"ads for liver powder, hypophosphites syrup, and “fluid beef,”"
May 24, 2015 9:31 PM   Subscribe

 
Cost 2.4 billion to build, and he bought it for 82 million. Our world is so stupid.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 9:44 PM on May 24, 2015 [3 favorites]


“I’ll extend your quality of life by an extra 20 years, guaranteed. If we don’t extend your life and you don’t feel more comfortable, don’t pay.”

20 years or your next life is free!
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:13 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


He’s wiry and fast-talking—a tan, outdoorsy Jimmy Cagney, dressed modestly with chestnut-colored hair and a slight drawl.
That physical description in no way matches the pictures. He doesn't look awful, but if he's managed to slow his own aging, it's all on the inside.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:16 PM on May 24, 2015 [6 favorites]


The description of the sort of ultra-rich who will patronize the place makes me hope that future generations will have the Niven attitude toward cryogenics patients.
posted by Mitrovarr at 11:48 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]


"Fluid beef" sounds like either a New Wave group or that hot new Photoshop plugin.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:39 AM on May 25, 2015 [3 favorites]


This is just Mr. House from Fallout: New Vegas, and I couldn't be happier.

Though if you had money, why wouldn't you do everything you can to extend your life?
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 1:01 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


My immortality plan involves kidnapping Keanu Reeves and wearing him like a patch.
posted by um at 1:22 AM on May 25, 2015 [8 favorites]


Good grief, if that man's 68 he's been in the sun too much.
posted by glasseyes at 3:51 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


So new age life-extension quackery is the solution to Atlantic City's woes? It couldn't do a worse job than the casinos have in bringing back that town but it's still a massively dumb idea.
posted by octothorpe at 4:57 AM on May 25, 2015


This man sounds like a walking advertisement for the guillotine.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 5:37 AM on May 25, 2015 [2 favorites]


gosh, that Bloomberg site is a beautiful feat of graphic design. i would normally have given up on a story like this after the first paragraph, but i swear, that color border and those animated little arrows somehow kept me going til the end. I even read a few other articles that i would normally find boring.

The biggest take i got from the article is that our dystopian future under long-lived, unnaturally young-looking (or is that just plain unnatural looking?) oligarchs has barely begun. Also, is seaside investment really the wisest choice right now?
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 7:27 AM on May 25, 2015


Is there anything that Chris Christie has touched that he hasn't managed to fuck up completely?
posted by octothorpe at 8:46 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


Come on, come on, Daddy needs another 20 years...
posted by Samizdata at 9:42 AM on May 25, 2015


Actually reminds me of a story I read one where people gambled years of life...
posted by Samizdata at 9:43 AM on May 25, 2015


I knew Revel was garbage when I had to walk up 3 flights of stairs and around a hidden corner from the pit to find the poker room, which was huge, sumptuous, and empty. That and no 15$ tables at 3pm? Bye forever jerks.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:03 AM on May 25, 2015


What a pitch! The most unpleasant man in the world ("Slap me and I'll punch you!") threatens to make you live to be 100!
posted by kozad at 11:51 AM on May 25, 2015


Yeesh, what a repulsive human being. He's like the HyperTrump or something. This photo, though, man. AC in a nutshell.

If there’s a problem, it’s that every single one of the therapies Straub is touting lacks the science to back up claims of life extension. “We are asking people to write a check for things that we don’t know work and ignore the things we know do work, which are lifestyle changes,” says David Katz, founding director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center, who speaks often at the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine’s events. Or as S. Jay Olshansky of the University of Chicago’s Center on Aging puts it: “Choose long-lived parents, eat right, eat less, and exercise. Nothing else has been proven to work, period.”

But Oprah swears by life extension therapy! When has she ever been wrong about something in the field of medicine??
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 11:55 AM on May 25, 2015 [1 favorite]


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