Some Squee For Your Monday
March 30, 2015 11:39 AM   Subscribe

 
Awww, look at his creepy little monkey fingers giving them scritches.
posted by phunniemee at 11:50 AM on March 30, 2015 [10 favorites]


"where do you guys keep your fleas"
posted by rhizome at 11:52 AM on March 30, 2015 [4 favorites]


Capuchin monkeys are raging assholes. They have large canines and their brains are as big (or bigger) than humans', relative to their body size. In forests, they are destructive foragers, moving through the canopy and tearing shit up in an effort to find food. They fight pretty intensely with those giant canines. They are VERY smart and get bored easily. There was a group of capuchins who had their home range around my cabin when I was working in Peru; they would regularly snap large branches off of trees and chuck them at me. The monkeys we were studying would run off in fear whenever they heard capuchins approaching.

People who willingly bring capuchin monkeys into their lives completely baffle me. They DO NOT make good pets. They are relatively easy to train because they are smart, but they get bored and then you have a bored three-year old with giant canines, a prehensile tail, and the ability to climb running around your home. DON'T DO IT. I would frankly rather hang out in close proximity with baboons than I would with capuchins, and I've actively been attacked by baboons.
posted by ChuraChura at 11:56 AM on March 30, 2015 [58 favorites]


The puppies seem remarkably unfazed -- perhaps it is not their first time meeting a monkey?
posted by janey47 at 11:56 AM on March 30, 2015




...and I've actively been attacked by baboons.

You can't just drop that and walk away.
posted by goHermGO at 12:03 PM on March 30, 2015 [32 favorites]


People who willingly bring capuchin monkeys into their lives completely baffle me.

Once again, I blame 1994's Monkey Trouble, a virulent piece of pro-Capuchin/anti-Romani propaganda.
posted by Iridic at 12:04 PM on March 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


This video makes me nervous. The only reason that you can be sure that the monkey doesn't just snap a puppy's neck for the hell of it is because it's been widely shared as a "cute" video. The owner had no way of knowing it wouldn't.
posted by Countess Elena at 12:05 PM on March 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


You can't just drop that and walk away.

No, you should drop, curl into a ball, and protect your head with your arms.
posted by The Gaffer at 12:19 PM on March 30, 2015 [6 favorites]


I dislike monkeys and also strongly second ChuraChura's negative comments about capuchins in particular, but nonetheless this video made me say "awwwww" when I caught it on local news this morning. The way the capuchin acted reflected just how I and most of the rest of us feel about puppies.

Having said that, I don't understand why these people have a capuchin or why they let it do as it wished with a litter of helpless little pups.
posted by bearwife at 12:19 PM on March 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


Before I was officially studying monkeys, I knew I wanted to work in equatorial Africa, so I studied Swahili in college. We had a summer study abroad program in Kenya where we got to do intensive Swahili studies with our professor, and also get to explore Kenya and some of the things we were particularly interested in, which for me included a lot of stuff about safaris and wildlife and the like. So we went to Lake Nakuru National Park in central Kenya. Our professor hired this fantastic safari guide who was a Masai man named Ishmael, and he drove us around Lake Nakuru and explained what we were seeing and such...

So we stopped along this safari to eat lunch on the aptly-named Baboon Cliff. I am not a big fan of cliffs or drops off of them, so I was eating at the picnic table with Ishmael and my professor while the other students on sat closer to the edge of the cliff. We'd started eating our lunches when a school bus full of Kenyan kids drove up to where we were sitting. Ishmael said something to the effect of, "Oh - this is very bad. The baboons know that kids have food; they'll come up and try to steal our food!" so he started trying to round us all up to get into the vans and move on before the baboons showed up. Except it was too late, and the baboons had started scrambling up the cliff, literally snagging the sandwiches and juiceboxes from peoples' hands as everyone tried to get away from them.

Now, my Swahili professor is from Central Kenya and spent a portion of his early childhood helping guard his family's crops from pests, including baboons, and it turns out that he is quite afraid of baboons. As soon as Ishmael mentioned what was going to happen, our professor ran back to the van and locked himself in, so none of us could get in and away from the baboons. Meanwhile, Ishmael had picked up a giant stick and was hitting baboons with it, our driver Mugo was throwing rocks at baboons, and the Kenyan kids in the school bus were dying of laughter. The other students on the trip were freaking out, and I was sitting entranced by the whole thing, amazed by the fact that I'd actually been TOUCHED BY A BABOON. Finally, our professor realized what had happened and unlocked a door so we all scrambled back in to the van, pulled Ishmael away from the baboons he was whacking, and drove away in relative health and safety while the baboons frolicked with our leftovers and where we'd just been sitting and eating.

It was awesome. Capuchins, however, are not.
posted by ChuraChura at 12:24 PM on March 30, 2015 [63 favorites]


"Oh - this is very bad. The baboons know that kids have food; they'll come up and try to steal our food!"

Sharing is caring.
posted by imnotasquirrel at 12:26 PM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


The only reason that you can be sure that the monkey doesn't just snap a puppy's neck for the hell of it is because it's been widely shared as a "cute" video.

I feel the same way about any video featuring a young child cradling and cooing over an infant sibling.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:35 PM on March 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


How much does that monkey charge for dog sitting?
posted by Flood at 12:41 PM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Except it was too late, and the baboons had started scrambling up the cliff, literally snagging the sandwiches and juiceboxes from peoples' hands as everyone tried to get away from them.

...and this sort of story is exactly why I love Metafilter. Thank you for sharing it, ChuraChura!
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:44 PM on March 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


> I studied Swahili in college

So is your username from Swahili chura 'frog'? Inquiring minds want to know!
posted by languagehat at 12:52 PM on March 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


It is! On that trip, I had a frog ring that I gave to the really nice lady who was teaching us how to cook Swahili food :-)
posted by ChuraChura at 12:56 PM on March 30, 2015 [5 favorites]


A capuchin is unlikely to snap a puppy's neck, but I would be worried about it biting them if it became alarmed or felt threatened. Plus, of course, as other posters have said, wild animals do not make good pets, monkeys and apes especially due to their need for both security and stimulation.
posted by tavella at 12:58 PM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


I think monkey was young enough that it was responding to the puppies like they were a cluster of monkey breasts. To me, it seemed to be reflexively nursing.

Also, I'll drop my monkey attack story here.
posted by bonobothegreat at 1:00 PM on March 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


So basically the baboons encouraged you to drop that and walk away.
posted by Ashenmote at 1:16 PM on March 30, 2015


The only reason that you can be sure that the monkey doesn't just snap a puppy's neck for the hell of it is because it's been widely shared as a "cute" video.

Well, when you record a non-domesticated animal interacting with the young of another species, there is always the chance it will wind up on the news: either in the first ten minutes, prefaced with "terrifying footage," or in the last five minutes, described as "adorable."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:20 PM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Some friends of mine were attacked by Tibetan Macaques while we were all climbing Mt Emei in China. They were further up the trail, and as I was walking along I saw the trail littered with torn-open backpacks, open pill containers, cameras, crushed insulin vials, and all kinds of other stuff. I threw all of the junk into one pack, grabbed an official Monkey Stick from beside the trail, and had to beat back more monkeys as I got higher up.

A guide at the top told me that not long before our trip, a tourist from Hong Kong was chucked off a cliff by the same troupe.

Monkeys are dicks.
posted by 1adam12 at 1:20 PM on March 30, 2015 [6 favorites]


I keep reading the post title as: Some squee for your MONKEY

Capuchins are horrible little biters that love to crap everywhere. I worked for a woman that had 2 of them. In the first five minutes after being around them, my response went from "adorable" to "ASSHOLES"
posted by BlueHorse at 1:30 PM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: they'll come up and try to steal our food.
posted by JohnFromGR at 1:31 PM on March 30, 2015


Capuchins are tremendously intelligent, social, fantastic animals. In the wild, where they belong.

When they are abused, taken from the mother they should be spending years with at a few weeks, a mother who herself was almost certainly abused to the point of insanity; when they are deprived of the social group they need to become healthy adults; when they are treated as a toy or possession, they will become mentally ill. Like nearly any primate will.

I'm not hugely fond of people dismissing them as "assholes" when domestic capuchins are victims. Capuchin *owners* are assholes; capuchins are not.
posted by tavella at 1:47 PM on March 30, 2015 [13 favorites]


I can't help but fear that this isn't as adorable as it appears, and the monkey is actually selecting his mount for when the monkeys rise up and overthrow/enslave all mankind
posted by ilama at 2:24 PM on March 30, 2015


The only reason that you can be sure that the monkey doesn't just snap a puppy's neck for the hell of it is because it's been widely shared as a "cute" video. The owner had no way of knowing it wouldn't.

Kinda like humans?

I think monkey was young enough that it was responding to the puppies like they were a cluster of monkey breasts. To me, it seemed to be reflexively nursing.

Kinda like humans?
posted by Pyrogenesis at 4:03 PM on March 30, 2015


Ah, fond memories of going to my college Girlfriend's anthro professor's house and being greeted by his monkey. I have less find memories of being greeted the day he stood in the stairs having taken his diaper off, and throwing feecees at us.... Fun times... Monkeys...
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:45 PM on March 30, 2015


Gotta love teh kewt puppy video that leads to conversations about face-eating, amputation, shit-throwing and extreme violence.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round for dinner.
posted by Devonian at 5:30 PM on March 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


MetaFilter: conversations about face-eating, amputation, shit-throwing, and extreme violence.

(and appropriate use of the Oxford comma)
posted by tempestuoso at 6:32 PM on March 30, 2015 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: after being around them, my response went from "adorable" to "ASSHOLES".
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 8:44 PM on March 30, 2015 [3 favorites]


Portrait videos make baby Jesus cry.
posted by Snowflake at 9:45 PM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]


I had no idea Metafilter was such a haven of monkey hate.
posted by CynicalKnight at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2015


To cheer up this thread, here's a story about how one captive capuchin was very lucky and was rescued from a life of abuse to be integrated with a troop, with some very dedicated work. It's hard being a good monkey foster mom!

And she also needed to teach him how to. . . well, essentially, how to be a monkey. Like how to use his tail: “I would help him wind it round a branch and then hold his weight so he would feel safe but realize what his tail could do. And then I would hold him progressively less so he could learn how to use it.” At first Mally would not walk on grass -- he had apparently never seen it before. “It’s not as tragic as one might think,” Niewöhner says. “Every small monkey has to encounter it for the first time. I had to show him everything -- had to teach him not to eat bees or wasps for example, but that beetles and worms were good. I would give him the beetles that I found there between my lips so he would take them.”
posted by tavella at 10:49 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]


In the first five minutes after being around them, my response went from "adorable" to "ASSHOLES"

May I rephrase this?

In the first five minutes...went from animals which adapt to captivity and thus behave just "adorable" to recognizing that they are animals which are wild and not adaptive to captivity, and therefore behave like "ASSHOLES" which the idiot owner totally deserves.

Wild animals gotta wild.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:21 AM on March 31, 2015


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