Jetpacks

May 11, 2015 7:45 PM

Fine then. Here are your damn Jetpacks.
posted by dhruva (73 comments total)

Fine, 21st century. I withdraw my complaint.
posted by figurant at 7:49 PM on May 11, 2015 [5 favorites]

Finally, my damn jetpacks!
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 7:50 PM on May 11, 2015

And now I'm wondering if you could attach a small disposable rocket stage to let one of those take off from the ground.
posted by figurant at 7:50 PM on May 11, 2015

Is this one continuous 10 minute long flight? Or is this video actually stitched together from multiple flights, with time in between to refuel the jets?
posted by rustcrumb at 7:55 PM on May 11, 2015

OK, now land vertically.
posted by The Tensor at 7:57 PM on May 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

I had no idea that I needed these in the way I now urgently do. Thanks!
posted by cotton dress sock at 7:58 PM on May 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

I guess I spoke too soon, it's clearly at least two flights. Still, I wonder what the total flight time you get from one of these things. Also they seem to elide the landing process. Seems like you'd want a parachute or something.
posted by rustcrumb at 8:00 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

Yes, I want to know how they land. Also, having been exposed to years of aviation trade magazines, I would like to never again see the visual trope of a young boy (always a boy) playing with a god-damned toy airplane as shorthand for dreams of flight. Fuuuuuuuuuck.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:02 PM on May 11, 2015 [31 favorites]

From what I can tell, this is Yves Rossy. You can see him preflighting and landing in this video (spoilers: parachute).
posted by Hactar at 8:05 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

The landing was unsuccessful and they are all dead.
posted by bhnyc at 8:05 PM on May 11, 2015 [10 favorites]

When they're getting onto the helicopter they show the suit from the back. There's a space in the wings to make room for the guy's backpack, which I have got to assume contains a parachute, because otherwise why would you build the wings with room for a backpack? So, yeah, parachute.
posted by axiom at 8:08 PM on May 11, 2015

To add to my previous comment, you can see the specs for his jetpack here. Looks like he can fly for up to 10 minutes. At up to 186mph. With some training, I could go faster than that in a car (admittedly a car that costs the GDP of a small country, but still). And not be hurtling towards the earth in the process.
posted by Hactar at 8:09 PM on May 11, 2015

I looked up some more videos, apparently they land with a parachute while wearing the jetpack and wings. I had wondered if they detached the jetpack while landing for weight or safety reasons but apparently that is not how it goes.
posted by rustcrumb at 8:11 PM on May 11, 2015

These look straight out of the GI Joe cartoon, so yeah, parachutes--whether their mission is successful or not.
posted by sourwookie at 8:14 PM on May 11, 2015

bhnyc, I hope you're making a sick joke.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 8:18 PM on May 11, 2015

It begiiiins! LALALALA-BADOO!
posted by BiggerJ at 8:20 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

The backpacks are for sky-sammiches!
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 8:25 PM on May 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

I mean once you have this technology how do you not dress up like - and legally change your name to - Ace McCloud, and have a business card that says "Man and Machine - Power Extreme!", and have the Centurions theme playing wherever you go 24/7?

This is probably why I do not get to play with jet packs.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:26 PM on May 11, 2015 [5 favorites]

Hactar: From what I can tell, this is Yves Rossy

Yes it is.
posted by dhruva at 8:29 PM on May 11, 2015

On the Jetman Dubai page, if your screen is big enough, it says Flight time: 6 to 13 minutes

Also says: 200 km/h average speed, 180km/h ascent, 300 km/h on descent, it weighs 55 kg, 2m wingspan, 4 JetCat p200 engines, and it delivers 22 kg of thrust. But in fact it looks like each engine delivers 22kg of trust, so the designer just was looking for numbers to write down and didn't care what they meant maybe.

Apparently that engine uses 24 fl oz per minute at full power. If that 6 minute flight were full power the whole time, that'd be about 30 pounds of fuel. But I wouldn't be surprised if it held less, because full power for 6 minutes seems kind of extra-super insane.
posted by aubilenon at 8:33 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

But will it blend?
posted by pwally at 8:33 PM on May 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

Oh duh. That futurecars page says how much it weighs with and without fuel. The 55kg number is with fuel (and smoke, however heavy that is), dry it's 30 kg.
posted by aubilenon at 8:38 PM on May 11, 2015

Yves Rossy is alive. Perhaps your are thinking of Mark Sutton who died in a horrific wingsuit crash a couple years back. He hit a mountain ridge at high speed. His suit was unpowered, so not technically a jet pack.
posted by humanfont at 8:54 PM on May 11, 2015

Cities in the desert? Built on hydrocarbons that will cook us all?

Look on my jetpacks, ye Mighty, and despair!
posted by gwint at 8:54 PM on May 11, 2015 [7 favorites]

His suit was unpowered, so not technically a jet pack.

whew
posted by cotton dress sock at 8:56 PM on May 11, 2015 [3 favorites]

Yes, I want to know how they land.

You don't. You don't ever get to land. Once you're up you stay up. A KC-135 refuels you every 12 minutes, a KFC-227 ejects nuggets into your face every six hours (so you better get good at catching them), and your poop just slides right down your pants leg and flies out the back.

Protip before strapping on: perfect the art of micronapping at high altitude.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:58 PM on May 11, 2015 [40 favorites]

I was promised a classless utopia with no hunger or war, plus skintight uniforms.
posted by No-sword at 9:03 PM on May 11, 2015 [16 favorites]

See. you all keep mentioning jet packs. Not what it says on the tin. This is not a jetpack.

It is just an ultra-ultra-ultra-ultra-light aircraft. No VTOL at all.

Come on. Mock my dreams as you may, but at least get the SCIENCE! right.
posted by Samizdata at 9:03 PM on May 11, 2015 [10 favorites]

At first I was wondering why Dubai of all places, then I was like, duh, they have logos floating above the desert, it's totally the best place.
posted by univac at 9:06 PM on May 11, 2015 [4 favorites]

bout damn time.
posted by BoscosMom at 9:06 PM on May 11, 2015

We Asked 22 Pilots Where Skydivers Go When They Jump Out Of The Airplane
posted by 7segment at 9:20 PM on May 11, 2015 [9 favorites]

Those pilots are rapidly heading into a zone of danger, almost as if they're on a highway of some kind.
posted by dephlogisticated at 9:31 PM on May 11, 2015 [22 favorites]

dephlogisticated: "Those pilots are rapidly heading into a zone of danger, almost as if they're on a highway of some kind."

Or that they perhaps feel some sort of craving, like the craving for high velocity?
posted by Samizdata at 9:41 PM on May 11, 2015 [7 favorites]

Protip before strapping on: perfect the art of micronapping at high altitude.

But that could take years!
posted by Flashman at 9:42 PM on May 11, 2015

No no no I just want to go to the market.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:45 PM on May 11, 2015

I could not help thinking this was just an open cockpit micro plane. Call it a jetpack if you want, but that was just two cats strapped onto mini rockets. It is really neat and all, but not the jetpacks of my 21st century.
posted by AugustWest at 9:47 PM on May 11, 2015

When I was a kid we didn't have any "jet packs"! We had to make good with a kickboard and a few cans of Raid, and we had fun, by gumb!
posted by not_on_display at 9:49 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

If you watch through the credits to the end, there's a couple seconds of them having obviously landed via parachute.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:52 PM on May 11, 2015

And frivolous hydrocarbons or no, if given the chance to do this, HELL YES I would hesitate not even for a nanosecond!
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:55 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

What you want is anti-gravity repulsers, not thirsty squirters.
posted by mitochondrial midichlorian

What, no suggestions about using the Force instead?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:11 PM on May 11, 2015

Strapping jet engines on pair of wings and gluing a person to the whole contraption is not what we were promised by the term "jetpack".

Jetpacks were supposed to look like external frame backpacks and they were to have enabled people to gently ascend in upright position (as if in an elevator). Jetpack pilots would steer by navigating visible landmarks, further able to orient themselves by hovering.

These things are just people-sized rockets, and the humans are barely able to control them. They are not practical as a form of transportation unless you plan on going to the next version of the X-Games.

Besides all that, the featured devices look to be nothing but Extreme-Sports™ versions of a flying carbon footprint machine.

FAIL
posted by mistersquid at 10:13 PM on May 11, 2015 [5 favorites]

And yet this is a decent solution to the obvious butt-on-fire problem of a backpack-style jetpack.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:29 PM on May 11, 2015 [3 favorites]

Strapping jet engines on pair of wings and gluing a person to the whole contraption is not what we were promised by the term "jetpack". ... FAIL

EVERYTHING IS AMAZING AND NOBODY IS HAPPY.
posted by SpacemanStix at 10:35 PM on May 11, 2015 [7 favorites]

These guys are ready for Shark Tank.
If you read the credits there are "CG Artists" so I'm wondering how much of this was Real Real as opposed to augmented reality.
posted by spock at 10:38 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

This is of my favorite threads in a while. Yall are hilarious. :-) (also I agree: those aren't jetpacks)
posted by barnacles at 10:44 PM on May 11, 2015

Yeah I definitely want to see them riding a skateboard to takeoff speed from the ground... maybe land back on it, title the video "Sickest Ollie Ever"
posted by jake at 11:25 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

These things are just people-sized rockets, and the humans are barely able to control them. They are not practical as a form of transportation unless you plan on going to the next version of the X-Games.

FAIL

Erm, I'm sorry, you seem to have misspelled "WIN".

This message brought to you by RED BULL.
RED BULL gives you wings.
posted by fragmede at 11:52 PM on May 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

Late to the game, but these things have been around, and used for years now. No ground to air takeoff. Requires a parachute to touch back down. Just big toys. Not jetpacks at all. Flying wing with a rocket engine.
posted by apiaryist at 12:28 AM on May 12, 2015

Yes, Yves has been doing this for 11 years. It is good to see he has a young protege now. They fly beautifully together.
posted by eye of newt at 1:21 AM on May 12, 2015

I was promised a classless utopia with no hunger or war, plus skintight uniforms.

with glowing lines on them, Tron-style. don't forget the lines
posted by NoraReed at 1:22 AM on May 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

This will end well
posted by mmoncur at 2:17 AM on May 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

How much fun will it be if you get one or two engines out on one side? You know, the sort of thing where in an ordinary aircraft you apply a bootful of rudder to keep the pointy bit where it should be for long enough to matter?

I'm thinking Gloster Meatbox, and why they stopped practising engine-out takeoffs...
posted by Devonian at 2:38 AM on May 12, 2015

Yeah, but this is from Dubai... Dubai's claim to fame is a higher ratio of money to sense... Commercially available and commercially viable are two totally different things..
posted by Nanukthedog at 3:30 AM on May 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

OK, so where Dubai one?
posted by spitbull at 3:42 AM on May 12, 2015 [6 favorites]

Oman that's a tough one.
posted by Dr Dracator at 3:47 AM on May 12, 2015 [5 favorites]

> No no no I just want to go to the market.

I need to clean my gutters and annoy some squirrels.
posted by jfuller at 4:01 AM on May 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

The 55kg number is with fuel (and smoke, however heavy that is), dry it's 30 kg.

So, neglecting the smoke cannisters, that's 25kg of fuel or roughly 50kg of CO2 emissions per ride. Compare this to a daily commute of say 20 miles to work or 32 km in a car which produces 5.76 kg which over a year would be 1.4 tonnes of CO2.

But then again considering that the average U.S. resident adds 17.6 metric tons of CO2 per year (17600 kg), I guess this is nitpicking. Jetpacks for everyone!
posted by three blind mice at 4:29 AM on May 12, 2015

OTOH residents of the UAE produce on average 19.9 metric tons of CO2 per year so maybe no jetpacks for them.
posted by three blind mice at 4:32 AM on May 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

Saudis in the store last week.
posted by spitbull at 5:02 AM on May 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

A guy asked me if I wanted a Riyadh. I said Yemen.
posted by spitbull at 5:03 AM on May 12, 2015 [5 favorites]

Well, damn. I'm glad the kids will get to have this. I'll just stick to my lucid dreams and die in my sleep and then get to wake up the next morning.
posted by h00py at 5:07 AM on May 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

Oh, reality, thou art cruel.

They had an IPO recently.
posted by Mezentian at 5:29 AM on May 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

want want want want want want want want want want want want want
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 6:34 AM on May 12, 2015

Time to find some replacements for a few items on that threadless shirt:

they lied to us
this was supposed to be the future
where is my jetpack,
where is my robotic companion,
where is my dinner in pill form,
where is my hydrogen fueled automobile,
where is my nuclear-powered levitating home,
where is my cure for this disease*

*OK, that last one was a stretch. I couldn't think of a way to encapsulate the idea of optimism for the future-now.
posted by filthy light thief at 7:22 AM on May 12, 2015

I was promised a classless utopia with no hunger or war, plus skintight uniforms.

The ever-growing ubiquity of skinny jeans/leggings as pants/jeggings/cordureggings AND the resurrection of rompers/jumpsuits makes me suspect we are actually on a fashion path headed for skintight jumpsuits. Don't know when the glowing lines start getting trendy, maybe around 2017.
posted by yarrow at 7:55 AM on May 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

The amount of cynicism in thread means we surely live in a dystopian future.
posted by mysticreferee at 8:01 AM on May 12, 2015

I mean, the music in the video was good, but they missed the opportunity to have a We Were Promised Jetpacks soundtrack.... Synergies, people!!
posted by resurrexit at 8:14 AM on May 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

When's the scale up?
posted by Halogenhat at 8:44 AM on May 12, 2015

Do not want to see the consequences of the first bird strike flying this way.
posted by C.A.S. at 9:31 AM on May 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

It's another of those videos where it would actually be more interesting if they didn't heavily edit it, put it to music, add computer graphics, etc. I've become resistant and surly whenever it looks like a video is trying to sell me something.
posted by JHarris at 10:03 AM on May 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

Where is my hoverboard?

GET ON IT SCIENCE
posted by ostranenie at 1:04 PM on May 12, 2015

> Where is my hoverboard?

They're keeping them in the lab until they work on water.
posted by jfuller at 2:23 PM on May 12, 2015

It's another of those videos where it would actually be more interesting if they didn't heavily edit it, put it to music, add computer graphics, etc. I've become resistant and surly whenever it looks like a video is trying to sell me something.

It also makes me second guess whether it's real or not until it's vetted through another source.
posted by SpacemanStix at 2:45 PM on May 12, 2015