Mike Tyson Can Box There: Why is Washington D.C. so pathetic?

February 20, 2002 9:03 PM

Mike Tyson Can Box There: Why is Washington D.C. so pathetic? Beyond belief. Put the place on the map?
posted by ParisParamus (28 comments total)

I heard someone on ESPN today saying they believed the fight would generate over a hundred million dollars for the local economy, which is total bullshit. That is, unless that's Tyson's share of the purse and he rapes another woman while he's there and has to pay it to her as restitution.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 9:18 PM on February 20, 2002

Well, you can't deny that it's incredibly convenient.

Seriously, though, I'm a resident of Washington, DC, and I think the decision stinks, but the article's correct: it will be a popular decision here. Money and politics trump ethics and taste.
posted by coelecanth at 9:18 PM on February 20, 2002

Also a resident, and also am not happy about Tyson coming here. That said, I'm not going to thumb my nose at anything that will bring money to this red-headed stepchild of a town.
Also; pathetic? OK, so we're not NYC, but we're a great city in many other ways - and we get either crapped on or ignored constantly. Give DC a frickin' break.
posted by GriffX at 9:51 PM on February 20, 2002

I can't believe Lewis still wants to fight Tyson. I'd be afraid of getting bitten again, or sexually assaulted.
posted by RylandDotNet at 10:10 PM on February 20, 2002

Whats really sad is Las Vegas has higher morals than DC. I guess LV doens't NEED the media mess of tyson's coming and DC wants the tourist bucks, pure and simple.
posted by Dome-O-Rama at 11:38 PM on February 20, 2002

Principle vs means to an end.
posted by aaronshaf at 11:45 PM on February 20, 2002

You expect ethics from a business in which the goal is to punch the other guy until he's unconscious? Either ban boxing from DC or let Tyson and everyone else punch each other for money there.
posted by pracowity at 12:01 AM on February 21, 2002

You expect ethics from a business in which the goal is to punch the other guy until he's unconscious? Hehe funny quote.
posted by aaronshaf at 1:42 AM on February 21, 2002

Give DC a frickin' break.

Personally, I'm still hung up on the re-election of the crackhead as mayor. This decision just reinforces my opinion that DC needs to be absorbed into Maryland and Virginia and finally dealt with once and for all.

However, if this fight does bring an influx of tourist dollars into DC (shyeah, right) then I hope that some of them are channeled into rehabilitation of whatever they call the area surrounding Rt. 50/New York Avenue when you first pass into the district from MD. Scary, scary place to be, especially after dark.
posted by Dreama at 2:23 AM on February 21, 2002

This decision is stupid.
The fact that DC does not have statehood, is stupid.
posted by owillis at 3:06 AM on February 21, 2002

So, owillis, the Constitution is stupid? Hmm...

And Dreama, if it was reabsorbed, it would only only go to Maryland, and guess how much Maryland wants it back?

Some day I'll tell you guys about pulling onsite support duty in every precinct building for the MPD (DC cops). Believe me, they don't save police stations for only the fun parts of town.
posted by NortonDC at 3:44 AM on February 21, 2002

Damn, owillis, I just saw your post in the Alabama thread. So the Constitution is the end-all-be-all for that, but not this?
posted by NortonDC at 3:54 AM on February 21, 2002

Any city that allows crackhead Marion Barry to "rejuvinate" his political career, not once, but twice can't be relied on to make the ethical decision regarding Mike Tyson.
posted by Lanternjmk at 5:49 AM on February 21, 2002

Mayor Williams is in a double-bind. If he allows the Tyson fight to take place in DC, he'll be accused of giving up the "moral high ground." But if he turns away the fight, he'll be accused of passing up an opportunity to revive the local economy.

Frankly, Williams can afford to lose some ethical cred. But he cannot afford to pass up an opportunity to revive the local economy.

As a DC resident, I think the mayor is trying to achieve the greatest good for the greatest number of people. That said, I'm staying far the fuck away from the MCI Center on the night of the fight.
posted by ratbastard at 6:36 AM on February 21, 2002

Repeat after me: there IS no morality. There ARE no ethics. Right/wrong analyses are not profitable. There is only more money/less money.
posted by rushmc at 6:47 AM on February 21, 2002

Well, considering that DC is now giving haven to known ear-biting, women-raping terrorists, maybe it should be considered another spoke in the Axis of Evil (TM).
posted by adampsyche at 7:03 AM on February 21, 2002

OK, yeah, so Tyson is an animal and a thug and a not-good-person. But when did we start requiring our professional athletes to be fine, upstanding citizens? Seems to me a certain Baltimore Raven was allowed to play in last year's Super Bowl even though he had been accused of a double-murder.... where was the outrage there? Many professional athletes are complete and total scumbags -- this is not news. Why single out Tyson? If he's not in jail and he meets the physical requirements of his sport, why should he not be allowed to participate in it? For the notoriously shady sport of boxing to suddenly espouse a higher set of moral guidelines than any other professional sport strikes me as a bit silly and ironic, not to mention unfair.
posted by spilon at 7:33 AM on February 21, 2002

This decision just reinforces my opinion that DC needs to be absorbed into Maryland and Virginia and finally dealt with once and for all.

Can Montgomery County get NW and leave the rest to PG County? Please?

ducks
posted by whuppy at 8:13 AM on February 21, 2002

Seriously, though, as NortonDC implied above, the vast majority of District of Columbia is about as desirable as East Berlin. Montgomery County might like to cherry-pick territory down to Georgetown, but that's about it.
posted by whuppy at 8:19 AM on February 21, 2002

Damn, owillis, I just saw your post in the Alabama thread. So the Constitution is the end-all-be-all for that, but not this?

Something can be legal (i.e., constitutional) and still be wrong. Taxation without representation was a major reason that this country was founded. Citizens of D.C. do pay federal income taxes, but they don't have a voice in congress. For that matter, they have very limited rights of self-determination, since congress has to approve much of what the local government enacts and shows no reticence about countermanding local government. Furthermore, they have no ability to raise revenue from the many thousands of people who work in DC and use their resources but who live in Virginia or Maryland.

Marion Barry's grandstanding noises about running for the city council notwithstanding, his days as mayor are long behind D.C. He's visible, but he's no longer relevant, and Anthony Williams is about as far from Marion Barry as anyone could be. The District has made tremendous strides in reforming the local government and in getting its financial house in order, but you don't see that reported outside of the D.C. Metro area.

I don't like boxing. I think it should be illegal. But if you're going to allow people to try to hurt each other and call it sport, you've lost any sort of moral ground for ethical niceties. Tyson's going to fight somewhere, so why not here? D.C. certainly needs the money.
posted by anapestic at 8:21 AM on February 21, 2002

Another benefit to having the fight in DC is that when Lennox Lewis kicks Tyson's ass, Mike can just limp right back home to Bethesda, MD.
posted by ratbastard at 9:05 AM on February 21, 2002

Oh, and Paris, maybe you can enlighten me. What is it with you New Yawkers that make hate DC so much? I will never understand that. Are you guys just bitter that a city with a population of a mere half-million is the seat of government instead of New York?

I was at a party a few weeks ago, and some guy from Brooklyn was actually scoffing at DC because we lost "only a couple hundred people" during the September 11 attacks. Now what kind of sick, demented loser do you have to be that you're actually keeping score on how many people got killed?

I'm not saying you're responsible for that idiot's comments, or that you even think the way he does. I'm just trying to understand.
posted by ratbastard at 9:16 AM on February 21, 2002

Like anapestic said, something can be stupid and legal simulataneously. Hence, amendments.
posted by owillis at 9:19 AM on February 21, 2002

Former boxer, current boxing fan. The strangeness that attaches to the heavyweight class (especially the last few years) greatly overshadows the quality efforts and dedication to the sport in the lower weight classes.

Unbalanced is a kind term for Tyson. That said, more power to DC for letting him fight and realizing the economic stimulus with that. Assuming of course that the guy's not in jail before the scheduled match date.

Personally, I plan on being one of the suckers who'll pony up sixty bucks on pay-per-view, if only to see him come unhinged on live television.
posted by ebarker at 10:35 AM on February 21, 2002

I agree that it's unfair for DC residents to pay federal taxes and not have a vote in Congress. However, I don't think DC should be a state because the land that makes up the District was was taken from Maryland and Virginia in 1790 expressly so that a single state wouldn't have control over the seat of government. Arlington County, Virginia, was part of the original District, and was remanded to Virginia in 1846. Because of that precendent, the parts of the District that aren't being used by the government should go back to Maryland.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:36 PM on February 21, 2002

OK, a few things...

First, anapestic, DC residents do have a voice in congress, Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton (cough). That voice, however, lacks a vote.

Second, the taxation without representation argument cuts both ways. The DC residents complain that they are taxed by a government they can't vote for (though they do receive government services payed for by their taxes), yet people wishing to tax commuters are trying to have the commuters taxed by a government they couldn't vote for (though they would use government services payed for by those taxes). Hmm, rrright...

Third, if "the Constitution sez so" isn't good enough here, then it isn't good enough in the Alabama thread. There is room to wiggle, though, as legislators are empowered to begin the process of changing the Constitution, while the judiciary is limited to interpretting it.

Fourth, statehood for DC is simply not going to happen. It would require a constitutional amendment, and there is simply no way in Hell two thirds of the nation's governors are going to back that. The Alabama thread comes to mind again...
posted by NortonDC at 4:32 PM on February 21, 2002

What anapestic said.

DC residents pay all the same taxes, but they have to put up with representatives from other states telling them what they can and can't do. Why the f&#@ should Bob Barr of Georgia be able to tell the residents of DC that they can't even *COUNT* the votes to determine if the residents voted for medicinal marijuana. Or that they have to spend $400k on new signs to make sure their beloved Ronnie Raygun gets his props (and then some) with the renaming of National Airport. And these are just two example.

Plus the Federal government has so much of the land in DC that there is very little left over that can generate money in the form of taxes.

Of course, our President (and his party) don't want DC to gain a voting voice in Congress and the Senate because they know it will add 1 more Democrats to the House and 2 to the Senate.

Of course, if MD absorbs the District there will be little to no gain at all in Congress because MD (and the counties that surround DC to the north) are very heavily liberal.

And when the Constitution was written the "federal city" wasn't expected to have any residences. They expected it would be where federal employees worked. They didn't anticipate it would become what it is. And it certainly is no excuse for disenfranchising 500k people.
posted by terrapin at 10:55 AM on February 22, 2002

terrapin - And when the Constitution was written the "federal city" wasn't expected to have any residences.

Bullshit! Or, more properly "Horsehit!" How far away were people supposed to live from their work when commuting meant walking or horse and buggy? What, people were supposed to take their horse and buggy on a boat ride every day?
posted by NortonDC at 11:25 AM on February 22, 2002