Vote #1 Red-Tailed Hawk
April 3, 2015 10:33 PM   Subscribe

A group of 4th graders in New Hampshire, learning about how Government works and following a long-held tradition of schools across the US, drafted and presented a bill proposing that the red-tailed hawk be named the official state raptor of New Hampshire. Their bill was solidly defeated by the Legislature, drawing ire for its mean-spirited mocking as well as a highly dubious abortion metaphor. While some have defended the Legislature's decision, others have come to the aid of the 4th graders, mostly thanks to John Oliver's declaration of the red-tailed hawk as the official mascot of Last Week Tonight. There are plans to potentially resurrect the bill.
posted by divabat (86 comments total) 29 users marked this as a favorite
 
It's funny that we still pretend that state legislatures aren't just classic sanitariums full of criminally insane people.
posted by Abon Sapi at 10:46 PM on April 3, 2015 [45 favorites]


I stand with my brother, Rep. Warren Groen

the craziest part is at the very end:

Fenton Groen

Former State Senator


just

why
posted by kagredon at 10:49 PM on April 3, 2015


Rep. Groen talked about the vicious nature of the red-tailed hawk in dealing with its prey, noting that it basically “tears it apart limb by limb.”

“It would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood,” he said.


holy shitfuck
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:50 PM on April 3, 2015 [61 favorites]


It's funny that we still pretend that state legislatures aren't just classic sanitariums full of criminally insane people.

I pretty much came to that conclusion a while ago. It's the most depressing thing about politics. You want to roll your eyes and turn the page whenever you see a, "Idiot state legislature (or legislator) in some random state did this stupid or offensive thing today," story but if you ignore it altogether you end up with, well, things like recent events in Indiana.

The answer is to get more involved in local politics, but even that can feel fruitless when outside money is starting to have so much impact in smaller and smaller political arenas. It takes a nearly infinite amount of energy to be vigilant against the bad actors all the time and even when you are there are times when you just can't stop them.
posted by Drinky Die at 10:54 PM on April 3, 2015 [4 favorites]


and don't get me started about the state flower that little whore spreading its pollen indiscriminately and through the intermediary of bees which is clearly bestiality and god will punish you all of you for your filth filth your filth oh god yes filth yes I'm nearly there
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:59 PM on April 3, 2015 [133 favorites]


mostly thanks to John Oliver's declaration of the red-tailed hawk as the official mascot of Last Week Tonight.

#wow
#awesome
posted by isthmus at 11:10 PM on April 3, 2015 [5 favorites]


anyway, the red-tailed hawk has shown remarkable resilience to human activity and are widespread and abundant throughout America, so if adopting it as a mascot will somehow pass those qualities to Planned Parenthood, I'm all for it
posted by kagredon at 11:11 PM on April 3, 2015 [64 favorites]


“It would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood,” he said.

What a moron! The official raptor of Planned Parenthood is the OBGYRFALCON!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:12 PM on April 3, 2015 [74 favorites]


You know, I would have had no problem if they told the 4th graders "Nice work, but we don't spend time debating 4th-grade assignments. We have a state to run."

Instead they spend at least an hour debating it and tearing it down IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.

They should all be fired on the spot for wasting time bullying 10-year-olds when they could be doing something good for the state.

I assume those poor kids' next field trip is to a local meat packing plant to find out how sausages are made.
posted by mmoncur at 11:27 PM on April 3, 2015 [93 favorites]


Our friend rtha deserves better.
posted by idiopath at 11:36 PM on April 3, 2015 [29 favorites]


The official raptor of Planned Parenthood is the OBGYRFALCON!

now i want utahraptors as clinic escorts
posted by poffin boffin at 11:42 PM on April 3, 2015 [16 favorites]


I assume those poor kids' next field trip is to a local meat packing plant to find out how sausages are made.

Made out of politicians, right?
posted by littlesq at 11:42 PM on April 3, 2015 [3 favorites]


Christy Dolat Bartlett's view (from the 6th link) seems to boil down to "We have more important things to worry about, and yeah, we tore this bill down in front of some well-meaning kids who spent a lot of time putting it together, but y'know, we've already done a few of these over the past 35 years or so, and it's a budget year", which is just, I don't even
posted by KGMoney at 11:43 PM on April 3, 2015 [11 favorites]


I assume they will not be voting on renaming any post offices, libraries or state highways this session, because you know...... Sooooooo busy omergawd.
posted by edgeways at 11:48 PM on April 3, 2015 [6 favorites]


I'm happy to see that one of those real-baby-hating fetus-huggers has finally come out and admitted that abortion is as natural an act as the actions a predator needs to do to survive. Because there are thousands of real women AND CHILDREN who need access to this natural medical procedure also to survive and the hate-based efforts to prevent it are... well, simply UNnatural.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:51 PM on April 3, 2015 [12 favorites]


Plus, pretty much every bird would eat your fetus if it could. Even cute little songbirds would.
posted by Abon Sapi at 12:15 AM on April 4, 2015 [13 favorites]


I'm jealous that Idaho has the Perigrine Falcon as its state raptor--the fastest bird in the world that catches its prey by literally knocking it out with a high speed punch with its fists.

I would have been jealous of New Hampshire, too. The kids are right--the Red Tailed Hawk is a wonderful, beautiful bird. When you hear a bald eagle in a movie, it is usually a dub of the Red Tailed Hawk's magnificent cry. Clearly New Hampshire doesn't deserve to have this bird as its state raptor.

A couple have once again nested on a building near me. Eggs should hatch in a month. (There's a cam, but it isn't working for me).
posted by eye of newt at 12:30 AM on April 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


I saw a Red Tail Hawk dealing with a squirrel in my front yard once. Yeah, they do tear things apart. Was incredible to watch. Poor squirrel. Maybe it was karma for all the stolen bird food though.
posted by Drinky Die at 12:44 AM on April 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


They're not obligated to pass the bill, but they're obligated to not be a roomful of adults bullying a few fourth graders. Criminy.
posted by ardgedee at 12:48 AM on April 4, 2015 [42 favorites]


From the Seacoastonline article in the "solidly defeated" link:
“In our opinion, we think that the strongest reason is that both the female and male work together to raise their young," the students wrote in a letter to state representatives. "This includes, nest building, incubation, and feeding. This united approach to parenting is a great example for New Hampshire families."
I love it--what a great rationale for those kids to have chosen! I have more faith in them than those dimwits who felt it was a good idea to make fun of them. The video of the legislative session in the This Week Tonight link is just cringe inducing. Like, THE KIDS ARE RIGHT THERE listening to all of you be assholes! WTF!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:14 AM on April 4, 2015 [24 favorites]


Wow, Warren Groen is a garbage person.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:49 AM on April 4, 2015 [7 favorites]


While the students were also disappointed, Cutting said, he mentioned how disappointment is a part of politics,

This is an excellent way to help kids look forward to being voting citizens! Mockery, abuse, non-sequiturs, and mean spirits! The "how bills get made" module is the best.

The next project will be redubbing I'm Just a Bill from Schoolhouse Rock.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:50 AM on April 4, 2015 [9 favorites]


This is a budget year, and many on both sides of the aisle feel that our attention and energy needs to be invested in how the people of New Hampshire will be affected by our decisions.

How much does it cost to name a state raptor? If you're worried about labor costs, well-

The pay for a New Hampshire legislator is $200 per 2 year term. An hour of a legislator's time therefore costs the state about 1¢. With 400 representatives and 24 senators (the biggest statehouse in the country, btw) an hour of bill wranglin' costs at most four bucks and a quarter, plus overhead.

I'll send you guys a twenty. Stay late and pass the fucking bill.
posted by Iridic at 3:22 AM on April 4, 2015 [25 favorites]


It's funny that we still pretend that state legislatures aren't just classic sanitariums full of criminally insane people.


Hey now, that's a pretty broad generalization. Some of them are just really, really, really corrupt.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:50 AM on April 4, 2015 [45 favorites]


This is an excellent way to help kids look forward to being voting citizens!

Obviously these kids are intent on becoming educated, and we all know educated voters are an evil that must be stamped-out at every turn. Best to crush them as early as possible. Praise, Koch!
posted by Thorzdad at 4:04 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]


Calling rtha!

Yay John Oliver.
posted by spitbull at 4:31 AM on April 4, 2015


Also +2 for "fetus huggers."

It would blow their minds if that caught on.
posted by spitbull at 4:33 AM on April 4, 2015


Man, as a former NHite, watching the legislature get more and more out of control is really depressing. I used to relish being part of one of the most representative democracies in the world (400 state representatives plus 24 senators for 1.3 million people, or roughly one legislator per 3,066 people). But watching the blistering hatred and defunding and bile coming out of our legislature has been incredibly depressing. It was kind of goofy when the Free State Project tried to take over New Hampshire, because - you know - live free or die. It was kind of goofy in a horrible way when representatives proposed that new piece of legislation had to originate in the Magna Carta. But it gets less and less goofy every time they do shit like try to defund Planned Parenthood, threaten to pull public funding for addiction counseling in light of a heroin epidemic which has seen (at my last count) 15 deaths in my hometown of 100,000 since January, and so on and so forth. Maybe this 4th grade mockery will have brought enough shame upon them to rethink their approach to legislating? I doubt it, though, and I miss the crusty New Hampshire socially liberal fiscally conservative Republicans of our past.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:00 AM on April 4, 2015 [17 favorites]


... learning about how Government works ...

I'd say mission accomplished, then ...
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:00 AM on April 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


What, does he think the bald eagle is a vegetarian that eats with a fork and knife?
posted by drlith at 5:24 AM on April 4, 2015 [20 favorites]


What, does he think the bald eagle is a vegetarian that eats with a fork and knife?

Given how silly presidential election politics are, I would totally vote for any candidate that proposed changing the official US bird from the eagle to the turkey or some other bird less evocative of the power of the roman legion.

There's a serious point that symbols do matter and what does it say if your national symbol is a predatory bird (that loves tearing apart rotten fish.)
posted by ennui.bz at 5:34 AM on April 4, 2015


My Montessori teacher quit to take a seat in the Minnesota state legislature. I want to think she would have stepped in to a situation like this and shamed all of those people.

New Hampshirites, take a long look in the mirror, and call your reps who were involved in this to tell then what you think. You are better people than this!
posted by wenestvedt at 5:45 AM on April 4, 2015


I assume those poor kids' next field trip is to a local meat packing plant to find out how sausages are made.

Still better than a box factory.
posted by kersplunk at 5:54 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]


It's almost like if you take serving in the state legislature, which is a shitty enough job in all but maybe five or so states, and decide to make it a solid competitor for Shittiest Job in America* then [gomer] SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE [/gomer] it ends up filled with jackasses and weirdos.

*Ex: you would have to increase their pay about two thousand percent to bring it up to minimum wage.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:56 AM on April 4, 2015


well, we should all know by now that highschoolers love bullying gradeschool kids
posted by pyramid termite at 6:11 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


A friend of a friend attempted to engage with Groen about this. This is the exchange:

Friend of friend: Dear Mr. Groen,
I was very sorry to see reports of your recent behavior in front of a group of 4th graders who were learning about the legislative process. Your lack of civility towards these youngsters is a lesson they will remember for the rest of their lives. I hope that when they grow up, they will aspire to a higher standard than the one you have shown them.
Sincerely yours,


Groen: Hi FirstName of Friend of Friend, I hope you are equally concerned about the fourth grade class ( 20 or so ) of 2025 that are killed every week in Manchester.

Friend of friend: Thank you for your reply. It was not my intent to challenge your abortion views. What I'd hoped to convey to you was that it was highly inappropriate and disrespectful for you to make abortion jokes to elementary schoolchildren.
Yours sincerely,
Friend of Friend

posted by bardophile at 6:23 AM on April 4, 2015 [44 favorites]


It's almost like if you take serving in the state legislature, which is a shitty enough job in all but maybe five or so states, and decide to make it a solid competitor for Shittiest Job in America* then [gomer] SURPRISE SURPRISE SURPRISE [/gomer] it ends up filled with jackasses and weirdos.

Then add in the fact that people who want power over other people are the ones who run and get elected, and you can see why the psychology of legislative bodies can get pretty warped.

I've long said we should have a randomized, jury-style system for creating legislative bodies. You'd still get some crazies, but presumably they'd be in the minority.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 6:26 AM on April 4, 2015 [6 favorites]


Just to spite this guy, I'd lobby to make a coat hanger the new state bird.
posted by dr_dank at 6:28 AM on April 4, 2015 [32 favorites]


"Well it's a long long way to the capitol city, it's a long long way when you're sitting in committee, but I hope I'll be a law some-..."

[music stops, bill staggers down the steps wide-eyed, sits down and frantically fishes for a cigarette and lighter in pocket, takes long draw and exhales]

"Dude. Fuck this."
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:37 AM on April 4, 2015 [6 favorites]


This might be a good time to remember what happened when Bob Altemeyer, author of The Authoritarians, sent the Right Wing Authoritarianism scale questionnaire to most of the legislators in the US and Canada. It's on page 199. The scale itself, if you want to test yourself, starts on page 11.
posted by localroger at 6:39 AM on April 4, 2015 [9 favorites]


What kind of constipated shitlord do you have to be to bully a bunch of eight year olds?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:55 AM on April 4, 2015 [6 favorites]


Holy fuck, that email exchange.
posted by odinsdream at 6:58 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]


[One comment deleted. Just a reminder: in expressing how gross these guys are, it's probably not great to get superduper gross and violent in your joke commentary. Thanks.]
posted by taz (staff) at 6:59 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


No bald eagles just have a system which just gets food down when they are hungry. Not like those communist hawks... Better dead than red.
posted by Nanukthedog at 7:10 AM on April 4, 2015


Never trust an adult that is cruel to children. Never.
posted by stoneweaver at 7:16 AM on April 4, 2015 [26 favorites]


For anyone too busy to click through, this gem is on page 205 of Altemeyer's PDF:
One last thing: an item on the RWA scale that I used in these legislator studies goes, “Once our government leaders and the authorities condemn the dangerous elements in our society, it will be the duty of every patriotic citizen to help stomp out the rot that is poisoning our country from within.” It’s a ridiculous statement, isn’t it? People usually laugh when I read it out loud to an audience. It sounds like it came out of some Nazi Cheer Book. And a solid majority of the legislators who wrote the laws in American states when I did these studies rejected it. But 26 percent of the 1,233 lawmakers in my samples agreed with this.
And Altemeyer sent out those surveys in the early 1990's. I have a pretty good idea how Mr. Groen would have responded.
posted by localroger at 7:19 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]


You know when you see one of those hyper-patriotic images of a bald eagle in the sky, and you hear its plaintive, distinctive cry? That cry is from a red-tailed hawk. Bald eagles don't make a noise that is sufficiently dramatic, apparently. Hollywood has used red-tail hawks for the voices of all kinds of raptors for decades.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:22 AM on April 4, 2015 [6 favorites]


Are we allowed to say assholes on Mefi? Because if we aren't, we should.


ASSHOLES!
posted by harrietthespy at 7:25 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


As a Democrat, I approve of Republican legislators mocking and ridiculing future voters.

(I have a feeling that Groen guy brings up abortion in literally every conversation with everyone)
posted by dirigibleman at 7:26 AM on April 4, 2015


Groen: Hi FirstName of Friend of Friend, I hope you are equally concerned about the fourth grade class ( 20 or so ) of 2025 that are killed every week in Manchester.

Another good example of an anti-choice asshole showing more care and consideration for the unborn than for actual living, breathing children!
posted by triggerfinger at 7:28 AM on April 4, 2015 [26 favorites]


Meanwhile, at the Legislative Assembly of Ontario, Canada, we have a family of red-tailed hawks nesting on the windowsill. A former Premier held a poll, and the voting public decided to name them Her Majesty and His Majesty.
posted by Schlimmbesserung at 7:34 AM on April 4, 2015 [5 favorites]


You know what a good word is? Feckless. I'm going to start using it more.
posted by nubs at 7:38 AM on April 4, 2015


Well, it probably did get the kids interested in politics, to the extent that they probably can't wait to vote these fuckers out in eight or nine years.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:46 AM on April 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


Her Majesty and His Majesty.

No! There can only be one Majesty! The other one is just a Royal Highness! This error could have grave consequences!

Something something Game of Nests!
posted by Sys Rq at 7:50 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


er point of order not true. Philip is a prince because men don't derive titles from wives. When Liz goes and Charles sets his stupid fundament upon the throne, Camilla will be HM.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:53 AM on April 4, 2015


quiet, you
posted by Sys Rq at 8:02 AM on April 4, 2015


NO U
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:05 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


It’s a ridiculous statement, isn’t it? People usually laugh when I read it out loud to an audience. It sounds like it came out of some Nazi Cheer Book. And a solid majority of the legislators who wrote the laws in American states when I did these studies rejected it. But 26 percent of the 1,233 lawmakers in my samples agreed with this.

That's one of those things that seems shocking until you become familiar with mass political attitudes in the US. Back as far as the 70s, you'd find that 70-80% of Americans agreed that whatever group they disliked the most -- from a menu of communists and homosexuals and John Birchers and so on -- should be outlawed, and banned from teaching, and legally banned from serving as President. And I can't pull up the cite easily, but substantial minorities agreeing that whoever they liked the least should be exiled.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:07 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Bald eagles don't make a noise that is sufficiently dramatic, apparently.

They really, really, hilariously don't. They sound like something between an especially wussy seagull and a sick starling.

But also they just aren't on every stock sound effects CD.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:18 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


> It's funny that we still pretend that state legislatures aren't just classic sanitariums full of criminally insane people.

And yet compared to a lot of city councils and school boards they're Socratic Salons.
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:22 AM on April 4, 2015


When I was young I always thought student council was silly because real government wasn't so frivolous. I have come to realize that I was mistaken.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 8:26 AM on April 4, 2015 [12 favorites]


No bald eagles just have a system which just gets food down when they are hungry. Not like those communist hawks... Better dead than red.

Balds will eat carrion and mug other raptors for their prey: our national symbol!

When I first heard about this story, I looked up this guy's address (it's on the state leg site) and it's a lovely bit of property with lots of trees ... Which I hope host lots of nesting rthas who will shit on his cars and leave bones and fur on his porch.
posted by rtha at 8:27 AM on April 4, 2015 [24 favorites]


So is this where we launch a kickstarter to fund your trip to his house?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 8:32 AM on April 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


The same House voted that week to name the bobcat New Hampshire's state wildcat.

Uh-HUH.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:53 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


Oliver seems to have stumbled upon the modern equivalent of taking it to the streets. (Look back on Jeff the Diseased Lung to see a working template for modern civil response to gubment silliness.) Why carry a sign in front of a building when you can mobilize citizens in a half-dozen countries in one fell swoop without going to jail?

New Hampshire reps: Really? Really?

Up the Revolution!
posted by mule98J at 8:53 AM on April 4, 2015


> "Which I hope host lots of nesting rthas ..."

Oh. So you're not the ghost of Eartha Kitt, then?
posted by kyrademon at 8:59 AM on April 4, 2015


> It's funny that we still pretend that state legislatures aren't just classic sanitariums full of criminally insane people.

And yet compared to a lot of city councils and school boards they're Socratic Salons.


In general it seems to be that anyone who is interested in being elected to these positions are always the very last people on earth who should hold these positions, and the less power the position actually wields, the more likely it is to be filled by a stridently unhinged douchefountain.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:14 AM on April 4, 2015 [9 favorites]


I don't know. I made a brief, stupid attempt to get involved in local politics, and it was deeply, deeply disheartening. I am not at all starry-eyed about local or state-level politics. But I really disagree that those people don't have power or that they don't matter. In most states, the state legislature determines Congressional districts, and the fact that many state legislatures are Republican-dominated means that Congressional districts have been gerrymandered in a way that ensures a perpetual Republican majority in the House. State legislatures pass the state budget, which means they determine whether schools are funded and whether there are adequate mental health facilities. State legislatures decide whether to accept the Medicaid expansion portion of the Affordable Care Act, which is a life or death issue for a fair number of people. There are a lot of reasons to be cynical, but there are also a lot of reasons to try to elect people who aren't assholes, because they make decisions that affect all of our lives.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:33 AM on April 4, 2015 [8 favorites]


I can't remember the source but someone once told me "a state legislature is the highest post anyone can be elected to without any level of scrutiny". That explains a lot.
posted by Ber at 9:37 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


But I really disagree that those people don't have power or that they don't matter.

I was talking about school boards et al. I didn't even realize I copy-quoted the line about state legislatures.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:48 AM on April 4, 2015


Can we replace every state legislature with 4th graders?

RAPTOR SCREECH!

(Red-tailed hawks are awesome.)
posted by NorthernLite at 10:13 AM on April 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


As a Democrat, I approve of Republican legislators mocking and ridiculing future voters.

As a reader, I must point out that the Rep who wrote the column defending Groen is a Democrat. She may not have participated in the stupidity during the debate (I don't know if she did), but she is complicit after the fact. It's also ironic that her main point is "we shouldn't be wasting time on stuff like this" in a column it must have taken her a couple of hours to write, all about an event that did not need her analysis.

Democrats may mostly be better than most Republicans, but you don't have to look very hard to find some who are awful.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:15 AM on April 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


Yeah, they all sound like winners.

Rep. Renny Cushing, who sponsored the students' bill, addressed the chamber Wednesday and apologized to all the students in the state for his colleagues' actions. ...

...Cushing said he's talked to the kids.

"In the aftermath, there's been a fair amount of attention to what we did that day," Cushing said. "I told them it's not always like this here. That we're really not as mean and cranky as we were that day."

When Cushing finished speaking, the lawmakers rose to their feet and applauded for several seconds, but when a motion was made to enter his comments into the permanent record, a minority of legislators shouted, "No!"

posted by nubs at 10:23 AM on April 4, 2015 [9 favorites]


Localroger, that Altemeyer paper you linked to is excellent.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:51 AM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


As several other people have noted, the NH legislature, especially the lower house, is huge and essentially a volunteer position ($100/year + per diem). I think that having such small constituencies ultimately lends itself to seeing the state legislature as not really important. This is one of the reasons that it tends to attract an even more... odd membership than other state legislatures; most voters don't care, so it's easier for the crazies to make their way in.

Can any New Hampshirites confirm or deny?
posted by dhens at 11:55 AM on April 4, 2015


Bullying comes in all forms.

Today, it came in the form of 4th graders who were determined to prove that they are smarter than their legislature.

Bad form, 4th graders. Its like pointing out that pirates have no depth perception because of their one eye. Everyone knows it. Its just mean to make fun of it with the rest of the world. Everyone is smarter than your legislature. You don't need to point that out.

Also, notice the way this legislature is handling these kids. They also make decisions within the criminal justice system. Yikes.
posted by hal_c_on at 12:36 PM on April 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


Can any New Hampshirites confirm or deny?

Oh yes, confirm to the max. My mom, who has faithfully carried water for various NH Democrats for decades, and who served on our local school board for a few years, was approached about running for state legislature. She refused, and when I asked her why, she said "I'm not crazy." The NH state legislature is made up of all the cuckoo-birds who write incoherent letters to the editor of their local newspapers.
posted by Daily Alice at 1:52 PM on April 4, 2015


"a state legislature is the highest post anyone can be elected to without any level of scrutiny".

Ah yes, I call that Akins' Law.

Luckily nature has a way of putting a stop to that though.
posted by spitbull at 2:12 PM on April 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


On the squirrel- and pigeon-rich campus of Columbia University in the Republic of New York City, there is a red tail known to a few generations of students by the nom de plumage Hawkmadinejad, in reference to the one-time Iranian president.

Here is his (or perhaps her) tail tale.
posted by spitbull at 2:23 PM on April 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


Groen's brother attempts to defend the indefensible.

HERE
posted by notreally at 5:30 PM on April 4, 2015


Well first, someone needs to go back to grade 4 and learn how to fucking spell.

Second... excuse me a moment I need to go vomit.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:42 PM on April 4, 2015


So who were the adults who wasted the time of these august gentlemen by proposing a state wild cat? Certainly the hawk mockers didn't waste their vote on that frivolous issue, eh? Is Groen on record with one of his abortion rants pertaining to the murderous nature of the bobcat?

Why can we never hear the details.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:46 PM on April 4, 2015


Actually, it seems like the bobcat proposal also came from schoolchildren.
posted by bardophile at 6:40 PM on April 4, 2015


To be fair, getting screamed at by a human hot pocket is a very realistic NH political experience.
posted by The Whelk at 10:16 PM on April 5, 2015


Plus, pretty much every bird would eat your fetus if it could.

In fairness to birds, what's that on your McMuffin? We call it breakfast. They call it a fucking massacre.
posted by The Bellman at 7:32 AM on April 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


what's that on your McMuffin?

My favorite Jeopardy category, Trebek. I'll take What's that on your McMuffin? for a thousand.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:32 PM on April 6, 2015


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