The jackal-snouted problem man named Ernest Hemingway
May 14, 2015 12:10 PM Subscribe
Nope, these are actual correspondences between the two authors. I believe we covered them in a American Lit class in college.
posted by griphus at 12:39 PM on May 14, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by griphus at 12:39 PM on May 14, 2015 [10 favorites]
It's not a joke, the real letters are archived and due to their immense cultural value unable to be scanned for preservation reasons, those are just stylised transcripts.
posted by Bangaioh at 12:40 PM on May 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Bangaioh at 12:40 PM on May 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
"You know, Ernest, the rich are different from you and me."
"Shut the fuck up Scott."
posted by mcmile at 12:43 PM on May 14, 2015 [8 favorites]
"Shut the fuck up Scott."
posted by mcmile at 12:43 PM on May 14, 2015 [8 favorites]
Ah, ok. I guess we have to have this presented to us in picture format in this day and age for anyone to pay attention.
Carry on.
posted by humboldt32 at 12:43 PM on May 14, 2015
Carry on.
posted by humboldt32 at 12:43 PM on May 14, 2015
[Clickhole is brought to you by The Onion]
posted by Twain Device at 12:46 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Twain Device at 12:46 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
So this is some kind of joke or humorous fabrication?
"Humorous" is left as an exercise for the reader, but fabrication, yes.
The two men did have a somewhat similar exchange when Hemingway wrote The Snows Of Kilimanjaro. "Dear Ernest," Fitzgerald wrote, "Please lay off me in print."
So to make up for the spat, Hemingway wrote the song "Africa" for the band Toto.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:47 PM on May 14, 2015 [8 favorites]
"Humorous" is left as an exercise for the reader, but fabrication, yes.
The two men did have a somewhat similar exchange when Hemingway wrote The Snows Of Kilimanjaro. "Dear Ernest," Fitzgerald wrote, "Please lay off me in print."
So to make up for the spat, Hemingway wrote the song "Africa" for the band Toto.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:47 PM on May 14, 2015 [8 favorites]
I checked the kerning on these and these were made on a computer.
Doesn't mean they're not real though.
posted by chavenet at 12:48 PM on May 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Doesn't mean they're not real though.
posted by chavenet at 12:48 PM on May 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh dear. I've said it before here, I'm unable to identify satire and irony any more.
posted by humboldt32 at 12:49 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by humboldt32 at 12:49 PM on May 14, 2015
Oh dear. I've said it before here, I'm unable to identify satire and irony any more.
The world's irony reserves have been massively depleted since the widespread adoption of the internet, with the consumption per capita going up by orders of magnitude. It's not a crisis any more; that stage passed a while ago. Fresh irony is simply no more, except in trace quantities which aren't economical to mine out. Current "irony" is made from old pieces smelted down and reconstituted with various fillers such as hyperbole and dadaism.
posted by solarion at 12:56 PM on May 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
The world's irony reserves have been massively depleted since the widespread adoption of the internet, with the consumption per capita going up by orders of magnitude. It's not a crisis any more; that stage passed a while ago. Fresh irony is simply no more, except in trace quantities which aren't economical to mine out. Current "irony" is made from old pieces smelted down and reconstituted with various fillers such as hyperbole and dadaism.
posted by solarion at 12:56 PM on May 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
Typewriter fonts should only be made by people who have seen a typewriter, in person, in real life. Seeing a picture of a typewriter online does not count, and having an impossibly old person tell you what typewriters were like back in the days before indoor plumbing also does not count.
posted by fritley at 1:04 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by fritley at 1:04 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Most of this was in A Moveable Bowel.
posted by pracowity at 1:05 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by pracowity at 1:05 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Fitzgerald, you dirty rat!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 1:12 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by Foci for Analysis at 1:12 PM on May 14, 2015
If we are to believe Wikipedia, the first draft of Gatsby wasn't completed until 1924.
posted by JanetLand at 1:19 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by JanetLand at 1:19 PM on May 14, 2015
Wikipedia is wrong occasionally, but the great thing is that we can update it now that we have a link to the primary source with the correct date.
posted by griphus at 1:24 PM on May 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by griphus at 1:24 PM on May 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
Wow, I am surprised that I find these letters really funny. Maybe you have to be a weirdo who already loves their letters though.
posted by chatongriffes at 1:56 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by chatongriffes at 1:56 PM on May 14, 2015
But Hemingway did once really say about T.S. Eliot (and a by-then dead Joseph Conrad): "If I knew that by grinding Mr. Eliot into a fine dry powder and sprinkling that powder over Mr. Conrad's grave Mr. Conrad would shortly appear, looking very annoyed at the forced return and commence writing, I would leave for London early tomorrow morning with a sausage grinder."
posted by onlyconnect at 1:58 PM on May 14, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by onlyconnect at 1:58 PM on May 14, 2015 [4 favorites]
The real kicker is this spoof was concocted by Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:04 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:04 PM on May 14, 2015
Hemingway also said (and I'm paraphrasing) that anyone with a quart of bourbon and a bad grasp of syntax could write like William Faulkner. And let's not even get started on the shade he threw at Sherwood Anderson and Ford Madox Ford.
posted by octobersurprise at 2:44 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by octobersurprise at 2:44 PM on May 14, 2015
These Clickhole things are freaking brilliant. Whoever writes them is at least as good as Hemingway, and I'm not even exaggerating very much.
posted by koeselitz at 3:48 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by koeselitz at 3:48 PM on May 14, 2015
Oh dear. I've said it before here, I'm unable to identify satire and irony any more.
Wait, are you being ironic?
posted by Lyme Drop at 5:10 PM on May 14, 2015
Wait, are you being ironic?
posted by Lyme Drop at 5:10 PM on May 14, 2015
They're totally real. Now can we go back to talking about that time Hem gave Scottie a handjob in a cafe toilet?
posted by betweenthebars at 5:22 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by betweenthebars at 5:22 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
These fake letters are funny, but ol' E. Hemingway had no qualms about absolutely skewering people with his writing if he was sufficiently motivated and didn't feel like going to the work of just punching them, as he did with Wallace Stevens. Read his short story "Mr. and Mrs. Elliot" if you have a few minutes. It's short (three pages), it came out in 1925, and it's a pretty devastating takedown of someone. That someone may or may not be T.S. Eliot and his wife; opinions vary.
posted by mosk at 5:32 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by mosk at 5:32 PM on May 14, 2015
Typewriter fonts should only be made by people who have seen a typewriter, in person, in real life.
I'm sorry, I don't get your terminology. What type of writer? Is this some sort of Apple app?
posted by happyroach at 6:39 PM on May 14, 2015
I'm sorry, I don't get your terminology. What type of writer? Is this some sort of Apple app?
posted by happyroach at 6:39 PM on May 14, 2015
You rat-faced jackal-people.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:04 PM on May 14, 2015
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:04 PM on May 14, 2015
Half the folks are saying they are real...half the folks are OBVIOUS HeLLO FAKE. I'm a half-wit. Any way to prove these are not or are real? They seem fake...but I'd sorta love it if they are real.
I'm also such a sucker....
posted by metasav at 7:11 PM on May 14, 2015
I'm also such a sucker....
posted by metasav at 7:11 PM on May 14, 2015
IT'S THE ONION
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:18 PM on May 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:18 PM on May 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Okay, these are fake. But here's the thing...there are actual letters between these guys that are hilarious on a whole different level.
Everybody who wasn't an American Lit Nerd needs to just get to the library post-haste, it's worth the time.
posted by padraigin at 8:03 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Everybody who wasn't an American Lit Nerd needs to just get to the library post-haste, it's worth the time.
posted by padraigin at 8:03 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
"I hear you were seen running through Portugal in used B.V.D.’s chewing ground glass and collecting material for a story about boule players; that you were publicity man for Lindbergh; that you have finished a novel a hundred thousand words long consisting entirely of the word “balls” used in new groupings; that you have been naturalized a Spaniard, dress always in a wine-skin with “zipper” vent and are engaged in bootlegging Spanish Fly between St. Sebastian and Biarritz where your agents sprinkle it on the floor of the Casino. I hope I have been misinformed but, alas!, it all has too true a ring. For your own good I should be back there, with both of us trying to be good fellows at a terrible rate. Just before you pass out next time think of me."
That's a real quote, so it's not like these are especially far-fetched.
posted by Optamystic at 2:14 AM on May 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
That's a real quote, so it's not like these are especially far-fetched.
posted by Optamystic at 2:14 AM on May 15, 2015 [3 favorites]
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posted by humboldt32 at 12:35 PM on May 14, 2015 [1 favorite]