurs toys for Christmas. After telling her to get out of my house I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil. I am fortunate that my family has been very supportive, and has disowned my children's former aunt.

This looks like a delightfully crafted troll.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:26 PM on February 17, 2015 [13 favorites]


Menaces.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 1:26 PM on February 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


After telling her to get out of my house I burnt the dinosaurs. My children were delighted because they know that dinosaurs are evil.

Nah, they're just pyromaniacs.

Teach the Controversy
posted by Foosnark at 1:27 PM on February 17, 2015


If you click on the facebook group for Christians Against Dinosaurs, you get a sidebar of suggested groups, including:

Dinosaurs Against Christians Against Dinosaurs
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:29 PM on February 17, 2015 [73 favorites]


from their total lack of family values

Well, the dino would probably eat your child, so there's that.

Melismata

They also didn't have abortions.

Checkmate, atheists.
posted by Sangermaine at 1:29 PM on February 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Man, my reading comprehension is all messed up today. I read that Facebook group as Christians Children Against Dinosaurs and GallonOfAlan's thread as Legendary 'penis-beaker breaker' thread ahoy
posted by Existential Dread at 1:29 PM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I was hoping this was going to focus on the "dinosaurs did not exist at all as we generally imagine them" thing which is a somewhat valid criticism.
posted by Drinky Die at 1:30 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm leaning toward even the FB group being a satire group. A friend of mine who is very level headed and reasonable is a member. Granted she may be following it just to read the redic, so I guess anything goes.

In conclusion, this comment is a land of contrast, and adds nothing of value.
posted by Twain Device at 1:32 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Christ, what an asshole.

I know! What kind of evil aunt gives dinosaur toys to children?
posted by billiebee at 1:33 PM on February 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Barney *is* an evil purple soul-eating demon though, so there is that.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:36 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


You know we have no idea what Dinosaurs sounded like?

that's right, they've been silenced all their lives.
posted by The Whelk at 1:40 PM on February 17, 2015 [17 favorites]


I call shenanigans. The facebook page uses a silhouette of T. Rex from Dinosaur Comics.
posted by meandthebean at 1:41 PM on February 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


*reads title* Yes! About time someone stood up for the smaller fossils. Dinosaurs and the like get alllllll the fucking credit and attention and nobody talks about the amazing world of small paleo. Like fossil starfish! You know ants like to gather small fossil echinoids for their ant hills? It's true! So amazing! Trilobite tracks! Fossil pollen! Fossil diatoms and other fossil plankton! You heard of the Cliffs of Dover, right, right? You can see that fucker from outer space, and France, and it's NOTHING BUT FOSSIL PLANKTON , just trillions and trillions of fossil plankton, fossil coccoliths to be specific.

But all anybody talks about is T-rex. Can you see a t-rex from outer space? Can you see stupid t-rex from France? Nooooooo. But what gets all the attention, huh? And what can you use a t-rex for? Nothing. But the smaller fossils - I can show you climate change, water depth, glacial cycles, and and age-date a rock with 15 minutes and a few teaspoons of rock. Can you show orbital cycling with T-rex? Can it tell you about water depth and temperature? Can it give you an age range of a plus or minus a few hundred thousand years? Nope nope nope! Useless. Absolutely useless. And let's talk about how there's, what, less than 20 relatively complete skeletons of T-rex, and yet it gets all the excitement. Big deal - I can show you 20 specimens of the smaller fossils with a few fields of view in a microscope. Hey big paleo, yeah you, you big paleo shit spores, I fart on your big paleo interpretations of what T-rex did and was! Because it's just guessing, you know it, I know it, you don't even have enough complete specimens to be statistically valid. Big paleo shills, yesyesyes, you go get 'em, get 'em, super mom!

*reads article* This smells like an excellent troll. But if you're serious? Well then, fuck you, you anti-evolutionary hagfish. T-rex is awesome!

This (somewhat exaggeratory) comment has been brought to you by a shill for Small Paleo. We're tiny but but we're here.
posted by barchan at 1:42 PM on February 17, 2015 [237 favorites]


Climate Change is all a plot by Big Paleo to RAISE the Sea! And Carbon Dioxide Levels! This is conclusive proof bigOIL is behind the Dinoplotters and their friends the THREE FOOT INSECTS! BEWARE the closet MegaFauna agenda!

But it's NOT TOO LATE! We must blow the Yellowstone Caldera to cool the Earth! (Just LIKE LAST TIME!) Say yes to SOLAR SHADE SALVATION!
posted by bonehead at 1:42 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


*reads FPP* Yes! It's a satire!
posted by Melismata at 1:43 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


If this mum thinks that Darwin's theory of evolution disproved dinosaurs, then I wouldn't exactly call that anti-evolutionary.

> I was hoping this was going to focus on the "dinosaurs did not exist at all as we generally imagine them" thing which is a somewhat valid criticism.

the last paragraph:

Even so, Godefroit suggests that the largest dinosaurs likely had the fewest feathers, as they wouldn't have needed them for insulation. "Just like elephants in Africa don't need fur," he says.

In the reader comments on Nat Geo, is a link to the Guardian article, which is more measured in its pronouncements.
posted by polecat at 1:50 PM on February 17, 2015


This is so disappointing. These Mums will clearly be the first devoured in the coming dinosaur robot uprising.
However, I, for one, welcome our new Jeopardy-Winning Child-Instructing Dinosaur Robot Overlords.
posted by ursus_comiter at 1:50 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I call shenanigans. The facebook page uses a silhouette of T. Rex from Dinosaur Comics.

Oh, good. I can't access FB from work so I couldn't follow all the links in that thread

And yet the OP, man, she's so damned committed.
posted by suelac at 1:51 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's pretty much all viral marketing for the new Jurassic Park movie.
posted by Invisible Green Time-Lapse Peloton at 1:53 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


oh no that means Chris Pratt has taught the raptors how to make forum comments
posted by The Whelk at 1:54 PM on February 17, 2015 [32 favorites]


Wolverine Cat will put a stop to that.
posted by ursus_comiter at 1:57 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Twain Device: I'm leaning toward even the FB group being a satire group. A friend of mine who is very level headed and reasonable is a member. Granted she may be following it just to read the redic, so I guess anything goes.
I'm personally hoping a certain percentage are dead-serious, even though the group was founded as a joke. Poe's Law in glorious technicolor.
posted by IAmBroom at 1:59 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Did you know that nobody had even heard of dinosaurs before the 1800s, when they were invented by curio-hungry Victorians?

Other such inventions: the electron, Neptune, and germs, none of which existed prior to the 19th century. Those wacky Victorians!
posted by kagredon at 2:00 PM on February 17, 2015 [15 favorites]


That seems like a corollary to Poe's Law.

IAmBroom's Corollary to Poe's Law.
posted by ursus_comiter at 2:01 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


OMG the facebook page is real. I just joined their closed group and no, it is not satire. I am speechless.
posted by ramix at 2:03 PM on February 17, 2015


Huh, apparently this rabbit hole goes deep.
posted by kagredon at 2:13 PM on February 17, 2015


OMG the facebook page is real. I just joined their closed group and no, it is not satire. I am speechless.

I'm on team satire.

I remember so fondly about 10 years ago when objective.jesussave.us was a thing. Had a fully fleshed out website including links to other fully fleshed out supporting websites. Had enough real nutters believing it was real to make it seem completely legit. But still just an epic parody.
posted by phunniemee at 2:16 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dinosaurs and the like get alllllll the fucking credit and attention and nobody talks about the amazing world of small paleo.

Hey there's gotta be a hook somewhere. I loved dinosaurs as a wee one, and then got into the harder shit when I realized I could crack a rock open and find a fossil. Little fish, trilobites, all kinds of neat stuff. Used to collect them.
posted by Hoopo at 2:17 PM on February 17, 2015


Ramix, how did you tell it's serious? (Just curious.)
posted by Omnomnom at 2:17 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Legendary 'penis beaker' thread ahoy.

TIL that "fanjo" is Irish slang for the coochie.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:17 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dinosaurs being forced on children sounds like a very serious matter, indeed.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:18 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is quite obviously satire. Come on people!

My membership in the facebook group is pending, keep your fingers crossed!
posted by prodigalsun at 2:24 PM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


It's not just dinosaurs that were all being lied to about, even more insidious is the 'big bird' conspiracy. (someone should tell the mums about this, pronto!)
posted by el io at 2:27 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]




I remember Christian graffiti on a bus stop ad for a dinosaur exhibit. This was in the '90s, and I was in high school. Something about "LIES THERE'S NO SUCH THING READ THE BIBLE". Seeing this was a turning point, from which my perspective evolved from simply seeing Christians as members of my community who interpreted metaphysics differently, and realized that a significant percentage were straight up bonkers (the protesters outside my school in holiday season, calling us Satan worshipers because we had a solstice festival was another straw on that particular camel's back).
posted by idiopath at 2:36 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


the dino would probably eat your child, so there's that.

As a dino-obsessed child, I begged my parents to invite one to my 5th? birthday. I distinctly remember my father patiently trying to explain that they would eat me.
posted by octobersurprise at 2:38 PM on February 17, 2015 [11 favorites]


i personally don't believe the dinosaurs are getting warmer, i mean, just look outside!
posted by ennui.bz at 2:43 PM on February 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


i personally don't believe the dinosaurs are getting warmer, i mean, just look outside!

Speak for yourself. I just this week purchased these candle holders and this lamp, so in 5-7 days I'll be basking in a warm dino glow.
posted by phunniemee at 2:48 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


What the forever fuck is the mumsnet lady on about anyway? Sheesh! And her kids already hate dinosaurs?
Gah!
posted by Lynsey at 3:00 PM on February 17, 2015


from their total lack of family values

Well, the dino would probably eat your child, so there's that.
Melismata

They also didn't have abortions.


I wish I could say you were right, but I have some unpublished data that am presenting at the next Proceedings of the National Acadamy of Sciences that demonstrates dinosaurs were prolific abortionists. My theory is that it was because they lacked effective contraception. Further research is required.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 3:12 PM on February 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


I'd save your anger for pirates. They are presented as fun characters, but were a bit like terrorists.

Yeah, but when The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:17 PM on February 17, 2015 [25 favorites]


Hey there's gotta be a hook somewhere. That's definitely true, and although I can't remember any numbers I wouldn't be surprised if there are more or equal numbers of invertebrate/micro/ichnologists out there than VPs. *sigh* But try standing next to a real live dinosaur paleontologist during volunteer day at a museum and try to hawk your sad little microscopic fossils to the kids. There's just nothing sexy about telling people you're an ostracod specialist, nor are there movies about how a horde of Pinus fossil pollen destroyed Chicago and a group of Indiana Jones look alike palynologists brought them down.

There's a reason why one of the more infamous (to the wee paleo folk, that is) paleontology papers ever is a paper about boreholes on brachiopods called . . . wait for it . . . Boring Late Cambrian Organisms.
posted by barchan at 3:20 PM on February 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


when The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.

Nor do they get forcibly uploaded into an Optimalverse.
posted by localroger at 3:23 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Shooting ichthyosaurs in a barrel.
posted by Elmore at 3:23 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Oh good an excuse to post Bouletcorp's Realistic Jurassic Park comic.
posted by Pyry at 3:29 PM on February 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


I'm not normally one to post like this, but I'm sick, I'm very tired, one ear is stopped up so everything has a weird comb filter effect applied and well....

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
posted by eriko at 3:30 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


That post is obviously satire, people! The pirate lady got it. I was so hoping the thread would run with it but it seems to be 40 pages of people going isthisajoke?!?
posted by fshgrl at 3:30 PM on February 17, 2015




You burnt dinosaurs?

Millions of people do it every day, in places where children gather.

Places like:
  • Main Street
  • Broadway Avenue
  • First Street
  • I-75
And who is to blame? Major corporations like BP, Ford, and hundreds of other corporations.
posted by MrGuilt at 3:37 PM on February 17, 2015 [10 favorites]


TD Strange's link made me look up the Creation Museum's page, which explains that dinosaurs aren't a mystery at all!

Even better, here is a detailed look at their exhibits. (This timeline is my favorite pic).

So this is yet another religious schism -- Christians Against Dinosaurs vs. God Made Dinosaurs And They Even Rode On The Ark And Became Dragons!
posted by thefoxgod at 4:06 PM on February 17, 2015


Guys, I am listening to the local classical station and I kid you not, the Jurassic Park theme is playing right now while I read this. I laughed out loud.

I can't decide if the OP is trolling or not.
posted by chatongriffes at 4:06 PM on February 17, 2015


You burnt dinosaurs?

Millions of people do it every day, in places where children gather.


And here is the biggest example of big paleo getting the credit for everything. Oil is not made from dinosaurs. It is made from algae, plankton, and waxy plant materials such as pollen or plants in large enough deposits in specific conditions (like a swamp, i.e. Carboniferous age coals). A source rock requires vast deposits of organic material, usually in some kind of anoxic environment, that can break down into kerogen. That is why most source rocks are marine, lacustrine, or deltaic - not the badlands of Montana.

/derail
posted by barchan at 4:18 PM on February 17, 2015 [22 favorites]




From Prohibition to anti-vaccination, mothers the world over have the hardest job in the world.
posted by four panels at 4:32 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Someone tried to force a dinosaur on my child once but he was prepared with Zeus's thunderbolt and then Odin's crow pecked out the bully's eyeball. Thank Gaia it all sorted itself out in the end.
posted by h00py at 4:34 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


You could only protect your child because you don't live in a European nanny-state which keeps thunderbolts in the hands of the government.
posted by squinty at 4:36 PM on February 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


I say it's a joke/troll. It's a UK site, and not located primarily in the outer Hebrides or Northern Ireland or somewhere where fiery Christianity is a thing, so the dinosaurs-are-evil thing can only be someone clumsily playing a stereotypical big-haired-Christian LOLAMERICAN for laughs.
posted by acb at 4:45 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm on page 24 of the thread and the OP is still in there (after being banned twice), holding stridently to party lines. I...think she might be serious?
posted by chatongriffes at 4:48 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Dino and Barney are gonna be pissed.
posted by jonmc at 4:49 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Of course it's a joke. The dead giveaway is that no YEC would quote Darwin as an authority.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 4:54 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


There's an awful lot of swearing in that thread. Cunty fuckers? Mums have changed.

I like it.
posted by glasseyes at 5:13 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't care if this is true or not, I want dino-deniers to be a thing. On their own, separate from religion.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 5:29 PM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


"Be kind, everyone's parents had some fucked up beliefs"
posted by bleep at 5:44 PM on February 17, 2015


'Christians against Dinosaurs' is the only facebook group i felt compelled to join instanly. I hope I get in, since i am neither christian nor particularly against dinosaurs (I can hardly imagine what being 'against dinosaurs' entails, though it sounds unpleasant, like a crowded subway car presses one 'against people')

Lesserthenev--I recall the outrage and disappointment of our youngest child (5 at the time, now a respectable millenial professional), on seeing the dinosaurs at the museum:
"They're all dead!" he cried. And cried.
Apparently, we had oversold the experience. Parents be warned.
posted by hexatron at 5:45 PM on February 17, 2015 [19 favorites]


So basically a UK version of the classic "horse denial" campaign ("Hästar finns inte") that exploded all over Swedish facebook a few years back, driving young equestrians crazy?

”There are no such thing as horses, a fact that is scientifically proven. We also support the science that claims horses to be a fruit. Horses is a fruit that does not exist.”

(the original facebook group has since been hijacked by viral spammers, so no need to click through)
posted by effbot at 6:03 PM on February 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


I've never seen a more perfect example of Poe's Law. I have no idea if this is a real opinion or a parody; I'm siding with the latter, but there's no way to tell.
posted by zardoz at 6:15 PM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


That post is obviously satire, people!

There are so many things that I have thought to be obviously satire...


and so painfully awakened to when it was not.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:15 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Says you, you non-existent blue fruit.
posted by ursus_comiter at 6:39 PM on February 17, 2015 [18 favorites]


There's no chance this is not satire. On a literary basis alone.
posted by Miko at 6:40 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


no such thing as horses

Also, the whale is not really a fish; it's an insect.
posted by flabdablet at 6:57 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


IonaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 06-Feb-15 20:36:35
Um... What the WHAT now??? We're going to leave this up because we like dinosaur pictures but we've escorted the DinoDeniers to the door.


Awwww shucks. They were clearly silenced by the dino conspiracy! Outrage!
posted by Autumn Leaf at 7:02 PM on February 17, 2015


Dino and Barney are gonna be pissed.

You think they're gonna be pissed? Just wait until Frank and Sammy find out.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:09 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Now that I'm in the FB group, I do have to say, it's a total CF. There are plenty og what I am certain are satirical posts by the group admins who appear to be completely joshing but maintaining a fine line, but also what look like sincere Christians posting who are pretty sure it's pro-Christian and anti-science, as well as sincere athiests who are 100% it's stupid Christians and not shy about letting everyone know what idiots they think those people are, and everyone in between, including the confused. It's a microcosm of sorts.

Some sample postings:

I used to love dinosaurs. They were my favorite thing as a child. But as I've grown, I've come to realize that the dinosaurs were never there for me. Where were you, Ankylosaurus, when my beautiful wife was taken from me? Where was Troodon when I lost my job? Did you let me crash on your couch when I lost my home, Parasauralophus? No, it's become clear to me that only Jesus Christ, our lord and savior, has been there for me. That's why I will proudly espouse the only logical belief, that dinosaurs are not real, have never been real, and barring tinkering from mad, power hungry geneticists, will never be real.
Keep strong, brothers and sisters


**
With the average life span of a palaeontologist hovering just around 57 years, is there something here we should be concerned about? I'm not really one for conspiracy theories but this just seems like a very low number. Could it be the stress and burden of living a life of lies causing these untimely deaths? or is it something more? With so much riding on the Dino lie, it's not unfathomable to think a few lose ends are being snipped before they become a problem for big paleo. What do you think?
**
Here is a picture of a factory making fake Dinosaurs in Victorian England. It shows us how little things have changed. Doubtless many similar factories continue to manufacture fake Dinosaurs in China to this day.
***
Disney is one of Christian's Against Dinosaur's biggest adversaries.
They stand for the Dinosaurs Insidiously Secretly Nefariously Entrancing Youngins.
They MUST be stopped.
***
This warms my heart, finally there is a group that exposes dinosaurs for the frauds they are. Big Paleo is everywhere, created by the government which is so OBVIOUSLY run by Hollywood. Dinosaurs are not extinct, as their faux existence continues to ruin our nation's youth. You know who is the main culprit? AL GORE. His global warming theories try to prove there was some giant asteroid that caused the extinction of dinosaurs and caused an ice age, when we all KNOW that was the work of the illuminati, which at the time was the INUIT. You guys know this is the truth.

posted by Miko at 7:17 PM on February 17, 2015 [6 favorites]


Here's something on YouTube (maybe someone from the UK knows what this show actually is, as it's probably not an example of the "Museum Industrial Complex" in action). There's a channel with a few other things - this one especially charming. The comments give you a flavor of what FB is like. And here's the main website.

Reddit is...not into it despite the efforts of user EndofDino.

There's a fair amount of speculation that this is some sort of viral campaign for something to do with Jurassic World. I dunno, but at the same time, assuming this is not sincere (which I guess I do), it certainly represents a level of organization that you'd rarely get from spontaneous voluntarism of disconnected individuals who just thought this was a funny idea. Or even a totally serious idea. They've managed to plant seeds across a lot of web platforms - here is a news story, for instance, and something from NBC News about the mumsnet rant. It is not easy to put yourself in so many places so quickly or to be assured that your content would reach an audience in mass media this way; it's hard to go viral.

Before this stuff popped up there doesn't seem to have been much grassroots mention of keywords they use a lot, like "Big Paleo" and the "Museum Industrial Complex," which I would normally expect to see for a fringe Christian movement which emerged from some kind of real-world context and grew from there. This burst on the scene pretty well figured out. It may not be satire exactly, but it definitely has the feel and smell of some kind of setup.
posted by Miko at 7:39 PM on February 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Also, the whale is not really a fish; it's an insect.

And the llama is a quadruped which lives in big rivers like the Amazon. It has two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming.


Cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, cuidado, las llamas!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:46 PM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I don't think it's right to call this either satire or parody. This is just someone trolling a forum to extract lulz from the deluded or gullible. They're still active in the thread to keep egging them on.
posted by I-Write-Essays at 8:07 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


The Facebook page is like if a group of real manaeds stumbled across The Toast. It's amazeballs.

This is just someone trolling a forum to extract lulz from the deluded or gullible.

Nah, I think it's more benign than that. It's like an invitation to join in on the silliness.
posted by fshgrl at 8:09 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wow. I don't remember hearing about Mumsnet before today, but now I've read two things about them - it sounds like an absolute hoot. (The other thing was a buzzfeed article about a 20-something guy who went onto Mumsnet to help EXPLAIN THE CONFUSING INTERNET TO THE POOR CLUELESS MOMS. And unsurprisingly, they proceeded to mock and shred and out-tech him.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:12 PM on February 17, 2015 [8 favorites]


This is just someone trolling a forum

If so, they're trolling the entire internet. I've just spent the last half hour down the rabbit hole of the individuals on FB, leaders/admins, a network of Twitter accounts, one 10-year-old post on a paleontology forum by a central figure (which is interesting, if not fake), a bunch of recently made FB accounts...it's very interesting. If it's not real, the architecture is fairly astounding, but recent. They've been hard at work. At this point I kind of think it's a group of friends having us on, but they're very committed.
posted by Miko at 8:15 PM on February 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Better this than anti-vax nonsense.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:24 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Those silly folks haven't caught on to the fact that dinosaurs cause autism yet.
posted by Catblack at 8:27 PM on February 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


CNET piece.
posted by Miko at 8:39 PM on February 17, 2015


pops back out of the rabbithole

I call it as early viral marketing for Jurassic World.
posted by Autumn Leaf at 8:55 PM on February 17, 2015


I was initially persuaded of that but the people at the center of it are actually real. Whether they're serious or not I can only speculate, but they're not false identities or actors.
posted by Miko at 9:11 PM on February 17, 2015


Better this than anti-vax nonsense.

Are you suggesting that velociraptors aren't a public health issue? It's okay if people just pretend they don't exist?
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:22 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I just came in to mention Dinosaur Train, because it's the best.
posted by maryr at 10:31 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


I would love to find the original of this photo which someone clearly shopped within an inch of its life.
posted by Miko at 10:32 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


The Facebook page is like if a group of real manaeds stumbled across The Toast.

hello nanowrimo prompt
posted by kagredon at 10:36 PM on February 17, 2015


The OP later explains further, "it's not that dinosaurs aren't real that makes me think they are bad for children. It's important to stimulate an active imagination, and for children to explore the difference between fantasy and reality.

But the examples you give are very different to dinosaurs. Elves and fairies are good-hearted and magical, they help children to develop a sense of wonder and love for the world."

Another commenter responds, "Elves and fairies are not goodhearted. Traditionally they are evil fuckers who blight the humans they come into contact with."

Now that's what I call a GOOD DISCUSSION!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 11:09 PM on February 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


As a member of CAD since New Year (well of CAD and the previous, similarly named group that was damaged due to shenanigans) I can tell you that it is a real, true group of concerned Christians and actual fact based scientists and that it is not a huge troll (in the older internet meaning of the word).
posted by antiwiggle at 11:54 PM on February 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Hook, line & sinker.
posted by salmacis at 1:20 AM on February 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Here's a link to the mumsnet thread for the 20 year old mansplainer that rmd mentions if anyone wants to read it without buzzfeed's 'curation'.
posted by Ned G at 2:06 AM on February 18, 2015 [5 favorites]



... the people at the center of it are actually real. Whether they're serious or not I can only speculate, but they're not false identities or actors.

Mass extinction event ecological crisis actors!
posted by Sonny Jim at 3:25 AM on February 18, 2015


This dude in one of my comp classes was talking about these amaaaaazing documentaries about angels. He finished by saying "and so they're finding the BONES the GIANT BONES of the angels in the earth now."

And because I had now idea where this was coming from I was like, 'ohh-kay. so, anyway, the correct way to use a semi-colon is'

and then sometime later that day I realized the BONES the GIANT BONES was probably a reference to dinosaur bones and this was some weird Dinosaur Truther Conspiracy.
posted by angrycat at 4:58 AM on February 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


As a member of CAD since New Year ... I can tell you that it is a real, true group of concerned Christians and actual fact based scientists and that it is not a huge troll

So are these actual fact based scientists there to confront the concerned Christians with the actual facts? Or are they part of the dino denial, in which case they're actual not scientists?

And what's your position there, antiwriggle? Are you there to enjoy the show, or there because you don't believe dinosaurs were real? Assuming the former, wouldn't most of the group's members be in the same boat? (300 cubits by 50 by 30, made of gopher wood, no dinos allowed.)
posted by rory at 5:30 AM on February 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


And what's your position there, antiwiggle? Are you there to enjoy the show, or there because you don't believe dinosaurs were real? Assuming the former, wouldn't most of the group's members be in the same boat?

Well I can't speak for everyone there but I imagine we all share the same beliefs.
posted by antiwiggle at 5:53 AM on February 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


That's a bit of a wriggly answer, antiwiggle. (Sorry I got your username wrong before.)
posted by rory at 6:00 AM on February 18, 2015


Slarty Bartfast: I wish I could say you were right, but I have some unpublished data that am presenting at the next Proceedings of the National Acadamy of Sciences that demonstrates dinosaurs were prolific abortionists. My theory is that it was because they lacked effective contraception.
Nonsense. Everyone knows dinosaurs are staunch Republicans. Or did I get that backwards again?
posted by IAmBroom at 6:15 AM on February 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


Well I can't speak for everyone there but I imagine we all share the same beliefs.

Which are, specifically?
posted by salmacis at 6:28 AM on February 18, 2015


Which are, specifically?

Specifically that the dinosaur controversy needs to be discussed more. Hence the group.
posted by antiwiggle at 6:42 AM on February 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


He finished by saying "and so they're finding the BONES the GIANT BONES of the angels in the earth now."

"No, dear. Those are the bones of the Nephilim, the giant children of angels and the daughters of men."

(Cotton Mather, btw, believed that the NY mastodon bones discovered in 1705 were the bones of "the Giants that once groaned under the waters ..." and that " ... their Dead Bones are lively Proofs of the Mosaic history.")
posted by octobersurprise at 8:06 AM on February 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


GallonOfAlan: "Barney *is* an evil purple soul-eating demon though, so there is that."

Wait - I'm reminded of an event wherein my friend had Barney hung by a noose in his car (goddamned it was fun being late-teens), and someone left a note about how it was un-Christian to do that on his window when we got back to the car from inside Taco Bell.

Now that I think about it, it may have been not someone from our church but one of the T-Bell peeps (I was an employee there and before that, we were always regulars).

But if it WAS someone from church that certainly creates a conundrum. Is it wrong to hang Barney? Or is it the Christian thing to do?
posted by symbioid at 8:44 AM on February 18, 2015


Specifically that the dinosaur controversy needs to be discussed more. Hence the group.

Similarly, I believe this nonsense about a spherical earth is a controversy which needs more discussion.
posted by salmacis at 9:08 AM on February 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Sounds like something the Cacophony Society would have done in the 90's.
There would be things like protests of movies like Fantasia with confusing but somehow possibly serious statements.
posted by boilermonster at 9:14 AM on February 18, 2015


Did you know that nobody had even heard of dinosaurs before the 1800s, when they were invented by curio-hungry Victorians?

I read that as "curio-hungry Victrolas" and imagined the Victrolas were hungry to be housed in curio-cabinets.
posted by vitabellosi at 9:35 AM on February 18, 2015


But if it WAS someone from church that certainly creates a conundrum. Is it wrong to hang Barney? Or is it the Christian thing to do?


I think you're supposed to crucify him.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:02 AM on February 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


two ears, a heart, a forehead, and a beak for eating honey. But it is provided with fins for swimming

Ralph the Wonder Llama
posted by flabdablet at 10:02 AM on February 18, 2015


I've burned dinosaurs. I cooked the chicken too long.
posted by Anne Neville at 10:08 AM on February 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


There are no "fact based scientists" in the Facebook group. I know because I stayed up til like 1:30 reading the whole thing. There is a cadre of Poe trollers making most of the posts and some fairly humorous image macros, a cadre of angry sneering athiests, a cadre of self-identifying Christians who seem to want to support dino nonbelief but also seem a bit dazed and potentially unsure if they're on solid ground, a smattering of actual out-there anti-science Christians, a tiny minority of Christians trying to stick up for sane Christians, a tiny minority of athiests trying to stick up for sane athiests, a whole lot of rubberneckers, kibitzers, and shit-stirrers, a few of the admittedly completely bewildered, a few of the "I'm open-minded" sort who make plaintive requests for someone to explain because they truly, truly want to understand anti-dino reasoning, a contingent of juggalos and a matching contingent of anti-juggalos, and one woman (start of most of the videos) who the whole thing seems to sort of swirl around, who's either having everyone on about it and in on the joke/hoax/prank, or a total tool who believes her own BS. The weird drama of last night of course involved her getting doxxed, which seems to reveal she might actually believe her own BS or at least be the sort of person that likes messing with people to a deep degree, and turning around to doxx her own critics. Of course, because it's the internet, everything has devolved into the one thing we can all agree on: misogynistic harassment. Kum ba ya!
posted by Miko at 10:14 AM on February 18, 2015 [13 favorites]


I think we're missing the real opportunity here. Preserving/archiving the entire internet in case of catastrophe is a problem hampered by both legal and logistical issues, but now we have a smaller, relatively contained self-similar seed that could be used to regenerate it. What we need to do is get a piece of amber and insert a mosquito-shaped flash drive with an archive of the group, so that future generations can visit Internet Park.
posted by kagredon at 10:37 AM on February 18, 2015 [7 favorites]


Miko, the video woman wouldn't be this person, would it? (Asked to be let into group, still waiting for confirmation.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:05 AM on February 18, 2015


MetaFilter: a whole lot of rubberneckers, kibitzers, and shit-stirrers, a few of the admittedly completely bewildered
posted by billiebee at 11:07 AM on February 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


Did you know that nobody had even heard of dinosaurs before the 1800s, when they were invented by curio-hungry Victorians?

I read that as "curio-hungry Victrolas" and imagined the Victrolas were hungry to be housed in curio-cabinets.


I read it as "curio-hung Victorians" and got some very odd mental pictures.
posted by maryr at 12:17 PM on February 18, 2015


Miko, the video woman wouldn't be this person , would it?

No...it's the person in these videos. They were on the CAD website but seem to have been taken down. Things may not be too nice right now for the person. I've been fascinated with the whole thing but feel like I just need to let people discover it all on their own, if they care, because it gets doxxy fast. There are a lot of fake people involved, but looks like some real identities, too. You kind of get the feel of people maybe being in over their heads with their joke project.

That Megan Fox video is pretty horrifying, though.

That said, I'm saving "Curio-hungry Victorians" for a band name, or maybe my next username.
posted by Miko at 1:28 PM on February 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ah, someone on Twitter found the original of the protest photo. From a parking protest in Cornwall aparently. My money was on fracking.
posted by Miko at 4:33 PM on February 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


antiwiggle, I'd be really interested if you could explain why you're a member of CAD, and what you believe.
posted by Ned G at 3:37 AM on February 19, 2015


Just as a point of order, the Facebook group doesn't date back to the New Year. I suppose there may have been a previous group, but the current group is only a few weeks old.
posted by Miko at 5:59 AM on February 19, 2015


Just as a point of order, the Facebook group doesn't date back to the New Year. I suppose there may have been a previous group, but the current group is only a few weeks old.

As a member of CAD since New Year (well of CAD and the previous, similarly named group that was damaged due to shenanigans)

Almost as if I mentioned that fact in my original post.
posted by antiwiggle at 6:25 AM on February 19, 2015


Yep, I saw that, but the current group doesn't date to "the New Year" as in January 1. As I said, point of clarification. I understand the previous group may date to January 1 or before.
posted by Miko at 7:42 AM on February 19, 2015


Also, I would love to hear more about the "shenanigans" the group experienced.
posted by Miko at 7:53 AM on February 19, 2015


The old group was called "Christians Against Dinosaurs" without the "(CAD)" bit on the end. It had an astounding number of people with admin access to the group and was pretty lax about handing out admin access to anyone who wanted it (or seemingly just at random).

Sometime in January someone with admin access staged something of a coup. Which side (if any) of the dinosaur question they were on is unclear but it looked like they wanted to shut the group down. They failed in that and control of the group was retaken. However they did manage to change the group privacy (visibility?) setting to secret. The restored admins were unable to change it back. There are restrictions to what you can do with a Facebook group beyond a certain size and apparently making it not secret broke those restrictions.

It seemed like the easiest way to restore CAD was to create a new group with a slightly different name and have everyone rejoin. This time they have been a bit more careful with the admins.

That is all I know. I have only been aware of CAD since New Year when I was invited to join. I don't know that much of its history before that.
posted by antiwiggle at 8:26 AM on February 19, 2015 [2 favorites]


(the original facebook group has since been hijacked by viral spammers, so no need to click through)

Apparently, I need a 5-day edit window to avoid leaving ambiguous stuff around -- I meant to say "no need to click through to Facebook from the Tumblr post I linked to".
posted by effbot at 9:01 AM on February 19, 2015


Antiwiggle, why are you so reluctant to clearly state what you believe, wrt dinosaurs? Are you afraid of being ridiculed?
posted by salmacis at 9:10 AM on February 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


That Megan Fox video is pretty horrifying, though.

I thought that was going to be about the celebrity Megan Fox, who despite being ridiculed for being dumb and hot or whatever, always seems like a smart and reasonable person to me.
posted by zutalors! at 9:40 AM on February 19, 2015


Antiwiggle, why are you so reluctant to clearly state what you believe, wrt dinosaurs? Are you afraid of being ridiculed?

Oh, I thought I had made my position plain. It is very disappointing to find out that I have been unclear. I am sorry and I will attempt to state my beliefs without obfuscation in future.
posted by antiwiggle at 10:53 AM on February 19, 2015 [4 favorites]


That's interesting and somewhat helpful but also about as intentionally quasi-ambiguous as the entire juggernaut is. Thank you for the history, though.
posted by Miko at 12:34 PM on February 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


Yeah, it comes down to "do you think these fossils are from large animals who roamed millions of years ago or not?" The rest is quibbling over details.
posted by Invisible Green Time-Lapse Peloton at 2:03 PM on February 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


I find it inordinately amusing that the photo caption writer for this article can't tell the difference between a dinosaur and a dog.
posted by brundlefly at 5:12 PM on February 19, 2015


Antiwiggle, if your position was so plain, we'd know what it was!
posted by salmacis at 5:40 PM on February 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


If you don't like antiwiggle's stance, then avoid the page itself, because that's what you get. There are no clear motivations on anyone's part, and in the end, it's trolling Christians, trolling athiests, trolling people interested in science, and trolling people of generic goodwill, and when you add that all up, it kind of amounts to generally being a-holes to everyone for lulz, to see how far you can get it to go.
posted by Miko at 8:28 PM on February 19, 2015


Antiwiggle, if your position was so plain, we'd know what it was!

How is it not plain? I think antiwiggle has been perfectly clear.
posted by flabdablet at 10:30 PM on February 19, 2015 [2 favorites]


That's the thing, I'm trying to work out if he's trolling us, trolling the Facebook group, or is just merely an idiot. I'm starting to think the whole thing is like when an outsider asks about the rules for Mornington Crescent. If I'm right, then I applaud antiwiggle for continuing the joke here.
posted by salmacis at 12:10 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's kind of like that, but meaner. It makes me sad and embarrassed for all the unwitting people who don't realize they, and their earnest attempts to communicate and to understand, are just serving as the butt of other people's jokes.
posted by Miko at 6:15 AM on February 20, 2015


I read it as "curio-hung Victorians"

Well played.
posted by glasseyes at 11:08 AM on February 20, 2015 [1 favorite]


This (somewhat exaggeratory) comment has been brought to you by a shill for Small Paleo. We're tiny but but we're here.

But can still be seen from space.

Or France.
posted by Samizdata at 10:58 PM on February 24, 2015


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