"Those balls look right, they look good, and they're stayin'."
March 30, 2015 11:27 PM Subscribe
After controversy over a bull sculpture's genitalia the owner of a Hurricane, Utah restaurant removed the offending penis from his business' sign. In an interview (skip to 19:50) he made sure it was known he wasn't bowing to pressure and removed the penis for aesthetic reasons, and that the testicles are staying.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- frimble
Just another cock and bull story...
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:28 AM on March 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:28 AM on March 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
I like my beef properly hung but...
posted by biffa at 12:42 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by biffa at 12:42 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
I really hope there's a lightbulb at the end of the penis.
posted by ZaneJ. at 1:15 AM on March 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by ZaneJ. at 1:15 AM on March 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
They should put hundreds of them all over the US, just like the Osborne bull in Spain, which is now of "aesthetic or cultural significance" and pretty much part of the landscape.
posted by elgilito at 1:30 AM on March 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by elgilito at 1:30 AM on March 31, 2015 [3 favorites]
I don't understand. Its a bull. That's what they have. Should it have underwear?
posted by rongorongo at 2:14 AM on March 31, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by rongorongo at 2:14 AM on March 31, 2015 [8 favorites]
If you've seen it, it wasn't so much an anatomically correct portrayal, rather it looked like the bull was wearing a giant party hat in a rather inappropriate location.
Also, the Yelp page for the restaurant is fun to read. There was a lot of bull going on there before the sculpture was added to the sign.
posted by mmoncur at 2:27 AM on March 31, 2015 [19 favorites]
Also, the Yelp page for the restaurant is fun to read. There was a lot of bull going on there before the sculpture was added to the sign.
posted by mmoncur at 2:27 AM on March 31, 2015 [19 favorites]
Do bull penises look like upside-down party hats? This is trivia that I must know.
posted by zardoz at 3:33 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by zardoz at 3:33 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Can't imagine why you don't google it.
posted by Segundus at 3:48 AM on March 31, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by Segundus at 3:48 AM on March 31, 2015 [16 favorites]
Metafilter: ALSO COVERED IN TERIYAKI SAUCE
posted by schoolgirl report at 4:26 AM on March 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by schoolgirl report at 4:26 AM on March 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
But children might see it and then, er, well... I've never quite worked out what happens next that's so terrible, but then I grew up in a place with farms. I know lots of farmers' daughters who saw All That Sort Of Thing and didn't grow up to be society-endangering perverts. No more than the rest of us, anyhow.
A compromise, in these high-tech days, might be to have an animatronic pizzle that shrinks to whatever size is adjudged safe for the unsullied infant eyes (I'd love to be on that committee - shades of Gill's Ariel statue outside Broadcasting House) during school hours, and then restores itself to its full glory when the hour permits. It could be controlled by an, if you will, Harduino.
posted by Devonian at 4:31 AM on March 31, 2015 [11 favorites]
A compromise, in these high-tech days, might be to have an animatronic pizzle that shrinks to whatever size is adjudged safe for the unsullied infant eyes (I'd love to be on that committee - shades of Gill's Ariel statue outside Broadcasting House) during school hours, and then restores itself to its full glory when the hour permits. It could be controlled by an, if you will, Harduino.
posted by Devonian at 4:31 AM on March 31, 2015 [11 favorites]
You gotta love the guy's rants (in the first link) about people "violating [his] amendment rights" and such. Er, which Constitutional amendment guarantees a citizen's right to display enormous and eccentrically styled bull penises in front of his restaurant again?
I don't care about the statue, but I hope they take away his business license just for being such a fantastically ignorant blowhard.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 5:04 AM on March 31, 2015
I don't care about the statue, but I hope they take away his business license just for being such a fantastically ignorant blowhard.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 5:04 AM on March 31, 2015
Do bull penises look like upside-down party hats? This is trivia that I must know.
posted by zardoz
Of course! Bulls like to party.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 5:07 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by zardoz
Of course! Bulls like to party.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 5:07 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Er, which Constitutional amendment guarantees a citizen's right to display enormous and eccentrically styled bull penises in front of his restaurant again?
Had to do some digging, looks like maybe... the First? Seems sort of an obscure clause in the document, not sure it's even still relevant today.
posted by Metafilter Username at 5:10 AM on March 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
Had to do some digging, looks like maybe... the First? Seems sort of an obscure clause in the document, not sure it's even still relevant today.
posted by Metafilter Username at 5:10 AM on March 31, 2015 [13 favorites]
Had to do some digging, looks like maybe... the First?
Exactly as our founding fathers intended :^)
posted by surazal at 5:14 AM on March 31, 2015
Exactly as our founding fathers intended :^)
posted by surazal at 5:14 AM on March 31, 2015
Daughter: Daddy, what's that big thing hanging underneath the bull?
Daddy: Um...You should probably ask your mother about that.
Daughter: I did, but she said it was nothing.
Daddy: Well, sweetheart, your mother is a very spoiled woman.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:15 AM on March 31, 2015 [38 favorites]
Daddy: Um...You should probably ask your mother about that.
Daughter: I did, but she said it was nothing.
Daddy: Well, sweetheart, your mother is a very spoiled woman.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:15 AM on March 31, 2015 [38 favorites]
Just get Dean Wormer on it.
posted by Captain l'escalier at 5:20 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by Captain l'escalier at 5:20 AM on March 31, 2015
Maybe... it was meant to look like... an ice cream cone, but with... a bull on top of it rather than a scoop of ice cream. Sure, the artist did not... exactly... realize the owner's vision, but it was a fair try....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:27 AM on March 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:27 AM on March 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
He was trying to be provocative and it worked maybe a bit too well.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:00 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by Dip Flash at 6:00 AM on March 31, 2015
Daughter: . . .
Daddy: . . .
So, some years ago I read an article about the Smithsonian -- or perhaps it was in the Smithsonian Magazine. In any case, the museum in question was quite proud of their new modern up-to-date dioramae, notably the ones illustrating the Neanderthal. They had used the latest information about the physical culture of the Neanderthal, their tools and weapons, their posture and skin tones, facial feature with realistic expressions, and so on.
Anatomically, they were for the most part as realistic as they could be. The figures were nude, of course. Mrs. N uninhibitedly nursed her young with a pair of realistic, if perhaps, optimistic humanoid breasts. All the adult figures had body hair, including plausible denser patches of pubic hair. Having gone this far, however, the designers had apparently lost their nerve and had declined to supply Mr. N with his natural external genitalia.
The writer of the article told of being present at the exhibit's opening and reported some of the crowd reaction, including this overheard conversation between a father and his young daughter.
Daughter: Daaaddy! That Neanderthal doesn't have a penis!
Father: Yes, dear. Maybe that's why they went extinct.
posted by Herodios at 6:03 AM on March 31, 2015 [44 favorites]
Daddy: . . .
So, some years ago I read an article about the Smithsonian -- or perhaps it was in the Smithsonian Magazine. In any case, the museum in question was quite proud of their new modern up-to-date dioramae, notably the ones illustrating the Neanderthal. They had used the latest information about the physical culture of the Neanderthal, their tools and weapons, their posture and skin tones, facial feature with realistic expressions, and so on.
Anatomically, they were for the most part as realistic as they could be. The figures were nude, of course. Mrs. N uninhibitedly nursed her young with a pair of realistic, if perhaps, optimistic humanoid breasts. All the adult figures had body hair, including plausible denser patches of pubic hair. Having gone this far, however, the designers had apparently lost their nerve and had declined to supply Mr. N with his natural external genitalia.
The writer of the article told of being present at the exhibit's opening and reported some of the crowd reaction, including this overheard conversation between a father and his young daughter.
Daughter: Daaaddy! That Neanderthal doesn't have a penis!
Father: Yes, dear. Maybe that's why they went extinct.
posted by Herodios at 6:03 AM on March 31, 2015 [44 favorites]
Well, if it's going to be one of THOSE threads... Also in related news..
posted by Devonian at 6:51 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by Devonian at 6:51 AM on March 31, 2015
Maybe... it was meant to look like... an ice cream cone, but with... a bull on top of it rather than a scoop of ice cream. Sure, the artist did not... exactly... realize the owner's vision, but it was a fair try....
You mean sort of like that bloody mary thing in Milwaukee, where it started with meat skewers until some restaurant put an entire fried chicken on it?
"The meat skewers in the ice cream were fun, the fried chicken was outrageous, but when they started to put entire spit-roasted bulls as garnish on their ice cream cones, I thought they were overdoing it a little..."
posted by sour cream at 6:53 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
You mean sort of like that bloody mary thing in Milwaukee, where it started with meat skewers until some restaurant put an entire fried chicken on it?
"The meat skewers in the ice cream were fun, the fried chicken was outrageous, but when they started to put entire spit-roasted bulls as garnish on their ice cream cones, I thought they were overdoing it a little..."
posted by sour cream at 6:53 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
'Murca.
posted by flyingsquirrel at 7:03 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by flyingsquirrel at 7:03 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
What would you expect from a town that pronounces hurricane "hurri-ken"
posted by Ferreous at 7:09 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Ferreous at 7:09 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Well, I decided someone had to bite the bullet and check so I just added "bull penis" to my google search history (hi NSA!), and apparently some bulls do actually look like they've got a party hat sticking down between their legs. Though none of the pictures I saw had one quite so large.
I've come to two conclusions
1) The restaurant owner is a blowhard jackass.
2) The people worried about children seeing it are even worse.
I'm also reminded of the fact that at my old university, West Texas A&M University in Canyon Texas, they commissioned a giant sculpture of a buffalo (that being the school mascot), and had to be sure that everyone knew it was a male buffalo by including two grapefruit sized marble testicles, and a lovingly sculpted buffalo anus.
I've always wondered if that was some sort of statement, because the marble buffalo anus is pointed straight at the university President's office.
posted by sotonohito at 7:15 AM on March 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
I've come to two conclusions
1) The restaurant owner is a blowhard jackass.
2) The people worried about children seeing it are even worse.
I'm also reminded of the fact that at my old university, West Texas A&M University in Canyon Texas, they commissioned a giant sculpture of a buffalo (that being the school mascot), and had to be sure that everyone knew it was a male buffalo by including two grapefruit sized marble testicles, and a lovingly sculpted buffalo anus.
I've always wondered if that was some sort of statement, because the marble buffalo anus is pointed straight at the university President's office.
posted by sotonohito at 7:15 AM on March 31, 2015 [9 favorites]
Of course, statues and questionable testicles have a long history. Several famous mares have had testicles, and occasionally a penis, added because people got upset about the historic fact that their (big, bold, male) heroes rode female horses.
The statue to John Hunt Morgan, Confederate scumbag, shows him riding a horse named Black Bess. In real life she was a mare, historically cavalrymen often preferred mares or geldings as stallions were often too aggressive. But the sculptor was horrified at the thought of a "hero" who owned human beings and used torture and rape to prevent them from rebelling, riding a mare. So Black Bess has balls, as do many other sculpted mares of famous military men.
posted by sotonohito at 7:21 AM on March 31, 2015 [17 favorites]
The statue to John Hunt Morgan, Confederate scumbag, shows him riding a horse named Black Bess. In real life she was a mare, historically cavalrymen often preferred mares or geldings as stallions were often too aggressive. But the sculptor was horrified at the thought of a "hero" who owned human beings and used torture and rape to prevent them from rebelling, riding a mare. So Black Bess has balls, as do many other sculpted mares of famous military men.
posted by sotonohito at 7:21 AM on March 31, 2015 [17 favorites]
If you have a dog then you surely know that "bully sticks" (smoked bull penises) are for sale in every pet food store. They look nothing like party hats. More like extra-long bbq skewers. Maybe the artist added all the party-hat padding because a skewer would break off to easily?
Anyway, I also don't get why we care if kids see this (except perhaps that they will have a impressionism of what a bull penis looks like, but I have a feeling that this is the least important thing the children of parents who are up in arms about this will be ignorant and misinformed about).
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:29 AM on March 31, 2015
Anyway, I also don't get why we care if kids see this (except perhaps that they will have a impressionism of what a bull penis looks like, but I have a feeling that this is the least important thing the children of parents who are up in arms about this will be ignorant and misinformed about).
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:29 AM on March 31, 2015
I think it looks much better without the party-hat penis.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:31 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 7:31 AM on March 31, 2015
If only I had a penguin: from my image search it appears that a bull's penis is usually inside a conical casing of some sort. Outside the casing, yeah, bbq skewer, inside party hat! It's like the mullet of animal genitalia, business on the outside, party on the inside... Or something.
posted by sotonohito at 7:37 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by sotonohito at 7:37 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
What would you expect from a town that pronounces hurricane "hurri-ken"
It'd be pretty nice if MeFi could move away from linguistic prejudice juuuust a little bit more.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 7:45 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
It'd be pretty nice if MeFi could move away from linguistic prejudice juuuust a little bit more.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 7:45 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
In downtown Fort Worth, there was a similar brouhaha about a Longhorn topiary (this is the kind of thing one finds in Fort Worth) that was unabashedly male. He was snipped, and they took the whole, uh, package.
posted by emjaybee at 7:47 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by emjaybee at 7:47 AM on March 31, 2015
Also, the Yelp page for the restaurant is fun to read.
One reviewer got a nasty message from one of the restaurant's employees.
posted by LindsayIrene at 7:50 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
One reviewer got a nasty message from one of the restaurant's employees.
posted by LindsayIrene at 7:50 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Do bull penises look like upside-down party hats? This is trivia that I must know.
Not even remotely. (Bulls aren't particularly well-hung at all, even when it counts.) There's a sort of mound there, but it's generally more of a berm than a Matterhorn. I rather suspect the sculptor is one of those people who doesn't quite grok the difference between a bull and a cow, and just sort of guessed at the configuration of its undercarriage.
FWIW, all your animal penis questions can be answered by YouTube. YouTube: Just pray your toddler never learns how to spell "horse."
posted by Sys Rq at 7:53 AM on March 31, 2015 [6 favorites]
Not even remotely. (Bulls aren't particularly well-hung at all, even when it counts.) There's a sort of mound there, but it's generally more of a berm than a Matterhorn. I rather suspect the sculptor is one of those people who doesn't quite grok the difference between a bull and a cow, and just sort of guessed at the configuration of its undercarriage.
FWIW, all your animal penis questions can be answered by YouTube. YouTube: Just pray your toddler never learns how to spell "horse."
posted by Sys Rq at 7:53 AM on March 31, 2015 [6 favorites]
I used to live a few miles from a service station that had a chainsaw bear (or gopher maybe) out front that was similarly anatomically exaggerated, it made me laugh every time I saw it. The google maps street view sadly lacks in clarity.
posted by peeedro at 8:05 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by peeedro at 8:05 AM on March 31, 2015
"Ward, who said he has spent a million dollars on signs for his 5,500-square-foot restaurant..."
I had no idea that poorly illustrated depictions of food on plastic signs were so expensive! I understand now why the pizza shop on my block had to raise their prices.
posted by orme at 8:13 AM on March 31, 2015
I had no idea that poorly illustrated depictions of food on plastic signs were so expensive! I understand now why the pizza shop on my block had to raise their prices.
posted by orme at 8:13 AM on March 31, 2015
The restaurant owner's utter disdain for his neighbors...
posted by Doleful Creature at 8:13 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by Doleful Creature at 8:13 AM on March 31, 2015
Hurricane is deep Mormon country. Judging by the beer & wine license and the restaurant owner's tattoos, I'm guessing he's not in particularly good standing with his local Ward. That may add a little context to the pissing match here and motivate his comments about the First Amendment.
That said, it was definitely a weird sculpture, I could see it raising eyebrows anywhere. Also everyone knows you want the bull in brass, and at street level, so that the balls get a regular polish to make them shiny.
I spent an afternoon in Hurricane once, it's the town closest to Zion National Park right before the metropolis of St. George. A lovely little town, very America. I had a great time visiting the Hurricane Pioneer Museum and talking to the nicest docent who explained some of the pioneer history to me. I was pretty ratty then; 21, unshaven, hair down to my ass, probably wearing filthy shorts and sandals. And everyone was polite and genuinely friendly. Hospitality is a real thing in that part of America.
posted by Nelson at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
That said, it was definitely a weird sculpture, I could see it raising eyebrows anywhere. Also everyone knows you want the bull in brass, and at street level, so that the balls get a regular polish to make them shiny.
I spent an afternoon in Hurricane once, it's the town closest to Zion National Park right before the metropolis of St. George. A lovely little town, very America. I had a great time visiting the Hurricane Pioneer Museum and talking to the nicest docent who explained some of the pioneer history to me. I was pretty ratty then; 21, unshaven, hair down to my ass, probably wearing filthy shorts and sandals. And everyone was polite and genuinely friendly. Hospitality is a real thing in that part of America.
posted by Nelson at 8:32 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
In downtown Fort Worth, there was a similar brouhaha about a Longhorn topiary (this is the kind of thing one finds in Fort Worth) that was unabashedly male. He was snipped, and they took the whole, uh, package.
That's actually appropriate, as the longest horns are generally seen on steers.
posted by TedW at 8:34 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
That's actually appropriate, as the longest horns are generally seen on steers.
posted by TedW at 8:34 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh wow that Yelp page is a trainwreck. Going back 4 years, many hugely negative comments about rude staff, high prices, bad food. It's not just locals who don't like the kooky guy and his bull penis. It reminds me of the worst gas station in America.
Visit Yelp for the negative reviews, but stay for "Stephen W's" responses in his own words. Yelp gives the identified business owner a chance to respond to comments; here's what he chose to write.
Visit Yelp for the negative reviews, but stay for "Stephen W's" responses in his own words. Yelp gives the identified business owner a chance to respond to comments; here's what he chose to write.
So go to Burger King and shut up haterposted by Nelson at 8:42 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
Oh I am sorry was that rude ?You haters can't handle a taste of your own medicine can you? Ok let's try this "sir your limousine is waiting outside Burger King is two blocks down " I hope you have a good day sir. Update! I think I will take your advice regarding your latest rambling except reverse it how about I give myself a Raise and raise my prices thanks for the great idea
The First Amendment does apply to public expression of storeowners and their signs. Obscenity can be regulated however. The question is whether an oversized party hat bull penis is considered obscene. I have a hard time believing that it rises to the level of obscenity even if it isn't anatomically correct - none of the three prongs of the Miller test are really satisfied, it doesn't solely appeal to the prurient interest, etc. I believe community standards are taken into account, which is definitely relevant for Mormon county, but still, I'd say this owner has a right to keep his hilariously awful eyesore up. God bless 'murica.
posted by naju at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by naju at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
There was this girl in junior high school whom I admired above all others. She was my age, but she was worldly and good in math, so I thought she knew everything.
We were hanging out beside a lake by a farm when my friend burst out "Angrycat, what are they doing? What are they DOING?"
I turned to see a bull mounting a cow. I knew they were fucking, but because this girl seemed to know everything, I started to believe that I was actually a total pervert for being able to look at two cattle and know they were getting it on.
I think I ended it by saying they were playing. And that's the best I got for a bull penis story. No party hats in evidence, but the action parts were, you know, hidden.
posted by angrycat at 9:03 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
We were hanging out beside a lake by a farm when my friend burst out "Angrycat, what are they doing? What are they DOING?"
I turned to see a bull mounting a cow. I knew they were fucking, but because this girl seemed to know everything, I started to believe that I was actually a total pervert for being able to look at two cattle and know they were getting it on.
I think I ended it by saying they were playing. And that's the best I got for a bull penis story. No party hats in evidence, but the action parts were, you know, hidden.
posted by angrycat at 9:03 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Very well then. Urine-soaked crucifixes for some, novelty-sized bovine penises for others!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:17 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:17 AM on March 31, 2015 [4 favorites]
I have a hard time believing that it rises to the level of obscenity even if it isn't anatomically correct
Oh fuck. That pun wasn't intentional, I promise.
posted by naju at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh fuck. That pun wasn't intentional, I promise.
posted by naju at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: the statement implied by the marble buffalo anus.
posted by jonp72 at 10:07 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jonp72 at 10:07 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
The best puns never are, naju.
posted by mogget at 10:26 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mogget at 10:26 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
"....removed the offending penis."
High on my list of offending phrases.
posted by mule98J at 10:30 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
High on my list of offending phrases.
posted by mule98J at 10:30 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
looked like the bull was wearing a giant party hat
Nothing wrong with that!
Lighten up people of 'merika. All the males got penees. 's a fact. A great big bull pizzle ggives you something to giggle over, and that makes you smile.
Actually, give that bull TWO party hats!
posted by BlueHorse at 10:38 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
Nothing wrong with that!
Lighten up people of 'merika. All the males got penees. 's a fact. A great big bull pizzle ggives you something to giggle over, and that makes you smile.
Actually, give that bull TWO party hats!
posted by BlueHorse at 10:38 AM on March 31, 2015 [1 favorite]
I spent an afternoon in Hurricane once, it's the town closest to Zion National Park right before the metropolis of St. George. A lovely little town, very America. I had a great time visiting the Hurricane Pioneer Museum and talking to the nicest docent who explained some of the pioneer history to me. I was pretty ratty then; 21, unshaven, hair down to my ass, probably wearing filthy shorts and sandals. And everyone was polite and genuinely friendly. Hospitality is a real thing in that part of America.
Not to mitigate the hospitality angle (I do think that's a real thing around those parts, even amplified in some ways by the predominate religion), but it is probably worth noting that as much as a contrast you might have felt you presented to cleaner-cut locals, its status as a destination means that travelers and adventurers for whom conventional grooming is not a high priority are frequently part of the landscape too. You probably weren't the first chunk of rough-looking trail mix they'd seen. :)
posted by weston at 11:25 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Not to mitigate the hospitality angle (I do think that's a real thing around those parts, even amplified in some ways by the predominate religion), but it is probably worth noting that as much as a contrast you might have felt you presented to cleaner-cut locals, its status as a destination means that travelers and adventurers for whom conventional grooming is not a high priority are frequently part of the landscape too. You probably weren't the first chunk of rough-looking trail mix they'd seen. :)
posted by weston at 11:25 AM on March 31, 2015 [2 favorites]
Her-kun is just down the road from LaVerkin, and they rhyme. You can bet this business owner gets worked over by the pitchfork and torches crowd. Anytime you make money off of wine and spirits in Utah, you are a problem, except for the tax monies, they are welcome and used to pay preferred businesses taxes by way of corporate relief.
posted by Oyéah at 11:34 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by Oyéah at 11:34 AM on March 31, 2015
Those Yelp reviews are really something else. The guy obviously doesn't get by on repeat business.
posted by ostranenie at 11:51 AM on March 31, 2015
posted by ostranenie at 11:51 AM on March 31, 2015
Yeah after reading the Yelp reviews I imagine one night, the owner is drunk and by himself in the open, empty restaurant and begins to murmur to himself: "What animal has the biggest dick. A fuckin' steer. That's what I would build. Right on top of this place. With the biggest fucking dick these people have ever seen. If I had the money." And then the next day he gets a call that he's inherited 10k and he just laughs and laughs an evil laugh.
posted by angrycat at 12:01 PM on March 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by angrycat at 12:01 PM on March 31, 2015 [5 favorites]
He spells 'minute' wrong. More than once.
"The minuets do not accurately reflect what went on in that meeting."
So now I have bull penises and 17th-Century dancing all muddled together. Best possible outcome.
posted by merelyglib at 4:02 PM on March 31, 2015
"The minuets do not accurately reflect what went on in that meeting."
So now I have bull penises and 17th-Century dancing all muddled together. Best possible outcome.
posted by merelyglib at 4:02 PM on March 31, 2015
Yeah after reading the Yelp reviews I imagine one night, the owner is drunk and by himself in the open, empty restaurant and begins to murmur to himself: "What animal has the biggest dick. A fuckin' steer. That's what I would build. Right on top of this place. With the biggest fucking dick these people have ever seen. If I had the money." And then the next day he gets a call that he's inherited 10k and he just laughs and laughs an evil laugh.
Flagged as fantastic!
posted by winna at 4:27 PM on March 31, 2015
Flagged as fantastic!
posted by winna at 4:27 PM on March 31, 2015
Nelson: "It reminds me of the worst gas station in America."
Wow, I can't believe the hate on for a 25% premium on gas in literally the middle of nowhere.
posted by Mitheral at 5:54 PM on March 31, 2015
Wow, I can't believe the hate on for a 25% premium on gas in literally the middle of nowhere.
posted by Mitheral at 5:54 PM on March 31, 2015
But children might see it and then, er, well...
I think they should take the party hat off and put the right kind of penis on the bull.
When I was a kid, I thought that men's "stuff" looked like a fig leaf.
Adults are idiots.
posted by aryma at 10:15 PM on March 31, 2015
I think they should take the party hat off and put the right kind of penis on the bull.
When I was a kid, I thought that men's "stuff" looked like a fig leaf.
Adults are idiots.
posted by aryma at 10:15 PM on March 31, 2015
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posted by not_on_display at 11:53 PM on March 30, 2015 [1 favorite]