Self Help Books You Wish Existed
March 18, 2015 8:56 AM   Subscribe

Someone made his/her own self help books.

And then, placed them onto the shelves of a bookstore--an act sometimes called droplifting. Reddit thinks that LA's Book Soup is the location.
posted by Ideefixe (51 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
Ok. shut up, here's my money.

Where are the PDF downloads so that I can print some of these up for 'placement' at my local library.

Bwaa ha hahahaaa.


ps. a moth walks into a podiatrists office.....
posted by bricksNmortar at 9:05 AM on March 18, 2015


Obvious Plant Publishing, FTW
posted by chavenet at 9:05 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


Check the ISBNs out too.. Two of them resolve, one to Frankenstein, the other, well, it's funny..
posted by k5.user at 9:05 AM on March 18, 2015


From the comments: "My son is a centaur because of sorcery. Yep, sorcery. TOOOOOtally not because I banged a horse or whatever."
posted by Gilbert at 9:06 AM on March 18, 2015 [8 favorites]


an act sometimes called droplifting.

Shouldn't that be "shopdropping"?
posted by yoink at 9:15 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


'But...You're a Horse'
posted by ian1977 at 9:16 AM on March 18, 2015 [18 favorites]


Cute. Strongly reminiscent of Sean Tejaratchi's style.

The centaur one gave me a moment's pause. It seemed like, given how trans issues are finally coming to the fore in mainstream culture, the joke is perhaps less "random" than it wants to appear, especially with the discourse of understanding a child's so-called life choices. It's obviously not targeting trans people per se, but something about it made me feel like that was the topical subtext. Probably just over-interpreting.
posted by clockzero at 9:18 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


There just might be a copy of Dalton Wilcox's magnum opus, You Must Buy Your Wife At Least As Much Jewelry As You Buy Your Horse And Other Poems And Observations Humorous And Otherwise From A Life On The Range on my library's shelves right now.

I also know for a fact that in the Harvard Business School Library's archives, there is a copy of the Syndicate Handbook from Mage: The Ascension. How it got there, uh, I dunno?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:20 AM on March 18, 2015 [8 favorites]


Is there some place I can order the "Learn to dress yourself!" one...I need to know for....er...a friend....
posted by Captain_Science at 9:27 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Probably just over-interpreting.

I think "HAS A SORCERER TURNED YOUR SON INTO A CENTAUR?" pretty much agrees with this. It also says on the inner flap, "It took a long time for me to accept my centaur sons... hopefully this book will get you there a lot sooner."
posted by graymouser at 9:28 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


BTW, I just shared this with a friend who does data entry for a book distributor. His response:
"You should see the "self-surgery guide" I added a couple weeks back."
posted by graymouser at 9:39 AM on March 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


I would by every book in the "YOU ARE AN ADULT" series.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:43 AM on March 18, 2015 [9 favorites]


an act sometimes called droplifting.

Shouldn't that be "shopdropping"?


Cutesy-poo terms like this almost always go for sound over logical construction.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 9:43 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


Just confirming that it looks more like someone just made the dust jackets and wrapped them around a random book, as opposed to actually writing and printing a book.

I mean, either way is awesome, but one seems like it would take a hell of a lot more work and planning.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:44 AM on March 18, 2015


The centaur one gave me a moment's pause.

Yeah, I felt the same way. I kind of think that the author probably didn't mean it, but it's a bit to close to the "loving my child despite their [specific LGBTQ identity]" books to feel entirely comfortable. Sort of the way most [absurd noun]-American jokes are not meant to mock racial issues but still feel tender around the edges.

That said, the Gary the Skateboarding Duck books were horrible; they make you want to sacrifice yourself to Satan. Which, now that I think of it, may be the point.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:45 AM on March 18, 2015


Cutesy-poo terms like this almost always go for sound over logical construction.

It's like when everything that involves folding is something-igami, when it's the "ori-" part that means "folding."
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:46 AM on March 18, 2015 [7 favorites]




Well, you know, there are a lot of silly words out there. Much like how adding 'gate' to something is used to describe a raging clusterfuck.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 9:54 AM on March 18, 2015


The "Human Sacrifice for Dummies" made me remember an almost forgotten sample chapter sitting on my kindle from a very useful book giving step-by-step instructions on how to perform some basic necromancy.

Used to love books like that. Highly detailed manuals on how to perform some highly improbable magic.
posted by honestcoyote at 9:55 AM on March 18, 2015


I was going to bring up the "gate" thing!

You know, I wonder how many Kids These Days™--maybe even some of those involved in GamerGate--don't even know where the -gate suffix comes from in the first place.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 9:57 AM on March 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


Used to love books like that. Highly detailed manuals on how to perform some highly improbable magic.

I picked this up from a Half Price Books way back when. No idea where it is now.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 9:59 AM on March 18, 2015


Yeah, I wonder what suffix we'd be using if the events that conceived the Watergate scandal actually happened in a Howard Johnson's.
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 10:10 AM on March 18, 2015


Yeah, I wonder what suffix we'd be using...

No one cares about GamerJohnson.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:18 AM on March 18, 2015 [5 favorites]


2007 NYT story on shopdroppers
posted by Ideefixe at 10:19 AM on March 18, 2015


No one cares about GamerJohnson.

Untrue. Grooblers are extremely concerned about gamers' johnsons.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:20 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I resent the implication that you should stop being afraid of mirrors.
posted by bswinburn at 10:22 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


LiarTown USA makes fake book covers, too
posted by rebent at 10:24 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


My family's favorite potluck dessert for a while...Howie Salad?
posted by Klaxon Aoooogah at 10:24 AM on March 18, 2015


You know, I wonder how many Kids These Days™--maybe even some of those involved in GamerGate--don't even know where the -gate suffix comes from in the first place.

I wonder how many people read about "Watergate" and think "so I wonder what kind of scandal could have centered around water?"
posted by yoink at 10:30 AM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


I also know for a fact that in the Harvard Business School Library's archives, there is a copy of the Syndicate Handbook from Mage: The Ascension. How it got there, uh, I dunno?

For a while the University of Chicago libraries had an item in the catalog called "Red Hat". It was my boss's red hat with a bar code on it. This was all fun and games until he started getting late fees and it had to be removed from the catalog.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:30 AM on March 18, 2015 [13 favorites]


If only it had went down at the Waldorf hotel instead, so that every scandal would have to have the -dorf suffix.
posted by idiopath at 10:33 AM on March 18, 2015 [9 favorites]


The scandal of our editing the history books to make this happen will be known as Dorfgatedorf if we succeed, or Gatedorfgate if we fail.
posted by idiopath at 10:34 AM on March 18, 2015 [7 favorites]


I wonder how many people read about "Watergate" and think "so I wonder what kind of scandal could have centered around water?"

The kind who do not come from the near-future southwest USA.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 10:36 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


I really need the You Are An Adult Series "Learn to...Form Complete Sentences" book to exist. I can see the chapter headings: At An Interview; When Speaking To A Hot Person; Arguments; Talking To Your Bank Manager...
Anyone for a Kickstarter?
posted by billiebee at 10:39 AM on March 18, 2015


I wonder how many people read about "Watergate" and think "so I wonder what kind of scandal could have centered around water?"

The kind who do not come from the near-future southwest USA.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 1:36 PM on March 18 [+] [!]


Forget it Steely-eyed Missile Man, it's Metafilter.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:42 AM on March 18, 2015 [7 favorites]


The kind who do not come from the near-future southwest USA.

Although, when you think about it, that's going to present a real problem for headline writers whenever that future scandal does arise. "State Government Rocked by Water-uh-thingy!"
posted by yoink at 10:52 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


I am sure it will just be called "watergate" without a hint of irony, or at least not one that I will be able to detect over the heady tang of my cyanide pill.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 11:11 AM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


Maybe it's because I live in a pretty progressive area but the genderqueer kids I've run into I think would find the centaur/trans subtext pretty hilarious. If the author had picked something awful, I don't think it would work, but centaurs are always cool in the stories.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:23 AM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


The human sacrifice book is shelved incorrectly (not in alpha order with the surrounding authors). What a sick person!
posted by Pistache at 11:23 AM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


"the rest of this interview will be centaur questions"
posted by The Whelk at 12:25 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


A hard candy shell with a chewy centaur.
posted by chavenet at 12:29 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


I want someone to droplift "Knickerless Knickleby" by Edmund Wells at a bookstore and then ask the proprietor if they have a copy.
posted by Enemy of Joy at 12:46 PM on March 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


Maybe I'm weird, but the funniest part of it all was the names of the authors.

Dr. Pinder Chipps
Agnes Brangles
Lord Bing Shipley

it's like the best part of the joke
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:00 PM on March 18, 2015


These are such a perfect counterpoint to these terrible kindle covers.

I know ian1977 has seen this!
posted by chatongriffes at 1:18 PM on March 18, 2015


Like short-sheeting a book shelf.
posted by clavdivs at 1:41 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


Cute Idea, so-so execution. The typography inside the jackets looks way off to me.
posted by signal at 2:19 PM on March 18, 2015


I wonder how many people read about "Watergate" and think "so I wonder what kind of scandal could have centered around water?"

Of course there's a relevant Mitchell and Web.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:11 PM on March 18, 2015 [2 favorites]


In case it's not clear, these are from the "Obvious Plant" guy, here's his tumblr

Fake signage and what not of all kinds.
posted by RustyBrooks at 7:41 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


"Obvious Plant" guy also has a 'regular blog' titled "Pleated Jeans" that I consider the BEST aggregator of silly stuff on the web today, especially his daily "Funny Pic Dumps". By following his blog on RSS, I can safely ignore most of Tumblr and Twitter and know I'll still see most of what's funny.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:08 PM on March 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


Nobody can beat Sean Tejaratchi/LiarTown's made-up names, but these are still pretty nice. I love a good shopdrop. Cement Cuddlers, anyone?
posted by queensissy at 10:22 PM on March 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


How funny, I follow Pleated Jeans also and did not realize it was the same guy (although maybe I should have known, because he did a lot of that stuff too)
posted by RustyBrooks at 6:32 AM on March 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


« Older For a GNU dawn! For freedom!   |   The televised will not be a revolution Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments