the point is that he doesn’t want me to buy towels.
April 23, 2015 10:25 PM   Subscribe

 
Jenny Lawson is a national treasure.
Victor did not agree because he doesn’t understand how money works.
As has been established before, Victor is often wrong.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:34 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


Yeah, reading about the chicken ("Previously whimsical" link) first is essential.

Manic pixie dream girl is married now and likes to buy things? I guess?
posted by limeonaire at 10:37 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


That metal chicken thread is why a certain mefite was sent a metal rooster through the mail by me.
posted by The Whelk at 10:39 PM on April 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


There is nothing insane about wanting to own and display a giant metal giraffe, regardless of the price. This is a completely reasonable desire. Giraffes are magnificent creatures, they are the Late-70s-David-Bowie of the animal kingdom. They are better than dogs and cats combined.

I fucking pinky-promise that everything I have just written is 100% sincere and not ironic in the slightest.

TEAM METAL GIRAFFE FOREVER
posted by Doleful Creature at 11:06 PM on April 23, 2015 [10 favorites]


Victor is one of the greatest non-fictional characters ever created. I like to imagine that the words he speaks that Jenny shares with us are the only words he speaks or had ever spoken.

Also as soon as I saw the link text I knew this would be Jenny Lawson. If I had the money is buy the giraffe and have it shipped to her house. As a gift. For Victor. I think she'd love that.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:31 PM on April 23, 2015 [5 favorites]


I’m pretty sure I’m proof that you can be broken and magical all at the same time.

I'm pretty sure you are, too.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 11:39 PM on April 23, 2015 [3 favorites]


that was funny and I needed that. So thanks.
posted by From Bklyn at 2:36 AM on April 24, 2015




Sweet Maker of All That is Good, protect me from this sort of thing. Amen.
posted by Poppa Bear at 5:37 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Bag of Defective Unicorns
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:58 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


I like to think that the giant metal giraffe is the one who messed up that display of sheets when the store employees weren't looking.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:24 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


“Hey, I need you to hold the giraffe so I can reach the crystal chandelier.”

I hope when Jenny and Victor get their crystal chandelier for Geraldo, it's this one (which haunts me from another blogess entry).
posted by gladly at 8:19 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


I always enjoy her posts, whatever the mood. But this particular "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"-style breeziness is just wonderful. Keep it up, Bloggess!
posted by wenestvedt at 8:51 AM on April 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


I wholeheartedly reject the notion that buying both giraffes would just be hoarding! How else are they supposed to be friends and have adventures? but possibly this is because i grew up with a father who used to make our neighbors' lawn creatures reenact movie scenes
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:28 AM on April 24, 2015 [5 favorites]


We are getting a new house. Our first house. God, it needs a giant metal animal.
posted by St. Hubbins at 9:38 AM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


Is it bad that I thought about how my high ceiling would easily accommodate the giraffe(s)? Maybe I should get out more.
posted by annsunny at 9:50 AM on April 24, 2015 [2 favorites]


I too would own this giraffe, and its little brother, and I would put them in the acre where people could just see their heads peering over the fence, as though giraffes were gracefully grazing their way through rural Texas on their way to somewhere more interesting.
posted by dejah420 at 10:29 AM on April 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


Manic pixie dream girl is married now and likes to buy things? I guess?

I'm guessing you're not a regular reader of her blog (or any of the other places where her writing has/does appear)? She is so very much not in the MPDG category. Admittedly, her humour might not be for everyone - like anything else - but she is certainly one of the most authentic seeming popular bloggers out there. I don't know her personally, and I assume there's some editing and a few topics that are off-limits, but she seems so very human and real.

Over the years she has written very candidly about her mental and physical illnesses - and, as a result, has encouraged an enormous community of people to do the same. Self-harm, anxiety, depression, OCD.. Whether she means to do so, or not, she has raised a huge amount of awareness and helped decrease stigma around mental illness in particular. She has used her powers for good and helped to raise funds for a variety of charities (homeless children, for example). Her comment section is mindblowing at times with people who are talking, openly, about their struggles.

Jenny has talked about her family of origin, parenting, work.. real things. And yes, interspersed amongst those more serious topics she has created hilarious t-shirts to sell online, blogged about the dollhouse she spent a decade creating, and written about the giant metal chicken. To me, her writing is just so human - some bleak, dark stormy times that are broken up by the light and hilariousness of Geraldo the Giraffe.
posted by VioletU at 4:45 PM on April 24, 2015 [5 favorites]


The giraffe is obviously named Clarence, not Geraldo.
posted by Splunge at 12:46 PM on April 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


I fucking NEED This GIANT METAL GIRAFFE NOW NOW NOW!!!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 5:55 PM on April 25, 2015


I would name the giraffe "Raffles," since his supeerior peering skills make him the ideal gentleman burglar.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:59 AM on April 29, 2015


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