A tribute not structured as a Top 10 List

May 13, 2015 4:53 PM

David Letterman's coming retirement after 6,000 episodes has prompted a look back at some of his best bits, including many of his writers reflecting on the greatest jokes that never made it on air (with comments from David himself). Splitsider has a year-by-year video breakdown of the best material (including John Malkovitch at his creepiest and an amazing bit with Elaine Stritch). The New York Times weighs in with their favorites, while Rolling Stone lists his favorite guests, tensest interviews, best musical numbers (some are very good!), and asks if the famously grumpy Letterman is happy at last.
posted by blahblahblah (69 comments total)

God bless you, George Meyer.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:07 PM on May 13, 2015

That Elaine Stritch bit is one of the all time great Letterman sequences. She is just amazing.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:10 PM on May 13, 2015 [4 favorites]

By the way - did you intend to link to this Splitsider article?
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:21 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

I would pay good money to see this:

STEPHEN SHERRILL (1995–1996; The New Yorker)

It’s not really a rejected bit, but it’s one that never made air. Rodney Rothman, Bob Borden, and I were in New Hampshire for the 1996 Republican primary. One idea was to dump a bunch of Gatorade on a supporter of the winner. So we find a supporter outside Buchanan headquarters, where a celebration is going on. He agrees — we’ll do it when he’s leaving the party, and we’ll buy him a new suit. A few hours later he comes out, having had a few drinks. He says, great, let’s do it. So Bob dumps the Gatorade on him. For about 30 seconds, the guy is silent. Then he begins steaming — literally — because it’s really cold outside. It’s unclear how this was different than what he’d envisioned, but he’s getting very angry. So Rodney reminds him that we’ll buy him a new suit, and the guy shouts, “You Jews — it’s always money!” Then our camera man looks up and the guy calls him a “guinea.” Now he’s starting to attract the attention of nervous campaign staffers. As they hustle him away, he yells back at us that Whitey Bulger is a friend of his and he’s going to have Whitey take care of us. None of us know who Whitey Bulger is, but we AltaVista him later.

Back in New York, we show the footage to Dave. It’s funny, Dave says, but too weird. The footage goes to the lawyers instead.
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:28 PM on May 13, 2015 [19 favorites]

I chuckled for days at "All Week Long William F. Buckley Rates the Mustard." FOR DAYS.
posted by eugenen at 5:34 PM on May 13, 2015 [5 favorites]

I went straight for the best musical numbers link and then smoked my brakes hards at the Sonny & Cher clip because there is a 700 page potboiler of a airport novel in the facial expressions and body language they give each other, just leaving aside Cher's entire magnificent rig out and hair.

I've got a ton of thoughts and affectionate things to say about Dave, but I'm just going to marinate in the music clips (including that last one of Future Islands) for a little bit, thanks Blahblahblah.
posted by Divine_Wino at 5:39 PM on May 13, 2015 [2 favorites]

IMO. nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever top the theft of Letterman's truck, and the dramatic, shenanigan-filled trial that followed. (previously)

Yes, I know this wasn't on Letterman's show, but that whole escapade just kills me every time I watch it.
posted by magstheaxe at 5:47 PM on May 13, 2015 [6 favorites]

They didn't make that "tensest" list, but the various installments of Crispin Glover "on acid" still seem like pretty wild television.
posted by batfish at 5:54 PM on May 13, 2015 [2 favorites]

I haven't watched regularly in 20 years probably, but I've been watching the last week or so. I'm sorry I missed the first part of the victory lap. It wasn't really promoted properly I think.

The other night with Stern and Rickles was pretty good television. I also laughed pretty hard when Cher showed up.

I watched the Ray Romano hosted retrospective special last week. I wasn't really surprised that the "I'm not wearing pants" bullhorn bit that I always kind of thought of as the inspiration for the Worldwide Pants name wasn't included. Still, it seems like such a foundational event in Letterman's career that it seemed weird to completely ignore it.

I'll miss the Dave and the show from my teenage years, and from before Johnny retired.
posted by ob1quixote at 6:02 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

God bless you, George Meyer.
No kidding, he must be one of the funniest writers alive. Even "jammed the poor fish on them in a preposterous simulation of life" is kind of hilarious.
But this is curious:
I think George was responsible for maybe the single most brilliant idea on the show ever. It was a contest between a humidifier and a dehumidifier.
Stephen Wright had a joke just like that: "I bought a humidifier and a dehumidifier.[long pause] I put em in the same room and let em fight it out."
I wonder who came up with it first?
posted by Flashman at 6:02 PM on May 13, 2015 [6 favorites]

I can't get the Malkovitch link to work and would like to see it.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 6:06 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

I heartily approve of including the Paris Hilton interview in the "tensest" selections. I quite honestly quote with attribution his reply to her at about 4:23 in the clip at *least* several times a year (and did so just last week), possibly because it is so beautifully applicable and just slides right in so smoothly to refocus a conversation deflector.
posted by janey47 at 6:10 PM on May 13, 2015

Oops - I MeMailed the Mods, but the Splitsider link should go here and the Malkovitch link here
posted by blahblahblah at 6:11 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

currently enjoying this tete-a-tete with bill o'reilly
oh wait
it's just giving me 2006 flashbacks
posted by entropone at 6:11 PM on May 13, 2015

Mr. Yuck. Change ".cm" to ".com" in the Malkovitch link. (Mods: fix broken link?) should be this. Doh! Beaten by blahblahblah
posted by ecco at 6:13 PM on May 13, 2015

There are so many memorable bits from the Letterman show. Two of my favorites:

- Letterman and crew go out to a "Just Shades" shop (for lampshades) in NYC and interview the owner. They eventually ask for bulbs, and the owner says no, no bulbs in this shop - it's just shades. "Where would I go for lightbulbs then?" Letterman asks. Next shot: a store front that says, "Just Bulbs".

I think it went on that way for a few more shops - it highlighted the bizarre specialty shops in NYC, which seemed a foreign country to this California suburbanite.

- Letterman works at a Burger King drive-through window. I don't know if it's because of the proximity to my own (first job) at Burger King, but I remember laughing so hard to that skit. (He basically just fucked around with people via the intercom thing, but it was hilarious - he did the stuff you wanted to do but would get fired for doing).

"Bananas!"
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 6:17 PM on May 13, 2015 [6 favorites]

Does it mark me as really old that I remember the "the CHAIR is not my son" bit?
posted by janey47 at 6:27 PM on May 13, 2015 [5 favorites]

Thanks ecco. I knew I would laugh.

This seems less powerful than it did at the time, but it was exactly what frightened people needed to see that night.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 6:35 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

Would you like to buy a monkey?
posted by gideonswann at 6:51 PM on May 13, 2015 [4 favorites]

Stephen Wright had a joke just like that

Aw dang, it was the dehumidifier/humidifier joke that had me laughing like a crazy person for 5 minutes. I hope it was just a case of great minds.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:53 PM on May 13, 2015

Fuckin' Rickles man, he's a melted crayon and he's still blasting everyone "I took a guess you're Jewish..." to Stern.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:07 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

Would you like to buy a monkey?

Dave Letterman performed in exactly one role as a character that wasn't Dave Letterman, and it was for Chris Elliot and Adam Resnick. One of the many reasons why Cabin Boy keeps being rediscovered as a really funny movie every five to ten years. Some of the brightest minds writing late night talk show jokes got together, and made a pirate fantasy.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:08 PM on May 13, 2015 [2 favorites]

How you can have a "top Letterman musical moments" list that doesn't include Tony Randall and Mandy Patinkin storming the set (six times!)? I mean, I know it's not the actual musical set at the end of the episode but COME ON.
posted by chrominance at 7:33 PM on May 13, 2015 [5 favorites]

Pitchfork also has a great lineup of Letterman performances past, including Joan Jett doing Modern Lovers and early Talking Heads.
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:46 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

I enjoyed both players in the Harmony Korine interview.
posted by not_that_epiphanius at 7:48 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

chrominance, of course, Mandy in a duffel coat and New Balances belting like it's the end of the world and Randall is cool guy jazz snapping all the time, impossibly even more deadpan as Patink's chews up all the scenery. Yay! Yaayyyy! Yaaaaaaayyyyy!
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:03 PM on May 13, 2015

I hope it was just a case of great minds.

I hope so too, and now it does seem to be Meyer who first came up with the idea. According to a Vulture comment, Letterman did the humidifier bit in 1983 while Stephen Wright's joke didn't debut until 1985.
posted by Flashman at 8:04 PM on May 13, 2015

All these retrospectives and still nobody’s asked the real question.

Are those your drums?
posted by reluctant early bird at 8:06 PM on May 13, 2015 [3 favorites]

wemayfreeze: “Pitchfork also has a great lineup of Letterman performances past, including Joan Jett doing Modern Lovers and early Talking Heads.”

Oh, wow. I don't think I've ever seen that Sammy gig. At the end he says to Paul, "No rehersals. It's better. See, I told you, man."
posted by ob1quixote at 8:06 PM on May 13, 2015 [3 favorites]

The one that completely baked my noodle was when they slowly rotated the whole screen 360 degrees during the show. Watching a serious interview with Peter Ustinov while approaching 180 degrees was just so weird.
posted by brappi at 8:13 PM on May 13, 2015 [6 favorites]

Oh, damn, beaten to it by wemayfreeze.

Also well worth watching is TV on the Radio absolutely killing “Wolf Like Me” on the Late Show.
posted by reluctant early bird at 8:16 PM on May 13, 2015 [5 favorites]

I liked the rotating show, but my memories are also permanently warped by his custom made shows.
posted by fungible at 8:26 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

Around 1993, my sister was a project lead for Sony in the design of Letterman's CBS broadcast studio. As such, she got to know Dave and Paul, and ate PB&Js at Dave's desk... which was promptly vandalized by Bill Murray.
posted by markkraft at 8:38 PM on May 13, 2015

Letterman always seemed so delighted by Marshall Crenshaw
posted by Public Corruption? at 8:45 PM on May 13, 2015

I've definitely got a soft spot for Letterman and I've been digging into clips for the last few weeks.

Carson on Letterman, 1985, part 1 and part 2 is great. There's a real fondness there (on both sides) that is quite lovely to see.

Harmony Korine is great all three times.

Letterman was also on the last Jon Stewart show in 1995, which is worth a watch, especially of course as both are now ending their runs.
posted by wemayfreeze at 8:47 PM on May 13, 2015 [6 favorites]

"The actor singer is DEAD!!!"
posted by Mr.Me at 8:55 PM on May 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

- Letterman works at a Burger King drive-through window. I don't know if it's because of the proximity to my own (first job) at Burger King, but I remember laughing so hard to that skit. (He basically just fucked around with people via the intercom thing, but it was hilarious - he did the stuff you wanted to do but would get fired for doing).

I think it was McDonalds but yeah it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. God Bless david letterman. He is indeed an Asshole.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:05 PM on May 13, 2015

My favorite moment that I recall was Martin Amis insulting Letterman. Actually, I don't really like Letterman.
posted by ovvl at 9:19 PM on May 13, 2015

I've mentioned this here before, but my favorite Letterman moment is during an interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger from 1987: Schwarzenegger tells Dave what his last name means in German and after a few false starts, Dave asks the obvious follow-up question.

Jack Hanna was always one of my favorite guests. Animal antics aside they have such a great rapport, almost like an old married couple.

And speaking of fast food, here's Dave and Zsa Zsa on a fast-food crawl.


posted by Room 641-A at 9:25 PM on May 13, 2015 [2 favorites]

brappi: “The one that completely baked my noodle was when they slowly rotated the whole screen 360 degrees during the show. Watching a serious interview with Peter Ustinov while approaching 180 degrees was just so weird.”

Thanks for this. Another classic I must have missed. Ustiov coming out and completely playing along with the tilted image might be one of the best talk show moments ever shown on television. Also, why oh why did people ever go on the Letterman show to try hawk anything. "You haven't sold a one of these, have you?"
posted by ob1quixote at 9:44 PM on May 13, 2015

Actually, I don't really like Letterman.

He peaked in '78.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:45 PM on May 13, 2015 [3 favorites]

I loved his earlier weirdness, like when he would crush things with a steamroller or drop stuff off a five story tower or crush things with an 80 ton hydraulic press because, well...who doesn't want to watch stuff like that?
posted by Quasimike at 12:27 AM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

The list of tensest videos missed the time Jean-Claude Van Damme was on the show.

Van Damme wanted to give his life story about how martial arts rescued him from a life of misery or some such thing. David Letterman apparently decided that his audience would be bored to tears with this story, so he kept interrupting him and doing everything he could to distract from the story. Van Damme got madder and madder. Finally he just gave David Letterman a long cold icy stare. Letterman turned to the audience and said, nervously, "I think he's going to hit me!" And it looked like he really was about to hit him.
posted by eye of newt at 12:38 AM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

I wonder what became of Dick Assman.
posted by ambient2 at 3:29 AM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

I always hated the sexism, sometimes Dave leered atrociously at young women, I remember being embarrassed for him sometimes. But he usually seemed appalled at his bad behavior, too in love with the laughter to control himself.

I love that he developed his political sensibility and gave it free rein the last some years.

He's one of the smartest and most honest people on tv. Network tv at that. 11:35 will be much lonelier.
posted by theora55 at 7:56 AM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

Haven't read all the links here yet, but the Farrah Fawcett interview should be under tense. Or awkward or something.
posted by Melismata at 8:26 AM on May 14, 2015

Remember when he did a week of shows from London, and once per episode all week long, Dave would earnestly introduce another megastar:

"I am humbled and honored to welcome, Queen Elizabeth the Second..."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Beatles!"

The camera would pan to the stage, and in plain white text at the bottom of the screen it would say "Queen Elizabeth II" or "The Beatles" or whatever.

And out walks Larry Bud Melman.
posted by General Tonic at 11:11 AM on May 14, 2015 [2 favorites]

I always thought Harmony Korine came out looking better in those interviews.
posted by jcruelty at 2:54 PM on May 14, 2015

Here's the deal: Dave actually watched Gummo and got it. He's the malicious straight man, Dean to Harmony's Jerry - but he's conversant in the film, and understands who he's interviewing.

Harvey Pekar as well... Dave's a weird dude, but he really, really gets kayfabe. Unfortunately Harvey wasn't as clued in, but Dave sold a shit-ton of American Splendor trade paperbacks, even to people who'd never pick up a comic book otherwise.

Which is the dichotomy of Dave - a complete asshole, but too shy/weird/sadistic to let you in on that being the joke. Even if you're the audience. You're cheering for Dave's zingers, even as he's letting you know you shouldn't.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:59 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]

George Clooney was on the show last night. He came out said hello to Dave, milked the audience for applause a little, and sat down. He somehow convinced Dave to take his hand, then slapped an until-then-concealed handcuff onto him. He pulled the keys out of his pocket with his free hand and threw them into the audience. He stayed locked to Dave for the rest of the show. Including during the interview with Tom Waits, which was one of the funniest things I've seen on TV in a while.

So tonight, it's time for Dave to do the "run across the stage before being introduced" bit he apparently does every night for no reason I can understand. Clooney's still handcuffed to him. The scrim curtain comes up and Dave and George come out. As, the crowd goes crazy, they wave and say hello. Then the move over to the desk, and Paul comes over with bolt cutters to cut them apart and it takes forever. I laughed so hard I cried.
posted by ob1quixote at 11:08 PM on May 15, 2015

I wonder what became of Dick Assman.

I think of that bit quite often here in Germany whenever I see the name Assmann on a doorbell or sign.
posted by chillmost at 4:36 PM on May 16, 2015

Bill Murray ended his Late Night run last night in epic fashion. Fallon will never have anything close to this.
posted by Ber at 11:09 AM on May 20, 2015 [3 favorites]

A nice tribute: David Letterman taught us to ward off celebrity stupidity. But stupidity won.

A not-so-nice story: Stephanie Birkitt has been written out of Letterman’s ‘Late Show’ history, and it’s a damned shame

And for those of you who, like me, didn't know why Tony Mendez is no longer the cue card guy: Tony the angry cue-card guy and other Letterman staffers: When the joke is real
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:27 PM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

“Letterman’s Last Great Moment,” Bill Simmons, Grantland, 08 April 2014
posted by ob1quixote at 3:02 PM on May 20, 2015

Keith Olbermann: A Letterman Appreciation – You Know Him, You Love Him, You Can’t Live Without Him
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:33 PM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

So long, David Letterman
Late Night Nostalgia
Punk Rock Comedy In A Late-Night Suit - "In praise of David Letterman, the preeminent establishment-backed comedy revolutionary, on the day of his final show."
posted by the man of twists and turns at 8:00 PM on May 20, 2015

Fallon will never have anything close to this.

No one will ever have anything close to this. Not just because Dave was a true innovator but because I don't think the genre of late-nite TV will be around long enough for anyone else to have enough time to leave the same kind of legacy.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:58 PM on May 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

At least for now, you can watch the last show here.
posted by theora55 at 9:45 AM on May 21, 2015

I'm not very young. I remember when Johnny Carson routinely had authors on, usually as the 3rd guest, but, still, writers. Dick Cavett was a genuine intellectual, also funny and snarky, and it was really a talk show. And he had a really wide variety of guests. Letterman less so, and more focus on celebrities, and Letterman is really a comedian at heart, which I have loved. . Now the late shows are all gags and celebrities. I miss talk shows at night. There's plenty of talk, but most of it is pure crap. The View sometimes has real talk, occasionally a morning show will let some slip in, and thankfully Charlie Rose is on CBS. I wish there was more better talk. Okay, geezer moment ended.
posted by theora55 at 9:51 AM on May 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

“David Letterman's Final Thank You and Good Night”—Late Show with David Letterman, 21 May 2015

“David Letterman Highlights featuring Foo Fighters performing ‘Everlong’”—Ibid.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:25 PM on May 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

I meant to add that the best thing about the ending is that it left you smiling rather than crying.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:27 PM on May 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

Dumpster-diving for David Letterman’s Late Show set
posted by Room 641-A at 4:45 PM on May 21, 2015

The Longform Guide to David Letterman
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:52 PM on May 21, 2015

Just FYI -- I heard from a former WWP bird that CBS will be taking down the Letterman content from the Late Show site by June 10 (not surprising, given that Colbert has started building his CBS web presence this week).
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 2:27 AM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

potsmokinghippieoverlord: “Just FYI -- I heard from a former WWP bird that CBS will be taking down the Letterman content from the Late Show site by June 10 (not surprising, given that Colbert has started building his CBS web presence this week).”

Sigh. Youtube would keep hosting it for free for the foreseeable future. Hell, they'd even help monetize it. All taking it down is going to do is make CBS play whack-a-mole with the videos people will upload just so they can link to their favorite moments.
posted by ob1quixote at 12:41 PM on June 5, 2015

Yeah, it's been 10 years since NBC tried to whack-a-mole the Lazy Sunday digital short from SNL. If I was Les Moonves I'd personally fire whoever authorized that decision. I mean, does that person even Internet?
posted by Room 641-A at 1:54 PM on June 5, 2015

It's a bit more complicated -- Letterman owns the Late Show with DL (and 1980 morning show) and apparently is "out of business" with CBS as of May 20 (one reason why we're seeing the return of "Crimetime After Primetime" at 11:35 instead of Late Show reruns).

WWP now has a licensing site up, but it is specifically for advertisers and other industry types, and not for fans or casual viewers -- you have to become an approved user to view clips.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:14 PM on June 5, 2015

OK -- the CBS stuff is mostly gone now (the very last episode which I watched online yesterday is gone, as is the last Bill Murray episode, and there are a couple each of "The Tony Mendez Show" and "Live on Letterman").

Sooooooo.... now I hear that there are negotiations to put WWP content online in the future for fans (not just the stuff for deep-pocketed companies). Where or when I don't know quite yet.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 1:48 AM on June 10, 2015

Longtime ‘Late Show’ Showrunner Barbara Gaines Looks Back on 35 Years of Working with Letterman
posted by Room 641-A at 12:02 AM on June 11, 2015