Wile E. Coyote vs. ACME Company
April 3, 2015 10:26 AM   Subscribe

Paragraph One of the Report of Attending Physician (Exhibit B), prepared by Dr. Ernest Grosscup, M.D., D.O., details the multiple fractures, contusions, and tissue damage suffered by Mr. Coyote as a result of this collision. Repair of the injuries required a full bandage around the head (excluding the ears), a neck brace, and full or partial casts on all four legs.
Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff -v.- Acme Company, Defendant: Opening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote:
posted by Room 641-A (12 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
Nathan Thurm, attorney for the defendants, cannot wait to get Mr. Coyote on the stand.

"Mr. Coyote, before using these various Acme products, did you familiarize yourself with the operating instructions provided for each of said products -- specifically, did you read the section titled 'Indications for Use'?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:34 AM on April 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


From Ian Frazier's 1990 book, Coyote V. Acme
posted by briank at 10:39 AM on April 3, 2015 [7 favorites]


Pretty sure Tiny Toon Adventures covered this at some point
posted by inthe80s at 10:54 AM on April 3, 2015


Oh wow! I haven't seen this since usenet was a thing! I'd forgotten all about it and how funny it was. This is better read using a lynx web browser for full nostalgia's sake.
posted by Nanukthedog at 10:54 AM on April 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is a blatant money grab from the Coyote. Why else would he suddenly be coming forward now, so many years after the fact?

It's like all those cats coming out of the woodwork with their sick allegations about Pepe LePew.
posted by PlusDistance at 11:16 AM on April 3, 2015 [11 favorites]


For once I can't blame the MeFi poster for omitting the author's name, since there's no mention of it at the linked site. I hope whatever jerk stole Ian Frazier's words without attribution has his own hard work stolen someday. Or has a serious accident with an Acme Rocket Sled.
posted by languagehat at 11:53 AM on April 3, 2015 [5 favorites]


Wiccuhpeedia dryly observes, "While their products leave much to be desired, Acme delivery service is second to none . . . "

As to liabillity, I should say that there exists ample documentary evidence of Mr. Coyote's employing any number of ACME products in "other than [their] intended use".

= = = = =

From Ian Frazier's 1990 book, Coyote V. Acme

LIke Ali, National Lampoon beat Frazier to the punch -- by eight years:
[L]ast month. . . the Acme Company was served with a summons from the United States District Court in New Mexico to answer the charges brought against the company by Wile E. Coyote.

The Acme Company manufactured designed, assembled, equipped, tested, serviced, inspected, advertised, sold, and delivered the described devices knowing that these devices were to be used and operated, and knowing that unless these devices were properly designed, manufactured, serviced and inspected, Ihc Acme Company would be creating an unreasonable risk and hazard to any future user of the devices or persons exposed to any of the devices, including the plaintiff, and that the devices would constitute articles of extreme danger to users and occupants and to members of the public. . . . the Acme Company impliedly warranted to Wile E. Coyote . . .that the devices and all of the component parts, equipment, and accessories were of merchantable quality and fit for the purposes for which intended . . . . [Mr. Coyote] sustained serious, severe, permanent, and painful injuries as a result . . .
Coyote seeks, in his complaint, a quarter of a million dollars in damages.

[Acme's attorneys] claim that Coyote never communicated his intention to use the company's products to capture a roadrunner. . . . point to Coyote's failure to press a timely legal claim — citing the statute of limitations — and argue that negligent acts on the part of Coyote contributed to the accidents.
posted by Herodios at 12:04 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]


Why don't people believe cats?
posted by Naberius at 1:06 PM on April 3, 2015 [1 favorite]


The ACME corporation revealed in one of the later cartoons to be "A Wholly-Owned Subsidiary of Roadrunner Corporation".

Nothing that happened to Wile E. was an accident.
posted by mhoye at 1:08 PM on April 3, 2015 [5 favorites]


I want Mr. Coyote to be one of my test engineers! He has an uncanny ability to uncover weaknesses in designs.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:42 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]


Dethpicable.
posted by jonmc at 3:19 PM on April 3, 2015 [2 favorites]


I am slightly reminded of Quincy: Cartoon Coroner.
posted by juiceCake at 12:02 AM on April 4, 2015


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