The Bridwell Migraine
April 10, 2015 12:08 AM   Subscribe

Flippity Floppity,
District Attorney Dent
Got splashed by acid, so
Now he's Two-Face.
His personality's
Heterogeneous;
He flipped when Batman put
Him in his place.

Seepily Deepily,
T.S. Smith (Tiger Shark)
Ended a villain, but
Started a fish.
He attacked the Green Lantern
Unhesitatingly.
He's lucky he wasn't
Served in a dish.

Supervillain 'poetry' by E. Nelson Bridwell, the original Continuity Cop
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants (16 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Double dactyls 4 lyf.
posted by terretu at 12:20 AM on April 10, 2015 [4 favorites]


I remember reading the comic digest where these were published in the back. Even as a nerdy 9 year old I was quite awed at the depths of fandom required to write poetry about obscure Flash villains.

As far as continuity goes, how much worse was Bridwell than the clowns writing Convergence now, which seems to be Secret Wars: The DC Edition.
posted by benzenedream at 1:38 AM on April 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


He attacked the Green Lantern

Bridwelly Didwelly
E. Nelson Bridwell, he
Saw continuity,
Brought it to heel.

Wherefore that extra "the"?
Unmathematical!
Double-dactylically
Overstuffed meal.
posted by lumensimus at 1:42 AM on April 10, 2015 [3 favorites]


After consulting the original image...

Imagey Pimagey,
Sweatpanted Charlemagne
Added this article
Quite on his own.

So t'was that this "the" was
Extemporaneous --
Or typographical --
Let it be known!
posted by lumensimus at 1:49 AM on April 10, 2015 [6 favorites]


OK, but where's the one about DC's greatest villain, Dan Didio?
posted by kewb at 3:12 AM on April 10, 2015


He blows the scansion. "District Attorney Dent" is one syllable too long, for instance.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:42 AM on April 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's a bit of a stretch; you have to read it as 'DIS-trict-at / TOR-ney-dent'.
posted by scrowdid at 4:13 AM on April 10, 2015


Double Dactyls: the rules

Each poem is eight lines long.
Each line is double dactyl meter, except for the fourth and eighth which are choriambs.
The first line is nonsense (traditionally "Higgledy piggledy," though not necessarily).
The second line names the person or place to be commemorated.
The fourth and eighth lines have a strong (masculine) rhyme; other lines need not rhyme.
The antipenultimate line in the second half must be a single six-syllable double-dactyl word.

Not quite as restricting as the rules for sestinas.
posted by fredludd at 5:08 AM on April 10, 2015


Willard Espy calls these "Hechtascallanders," as they were invented by Anthony Hecht, Paul Pascal, and John Hollander.
posted by edheil at 5:38 AM on April 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


benzenedream, I have in front of me that very digest, "Secret Origins of Super-Villains".

The linked article failed to include the poem Bridwell wrote for the Penguin, so I shall share it here:

Awkety Squakety,
Oswald C. Cobblepot
With other Batman foes
Sometimes has words.
Catwoman claims he has
Ailurophobia.
(That's fear of cats.) She thinks
He's for the birds.


And now, I think I have to go lie down with in a dark room until the Bridwell Migraine subsides.
posted by ursus_comiter at 6:57 AM on April 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is great and Imma let you finish, but Jonni DC was the first, last and only Continuity Cop. (Ambush Bug. Represent.)
posted by The Bellman at 7:00 AM on April 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


No, no, all of these are too competent. They lack the spark of true badness. I mean come on, look at the Penguin example ursus_comiter cites. I at first thought that was one that someone here came up with and was going to be like, see, THAT's how you do it. But of course it was the master.

Just goes to show you, it's not easy to be the McGonigle of DC superhero poetry.

(Or even its Rod McKuen...)
posted by Naberius at 7:21 AM on April 10, 2015


This post?
God's work!
posted by Mezentian at 7:37 AM on April 10, 2015


Hankety pankety
Superman's enemy
Wealthy Lex Luthor has
Made some mistakes

Like that one time when he
(And it was terrible)
Kleptomaniacally
Stole forty cakes
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:43 AM on April 10, 2015 [8 favorites]


The antipenultimate line in the second half must be a single six-syllable double-dactyl word.


The way I learned it it could be any of the first three lines in the second stanza.
posted by kenko at 12:36 PM on April 10, 2015


The rules:

Choriamb choriamb
Three pairs of dactyls then
One extra line having
Stress at its ends;

Supplement this with a
Bipedal finger to
Autodescriptively
Wow all your friends.
posted by kenko at 12:37 PM on April 10, 2015 [3 favorites]


« Older Masao Kinoshita   |   Tubular feels Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments