Born from a bruise
May 20, 2015 12:38 PM Subscribe
Myfanwy Collins writes about her fear of dying, cancer scares and a history of cancer in the family. (SLButter)
Another place to note that Brian Fies' Award Winning webcomic "Mom's Cancer" is being rerun at gocomics, albeit at a slow, page-a-week basis, so it's still very early in the story.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:12 PM on May 20, 2015
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:12 PM on May 20, 2015
Heh. I was coming in to say "that was beautiful".
That was beautiful.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:51 PM on May 20, 2015
That was beautiful.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:51 PM on May 20, 2015
As of 5/21/2015, I'm still alive and doing quite well. I was supposed to be dead in March of 2014. What saved my ass at the last minute was getting into a clinical trial. I was diagnosed with melanoma, no doubt the result of not having some skin covered by sunscreen. The first problem was it never got noticed. The second problem was it got inside and proceeded to attack every major organ from my neck to my pelvis. When it was finally diagnosed, it was at late stage 4 and I had one shot at getting into a clinical trial. Fortunately, I got in, and it worked. The drug was investigational, but it was a drug designed to not only fight cancer cells with the body's immune system, and also to reduce or eliminate the nasty side effects of regular chemo. As a result, I got back to work quicker than most cancer patients do (if they survive), and the financial impact was minimal. Prior to getting into the clinical trial, the outlook was pretty bleak with 4 months being the best-case scenario for being alive. What you do with this knowledge is immediately go back over all of the choices you made up to that point. Here are the choices I made that gave me peace of mind which enabled me to focus completely on my treatment:
1. Buy life insurance when you are young and healthy. Lots of it. It isn't that expensive in the grand scheme of things. If I would have died, my house would have been paid off, and my kids would go to college. Knowing that took a huge, huge, huge load off my mind.
2. Have a will and living will already in place, and review it regularly. This will save your family unnecessary legal hassles after you die. Probate is difficult enough to go through without adding to that difficulty by dying intestate and leaving any assets your family could benefit from in legal no-mans-land.
3. No matter how much you make, save money. As much as humanly possible. It will get you through very lean times.
4. Simplify your life. You cannot begin to imagine how much stuff is just superfluous crap that you can not only live without, but live better without. And with a little number crunching and creative thinking, you don't necessarily have to give up everything that's fun. Apple TV and a Netflix account can accomplish the same thing as cable TV does with your monthly payment going from $100+ a month to $8.00 a month. if you're going to be recuperating at home for a while, ditch the 2nd car. Not everybody's situation is the same, but everybody has stuff like this that can help save money.
4. Connect with people. All I kept hearing from an awful lot of people is the "There are no atheists in foxholes" line of bullshit. The one thing I found out from sitting in a lot of oncology, radiation, and chemo infusion waiting rooms with a lot of people from all walks of life who were in far worse situations than mine, is that they didn't want salvation. They wanted peace. What gave them peace? Human connection. Not connection with some invisible, finger-wagging deity that demanded repentance, but the reassurance, support, help, and communication of a close family member(s) and/or friend(s) and even strangers. I spent 8 days in the University of Pennsylvania Hospital in the middle of winter during horrendous snowstorms when both family and friends couldn't make it in to visit. The nurses at that hospital were the kindest, warmest, and funniest human beings that got me through some long, painful nights. A priest came and visited me as well, although I never requested one. We talked about baseball, and I got more out of that than any theological discussion I ever had.
I woke up one day, went to work, and at about 3:00pm got a phone call from my doctor telling me that I had a very serious illness and that the outlook was not good. My life changed in that instant and it hasn't been the same since. I've made some dumb choices in my life (not wearing sunscreen has moved to the top of the dumbest of them), but I also made some smart ones that saved not just me, but my family a whole lot of unnecessary grief. Here endeth my soapbox speech.
posted by prepmonkey at 10:02 AM on May 21, 2015
1. Buy life insurance when you are young and healthy. Lots of it. It isn't that expensive in the grand scheme of things. If I would have died, my house would have been paid off, and my kids would go to college. Knowing that took a huge, huge, huge load off my mind.
2. Have a will and living will already in place, and review it regularly. This will save your family unnecessary legal hassles after you die. Probate is difficult enough to go through without adding to that difficulty by dying intestate and leaving any assets your family could benefit from in legal no-mans-land.
3. No matter how much you make, save money. As much as humanly possible. It will get you through very lean times.
4. Simplify your life. You cannot begin to imagine how much stuff is just superfluous crap that you can not only live without, but live better without. And with a little number crunching and creative thinking, you don't necessarily have to give up everything that's fun. Apple TV and a Netflix account can accomplish the same thing as cable TV does with your monthly payment going from $100+ a month to $8.00 a month. if you're going to be recuperating at home for a while, ditch the 2nd car. Not everybody's situation is the same, but everybody has stuff like this that can help save money.
4. Connect with people. All I kept hearing from an awful lot of people is the "There are no atheists in foxholes" line of bullshit. The one thing I found out from sitting in a lot of oncology, radiation, and chemo infusion waiting rooms with a lot of people from all walks of life who were in far worse situations than mine, is that they didn't want salvation. They wanted peace. What gave them peace? Human connection. Not connection with some invisible, finger-wagging deity that demanded repentance, but the reassurance, support, help, and communication of a close family member(s) and/or friend(s) and even strangers. I spent 8 days in the University of Pennsylvania Hospital in the middle of winter during horrendous snowstorms when both family and friends couldn't make it in to visit. The nurses at that hospital were the kindest, warmest, and funniest human beings that got me through some long, painful nights. A priest came and visited me as well, although I never requested one. We talked about baseball, and I got more out of that than any theological discussion I ever had.
I woke up one day, went to work, and at about 3:00pm got a phone call from my doctor telling me that I had a very serious illness and that the outlook was not good. My life changed in that instant and it hasn't been the same since. I've made some dumb choices in my life (not wearing sunscreen has moved to the top of the dumbest of them), but I also made some smart ones that saved not just me, but my family a whole lot of unnecessary grief. Here endeth my soapbox speech.
posted by prepmonkey at 10:02 AM on May 21, 2015
« Older ARE FEMALES HUMAN? | Scott's Hirsute Sweaters Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by ellieBOA at 12:58 PM on May 20, 2015