"Even if you count doorways as holes, that would still only make 32."
April 1, 2015 2:55 PM Subscribe
"We won't be saying sorry" - what a boss.
posted by oceanjesse at 3:01 PM on April 1, 2015
posted by oceanjesse at 3:01 PM on April 1, 2015
Milli Vanilli and PJ Harvey? Ha!
posted by Requiax at 3:03 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Requiax at 3:03 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
O'Follipar ?
That seems.... anagramish.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 3:05 PM on April 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
That seems.... anagramish.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 3:05 PM on April 1, 2015 [15 favorites]
"We won't be saying sorry" - what a boss.
John was the master of the non-apology non-apology.
posted by The Tensor at 3:07 PM on April 1, 2015 [13 favorites]
John was the master of the non-apology non-apology.
posted by The Tensor at 3:07 PM on April 1, 2015 [13 favorites]
Tagged: 1 April
O'Follipar = anagram of April Fool
Ugh.
posted by brainmouse at 3:09 PM on April 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
O'Follipar = anagram of April Fool
Ugh.
posted by brainmouse at 3:09 PM on April 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
I thought they were bullet holes or damage from bombs in the war. The previous chunks of the song were about suicide and winning the war.
posted by joelf at 3:11 PM on April 1, 2015
posted by joelf at 3:11 PM on April 1, 2015
*searches for furious letter from hammersmith palais to joe strummer*
posted by pyramid termite at 3:14 PM on April 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by pyramid termite at 3:14 PM on April 1, 2015 [11 favorites]
"Ernest" O'Follipar lol
posted by infinitewindow at 3:14 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by infinitewindow at 3:14 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
oh boy
posted by thelonius at 3:19 PM on April 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 3:19 PM on April 1, 2015 [10 favorites]
*searches for furious letter from hammersmith palais to joe strummer*
I think Joe got a call from London instead.
posted by chavenet at 3:20 PM on April 1, 2015 [17 favorites]
I think Joe got a call from London instead.
posted by chavenet at 3:20 PM on April 1, 2015 [17 favorites]
The clueless snob who can't understand rock lyrics and the John Lennon response are close enough to reality for this one to have legs.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 3:23 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 3:23 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
To me, even before realizing it was a April Fool's thing, the first letter read entirely tongue-in-cheek, so I was confused by the alleged council response and ban of the song. Whoever wrote the first letter put too much work into it, if that makes sense. The suggested lyrics are just perfect. No shocked prude would go through that trouble.
posted by muddgirl at 3:30 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 3:30 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
I was ready to believe until I got to the altered lyrics. They are hilarious and someone should record the song that way.
posted by betweenthebars at 3:35 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 3:35 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yeah the letter gives it away pretty quickly. It seemed possible momentarily that some incredibly stuffy person could think the lyrics cast the Hall in a bad light, but not in the way the letter sets out. Good try though.
posted by Hoopo at 3:37 PM on April 1, 2015
posted by Hoopo at 3:37 PM on April 1, 2015
ogooglebar: “I always assumed the holes were in the seats.”
joelf: “I thought they were bullet holes or damage from bombs in the war. The previous chunks of the song were about suicide and winning the war.”“Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire,” The Guardian
“I believe that this song was composed primarily from Newspaper headlines (I think I read somewhere they were taken from the Daily Mail but I'm not certain). This line refers to a story about the poor condition of roads in Blackburn, the holes being potholes in the road. In the way that newspapers frequently conjure up meaningless statistics, the paper claimed that the volume required to fill all these holes would be equal to the volume of the Albert Hall. Hence; 'Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall'. Why he loves to turn you on is still not clear.”Seth, Edinburgh, Scotlandposted by ob1quixote at 3:42 PM on April 1, 2015 [13 favorites]
Cf. “What were the "four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire", referred to in the Beatles song "A Day in the Life"?”
“A Day In The Life,” About The Beatles
posted by ob1quixote at 3:45 PM on April 1, 2015
“A Day In The Life,” About The Beatles
posted by ob1quixote at 3:45 PM on April 1, 2015
I always assumed the holes were in the seats.
Yes, sitting in the seats.
posted by briank at 3:47 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yes, sitting in the seats.
posted by briank at 3:47 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
The "holes" were "assholes"...
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:15 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:15 PM on April 1, 2015 [3 favorites]
But the guy got a Lennon autograph complete with a Lennon sketch. Who won that round?
posted by Splunge at 5:08 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Splunge at 5:08 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Up next: The letter from the Soho City Council to complain to Warren Zevon. There are absolutely NO werewolves in our fine city!
posted by Splunge at 5:11 PM on April 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 5:11 PM on April 1, 2015 [6 favorites]
The line means: how can a hole fill something? Our culture is empty. I'd love to make you see that.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:21 PM on April 1, 2015
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:21 PM on April 1, 2015
There's a clipping of the original news article that the song lyrics came from in Lewisohn's Complete Beatles Chronicle.
Meanwhile, using a dot-matrix printer to fake letters from the 60s? Do people have no sense of technological history, or am I just old?
posted by enf at 5:41 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
Meanwhile, using a dot-matrix printer to fake letters from the 60s? Do people have no sense of technological history, or am I just old?
posted by enf at 5:41 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
That reminds me to get start on that "Werewolves Of Alabama" mashup......
In Transylvania lives the Governor
Ah-whoooooo
posted by thelonius at 5:45 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
In Transylvania lives the Governor
Ah-whoooooo
posted by thelonius at 5:45 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
kid rock already did a mashup like that
posted by pyramid termite at 5:51 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by pyramid termite at 5:51 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
It is not difficult to procure an actual typewriter upon which one might forge letters for an April Fool's Day gag. Computerin' up some pixel-heavy Courier New, as this joker has done, just won't cut it.
Also, the line is a deliberate absurdity, a goof on those idiotic mass media clichés where they use football fields as units of measurement, or stack things end to end all the way to the moon.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:43 PM on April 1, 2015
Also, the line is a deliberate absurdity, a goof on those idiotic mass media clichés where they use football fields as units of measurement, or stack things end to end all the way to the moon.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:43 PM on April 1, 2015
I always assumed the holes were in the seats... I thought they were bullet holes or damage from bombs in the war.
Back when the song originally came out the word was that the ‘holes’ in the Royal Albert Hall were the ones in the ceiling. They resemble the holes found a year later in the movie Yellow Submarine, one of which Ringo has in his pocket.
posted by LeLiLo at 8:09 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
Back when the song originally came out the word was that the ‘holes’ in the Royal Albert Hall were the ones in the ceiling. They resemble the holes found a year later in the movie Yellow Submarine, one of which Ringo has in his pocket.
posted by LeLiLo at 8:09 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
I read a Lennon interview in which he said he'd read an article about how potholes were going to be refilled.
posted by brujita at 8:19 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by brujita at 8:19 PM on April 1, 2015 [1 favorite]
John wasn't known to type notes. He sent all (or most) of his pissy screeds by hand.
posted by blucevalo at 10:42 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by blucevalo at 10:42 PM on April 1, 2015 [2 favorites]
To further complicate matters, there's the Albert Halls in Bolton, Lancashire, about 15 miles away from Blackburn
posted by Shatner's Bassoon at 4:47 AM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Shatner's Bassoon at 4:47 AM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah, the letter was a little too tongue-in-cheek to work (esp. the note about Ringo singing backup), but Milli Vanilli, PJ Harvey, and Jeff Lynne was the obvious tipoff.
Good work on the images though.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:34 AM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Good work on the images though.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:34 AM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]
Up next: The letter from the Soho City Council to complain to Warren Zevon. There are absolutely NO werewolves in our fine city!
That's a bug, not a feature.
posted by Jahaza at 8:13 AM on April 2, 2015
That's a bug, not a feature.
posted by Jahaza at 8:13 AM on April 2, 2015
Up next: The letter from the Soho City Council to complain to Warren Zevon. There are absolutely NO werewolves in our fine city!
Though, were there, we agree that they would be well-kempt, hirsutely speaking, and would certainly enjoy sating their eldritch hungers in nearby Chinatown's fine dining establishments, rather than on the local citizenry.
posted by aureliobuendia at 9:37 AM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
Though, were there, we agree that they would be well-kempt, hirsutely speaking, and would certainly enjoy sating their eldritch hungers in nearby Chinatown's fine dining establishments, rather than on the local citizenry.
posted by aureliobuendia at 9:37 AM on April 2, 2015 [3 favorites]
This has to be a hoax. The suggested alternatives are too precious by half.
We object in the strongest conceivable terms to the publication of this defamatory and misleading song, and have devised two suitable solutions:posted by Mental Wimp at 9:44 AM on April 2, 2015
1. That the lyrics are amended in a way that keeps the spirit of the song intact whilst preserving the reputation of the Hall. After lengthy discussion, our Council suggests:
// I read the news today oh boy // another fine Proms season just announced // And though the concerts can get full // You must attend them all // Just to go to a concert at the truly magic Albert Hall //
2. That another band member (possibly the drummer, Ringo Starr) adds backing vocals which contradict John Lennon's lies: John: // Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall // Ringo: // (Not that there are any holes in the auditorium, John!) //
We trust that these proposed changes will meet with your approval, and look forward to your assurance in this matter. A sincere apology would also not go amiss.
Sorry. Should have read closer upthread. O'Follipar, indeed.
posted by Mental Wimp at 9:48 AM on April 2, 2015
posted by Mental Wimp at 9:48 AM on April 2, 2015
Up next: The letter from the Soho City Council to complain to Warren Zevon. There are absolutely NO werewolves in our fine city!
That's a bug, not a feature.
It's my understanding that Trader Vic's fell on hard times for a while in part due to rumors about werewolf infestation at some locations. Perhaps they should complain too.
posted by TedW at 10:09 AM on April 2, 2015
That's a bug, not a feature.
It's my understanding that Trader Vic's fell on hard times for a while in part due to rumors about werewolf infestation at some locations. Perhaps they should complain too.
posted by TedW at 10:09 AM on April 2, 2015
« Older "We see the Universe as a machine." | The only winning move... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by ogooglebar at 3:01 PM on April 1, 2015 [11 favorites]