"rituals are there to mark important transitions"
April 2, 2015 2:51 PM   Subscribe

Transgender teen comes out in emotional ceremony at Tehiyah Day School
In the middle of the school day on March 13, the community at Tehiyah Day School in El Cerrito gathered to give a boy his name. The boy in question was a bit older than is typical in a naming ceremony. Wearing a white button-down shirt, gray slacks and red sneakers — with red and blue patches dyed into the sides of his buzzed hair — teenager Tom Sosnik stood at the front of the room and explained to his 26 eighth-grade classmates why he was receiving a new name. "I am no longer Mia. I never really was. And now I finally stand before you in my true and authentic gender identity as Tom," he said. "I stand before you as a 13-year-old boy."

Can Jewish Transgender Teen's Successful Coming Out Provide Model for Others?
Tom and his parents told the interim head of school at Tehiyah, Elise Prowse, that Tom was transgender and that he wanted to make it public. Within days of their meeting, Prowse created a gender-neutral bathroom at Tehiyah and got in contact with Gender Spectrum, a not-for-profit organization that provides gender-related education, to figure out the best way forward.

Together they created a gender transition plan for Tom, with the goal of having him come out before his class trip to Israel at the end of March — so that he could comfortably use the male restrooms while traveling with his classmates.
California Jewish school marks 8th grader’s gender transition
While several Jewish day schools in the United States have taken steps to accommodate transgender students, such as creating gender-neutral bathroom facilities, none have matched Tehiyah’s inclusivity. "We’ve noticed more gender-expansive students in our school, and in Jewish and independent schools in general," said Tehiyah interim head of school Elise Prowse. In response, the school’s community embarked this year upon a process of learning more about gender diversity through a partnership with Gender Spectrum, a local organization that provides education, training and support to help create a gender-sensitive and inclusive environment for all children and teens.
posted by Lexica (16 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite
 
What an amazing community and family. This should stand as a lesson for a lot of people.

Tom, when he's talking about questions people might have: "I know the most about my transition."

Damn right.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:39 PM on April 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Tehiyah means renewal. So fitting. I am so very proud of this community. And go Tom!
posted by Sophie1 at 3:40 PM on April 2, 2015


Well. I was just fine until the point in the first link when, as part of the celebration, Tom's classmates danced around him. And just when I read this, the onion-chopping competition commenced with fervor.

What a good thing to be celebrated instead of excoriated or tolerated.
posted by datawrangler at 3:51 PM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wow, reading about someone receiving that much love and support could make one unexpectedly emotional.
posted by MoxieProxy at 4:26 PM on April 2, 2015


I don't want to rain on the parade, but often the "creation" of a gender neutral bathroom is actually telling the student to use the bathroom in the nurse's office.
posted by Brocktoon at 5:37 PM on April 2, 2015


FUCK YEAH! Okay, I'm gonna go and cry a little more now.
posted by TheCoug at 5:56 PM on April 2, 2015


I don't want to rain on the parade, but often the "creation" of a gender neutral bathroom is actually telling the student to use the bathroom in the nurse's office.

Or, it could be, depending on the child/adult, a place that they have asked to have privacy and space.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:19 PM on April 2, 2015


Proud day to have been raised an East Bay Jew. Yasher Koach, Tom!
posted by The Gooch at 6:31 PM on April 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Brocktoon: I don't want to rain on the parade, but often the "creation" of a gender neutral bathroom is actually telling the student to use the bathroom in the nurse's office.

Absolutely - in cases where it exists as a token compliance measure. This seems like an all-out "Welcome! We accept you!"

In a just world, everyone could have that.

This is just a good example of what happens when people just drop personal bigotries and think through what it would feel like to be in another person's shoes.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:32 PM on April 2, 2015


Oh, what a sweet young man he is! I would be proud to have him as my son.
posted by Biblio at 6:33 PM on April 2, 2015


That's wonderful.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:35 PM on April 2, 2015


This is the best thing I ever seen. The applause at the end did it for me.

I'm not crying, I'm just grinning, smiling and feeling terrific. Because somewhere in the past my 12-year old self just witnessed the future today AND SHE LOVES IT.
posted by Mike Mongo at 8:41 PM on April 2, 2015


The photos I've seen in posts about it on facebook show a bathroom with combined man/woman signs (the circles/cross/arrow ones) and a watercolor painting of a rainbow. It's not a bathroom in a nurse's office. It's a regular bathroom they changed signage on, I think.
posted by atomicstone at 10:49 PM on April 2, 2015


Maybe a day will come when MetaFilter finds it acceptable to speak the truth instead of talking around it. Users will be able to simply say that they were brought to tears instead of having to clumsily hide their emotions behind excuses of onions, allergies, and toe-stubbing.

Edit: LOL at the coincidence that two FPPs down the page is an article about crying.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:50 PM on April 3, 2015 [1 favorite]




It works if you're white, I guess. I live around the corner from Tehiyah, and several mixed-race kids in the neighborhood attended and then had to leave because of teasing and bullying. Oy, my people....
posted by ergomatic at 7:06 AM on April 6, 2015


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