Many will enter. Few will win.
April 6, 2015 8:16 AM   Subscribe

Remember the '80s and '90s commercials for the Nickelodeon Super Toy Run? The A.V. Club talks to two past winners.
posted by Metroid Baby (39 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite
 
I always wanted to win so badly. Toys R Us should bring them back.
posted by drezdn at 8:53 AM on April 6, 2015


I really hope Mike O'Malley reads that. It sounds like he was just awesome to those nervous and exhausted kids.
posted by joan cusack the second at 9:02 AM on April 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


Winning the Nickelodeon Super Toy Run was my biggest fantasy before I discovered sex.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:06 AM on April 6, 2015 [19 favorites]


This would just be so much less fun with Amazon.
posted by resurrexit at 9:08 AM on April 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


I bet it was video games that did the promo in.
posted by drezdn at 9:12 AM on April 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


My strategy as a child: run down the Lego aisle until I'm out of time, or they're out of Lego.
posted by codacorolla at 9:19 AM on April 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


It seems like Nickelodeon was super fantastic about the entire thing. Which is super awesome.
posted by Twain Device at 9:43 AM on April 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I never really thought about what a no-brainer the Super Toy Run was for Nickelodeon. It cost them maybe $50,000 per year in cash and prizes, plus whatever else they spent on marketing it, and in return they were a fixture on every American child’s wish list. It was part of elementary school lore along with the Nintendo World Championships. You’d have to hear from that one liar classmate of yours about how his cousin won the Super Toy Run and gave him a bunch of NES games that he was tired of playing.
posted by savetheclocktower at 9:46 AM on April 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Between this and the "Nick takes over your school", late 80s-early 90s Nickelodeon had pre-pubescent fantasy fulfillment down to a science.
posted by dr_dank at 9:47 AM on April 6, 2015 [12 favorites]


I totally forgot about that and how awesome I thought it would be to get all the video games. I didn't even consider that I'd want board games, Domino Rally, Hot Wheels, LEGO, or anything else. I was all about the video games by the time I was double digit in age.
posted by wierdo at 10:02 AM on April 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Why is it, when I watch old cable television programming, that, even if it's childrens' programming, I can still sit down and watch it compared with today's crap (aside from sports)?

Great post, thank you!
posted by JoeXIII007 at 10:04 AM on April 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wow. They sent some kid's family to Hawaii?! It was better than it sounded on TV, even.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:12 AM on April 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


Man, I clearly remember "Nick takes over your school", yet I have absolutely no memory of an annual Toy Run. I was kind of a cynical, skeptical little kid and I thought these contests were, like, fictional television shows and not real life.

Also, I love how first prize is an amazing adventure, and 3rd prize is a $5 gift certificate and a magazine subscription.
posted by muddgirl at 10:14 AM on April 6, 2015 [6 favorites]


I always liked the array of prizes on the Double Dare obstacle course. If all else failed, you at least walked away with green slime shampoo and a Conair clock radio/phone.
posted by dr_dank at 10:15 AM on April 6, 2015 [4 favorites]


Also, I love how first prize is an amazing adventure, and 3rd prize is a $5 gift certificate and a magazine subscription.

Better than "you're fired".
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 10:16 AM on April 6, 2015 [13 favorites]


I really hope Mike O'Malley reads that.

Apparently so.
posted by zabuni at 10:27 AM on April 6, 2015 [11 favorites]


Three things strike me about the setup of the prize:
  1. If you knock something onto the ground, it's yours. (Doesn't even have to land in the cart)
  2. Items too big for a 9-year-old to physically lift into a cart get replaced by big cardboard signs during the actual run
  3. Both contestants talk about being able to return duplicate items to the Toys-R-Us afterward, either for cash or in-store credit
How did NONE OF THESE KIDS come up with the idea of drinking like 11 cans of Surge (this being the early 90's, after all) and then riding the caffeine high by running around the bike aisle with both arms outstretched, making airplane noises as they knocked dozens of cardboard signs onto the ground? These kids only averaged $10K apiece in prizes. Even not-all-that-diabolically-creative 9-year-old me could have walked out of there with ten times that in bikes and Sega Genesis consoles alone, and then made friends with everyone I know by handing them out as party favors. Whatever was left, return for tens of thousands of dollars worth of store credit.
posted by Mayor West at 10:30 AM on April 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


How did NONE OF THESE KIDS come up with the idea of drinking like 11 cans of Surge (this being the early 90's, after all) and then riding the caffeine high by running around the bike aisle with both arms outstretched, making airplane noises as they knocked dozens of cardboard signs onto the ground?

They mention that.

Something I didn’t realize is that toys are very dense. All the kids were just telling me, “put your arms out and just rake toys off the shelf into your cart.” And I actually tried that during testing. I put my arm out and I tried to test running down. I was 11 and Andrew was 9, but I was small for 11. There was no way that I could move more than three or four boxes with my arm out. It would just pull my arm back. So all that stuff went out the window.

That and the only real prohibition was staying at one part of the store. Which means you couldn't just spend five minutes shoving 50 dollar light weight video game carts off the shelves.

I'd also like to say that beyond those limitations, it's nice that it really was as good as they said. I never entered the contests, because I was cynical about it being just a media show. From the article:

And, to reiterate again, the Nickelodeon staff was just fantastic in terms of facilitating this experience for a very overwhelmed little kid. They really went above and beyond to make sure it was one of the most fun days of my life.

It's a little like learning that Santa Claus does exist.
posted by zabuni at 10:37 AM on April 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


I am really surprised at how flexible Nickelodeon was. If I were to imagine The Rules for something like this I'd have assumed you'd need to have the toys fully in your cart, the cart had to cross the line, you'd only get one cart that you'd have to empty out each time, if you can't carry it you can't have it, etc.

But after reading this, wow. The kids got to scout out the store, place carts ahead of time, even re-arrange the store to their advantage! You could just grab the tags for the big items! This is a dream come true.

I was a little too old for this to be something I would have been into, but I do remember being a kid when a local toy store did something similar and dreaming about grabbing ALL THE LEGO SETS. Oh, how I would have grabbed ALL THE LEGO SETS.

It was nice to hear that the kid's parents were so understanding about it. I suspect my mom would have let me keep one thing and then give all the other toys to charity or something the same way she did with most of my Halloween candy because I already HAVE TOO MUCH*.

*note to parents who think that's a good lesson to teach your kids: I learned nothing, I'm still bitter, and now I buy whatever the fuck I want to buy that I can afford simply because I wasn't allowed to have anything as a kid.
posted by bondcliff at 11:16 AM on April 6, 2015 [15 favorites]


How did NONE OF THESE KIDS come up with the idea of drinking like 11 cans of Surge...

"WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING IN THERE. WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"
"Just [glub glub glub] five more minBRAAAAAAAP minutes mom [glub glub BARF]."
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 11:18 AM on April 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


I would have headed straight for the GI Joe aisle.
posted by drezdn at 11:22 AM on April 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


It was nice to hear that the kid's parents were so understanding about it. I suspect my mom would have let me keep one thing and then give all the other toys to charity or something the same way she did with most of my Halloween candy because I already HAVE TOO MUCH*.

Reading the AMA of Moose, he decided, with encouragement by his parents, to pick out some things for kids in Shriners Children's Hospital.

Second: after talking to my grandparents about the new development, my mom ended up taking me to the Shriners Childrens Hospital (after looking it up now, it looks like it is now the UCSF Benioff Childrens Hospital, but I'm not sure) which was a child hospital for burn victims. She had called ahead to see if we could get a tour, and one of the administrators took us around the building and I met some of the kids. As a kid who could not have asked for more or a better upbringing, and also with my parents help in framing my situation in that way for me (and it was true), the experience made a very strong impression on me. Little kids who through no fault of their own with all of that pain and the difficulties their lives now were filled with...so when my parents suggested that I get some things for them to donate to the hospital, I was all about it. So I got things like board games, action figures, just little stuff that kids could play with in bed, and a bunch of SNES's and Sega's plus games and controllers. There was a picture of me out on my lawn with the whole haul as a van came to pick it up to drive it to San Francisco, but my mom lost a lot of the pics somewhere and as I'm writing this I'm actually getting really bummed out about that. I don't know how much it was, but if I did, I don't think I'd say anyway

Link
posted by zabuni at 11:28 AM on April 6, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's a little like learning that Santa Claus does exist.

I think it's more like learning that Santa Claus did exist, back at a time when you were stubbornly celebrating Hanukkah.
posted by nzero at 11:50 AM on April 6, 2015 [8 favorites]


Also, I love how first prize is an amazing adventure, and 3rd prize is a $5 gift certificate and a magazine subscription.

And Captain Crunch! Don't forget the free box of Captain Crunch. Which I guess was kind of a benefit. If your parents made you buy your own cereal. Otherwise, it was pretty much always free as far as you knew...
posted by Naberius at 11:54 AM on April 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


In my house we'd have gotten off-brand Captain Crunch so that would have been somewhat of a consolation prize.
posted by Green With You at 12:16 PM on April 6, 2015 [2 favorites]




In my mind, I can still hear John Harvey's voice announcing "A FAAAAAAAAAA-BULOUS DISNEY VACATION!"
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:36 PM on April 6, 2015 [1 favorite]


I also won a Nickelodeon contest in the 90s albeit much lesser. I was a 2nd/3rd place runner up (I think 100 people won?) for the Stocking Stuffer Sweepstakes in '93?. I entered a card at a Pizza Hut and got a package in late November containing a safety-orange Nickelodeon Knit Stocking Hat, Nickelodeon Scarf, a GI Joe, Barbie, and a Kush ball.

Edit: Found a newspaper mention of the contest. Guess some kid 20 years ago (1994) won the grand-prize which sounds like it wasn't that crazy:
• Bart Towe was the grand prize win-
ner of the Nickelodeon Stocking Stuffer
Sweepstakes. His prizes included a color
writer; Gak Vac; Gak inflator; power
blimp toy and much more.
posted by wcfields at 1:44 PM on April 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


Looking around for what Mike O'Malley is up to these days, I found this charming video where he comments on allegedly the worst GUTS contestant ever.

I kind of want to see O'Malley and that guy from Legends of the Hidden Temple take on a bunch of classic Nickelodeon challenges. Looking back, that shit looks hard for an adult, much less a kid.
posted by muddgirl at 1:55 PM on April 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


I kind of want to see O'Malley and that guy from Legends of the Hidden Temple take on a bunch of classic Nickelodeon challenges. Looking back, that shit looks hard for an adult, much less a kid.

Hopefully this isn't too much of a derail, but SB Nation had a post documenting just how impossible Legends of the Hidden Temple was, and cites the win rate as 26.7%. There are also many sad gifs and clips of children failing at the Temple Run. And I think I read somewhere that kids in the Temple could not hear host Kirk Fogg's narration at all, which explains some of the seemingly inexplicable behavior on the part of those kids.
posted by joan cusack the second at 2:35 PM on April 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


And....apparently I found that SB Nation piece via Metafilter. And here's a Legends of the Hidden Temple personal horror story also previously on Metafilter.
posted by joan cusack the second at 2:40 PM on April 6, 2015


There are also a bunch of videos of kids doing really, really badly at the bonus round in Nick Arcade. And I know that I would have been one of those kids -- whenever I see myself on a security camera, I'm totally confused by the directions.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:33 PM on April 6, 2015


I won a non-grand prize in a much lesser Nick contest back in maybe 1988 called "Kids Day," where "kids take over the city" with jobs like ice cream scooper, bank teller, BYU football coach and police chief. The two plum non-grand prize winners were for the news anchor gig, where you got to interview Jason and Justine Bateman, and the prize I won, Mayor of Salt Lake City, UT.

Mayor was the good gig due to the TV and newspaper coverage. Front page of both papers the next day and on all three local newscasts. Not too shabby. Plus, I got to say the tag line in the commercial, which was pretty cool (that's me at the very end).

Grand prize was a trip to Toronto to see a filming of YCDTOT and get slimed. So I guess I missed my chance at Moose, but how many people can say they were once, very briefly, mayor of a large American city?
posted by GamblingBlues at 5:13 PM on April 6, 2015 [9 favorites]


Every lottery winner should be assigned a Mike O'Malley and parents like these kids had.
posted by chisel at 5:57 PM on April 6, 2015 [5 favorites]


Maybe that kid was grabbing a Barbie for himself and not his sister? Way to gender police your sweepstakes, Toys-Are-We.
posted by oceanjesse at 6:07 PM on April 6, 2015


GamblingBlues, I hope you put that on your resume.
posted by Faint of Butt at 2:10 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


@Faint of Butt - It comes in handy when playing "Two Truths and a Lie," that's for sure.
posted by GamblingBlues at 3:22 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Winning the Nickelodeon Super Toy Run was my biggest fantasy before I discovered sex.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:06 AM


I started fantasizing again when watching this.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 6:29 AM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


(that's me at the very end)

Wow, you seem very self-possessed for a kid, especially compared to the others in the video.

It comes in handy when playing "Two Truths and a Lie," that's for sure.

1. I am a human being.
2. I was once the mayor of Salt Lake City.
3. My sexual prowess is without peer and I have been with many, many partners.

...
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 9:57 AM on April 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


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