No way is Willy Wonka weirder than Anton Chigurh
April 7, 2015 9:04 AM Subscribe
Alex DeLarge, Anton Chigurh, and The Mystery Man walk into a bar. Get the fuck outta the bar. Movie villains, ranked on the weirdness scale. The Movie Bad Guys Weirdness Index "rates from 1 percent — a little bit weird, like when you pick up your phone to text someone and that person texts you right at that moment — to 100 percent weird. The only real restriction: No bad guys from horror movies were eligible because basically all of them are weird, so this thing would’ve been somewhere near 40,000 words." (SL Grantland)
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory isn't a horror film?
posted by Artw at 9:16 AM on April 7, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by Artw at 9:16 AM on April 7, 2015 [13 favorites]
Did you have to remind me of Human Centipede 1 and 2 and Eraserhead right before lunch? Hmmm?
posted by Splunge at 9:18 AM on April 7, 2015
posted by Splunge at 9:18 AM on April 7, 2015
The Baseball Furies were weird, but only because they were trying to be weird. They were a gang of baseball enthusiasts who wore actual baseball uniforms and painted their faces because who knows and who cares.
Here, I did your research for you:
The Baseball Furies are a reference to Second Base, an uptown gang from the 1970's. Second Base wore Lettermen jackets with "Second Base" across the backs, not the baseball uniforms and painted faces of The Furies. The connection is quite obvious when New York boppers are informed that The Warriors have "made it past Second Base".
I find it useful, whever I say "I don't know," to do some digging and see if someone knows. The Baseball Furies are awesome -- Walter Hill took some elements from a real gang, combined it with KISS makeup to provide an almost kabuki effect, and then shot the scene like a samurai movie.
I'll note that in the warriors video game, there is a way to play the game as the Baseball Furies but no way to play as Luther, as great as David Patrick Kelly is. I mean, maybe Luther may be weirder in a psychotic sort of way, but the Furies are weird in an iconic, epic way.
posted by maxsparber at 9:23 AM on April 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
Here, I did your research for you:
The Baseball Furies are a reference to Second Base, an uptown gang from the 1970's. Second Base wore Lettermen jackets with "Second Base" across the backs, not the baseball uniforms and painted faces of The Furies. The connection is quite obvious when New York boppers are informed that The Warriors have "made it past Second Base".
I find it useful, whever I say "I don't know," to do some digging and see if someone knows. The Baseball Furies are awesome -- Walter Hill took some elements from a real gang, combined it with KISS makeup to provide an almost kabuki effect, and then shot the scene like a samurai movie.
I'll note that in the warriors video game, there is a way to play the game as the Baseball Furies but no way to play as Luther, as great as David Patrick Kelly is. I mean, maybe Luther may be weirder in a psychotic sort of way, but the Furies are weird in an iconic, epic way.
posted by maxsparber at 9:23 AM on April 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
Poor, left-out Gaear Grimsrud.
Also I am delighted at the idea that the author almost blindly stumbled into Eraserhead because literally no synopsis of that movie can remotely convey its weirdness (and also I am glad we live in a world where you can just go out and watch Eraserhead without paying an obscene amount of money for a thirdhand VHS copy from a guy who knows a guy who has a Japanese Laserdisc for some reason.)
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 9:24 AM on April 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
Also I am delighted at the idea that the author almost blindly stumbled into Eraserhead because literally no synopsis of that movie can remotely convey its weirdness (and also I am glad we live in a world where you can just go out and watch Eraserhead without paying an obscene amount of money for a thirdhand VHS copy from a guy who knows a guy who has a Japanese Laserdisc for some reason.)
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 9:24 AM on April 7, 2015 [6 favorites]
Lord Humungus should be on this list. Everything else aside, he still takes time out of eloquently marauding the scoured wastelands to make steady gym gainz.
posted by SharkParty at 9:25 AM on April 7, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by SharkParty at 9:25 AM on April 7, 2015 [11 favorites]
I was on board with the no-horror-film thing, but then why the heck is Silence of the Lambs on there?
posted by likeatoaster at 9:28 AM on April 7, 2015
posted by likeatoaster at 9:28 AM on April 7, 2015
Stumbling into Eraserhead really is the correct way to watch it. I rented it and Event Horizon from a video rental place on a whim -- Eraserhead's cover looked weird. Well, first I watched Event Horizon, and it was a little more disturbing than I anticipated -- a little less the goofy horror film I was hoping for. Home alone, late at night, a tiny bit freaked out, I decided to pop in Eraserhead ...
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:31 AM on April 7, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:31 AM on April 7, 2015 [12 favorites]
I was on board with the no-horror-film thing, but then why the heck is Silence of the Lambs on there?
Maybe Silence of the Lambs doesn't count as horror because er well actually I have no goddamned idea, come to think of it.
posted by holborne at 9:31 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Maybe Silence of the Lambs doesn't count as horror because er well actually I have no goddamned idea, come to think of it.
posted by holborne at 9:31 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
The Baseball Furies are awesome -- Walter Hill took some elements from a real gang, combined it with KISS makeup to provide an almost kabuki effect, and then shot the scene like a samurai movie.
I think the most intriguing thing about the Furies was that they were shown (I think?) hanging around in their baseball gang clubhouse fully decked out. No slippin'. Rustle a Fury out of bed at 3am and that greasepaint eye-spot is on point.
posted by SharkParty at 9:32 AM on April 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
I think the most intriguing thing about the Furies was that they were shown (I think?) hanging around in their baseball gang clubhouse fully decked out. No slippin'. Rustle a Fury out of bed at 3am and that greasepaint eye-spot is on point.
posted by SharkParty at 9:32 AM on April 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
Silence of the Lambs is not a horror movie. It's a police procedural thriller.
Surprised not to see Zodiac from Dirty Harry on the list.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 9:36 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Surprised not to see Zodiac from Dirty Harry on the list.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 9:36 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Jesus Quintana isn't even the weirdest character in TBL. Compare him with Walter. Walter is far more obsessive re bowling. He literally pulls a gun on someone in an argument over the rules. He is also obsessed with his combat experiences and is so incapable of rational thought he nearly gets himself and his friends killed.
Peter Stormare's character threatens to cut off someone's penis, and seems to mean it.
Then there's David Thewlis, Julianne Moore and even Sam Elliott, none are playing with a full deck.
posted by biffa at 9:36 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Peter Stormare's character threatens to cut off someone's penis, and seems to mean it.
Then there's David Thewlis, Julianne Moore and even Sam Elliott, none are playing with a full deck.
posted by biffa at 9:36 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Speaking of SoTL, Buffalo Bill is on the list but Hannibal Lecter isn't?
posted by localroger at 9:37 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by localroger at 9:37 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Where is Scarlett Johannsen in Under the Skin?
posted by Oyéah at 9:38 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 9:38 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
For that matter, why is Alexander DeLarge only relegated to an offhand comment? An untraviolence-loving, nadsat-speaking savage youth who loves Beethoven? He's a natural for the list.
posted by Gelatin at 9:38 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Gelatin at 9:38 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
I was on board with the no-horror-film thing, but then why the heck is Silence of the Lambs on there?
My pet theory on this is that Silence of the Lambs came out at a time that was (for arguably good reason) the nadir of respectability for horror as a genre. So there were cops in it and the cops were chasing a criminal so it gets shuffled into "suspense/thriller" so Grown Ups could say they watched it and liked it and awarded it an Oscar for Best Picture without ever having to admit it technically fell into the same category as Nightmare on Elm Street 12: Literally Just 90 Minutes of Freddy Krueger Standup.
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 9:42 AM on April 7, 2015 [11 favorites]
My pet theory on this is that Silence of the Lambs came out at a time that was (for arguably good reason) the nadir of respectability for horror as a genre. So there were cops in it and the cops were chasing a criminal so it gets shuffled into "suspense/thriller" so Grown Ups could say they watched it and liked it and awarded it an Oscar for Best Picture without ever having to admit it technically fell into the same category as Nightmare on Elm Street 12: Literally Just 90 Minutes of Freddy Krueger Standup.
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 9:42 AM on April 7, 2015 [11 favorites]
I wonder sometimes if an article like this isn't simply like an AskMe where the author's looking for weirdness. I mean, you just KNOW that no matter how long the list is, you're going to leave off someone's personal favorite lunatic, and depending on how strongly the reader identifies with their lunatic, you may get a very colorful recommendation.
posted by Mooski at 9:43 AM on April 7, 2015
posted by Mooski at 9:43 AM on April 7, 2015
Where is Scarlett Johannsen in Under the Skin?
I imagine she'd be around the same level as Predator -- weird to humans, probably not that weird to her own species.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:43 AM on April 7, 2015
I imagine she'd be around the same level as Predator -- weird to humans, probably not that weird to her own species.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 9:43 AM on April 7, 2015
What if Predator was weird to his own species. Like not "alien monster" weird but weird like that uncle who goes hunting way too much and everything in his trophy-replete house is made out of animal parts and when he gets eaten by a bear, it's sad but not entirely surprising.
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 9:46 AM on April 7, 2015 [37 favorites]
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 9:46 AM on April 7, 2015 [37 favorites]
The weird baby from Eraserhead? I would have gone with Frank Booth from Blue Velvet or Bobby Peru from Wild at Heart.
posted by cazoo at 9:49 AM on April 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by cazoo at 9:49 AM on April 7, 2015 [9 favorites]
Come on it's like you're not even familiar with the rest of the films, even the one starring Adrien Brody's Majestic Nostrils.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:50 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by poffin boffin at 9:50 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
I mean really IF ANYTHINg the first Predator was a fucking slacker.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:51 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by poffin boffin at 9:51 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Like not "alien monster" weird but weird like that uncle who goes hunting way too much
He's not even your weird uncle - he's your weird cousin who really had something to prove at his destination bar mitzvah.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:52 AM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
He's not even your weird uncle - he's your weird cousin who really had something to prove at his destination bar mitzvah.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:52 AM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Missing Sam Rockwell from Seven Psychopaths, who's greatness is how retroactively weird he gets as his own weirdness escalates.
Also, dead on with Judge Doom. I have seen Roger Rabbit literally hundreds of times and ONLY RECENTLY can I watch the Steamroller scene without averting my eyes. (THE SCREAMING)
posted by The Whelk at 9:54 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, dead on with Judge Doom. I have seen Roger Rabbit literally hundreds of times and ONLY RECENTLY can I watch the Steamroller scene without averting my eyes. (THE SCREAMING)
posted by The Whelk at 9:54 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Here, I did your research for you
It's an interesting bit of trivia, but IMO the Furies still came off as mostly funny instead of particularly threatening. A letterman jacket is one thing, but a full baseball uniform and face paint is quite another. On film it's a laugh even knowing it was loosely based on a gang with a baseball-related name. I will grant you I would be freaked the hell out if I encountered guys dressed like this in real life because jesus, guys, what the hell.
This list though...entertaining, but Eraserhead? The baby is not really a villain or bad guy, is it? There's no real villain in Eraserhead. It's all pretty much internal to Henry. Also Willy Wonka. He's not a bad guy, he's just not particularly good, if you happen to be a contest-winning kid with some unfortunate personality flaw.
posted by Hoopo at 9:56 AM on April 7, 2015
It's an interesting bit of trivia, but IMO the Furies still came off as mostly funny instead of particularly threatening. A letterman jacket is one thing, but a full baseball uniform and face paint is quite another. On film it's a laugh even knowing it was loosely based on a gang with a baseball-related name. I will grant you I would be freaked the hell out if I encountered guys dressed like this in real life because jesus, guys, what the hell.
This list though...entertaining, but Eraserhead? The baby is not really a villain or bad guy, is it? There's no real villain in Eraserhead. It's all pretty much internal to Henry. Also Willy Wonka. He's not a bad guy, he's just not particularly good, if you happen to be a contest-winning kid with some unfortunate personality flaw.
posted by Hoopo at 9:56 AM on April 7, 2015
Hey, if you aren't going to put Gary Oldman on there for Zorg, he should at least get a nod for Stansfield from Leon/The Professional. Pill-cracking, drug-dealing crooked cop who blissfully listens to classical music before massacring an entire family.
Also, Willy Wonka isn't a bad guy... he is JUSTICE. Like Batman.
posted by ghostiger at 9:59 AM on April 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
Also, Willy Wonka isn't a bad guy... he is JUSTICE. Like Batman.
posted by ghostiger at 9:59 AM on April 7, 2015 [8 favorites]
Sam Rockwell from Seven Psychopaths: definitely, incontrovertibly weird. Although I'm not at all sure he's the bad guy -- I think the Woody Harrelson character is the bad guy, no?
posted by holborne at 10:00 AM on April 7, 2015
posted by holborne at 10:00 AM on April 7, 2015
The Baseball Furies are awesome -- Walter Hill took some elements from a real gang, combined it with KISS makeup to provide an almost kabuki effect, and then shot the scene like a samurai movie.
Woah, that actually makes the Furies even cooler. I can imagine the Furies donning a catcher's mask and padding like a Samurai putting on armor. And it works on another level, because baseball is a national pastime in Japan too!
posted by FJT at 10:02 AM on April 7, 2015
Woah, that actually makes the Furies even cooler. I can imagine the Furies donning a catcher's mask and padding like a Samurai putting on armor. And it works on another level, because baseball is a national pastime in Japan too!
posted by FJT at 10:02 AM on April 7, 2015
It's an interesting bit of trivia, but IMO the Furies still came off as mostly funny instead of particularly threatening.
The only actually threatening character in the film was rapist James Remar. I mean, the punks in the subway? They wore osk-goshes and roller skates.
posted by maxsparber at 10:03 AM on April 7, 2015
The only actually threatening character in the film was rapist James Remar. I mean, the punks in the subway? They wore osk-goshes and roller skates.
posted by maxsparber at 10:03 AM on April 7, 2015
"For that matter, why is Alexander DeLarge only relegated to an offhand comment? An untraviolence-loving, nadsat-speaking savage youth who loves Beethoven? He's a natural for the list."
As seen in the quoted, linked sentence of this post, Alex is right there with Chigurgh and The Mystery Man sharing honors at
"81%". (Which works out to be the fifth most weird ranking in his list.)
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:12 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
As seen in the quoted, linked sentence of this post, Alex is right there with Chigurgh and The Mystery Man sharing honors at
"81%". (Which works out to be the fifth most weird ranking in his list.)
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:12 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Kurtz definitely belongs on the list, near the top.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:13 AM on April 7, 2015
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:13 AM on April 7, 2015
Some of the gangs were ridiculous, others were just dudes in army coats, bomber jackets, or black t-shirts and jeans or whatever. The Baseball Furies are memorable for being over-the-top in a movie with the aforementioned overalls-roller-skates gang. Looking through the Warriors wiki however, I notice there was also a mime gang. So that's up there, too.
posted by Hoopo at 10:14 AM on April 7, 2015
posted by Hoopo at 10:14 AM on April 7, 2015
The Hi-Hats. They have mime makeup, but otherwise dress like Bowery B'hoys, which is appropriate, because they come from SoHo.
Take away the makeup, they're right out of Gangs of New York.
posted by maxsparber at 10:19 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Take away the makeup, they're right out of Gangs of New York.
posted by maxsparber at 10:19 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
oh come on..
Michael Rooker as serial killer, Henry Lee Lucas in Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer
ok then...
posted by judson at 10:30 AM on April 7, 2015
Michael Rooker as serial killer, Henry Lee Lucas in Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer
ok then...
posted by judson at 10:30 AM on April 7, 2015
Oops. I read the article but missed that he actually was listed.
posted by Gelatin at 10:30 AM on April 7, 2015
posted by Gelatin at 10:30 AM on April 7, 2015
It seems like this guy hasn't seen a whole lot of movies.
posted by codacorolla at 10:35 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by codacorolla at 10:35 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Also, Willy Wonka isn't a bad guy... he is JUSTICE. Like Batman.
Exactly; The kids (well, all but one) are the bad guys. And some of them are pretty weird as well.
posted by TedW at 10:36 AM on April 7, 2015
Exactly; The kids (well, all but one) are the bad guys. And some of them are pretty weird as well.
posted by TedW at 10:36 AM on April 7, 2015
Jim Carrey's character from Cable Guy?
posted by Windigo at 10:40 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Windigo at 10:40 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, Willy Wonka isn't a bad guy... he is JUSTICE. Like Batman.
Batman does not have a murder maze, that's more of Batman villain thing.
posted by Artw at 10:41 AM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Batman does not have a murder maze, that's more of Batman villain thing.
posted by Artw at 10:41 AM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Speaking of Gangs of New York and weirdos...
posted by lagomorphius at 10:41 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by lagomorphius at 10:41 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Speaking of Gangs of New York and weirdos...
posted by lagomorphius at 10:41 AM on April 7 [+] [!]
A: Yeah, totally agree. World-class weirdo.
B: You picked that scene because of your username, didn't you?
posted by maxsparber at 10:46 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by lagomorphius at 10:41 AM on April 7 [+] [!]
A: Yeah, totally agree. World-class weirdo.
B: You picked that scene because of your username, didn't you?
posted by maxsparber at 10:46 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Willy Wonka is actually Wrath, and that movie is Se7en with kids. Once I heard that, I've never been able to see it the same way.
posted by nevercalm at 10:52 AM on April 7, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by nevercalm at 10:52 AM on April 7, 2015 [10 favorites]
Hang on, so this only rules out horror villains, right? Then weirdest bad guy ever is Pizza the Hut. A mound of sentient pizza that eats himself to death, hard to beat that.
posted by Hoopo at 10:57 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Hoopo at 10:57 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Where is Scarlett Johannsen in Under the Skin?
I agree that she doesn't belong on this list, partly because she wasn't really the villain or bad guy in that movie anyway, but man, that was a hell of a performance. She was deeply unsettling and compelling in that role, not so much because she was weird, but because she was so thoroughly uncanny and Other. She was an alien in a person suit, everything about her pinging your lizard brain to think "not human not human not human."
Also, jeeze, Willy Wonka. I think kids more readily accept trickster figures in media, while adults look at them and think "what the fuck this is creepy," because as a kid I definitely recall recognizing Willy Wonka's fucked-upness but accepting him anyway, while adult me thinks the whole movie is a horror show. Never mind Wonka though, the real villains are Grandpa Joe and the other grandparents.
posted by yasaman at 11:09 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
I agree that she doesn't belong on this list, partly because she wasn't really the villain or bad guy in that movie anyway, but man, that was a hell of a performance. She was deeply unsettling and compelling in that role, not so much because she was weird, but because she was so thoroughly uncanny and Other. She was an alien in a person suit, everything about her pinging your lizard brain to think "not human not human not human."
Also, jeeze, Willy Wonka. I think kids more readily accept trickster figures in media, while adults look at them and think "what the fuck this is creepy," because as a kid I definitely recall recognizing Willy Wonka's fucked-upness but accepting him anyway, while adult me thinks the whole movie is a horror show. Never mind Wonka though, the real villains are Grandpa Joe and the other grandparents.
posted by yasaman at 11:09 AM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
How about the bad guy from Space Mutiny? His getaway vehicle was a floor cleaning machine. That's gotta be worth like 73 weirdo points.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:15 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:15 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Put your helmet on, we'll be reaching speeds of three!
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 11:17 AM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by a manly man person who is male and masculine at 11:17 AM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Michael Douglas' turn as D-FENS in "Falling Down" was weird/sinister. As well as his utter surprise...."I'm the bad guy?"
Yes. Yes you are.
posted by Thistledown at 11:20 AM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Yes. Yes you are.
posted by Thistledown at 11:20 AM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Okay okay okay, when we say "bad guy" do we mean "antagonist"? Or do we mean "reprehensible person"? Because one list includes Willy Wonka and one includes Alex Delarge and they are not the same lists.
And if you're including an Eccleston bad guy for weird, check out Shallow Grave.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:41 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
And if you're including an Eccleston bad guy for weird, check out Shallow Grave.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:41 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is there also a list of bad guys whose characterization plays on jingoistic or homophobic stereotypes to artlessly try to disquiet the viewer? I bet union of the two sets is probably sizable.
posted by johnnydummkopf at 11:48 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by johnnydummkopf at 11:48 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Jesus Quintana isn't even the weirdest character in TBL. Compare him with Walter. Walter is far more obsessive re bowling. He literally pulls a gun on someone in an argument over the rules. He is also obsessed with his combat experiences and is so incapable of rational thought he nearly gets himself and his friends killed.
Eight year olds, dude.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:52 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
Eight year olds, dude.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:52 AM on April 7, 2015 [5 favorites]
No mention of Cronenberg's Naked Lunch? Was it just ignorance, or demerits because it couldn't possibly be weirder than the Burroughs book, or there was no clear bad guy, or what? Because it's about the weirdest thing I've laid eyeballs on, with the possible exception of cartoonist Chester Brown's Ed the Happy Clown, in which the title character had the head of his penis replaced with the miniature head of Ronald Reagan. (Even weirder because it was some alternate universe version of Reagan who looked nothing like ours.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:53 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:53 AM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yeah, Dr. Benway (particularly as Roy Scheider portrays him) is supremely weird.
Benway was basically Burrough's shorthand for the sort of socially respectable upstanding citizen who uses that as a cover for being deeply, horribly twisted.
The scene where Scheider reveals himself with a flourish and shouts "Benway!" is brilliant.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:17 PM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Benway was basically Burrough's shorthand for the sort of socially respectable upstanding citizen who uses that as a cover for being deeply, horribly twisted.
The scene where Scheider reveals himself with a flourish and shouts "Benway!" is brilliant.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:17 PM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Hey, if you aren't going to put Gary Oldman on there for Zorg, he should at least get a nod for Stansfield from Leon/The Professional. Pill-cracking, drug-dealing crooked cop who blissfully listens to classical music before massacring an entire family.
Yes. YES!!
And if you're including an Eccleston bad guy for weird, check out Shallow Grave.
Eccleston is one of my favorite actors specifically because how good a villain he plays. So much so that I like to just imagine that he's really the bad guy no matter what I'm watching him in. It made the first season of the new Doctor Who really interesting.
posted by quin at 12:46 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yes. YES!!
And if you're including an Eccleston bad guy for weird, check out Shallow Grave.
Eccleston is one of my favorite actors specifically because how good a villain he plays. So much so that I like to just imagine that he's really the bad guy no matter what I'm watching him in. It made the first season of the new Doctor Who really interesting.
posted by quin at 12:46 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
No Dolph Lundgren as Street Preacher in Johnny Mnemonic?
posted by zippy at 12:50 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by zippy at 12:50 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
Ah, the Mystery Man. Truly, Lynch is a nut.
posted by sonic meat machine at 1:01 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by sonic meat machine at 1:01 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Willy Wonka was chaotic neutral. I would say chaotic good, but ultimately his loyalties were to capitalist enterprise. Like maybe he did want to help the Oompa-Loompas, but let's not pretend the free undocumented labor supply didn't factor into his decision to relocate them to his factory.
posted by dephlogisticated at 1:08 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by dephlogisticated at 1:08 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Also, how is Rubber not on this list?
posted by dephlogisticated at 1:11 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by dephlogisticated at 1:11 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
ultimately his loyalties were to capitalist enterprise
He had such a weird business model though I can't imagine it's all profit-driven. His approach to building a chocolate factory doesn't strike me as very cost-effective, and things like the Everlasting Gobstopper just fly in the face of good business. You sell one gobstopper and that person is off the market forever! And what businessperson would design something like the great glass elevator and not see dollar signs? He could make so much from the Defense Department with that sort of technology, he'd never need to make chocolate again.
posted by Hoopo at 1:24 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
He had such a weird business model though I can't imagine it's all profit-driven. His approach to building a chocolate factory doesn't strike me as very cost-effective, and things like the Everlasting Gobstopper just fly in the face of good business. You sell one gobstopper and that person is off the market forever! And what businessperson would design something like the great glass elevator and not see dollar signs? He could make so much from the Defense Department with that sort of technology, he'd never need to make chocolate again.
posted by Hoopo at 1:24 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Hoopo: I am sure there are people out there whose first thought when they invent things is not how to weaponise them as the route to monetising them. Or at least there are in fiction.
posted by biffa at 1:42 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by biffa at 1:42 PM on April 7, 2015
I see Wonka as being in the Ayn Rand model of industrialist. He's an eccentric and narcissistic innovator that wants to re-write the rules and overturn the whole market. That's partly what the whole Golden Ticket thing was about: not just finding a successor, but generating massive PR and selling tons of product in a way that Slugworth could never anticipate or counter. The eccentricities, the wonderland factory, the weird inventions—they might be genuine Wonka, but they're also part of the brand. He's selling to children, after all. He has to capture imaginations.
posted by dephlogisticated at 1:55 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by dephlogisticated at 1:55 PM on April 7, 2015
How have I never made the Willy Wonka-Michael Jackson connection before in my head?
posted by Navelgazer at 1:57 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by Navelgazer at 1:57 PM on April 7, 2015
Despite Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory being a musical, I am convinced that anytime Wonka sings it is outside the bounds of the laws of a movie musical universe. He's just a dude who starts singing, apropos of nothing.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:26 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by shakespeherian at 2:26 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Back in the mid nineties, a bunch of my college friends (recently graduated) went to see Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory at the movie theater. This was the first time I'd seen the film since I'd been a kid -- unlike most of those friends, I'd actually been alive when the movie came out (I was seven, and I vividly remember the day at school that I got the soundtrack I'd ordered from Scholastic Books). I'd never read the book -- my childhood lacked Roald Dahl, I'm sorry to say.
Anyway, not only did I react differently to the movie at 31 than I did at 7, but I reacted differently than my friends. I was horrified as we walked out of the theater. I was animated about it, I couldn't get over how villainous Wonka was, how sinister. Wonka has a strong child-predator vibe, he's all about how special Charlie is and about secrets they share and how Charlie's going to fulfill Wonka's ambitions. And here, have some candy, little boy, you like candy! You love candy!
I also saw Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as a small child when it was released. I was four. And I'm convinced that the Child Catcher is the scariest fucking character in the history of film.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:32 PM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Anyway, not only did I react differently to the movie at 31 than I did at 7, but I reacted differently than my friends. I was horrified as we walked out of the theater. I was animated about it, I couldn't get over how villainous Wonka was, how sinister. Wonka has a strong child-predator vibe, he's all about how special Charlie is and about secrets they share and how Charlie's going to fulfill Wonka's ambitions. And here, have some candy, little boy, you like candy! You love candy!
♫ Who can take a sunriseUh-huh. Right.
Sprinkle it with dew
Cover it in chocolate
And a miracle or two
The candy man
The candy man can
The candy man can cause he
Mixes it with love and
Makes the world taste good ♫
I also saw Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as a small child when it was released. I was four. And I'm convinced that the Child Catcher is the scariest fucking character in the history of film.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 2:32 PM on April 7, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also the flying car was Q's best spy toy.
posted by localroger at 3:07 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by localroger at 3:07 PM on April 7, 2015
It seems capricious and arbitrary to include science fiction and exclude horror. Predator is as much a horror film as a science fiction movie and if you think he's weird, why not throw in the xenomorph from Alien?
posted by Renoroc at 3:11 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by Renoroc at 3:11 PM on April 7, 2015
The xenomorph is a monster. Predator is a lot more like us. He uses tools and technology and presumably has a civilization which made them. His vulnerability is also the limit of his technology, behind which he is mortal like us. It's the ways he is like us that make the ways he is different from us weird.
posted by localroger at 3:15 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by localroger at 3:15 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
It seems capricious and arbitrary to include science fiction and exclude horror.
An internet list article is capricious and arbitrary? Somebody go call ArbitraryAndCapricious. Somebody else go call We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese and let him know we're talking about Space Mutiny.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 3:22 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
An internet list article is capricious and arbitrary? Somebody go call ArbitraryAndCapricious. Somebody else go call We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese and let him know we're talking about Space Mutiny.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 3:22 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Crispin Glover's character from Charlie's Angels probably also could make the list. A mute, hair fetishist who fights with a sword cane? That's gotta be worth some percentage more than your average baddy.
And SID 6.7 from Virtuosity with lines like "Just because I'm carrying around the joy of killing your family inside me doesn't mean we can't be friends.", he'd work too.
Brad Dourif's Jack Dante from the criminally underrated Death Machine. "He's dead. I showed him my thing... and it killed him!". Damn, I need to watch that movie again.
I kinda sort of think Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon would fit here as well.
Repo Man. Just everyone. The whole movie.
posted by quin at 3:54 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
And SID 6.7 from Virtuosity with lines like "Just because I'm carrying around the joy of killing your family inside me doesn't mean we can't be friends.", he'd work too.
Brad Dourif's Jack Dante from the criminally underrated Death Machine. "He's dead. I showed him my thing... and it killed him!". Damn, I need to watch that movie again.
I kinda sort of think Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon would fit here as well.
Repo Man. Just everyone. The whole movie.
posted by quin at 3:54 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
And Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo from Buckaroo Banzai, that guy was weird as fuck.
posted by quin at 4:00 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by quin at 4:00 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh shit, speaking of Gary Oldman roles: Mason Verger in the movie of Hannibal. It's hard to make a villain who's so over-the-top evil that he literally drinks martinis flavored with the tears of children even more despicable, but Oldman manages. (He also had his name removed from the theatrical release of the film; consider the implications of that.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:06 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:06 PM on April 7, 2015
The xenomorph is a monster.
What do you mean they cut the power? They're animals, man!
posted by Artw at 4:23 PM on April 7, 2015
What do you mean they cut the power? They're animals, man!
posted by Artw at 4:23 PM on April 7, 2015
"Crispin Glover's character from Charlie's Angels probably also could make the list."
I'm gonna go with Glover being about 92% weird, and in a way that frightens small children, adults, dogs, cats, plants, rocks and clouds, nearby planets, and hydrogen.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 4:29 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
I'm gonna go with Glover being about 92% weird, and in a way that frightens small children, adults, dogs, cats, plants, rocks and clouds, nearby planets, and hydrogen.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 4:29 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
All but two of the characters from Dodgeball should be on this list. Patches O'Houlihan, White Goodman, Steve the Pirate, Gordon ...
posted by zippy at 5:17 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by zippy at 5:17 PM on April 7, 2015
Gotta go with Frank Booth.
posted by madmethods at 5:26 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by madmethods at 5:26 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
The ol' Wicked Witch had this four-year-old pretty damned freaked out back in the day. "And her little dog, too!" OMG what would she do to Toto, seriously? Plus the way her sister's feet curled up and retracted under that house... too creepy.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:40 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by kinnakeet at 5:40 PM on April 7, 2015
I just wanna say that if you're just now discovering Eraserhead, the odds are good you don't have all your research in for your article about the weirdest anything in movies.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:51 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 5:51 PM on April 7, 2015 [4 favorites]
All but two of the characters from Dodgeball should be on this list. Patches O'Houlihan, White Goodman, Steve the Pirate, Gordon ...
I really like unicorns.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:11 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
I really like unicorns.
posted by Navelgazer at 6:11 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
My husband was very disappointed that Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China didn't make the list. I think he's right.
posted by holborne at 6:32 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by holborne at 6:32 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
The Mantle twins from Dead Ringers. fyi, not a great date movie.
posted by j_curiouser at 6:51 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by j_curiouser at 6:51 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Gotta go with Frank Booth.
Of course! "Do you want me to pour the beer, Frank?" "No, I want you to fuck it!"
posted by jonp72 at 7:14 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Of course! "Do you want me to pour the beer, Frank?" "No, I want you to fuck it!"
posted by jonp72 at 7:14 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Brad Dourif's Jack Dante from the criminally underrated Death Machine. "He's dead. I showed him my thing... and it killed him!". Damn, I need to watch that movie again.
I'm just amazed somebody else has seen Death Machine. Like how at the same time the Robocop-style defense industry monster with spiky metallic teeth runs amok, the defense contractor gets invaded by militant revolutionaries who carry no bullets in their guns. Because they're militantly pacifist... or something. Strangely enough, it actually makes weird sense in the context of the movie.
posted by jonp72 at 7:17 PM on April 7, 2015
I'm just amazed somebody else has seen Death Machine. Like how at the same time the Robocop-style defense industry monster with spiky metallic teeth runs amok, the defense contractor gets invaded by militant revolutionaries who carry no bullets in their guns. Because they're militantly pacifist... or something. Strangely enough, it actually makes weird sense in the context of the movie.
posted by jonp72 at 7:17 PM on April 7, 2015
Frank Booth, "The candy colored clown they call the sandman..."
posted by Oyéah at 8:08 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Oyéah at 8:08 PM on April 7, 2015 [1 favorite]
Jesus Quintana isn't even the weirdest character in TBL.
Liam. Why does Liam bowl with Jesus? Is it just because the creep can roll? It can't be just because the creep can roll. But why else?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:21 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
Liam. Why does Liam bowl with Jesus? Is it just because the creep can roll? It can't be just because the creep can roll. But why else?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:21 PM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Don't be a good neighbor to her. I'll send you a love letter straight from my heart, fucker. Do you know what a love letter is? It's a bullet from a fuckin' gun, fucker. If you receive a love letter from me, you are fucked forever. Do you understand, fuck? I'll send ya straight to Hell, fucker!" This has stuck with me for a very long time. Frank Booth.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:27 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by benito.strauss at 8:27 PM on April 7, 2015
The candy man can cause he
Mixes it with love and
Makes the world taste good ♫
To reinforce Wonka as weird villain, listen to the Primus version of Candy Man.
posted by rifflesby at 9:19 PM on April 7, 2015
Mixes it with love and
Makes the world taste good ♫
To reinforce Wonka as weird villain, listen to the Primus version of Candy Man.
posted by rifflesby at 9:19 PM on April 7, 2015
I'm gonna go with the Toecutter on this one..
LIGHT ME, JOHNNY. >_>
posted by ostranenie at 9:22 PM on April 7, 2015
LIGHT ME, JOHNNY. >_>
posted by ostranenie at 9:22 PM on April 7, 2015
Also, yes, Rockwell was one of the bad guys. "Don't say I never gave you anything!"
posted by ostranenie at 9:26 PM on April 7, 2015
posted by ostranenie at 9:26 PM on April 7, 2015
My husband was very disappointed that Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China didn't make the list. I think he's right.
Yeah, what's an ordinary day like for Lo Pan? Can you see him feeding a parking meter?
posted by zippy at 12:18 AM on April 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yeah, what's an ordinary day like for Lo Pan? Can you see him feeding a parking meter?
posted by zippy at 12:18 AM on April 8, 2015 [2 favorites]
The weirdest bad guy in a non-horror film is The President in Pasolini's 120 Days of Sodom. Just look at that shit-eating grin. Creep Factor 1 million.
posted by dgaicun at 2:05 AM on April 8, 2015
posted by dgaicun at 2:05 AM on April 8, 2015
List fails for lack of Frank Booth.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:58 AM on April 8, 2015
posted by From Bklyn at 5:58 AM on April 8, 2015
Surprised not to see Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet or Willem Dafoe in Lost Highway.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:03 AM on April 8, 2015
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:03 AM on April 8, 2015
And Lord John Whorfin / Dr. Emilio Lizardo from Buckaroo Banzai, that guy was weird as fuck.
Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:07 AM on April 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
Laugh while you can, monkeyboy!
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:07 AM on April 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
It's Bigbootay!
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:00 PM on April 8, 2015
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:00 PM on April 8, 2015
The Mantle twins from Dead Ringers. fyi, not a great date movie.
Therein hangs a tale, I suspect...
posted by jonp72 at 12:10 PM on April 8, 2015
Therein hangs a tale, I suspect...
posted by jonp72 at 12:10 PM on April 8, 2015
No Cruella De Vil? Dudes, she hunts down puppies and wears their skins! And she's a Disney character, which means she has her own theme music!
posted by SPrintF at 1:28 PM on April 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 1:28 PM on April 8, 2015 [3 favorites]
Also, Lo Pan? He's been trying to find the right woman for two thousand years – can you imagine his OKC profile?
posted by zippy at 5:41 PM on April 8, 2015
posted by zippy at 5:41 PM on April 8, 2015
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posted by triggerfinger at 9:16 AM on April 7, 2015 [2 favorites]