Carol how hungover are you
March 4, 2015 8:59 AM   Subscribe

 
I snorked.
posted by k5.user at 9:01 AM on March 4, 2015


This is wonderful. ANNA GO TO BED
posted by davidmsc at 9:04 AM on March 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


So many terrifyingly giraffe like lesbians.
posted by PMdixon at 9:05 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ahoy! (There, I said it.)
posted by chavenet at 9:08 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


I was a little "meh," then I got to "Oh man I got an F on my witch test" and I fell in love.

FELL IN LOVE!
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:10 AM on March 4, 2015 [11 favorites]


Look the first rule of Hat Club is.....
posted by The Whelk at 9:11 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ugh...Carol. EVERY TIME.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015


Holy shit Greg go inside.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015


Don't say it! Now Whelk, you know the second rule of Hat Club!!
posted by wenestvedt at 9:13 AM on March 4, 2015


For better or for worse, the Ortberging of the internet continues apace.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:14 AM on March 4, 2015 [25 favorites]


I think I might need to learn to sew just so I can find that cassock pattern and go to town. Fake Priest Town.
posted by penduluum at 9:16 AM on March 4, 2015 [8 favorites]


You’re just a city boy
Your pants don’t even go in your shoes


Did... anyone else... have to stop themselves from singing this to "Don't Stop Believing?"

No? Really?

What a bunch of liars you are.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:17 AM on March 4, 2015 [17 favorites]


Kinda sparse but it works for me.
posted by blucevalo at 9:25 AM on March 4, 2015


Man, he's just rocking that robe. I think I need one.
posted by ODiV at 9:27 AM on March 4, 2015


Kelly

There’s literally only one rule to Hat Club


YOU HAD ONE JOB KELLY
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:30 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]




St. Peepsburg: "Kelly

There’s literally only one rule to Hat Club


YOU HAD ONE JOB KELLY
"

Great now the Hat Club Elders are here Kelly
posted by boo_radley at 9:35 AM on March 4, 2015 [7 favorites]


Fake Priest Town.

It's still $20.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:39 AM on March 4, 2015 [8 favorites]


Pajama golf is my favorite type of golf.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 9:43 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


For better or for worse, the Ortberging of the internet continues apace.

I'd say for better. By 2017, Ortberg will be a commonly used verb.

(Anyone else look at some of the sizing info on the patterns? For Simplicity in the late 40s/early 50s/60s, a 30 inch bust was a size 12, 31 inches a size 13, and 36 inches was size 18. But by the late 60s/early 70s, a 32.5 inch bust put you in a McCall's size 10.)
posted by maudlin at 9:46 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


These were very funny! Did anyone else read So great in the voice of Tiffany from Daria?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:51 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh god this is good.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:57 AM on March 4, 2015


I really needed this today. Thank you!
posted by rtha at 10:06 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]




Really good, and now I want to sew again.

"Take me to the light! I see the vampires!" (A quote from somewhere else.) Show me the pattern for this.
posted by Oyéah at 10:07 AM on March 4, 2015


Lunches? But pajama golf tee off time is 6:00 AM.
posted by tommasz at 10:08 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Those, like, coats? That are like, like, ponchos? With, like, arm holes? Those need to come back please, because they are awesome.


No, you shut up.


You're wrong.


What are you even talking ab--


UPPER ARM MOBILITY, SHMUPPER SHMARM SHMOSHMILITY!!!
posted by Sys Rq at 10:24 AM on March 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


"I'm into doorknobs now."

Aren't we all.
posted by mykescipark at 10:40 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


For better or for worse, the Ortberging of the internet continues apace.

If it helps, I laughed more at this than I ever have at any Ortberg thing (which is zero times). Unless this is by Ortberg, in which case, keep improving!
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 10:57 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Those, like, coats? That are like, like, ponchos? With, like, arm holes? Those need to come back please, because they are awesome.

Ask and ye shall receive: McCalls M6446 Cape. It's a link to my Pinterest pin of it, because the pattern's out of print; if someone wants one, you could probably find a used copy somewhere on the web – Etsy, eBay, etc.
posted by fraula at 11:25 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


I was amused. I was chuckling. Then Carol and her bag of trash made me laugh out loud.
posted by chatongriffes at 11:28 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


I got an F on my witch test.
Once I figure out if that's good or bad, I'm gonna use that line.
posted by MtDewd at 11:35 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


Unless this is by Ortberg

Nope, but some of the cartoons have appeared on the Toast before. Natalie Kossar is the brilliant mind responsible for this.
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:38 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]






I've actually taken to saving up until there are several to read in succession, which is somehow even more howlingly funny than reading them one at a time as they're posted. You've gotta be pretty stupendously rewarding to goad me into atypical RSS-reading habits, I tell ya.

Also, the only Ortbergian-style pieces that I've loved are the ones written by Mallory Ortberg. Until now.
posted by desuetude at 12:36 PM on March 4, 2015


Is there such a thing as sewing pattern piracy?

There should be.
posted by penduluum at 1:50 PM on March 4, 2015


"Is there such a thing as sewing pattern piracy?"

Oh yes, this is apparently a very real concern for some people.
posted by traveler_ at 2:09 PM on March 4, 2015


By the way, Dress A Day has been doing this for a while.
posted by willF at 2:29 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Drunk J. Crew is getting so lazy.
posted by clvrmnky at 3:07 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Don’t worry Rick
We’ll find you someone
There’s gotta be a real big lady somewhere


Or maybe a real tiny one?
posted by Room 641-A at 4:08 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


I love this so much
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:05 PM on March 4, 2015


wow I just noticed that for the capey things that you actually have to put your hands outside the garment in order to put them into the pockets. which makes no sense.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:59 AM on March 5, 2015


I thought I told you to shush.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:50 AM on March 5, 2015


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