Half grown up, half baby
April 15, 2015 11:49 AM   Subscribe

Ava Ryan is the four-year-old queen of Vine. Here are some of her greatest hits.
posted by easter queen (20 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
Read that as Ayn Rand. Definitely not what I was expecting.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:57 AM on April 15, 2015 [15 favorites]


I read that as Ayn Rand too... I was hoping for a four year old cutely saying "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."
posted by FallowKing at 12:04 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


Can individual Vine posters monetize their posts like on YouTube? The majority of these seem kind of less in the "from the mouth of babes" category than the "from the mouth of carefully coached babes" category, so I guess I'm just wondering why.
posted by johnnydummkopf at 12:07 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


To my eyes it seems that some of these are coached in a hard/monetizing way (Nordstrom-sponsored gift giving Vine!), some are coached in a soft way ("Ava, do your 'asking for Wi-fi' impression!"), and some are spontaneous.
posted by easter queen at 12:10 PM on April 15, 2015


AFAIK you can't directly monetize Vine, but you could get sponsorships. And there are stories of people getting acting roles, book deals, etc. from Vine and Twitter. They might be angling for something like that. There definitely is a perception that any kind of fame is good (hence people clamoring to be on shows like The Real World and Real Housewives).
posted by primethyme at 12:10 PM on April 15, 2015


She's no electrolemon (the #OperationUpdog videos got me LOL) but she'll do.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:15 PM on April 15, 2015


She is cute, but these all seem set up.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:25 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


Dont want to rain on cuteness parade ... but this reminds me of honey boo boo type of situation.

Are we equipped to handle this level of attention and memory retention during childhood?

For most of us, childhood is kind of blur with selective high points being remembered or recorded. and those high points affect so much of our adult behavior.

When each and every moment can be reviewed and enjoyed later, the psychological profile of a constantly connected, frequently narcissistic persona is going to be unrecognizable to the earlier generations.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 12:46 PM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


I have a couple of these at home. It's not as great as it sounds.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:58 PM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


Hey bud.
posted by phearlez at 1:13 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


Somebody should write a polemic titled: DON'T PUT YOUR KIDS ON THE OPEN INTERNET. A locked-down website for sharing photos with family is fine, but privacy is a thing that's really important to protect for little people who haven't fully developed yet. DON'T MONETIZE YOUR FRICKING CHILDREN, PEOPLE. THIS GOES FOR YOU TOO, MOMMY AND DADDY BLOGGERS!
posted by leotrotsky at 1:43 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]


This was worth the price of admission: "How old are you?" "Sixteen! I'm a GRANDmotha'."
posted by aught at 1:46 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


Also, someone in the comments suggests this must be what Amy Poehler was like as a child, which as we all know is just nuts. I mean, this is what Amy Poehler is like NOW.
posted by aught at 1:50 PM on April 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


the psychological profile of a constantly connected, frequently narcissistic persona is going to be unrecognizable to the earlier generations

heh, is this a quote from a New York Times trend piece about millennials or just a really good impression?
posted by en forme de poire at 1:50 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]


I have only watched the ones in the 'greatest' link, but from there I can safely say that she is my role model.

i just don't care what people think i just farted i'm sorry

Polite. Unashamed. The little nod. Yup.
posted by you must supply a verb at 1:53 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


Carefully managed toddler's Vine posts on Buzzfeed.

I hate this decade.
posted by George_Spiggott at 2:18 PM on April 15, 2015 [10 favorites]


Yeah, I don't even use names on the Internet, even on my locked down posts, Boy is Boy and niece is Girl, and so it shall ever be. The Internet is forever, and ripping my kid's privacy away before they are old enough to understand the implications seems a terrible ethical breach of parental responsibility.
posted by dejah420 at 2:50 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]


I like this kid and I enjoyed it but yeah one starts to wonder about things like child labor laws. I have no problems with people showcasing their kids talent/cuteness for profit as long as there are laws in place that force parents to put a certain % of revenue incurred from anything that uses a child's likeness or actions into a trust.

You have to understand the impetus though. I post my kid on instagram to my meager followers, 90% of whom I know personally, but I'd draw the line at videos in a more shareable format like vine once she can talk. It would be really hard if she was this hilarious and precocious though, so maybe you'll catch me coaxing my already brilliant comedian child on some future version of Vine in 5 years and I'll have to eat my words. You just want to show everyone how great your kids are, and that imo is a fine instinct. "SEE HOW FUNNY SHE IS SHES FUNNY" isn't exactly exploitation.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:03 PM on April 15, 2015 [4 favorites]


I also read that as Ayn Rand.
posted by rankfreudlite at 5:16 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's a good thing that I don't have kids. I would probably exploit them too if they were this adorable. I try exploiting myself, but nobody thinks I'm adorable, so...

Also. True story:

A high school friend asked me back in 1999 or so "What's with you? It's like, you're way up here... (his hand over his head, indicating a fairly high level of intellect) and yet... way down here.... (hand below his knee indicating mental capacity of a 5 year old)"

HALF GROWN UP HALF BABY!
posted by symbioid at 7:13 PM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]


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