The World's First Successful Penis Transplant
March 15, 2015 2:11 PM   Subscribe

The world's first successful penis transplant has been performed in South Africa.
posted by Blue Jello Elf (70 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite


 
Oh good, I was wanting a new one. Just to swich things up a bit.
posted by sexyrobot at 2:21 PM on March 15, 2015 [6 favorites]


sexyrobot: Oh good, I was wanting a new one. Just to swich things up a bit.

A little easier of a procedure for you, considering the electromechanical nature of your makeup.
posted by gman at 2:25 PM on March 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


Pics or it didn't happen?
posted by bitslayer at 2:31 PM on March 15, 2015


I bet someone's feeling pretty cocky right now.
posted by Joe in Australia at 2:32 PM on March 15, 2015 [6 favorites]


Quite a dick move.
posted by jonmc at 2:32 PM on March 15, 2015 [10 favorites]


doctor says "pee pipe"

*giggle*
posted by chavenet at 2:32 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's kind of mind boggling to think about this surgery lasting 9 hours... it's a small cross sectional area to reattach, so we must be talking about a lot of tiny, tiny suturing, right?
posted by ftm at 2:32 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


"It took the Dutchman and his team three months to put Turner together again. They cloned a square meter of skin for him, grew it on slabs of collagen and shark-cartilage polysaccharides. They bought eyes and genitals on the open market. The eyes were green."
-William Gibson, Count Zero
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 2:33 PM on March 15, 2015 [15 favorites]


Now, now, let's be a bit more mindful about all this will-nilly use of the word "tiny" here!
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 2:34 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


We repaired a small hole in his urethra, the pee pipe, last week so we could remove his catheter and just that induced an erection on the operating table.

First, thank you for that translation of obscure medical jargon into playground terms. Secondly, I am now imaging the poor man beset by random erections caused by the vengeful ghost of the previous owner.

Third, and seperately, I eagerly await The Increadible Two Headed Transplant.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:37 PM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


That Evil Boy was pretty damn smart, refusing to go to the bush.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:38 PM on March 15, 2015


Finally, Peter can pick a pecker
posted by The Whelk at 2:39 PM on March 15, 2015 [23 favorites]




The obvious donor. (Shel Silverstein was a treasure)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:41 PM on March 15, 2015


Also, could this mean really great things for trans men who want bottom surgery?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:42 PM on March 15, 2015 [9 favorites]


So, say I totally like the one I have and don't want a transplant...when will this be available as an add-on?
posted by univac at 2:45 PM on March 15, 2015


I was wondering about that too, fffm, and have noticed that very few of the articles both on this and on vaginal transplants mention that. I wonder why.

(I don't actually wonder why, actually, I've seen mainstream journalism flip their shit over the pronouns of trans people enough times and know enough trans people to know that the medical establishment is super transphobic and unhelpful.)
posted by NoraReed at 2:45 PM on March 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


Ooh. I wonder if they come in different colors, or just kinda whiteish.
posted by sexyrobot at 2:47 PM on March 15, 2015


Transphobia or no, this was a 9 hour surgery - on somebody who had already had a wang. I'm speaking off the cuff but it certainly seems like it might currently be somewhere between prohibitively complicated and completely impossible, in the case of somebody with no wangstump.
posted by ftm at 2:48 PM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Where's John Holmes now that we need him?
posted by jonmc at 2:50 PM on March 15, 2015


I would ask the same question of John Bobbitt.
posted by gman at 2:51 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


So .. what the bet on number of years before a clinic starts doing penis size "increase" surgery?

i can easily envision a scenario where Ron Jeremy is dead but his penis lives on and on and on .... being passed through generations.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 2:52 PM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


No "hand rejected it" jokes?

You people sicken me.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:52 PM on March 15, 2015 [6 favorites]


Considering the effect of testosterone on what most think of as clitoris, lots of trans dudes end up with a pretty significant phallus. They grow out of the same stuff anyway.
posted by NoraReed at 2:53 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm just going to guess that the donor and recipient were of the same ethnic background.
posted by Renoroc at 2:56 PM on March 15, 2015


Finally, a thread where I can put my SUPERSIZE ME joke for safekeeping.
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:59 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


"and accepts the organ as his own, doctors said on Friday."

welcome home!
posted by clavdivs at 3:01 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


My thought when I first read about this last week... At some point, on a hot date, some girl is going to look at it and say "So, that came from a dead guy?".... God knows how THAT conversation impacts on the "mood".....
posted by HuronBob at 3:04 PM on March 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


STIFF GIFTS SPIFFY STIFFIE
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:15 PM on March 15, 2015 [26 favorites]


"So, that came from a dead guy?"
"Yes, and he's watching us right now. Wait, where are you going, come back, it was a joke, baby, please..."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:15 PM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Take antibiotics as directed, change dressing 3x a day and no selfies for three months.
posted by clavdivs at 3:26 PM on March 15, 2015


Idle Hands is a 1999 horror comedy film directed by Rodman Flender, written by Terri Hughes and Ron Milbauer, and starring Devon Sawa, Seth Green, Elden Henson, Jessica Alba, and Vivica A. Fox. The main plot follows the life of an average lazy stoner teenager, Anton Tobias (portrayed by Sawa), whose hand penis becomes possessed and goes on a killing spree, even after being cut off from his arm penis. The film's name is based on the saying "idle hands penises are the Devil's play-things" or "idle hands penises do the Devil's work". Wiki.
*approaches Jerry Weintraub with reboot idea*

*waits for millions of dollars*
posted by Fizz at 3:29 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Renoroc: "I'm just going to guess that the donor and recipient were of the same ethnic background."

Specifically addressed in the article.
posted by Mitheral at 3:29 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


"yeah Its from a dead guy, a guy who died ...exactly ten years ago tonight!"
posted by The Whelk at 3:29 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Does the donated organ have to be the same size as the original?

(asking for a friend)
posted by Rumple at 3:33 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


♪ Attachable penis ♪
posted by JohnFromGR at 3:33 PM on March 15, 2015 [21 favorites]


If you need a penis transplant? Urine a lot of trouble.
posted by Capt. Renault at 3:34 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Now I am busy thinking ghost plotline movies will be made with a penis transplant as the plot anchor.

a white guy gets a black penis ...

a guy gets the penis of a comedian.

a guy gets the penis belonging to a serial rapist.

a dr. strangelove kinda situation with a penis which has its own mind and hates its owner.

ah the possibilities are endless ...

On preview: great minds think alike Fizz
posted by TheLittlePrince at 3:34 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


In the US, we call penis transplants "elections".
posted by not_on_display at 3:43 PM on March 15, 2015 [18 favorites]


It's pretty horrifying that several hundred men a year in South Africa lose their penises as a result of botched ritual circumcision.
posted by Rumple at 3:45 PM on March 15, 2015 [10 favorites]


The man’s penis was amputated three years ago after a circumcision went wrong at a traditional initiation ceremony.

Too much.
posted by dr_dank at 3:51 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


STIFF GIFTS SPIFFY STIFFIE

HALFED-STAFFED GETS SHAFT GRAFT
posted by Sys Rq at 3:56 PM on March 15, 2015 [16 favorites]


NICKED PRICK NIXED FOR NEW DICK
posted by evidenceofabsence at 4:02 PM on March 15, 2015 [13 favorites]


Robot Chicken already did that in the first season, Fizz.
posted by NoxAeternum at 4:02 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


This was foreseen ages ago:
"He patted her Frankel gently. She patted his new Courage.

Then they went to the bedroom, and-after circumnavigating the globe and passing through 1023 possible universes-Ulysses finally returned to Ithaca."
-Robert Anton Wilson Schrödinger's Cat Trilogy (Ithaca having once been the owner of Ulysses before she underwent surgery.)
posted by Hactar at 4:12 PM on March 15, 2015


This will make a vas defrens in the lives of many men.

I'm only allowed to use that pun once per decade.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:15 PM on March 15, 2015 [35 favorites]


a dr. strangelove kinda situation with a penis which has its own mind and hates its owner.

i'm not getting it what would be the difference
posted by Dr Dracator at 4:21 PM on March 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


Is it possible to transplant one onto the tip of a currently functional one? Asking for a friend.
posted by horsewithnoname at 4:22 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


This will make a vas defrens in the lives of many men.

*blows whistle*

Pun out of bounds. The vasa deferentia are not part of the penis. The pun will not be counted.
posted by Sys Rq at 4:24 PM on March 15, 2015 [12 favorites]


Finally, a cure for Koro.
posted by anazgnos at 4:28 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


They will be missing out on a pretty good mythological reference by not calling this the Isis or Osiris procedure.
posted by NoraReed at 4:35 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Srsly, if I die & they can save my junk and for somethin like this… fuck the singularity/ upload your consciousness silliness; THIS is an imortality worth having.

Every man dies.

Not every man's cock goes on fucking after he dies.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 4:40 PM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


Per the article, upwards of 250 young men every year lose their junk due to some boondock butcher with a rusty blade.

That's some fucked-up odds to roll the dice on, culture or not.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 4:46 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Circumcision at such an old age (seems like these boys get it done around the time of puberty) seems brutal even if it's not botched. Recovery time and pain is significantly worse than when done in infancy.
posted by rancher at 5:15 PM on March 15, 2015


Inga: You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. In the transference, the monster got part of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him?
[Dr. Frankenstein moans suggestively and approaches her in bed]
Inga: [gasping] Oh my goodness, I don't believe... [emits several somewhat painful-sounding moans and grunts] [singing] Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you! At last, I know the secret of it all!
posted by mosk at 5:27 PM on March 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


The doctor explained that adding an organ can have huge psychological effects, especially on someone's ego, to the point where it can induce psychosis.
"In 2006, a Chinese man had a penis transplant but his doctors removed the organ after two weeks due to “a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife”.
Psychological organ rejection?!?!
posted by Davenhill at 5:30 PM on March 15, 2015


a dr. strangelove kinda situation with a penis which has its own mind and hates its owner.

i'm not getting it what would be the difference


How I learned to stop worrying and love the dong.
posted by dr_dank at 6:02 PM on March 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


a dr. strangelove kinda situation with a penis which has its own mind and hates its owner.

Look Who's Talking!

(What a shame Rodney Dangerfield is no longer with us.)
posted by octobersurprise at 6:47 PM on March 15, 2015


Also noteworthy last week: A doctor reports on help for men who break their penises (link goes to a New England Journal of Medicine page that is NSFW and NSFtheSqueamish).
posted by adamg at 6:51 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's like the real life version of the 1971 British penis transplant movie, Percy.
posted by jonp72 at 6:57 PM on March 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dr Dracator: "a dr. strangelove kinda situation with a penis which has its own mind and hates its owner.

i'm not getting it what would be the difference
"

Talk to me after you get a large penis transplant and your penis tries to strangle you.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 7:02 PM on March 15, 2015


Also noteworthy last week: A doctor reports on help for men who break their penises (link goes to a New England Journal of Medicine page that is NSFW and NSFtheSqueamish).
posted by adamg at 9:51 PM on March 15 [+] [!]


Contains the following phrase:

The classic eggplant deformity...

Further disclaimer: the "More Images in Clinical Medicine" link you will find there is not your friend.

All very interesting, though. Horrifying. But interesting.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:02 PM on March 15, 2015


Here are some thoughts on the penis transplant from a trans guy. If you want to find out about the current surgeries available to trans guys, the relevant search terms are metoidioplasty and phalloplasty (these searches will bring up explicit medical images). Here's an article about the current technology in achieving erections for trans guys (contains anatomical diagrams so maybe nsfw).
posted by desjardins at 8:20 PM on March 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


Yeah, my inbox and social media are overflowing with both links to the various news articles, and asks of why this isn't an option for transguys (cue a variety of lefty or healthcare rationing rants).
Tl:dr:
There need to be the full array of soft tissue/nerves/blood supply to attach to, which transmen do not have
Taking immune-suppressing drugs for the rest of one's life - drugs with significant health consequences, especially over many decades
Plus - psychological adjustment issues that have never been treated before. The first transplant we know of, in China last year, was REMOVED less than a month after surgery due to psychological problems with BOTH the new host and their partner.

For transmen, back to learning to cope, prostheses, sub-optimal surgeries, or waiting decades for autologous stem-cell custom-grown penii. But hey, as long as we have landmines and cis-guys who go over the handlebars of their motorcycles, there will be plenty of calls for lab-grown penis replacements.
posted by Dreidl at 8:51 PM on March 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


I can see this becoming a new urban legend: guy with two kidneys and a big schlong goes back to hotel room with strange girl he met at the bar, wakes up in the morning with only a single kidney ...
posted by doctor tough love at 9:33 PM on March 15, 2015


This is where the black market for organs gets interesting.
posted by saysthis at 11:42 PM on March 15, 2015


So, nobody got my joke? Does it come in different colors?
Anybody? No?
[walks away sadly]
posted by sexyrobot at 1:36 AM on March 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Someone should contact Lars von Trier (he's not in my rolodex) and suggest this as the topic for a new film. Perhaps a sequel/prequel to his blockbuster nympho films?

Imagine Shia LaBeouf with the Frankenweenie ...
posted by despues at 5:40 AM on March 16, 2015


ftm: "[...] it certainly seems like it might currently be somewhere between prohibitively complicated and completely impossible, in the case of somebody with no wangstump."

I'm no biologist - I majored in 80's pop hits - but I'm pretty sure everybody have fun tonight
everybody wang stump tonight
everybody have fun tonight
everybody wang stump tonight
posted by komara at 6:52 AM on March 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Every successful transplant brings us closer to that wonderful day when they're routine. I probably won't live to see it, but hopefully kids today will live to see a time when rejection and donor shortages are a thing of the past and everyone can be made whole. I doubt my bits will be good enough for anyone to want, but the donor box is checked just in case.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:18 AM on March 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


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