*tips fedora* Major.
April 15, 2015 8:05 PM Subscribe
Fans of Star Trek Deep Space Nine know that former overlord Gul Dukat is a mercurial man. He's embraced Bajoran religion more than once, and his Bajoran cosplay is fairly convincing. Should it be any surprise then, that in yet another grasp at power, everyone's favourite Gul-that-is-not-Damar has thrown in his lot with yet another misunderstood and oppressed people? If he cannot rule on Bajor, why couldn't Brony Dukat reign supreme in Equestria?
Unsurprisingly, Kira is having none of it.
Unsurprisingly, Kira is having none of it.
Princess Celestia is on board with this.
posted by localroger at 8:12 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by localroger at 8:12 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
No.
posted by kafziel at 8:16 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by kafziel at 8:16 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
oh my god this is beautiful
posted by kagredon at 8:19 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kagredon at 8:19 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
No.People who don't like or hate bronies have no idea what the group is about.
posted by kafziel at 10:16 PM on April 15
oh my god this is beautiful
posted by kagredon at 10:19 PM on April 15
posted by sparklemotion at 8:24 PM on April 15, 2015 [5 favorites]
Needs more Garak.
posted by googly at 8:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [22 favorites]
posted by googly at 8:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [22 favorites]
googly: That is almost always a true statement. About most things.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:33 PM on April 15, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 8:33 PM on April 15, 2015 [13 favorites]
Well, after Q (John De Lancie) joined MLP:FIM as "Discord", why can't Gul Ducat find a place in the Equestria Canon? The only dragon characters in the Cast List are Spike and Garble, a teenage tough guy dragon in one episode. I could imagine Marc Alaimo as Spike's straight-laced father/uncle/grandpa. Then there was Glinda the Griffon... could he be Gul the Griffon? Get on it, Pony People!
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:52 PM on April 15, 2015
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:52 PM on April 15, 2015
why can't Gul Ducat find a place in the Equestria Canon?
(DS9 Spoilers)
What if what happens to him in DS9 just launches him into the world of Equestria? What if Princess Celestia and Twilight are some of the prophets that helped build the wormhole. Wheels within wheels...
posted by drezdn at 9:43 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
(DS9 Spoilers)
What if what happens to him in DS9 just launches him into the world of Equestria? What if Princess Celestia and Twilight are some of the prophets that helped build the wormhole. Wheels within wheels...
posted by drezdn at 9:43 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
So this means that the Ponies are Pah-Wraiths? That would explain a lot.
posted by gingerest at 9:49 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by gingerest at 9:49 PM on April 15, 2015 [7 favorites]
One of the best things about this is that Marc Alaimo really thought that Dukat was a misunderstood good guy at heart... which the showrunners wrote into the character. Fits this meme perfectly.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:22 PM on April 15, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:22 PM on April 15, 2015 [13 favorites]
So this means that the Ponies are Pah-Wraiths? That would explain a lot.
only one half of the day/night division of ponies, surely? the other half would be the Prophets
BUT WHICH IS WHICH OHOHOHO
posted by kagredon at 10:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
only one half of the day/night division of ponies, surely? the other half would be the Prophets
BUT WHICH IS WHICH OHOHOHO
posted by kagredon at 10:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
SEE ALSO: the fan theory that goes around every few years about the Prophets/Pah-Wraiths being Jedi/Sith
posted by kagredon at 10:35 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by kagredon at 10:35 PM on April 15, 2015 [2 favorites]
I don't like bronies, which is why I think I like this.
posted by Apocryphon at 10:51 PM on April 15, 2015
posted by Apocryphon at 10:51 PM on April 15, 2015
I think this is something that I'd have to explicitly hate on bronies to like.
Though I am amused by the one where Dukat is trolling Weyoun about making Twilight Sparkle the mascot for DS9.
posted by Zalzidrax at 11:13 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
Though I am amused by the one where Dukat is trolling Weyoun about making Twilight Sparkle the mascot for DS9.
posted by Zalzidrax at 11:13 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
Weyoun is definitely the guy who only came to r/mlp to talk up, like, a Gamergate DDOS team or a PUA coaching service and isn't sure why his masters decided that these guys were the ones to recruit
posted by kagredon at 11:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by kagredon at 11:28 PM on April 15, 2015 [8 favorites]
I don't like bronies, which is why I think I like this.
Pretty much. See also: Mitt Little Brony.
posted by kafziel at 11:38 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Pretty much. See also: Mitt Little Brony.
posted by kafziel at 11:38 PM on April 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is it wrong that I can sort of guess as to which episode most of these screencaps came from?
posted by Solomon at 11:47 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Solomon at 11:47 PM on April 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think this is something that I'd have to explicitly hate on bronies to like.
Nah. I don't hate bronies, though I admit that I find the entire fandom kind of baffling. I think this works as funny because of the sheer self-importance of some parts of the fandom (did you know that a sufficient love of ponies is all that is necessary to fix terrorism and/or toxic masculinity?). It combines really well with the sheer chutzpah of the Dukat character, who might have thought that he was misunderstood but was really a murderous dictator that did everything he could to subjugate the Bajoran people again after he lost power.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:24 AM on April 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
Nah. I don't hate bronies, though I admit that I find the entire fandom kind of baffling. I think this works as funny because of the sheer self-importance of some parts of the fandom (did you know that a sufficient love of ponies is all that is necessary to fix terrorism and/or toxic masculinity?). It combines really well with the sheer chutzpah of the Dukat character, who might have thought that he was misunderstood but was really a murderous dictator that did everything he could to subjugate the Bajoran people again after he lost power.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:24 AM on April 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
"Brony workers, your attention please. Your attempt to seize control of this facility is going to fail. You are valuable workers, and we wish you no harm. However, if you do not return control of this fandom to your Cardassian supervisors, we will be forced to take action. You have eight minutes to make your decision."
posted by zarq at 5:46 AM on April 16, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by zarq at 5:46 AM on April 16, 2015 [10 favorites]
"chutzpah"
I see what you did there.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:37 AM on April 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
I see what you did there.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:37 AM on April 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
I don't know if I've been drinking too much kanar, or not enough.
Also, Kira Nerys side-eye is the best side-eye
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:00 AM on April 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
Also, Kira Nerys side-eye is the best side-eye
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:00 AM on April 16, 2015 [4 favorites]
Needs more Garak.
Garak would acquire a mint condition collection of super-rare limited-release MLP figurines, and sit on them for months, just so he could casually mention them to Dukat during a diplomatic visit to DS9. Sitting there, a pyramid of unopened boxes on a shelf next to some Nibiran flatcaps in his clothes store.
Just, oh, these? Yes, I thought they were adorable, I had to get them. What? Oh, heavens no, I can't keep them, that'd be absurd. Sell? No, no, couldn't do that. Who would want to buy them, though, really, it's just—no, no, certainly not. No, I'm giving them away.
To some Bajoran war orphans.
posted by cortex at 7:07 AM on April 16, 2015 [38 favorites]
Garak would acquire a mint condition collection of super-rare limited-release MLP figurines, and sit on them for months, just so he could casually mention them to Dukat during a diplomatic visit to DS9. Sitting there, a pyramid of unopened boxes on a shelf next to some Nibiran flatcaps in his clothes store.
Just, oh, these? Yes, I thought they were adorable, I had to get them. What? Oh, heavens no, I can't keep them, that'd be absurd. Sell? No, no, couldn't do that. Who would want to buy them, though, really, it's just—no, no, certainly not. No, I'm giving them away.
To some Bajoran war orphans.
posted by cortex at 7:07 AM on April 16, 2015 [38 favorites]
My people have been watching your world for years; we know all about you: baseball...root beer...darts...bronies...atom bombs. It's quite a fascinating culture you Humans have here.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:31 AM on April 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 7:31 AM on April 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
I miss writing Larp Trek almost as much as I don't miss being stressed about writing Larp Trek.
posted by cortex at 8:00 AM on April 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by cortex at 8:00 AM on April 16, 2015 [11 favorites]
Which season of DS9 is it where Garak gets all the character development? I mostly stopped watching the show around season 3 or so, not sure exactly but I got busy. But it's right about then that the show got really interesting and I've only ever sampled the later seasons. Maybe it's time to go watch the big story arcs for real? The whole Garak / Kira thing seemed creepy to me. It felt a bit like an SS guard getting chummy with a former concentration camp victim, you know? But I trust they did something more sensitive than that.
Unrelated, but this ST:TNG/Webster crossover is a real thing that really happened.
posted by Nelson at 10:18 AM on April 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Unrelated, but this ST:TNG/Webster crossover is a real thing that really happened.
posted by Nelson at 10:18 AM on April 16, 2015 [3 favorites]
Garak's character was mostly developed in drips and drabs, as he revealed more information about himself. Kira was way too smart to turn her back on him, ever. He did come in useful during the war that happened later on. The Intendent seemed to like him, though.
Improbable Cause (great scene with Bashir discussing an old fable) and The Die Is Cast are a two-parter that see Garak having some interesting scenes with an old colleague and also with Odo. The ending of the latter episode is particularly good, in my opinion.
In Purgatory's Shadow and by Inferno's Light are another couple of very good episodes with some strong Garak development. And a superb conversation between two characters of the same species about him.
In other news, my copy of A Stitch In Time arrived this morning, penned by Andrew J. Robinson himself.
posted by Solomon at 11:07 AM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Improbable Cause (great scene with Bashir discussing an old fable) and The Die Is Cast are a two-parter that see Garak having some interesting scenes with an old colleague and also with Odo. The ending of the latter episode is particularly good, in my opinion.
In Purgatory's Shadow and by Inferno's Light are another couple of very good episodes with some strong Garak development. And a superb conversation between two characters of the same species about him.
In other news, my copy of A Stitch In Time arrived this morning, penned by Andrew J. Robinson himself.
posted by Solomon at 11:07 AM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
They should sprinkle in some TNG-era Alaimo. A bit of Picard would freshen up the *uncomprehending stare* punchline.
posted by Mike Smith at 11:21 AM on April 16, 2015
posted by Mike Smith at 11:21 AM on April 16, 2015
Nelson, I strongly suggest watching all of DS9. It's still pretty good (just watched it for the first time, and it was my first Trek too).
Not sure what you mean by Garak/Kira--they never become a romantic pairing if that's what you're worried about. I think all of the stuff with Kira and others coping with the aftermath of the genocide was very well-done.
posted by chaiminda at 12:35 PM on April 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
Not sure what you mean by Garak/Kira--they never become a romantic pairing if that's what you're worried about. I think all of the stuff with Kira and others coping with the aftermath of the genocide was very well-done.
posted by chaiminda at 12:35 PM on April 16, 2015 [1 favorite]
DS9 on Fanfare would be a very good thing.
posted by Solomon at 12:43 PM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Solomon at 12:43 PM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
That would be great! It'd give me an excuse to stop trying to force myself to finish Voyager...
posted by chaiminda at 12:59 PM on April 16, 2015
posted by chaiminda at 12:59 PM on April 16, 2015
"It is a bad television show," is a pretty good excuse.
posted by Drinky Die at 1:00 PM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Drinky Die at 1:00 PM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
Fanfare Talk. Feel free to weigh in if you're so inclined.
posted by zarq at 1:05 PM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by zarq at 1:05 PM on April 16, 2015 [2 favorites]
DS9 benefited hugely from both Marc Alaimo and Nina Visitor identifying really strongly with their characters. Alaimo was sure that Dukat could reform and be a good guy underneath it all, whereas Visitor thought he was literally as bad as Hitler. Which he kind of was – I mean, we're talking Sturmbannfuhrer levels of culpability for war crimes, minimum.
Fun fact, some of the writers briefly considered a Dukat/Kira romance, which Nina Visitor picked up on immediately (I think after the episode where DS9 is going to blow itself up because of an old Cardassian failsafe) and made very clear was not ever going to happen.
posted by topynate at 9:47 PM on April 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
Fun fact, some of the writers briefly considered a Dukat/Kira romance, which Nina Visitor picked up on immediately (I think after the episode where DS9 is going to blow itself up because of an old Cardassian failsafe) and made very clear was not ever going to happen.
posted by topynate at 9:47 PM on April 16, 2015 [6 favorites]
And of course, Dukat the character is convinced that he's always been a good guy. It's creepy as hell and completely true to life.
posted by topynate at 9:50 PM on April 16, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by topynate at 9:50 PM on April 16, 2015 [8 favorites]
The episode was Civil Defense. One of the best in the series.
Dukat: I set up this program, and I assure you, Major, I will find a way to defeat it. There is no dilemma that cannot be solved by a disciplined, Cardassian mind.
Garak: It's not going to work, you know.
Dukat: What are you babbling on about now?
Garak: I'm talking about Major Kira.
Kira: What about her?
Garak: She's much too busy trying to save this station to be impressed with your incessant posturing.
Dukat: [outraged] Garak!
Garak: And even if she weren't, she has much better taste than to be attracted to you - you, a married man.
Dukat: I should've executed you years ago!
Garak: Oh, you tried, remember?
Bashir: Garak, this isn't helping.
Also:
Dukat: We still have some time left. Thirty minutes, in fact. Why don't I return to my ship and let you think it over. I'll return in say, twenty-five minutes. [Taps communicator.] This is Dukat. One to transport. Energize.
[Nothing happens]
Dukat: Energize!
The monitor on the wall springs to life. Kira and Dukat turn to see a recording of Legate Kell.
Legate Kell: Dukat. If you're seeing this recording, it means you tried to abandon your post while the station's self-destruct sequence was engaged. That will not be permitted.
Dukat: This is outrageous!
Kell: You have lost control of Terok Nor, disgracing yourself and Cardassia. Your attempt to escape is no doubt a final act of cowardice. All fail-safes have been eliminated. Your personal access codes have been rescinded. The destruct sequence can no longer be halted. All you can do now is contemplate the depth of your disgrace.... And try to die like a Cardassian.
Dukat: Computer, abort the self-destruct sequence. This is a priority one override. Clearance level nine. Authorization: Dukat five-one-one-six green.
Computer: Request denied. All authorization codes are void. Time to self-destruct: twenty-five minutes.
[Dukat slams his hand on the table in frustration. Garak laughs.]
Garak: Your own computer program turned against you! I always said your shortsightedness would be your downfall!
posted by zarq at 6:42 AM on April 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
Dukat: I set up this program, and I assure you, Major, I will find a way to defeat it. There is no dilemma that cannot be solved by a disciplined, Cardassian mind.
Garak: It's not going to work, you know.
Dukat: What are you babbling on about now?
Garak: I'm talking about Major Kira.
Kira: What about her?
Garak: She's much too busy trying to save this station to be impressed with your incessant posturing.
Dukat: [outraged] Garak!
Garak: And even if she weren't, she has much better taste than to be attracted to you - you, a married man.
Dukat: I should've executed you years ago!
Garak: Oh, you tried, remember?
Bashir: Garak, this isn't helping.
Also:
Dukat: We still have some time left. Thirty minutes, in fact. Why don't I return to my ship and let you think it over. I'll return in say, twenty-five minutes. [Taps communicator.] This is Dukat. One to transport. Energize.
[Nothing happens]
Dukat: Energize!
The monitor on the wall springs to life. Kira and Dukat turn to see a recording of Legate Kell.
Legate Kell: Dukat. If you're seeing this recording, it means you tried to abandon your post while the station's self-destruct sequence was engaged. That will not be permitted.
Dukat: This is outrageous!
Kell: You have lost control of Terok Nor, disgracing yourself and Cardassia. Your attempt to escape is no doubt a final act of cowardice. All fail-safes have been eliminated. Your personal access codes have been rescinded. The destruct sequence can no longer be halted. All you can do now is contemplate the depth of your disgrace.... And try to die like a Cardassian.
Dukat: Computer, abort the self-destruct sequence. This is a priority one override. Clearance level nine. Authorization: Dukat five-one-one-six green.
Computer: Request denied. All authorization codes are void. Time to self-destruct: twenty-five minutes.
[Dukat slams his hand on the table in frustration. Garak laughs.]
Garak: Your own computer program turned against you! I always said your shortsightedness would be your downfall!
posted by zarq at 6:42 AM on April 17, 2015 [4 favorites]
And of course, Dukat the character is convinced that he's always been a good guy. It's creepy as hell and completely true to life.
Yup, just shows why you shouldn't have dreams and ambitions for power over others.
posted by Drinky Die at 10:42 AM on April 17, 2015
Yup, just shows why you shouldn't have dreams and ambitions for power over others.
posted by Drinky Die at 10:42 AM on April 17, 2015
okay I'm sorry but I found the best one on like page 10
posted by kagredon at 12:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by kagredon at 12:44 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
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