Han lied first.
June 4, 2015 6:34 AM   Subscribe

In-Canon Star Wars Comic Just Did Something Completely Insane [Comic Book Resources] [spoilers]
Back in "Star Wars" #4, writer Jason Aaron introduced a figure wearing a cloak and mask who had arrived at Mos Eisley in search of Han Solo. The mystery person took out the knees of a group of Rodian ruffians using a voice-activated blaster mounted under a table, evoking a certain scene from 1977's "Star Wars." In today's "Star Wars" #6, artist John Cassaday finally got the opportunity to take off that character's disguise and reveal their identity.
Spoilers lie ahead for those of you that aren't caught up with the series, so look away now.

Meet Sana Solo....Han Solo’s wife.
posted by Fizz (112 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
Oh snap.
posted by notyou at 6:38 AM on June 4, 2015


Sorta defeats the whole purpose of the Solo thing.
posted by furtive at 6:39 AM on June 4, 2015 [22 favorites]


I'm willing to bet that it's reset to the status quo before December.
posted by drezdn at 6:41 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


Han Duo
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:41 AM on June 4, 2015 [13 favorites]


It must be weird to be Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher and know that people will be drawing pictures of you in your 20s or 30s long after you're dead.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:46 AM on June 4, 2015 [34 favorites]




When does this take place? I thought the series was in the gap between New Hope and Empire, which I thought was before Han and Leia became a thing.

If only on the vast internets, there was someone knowledgeable enough with Star Wars to help me!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:48 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


Everybody knows Chewbacca is Han Solo's wife.
posted by Thing at 6:49 AM on June 4, 2015 [33 favorites]


robocop is bleeding, it is set between New Hope and Empire Strikes back. Wookieepedia.
posted by Fizz at 6:50 AM on June 4, 2015


Maybe Leia would be open to a Han Trio?
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:50 AM on June 4, 2015 [47 favorites]


Does the force work better on ferromagnetic materials?
posted by clockzero at 6:50 AM on June 4, 2015


Yosafbrige strikes again!
posted by sotonohito at 6:51 AM on June 4, 2015 [7 favorites]


Everybody knows Chewbacca is Han Solo's wife.

Chewie is a shapeshifter!
posted by sutt at 6:52 AM on June 4, 2015


I'm wondering if she's the new canon version of Salla Zend since Dark Empire was wiped out of canon with the rest of the EU.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:53 AM on June 4, 2015


It must be weird to be Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher and know that people will be drawing pictures of you in your 20s or 30s long after you're dead.

At least they're relatively accurate. Think of how Jesus must feel.
posted by griphus at 6:55 AM on June 4, 2015 [55 favorites]


I have no reason to believe that they're married just because she says they're married.
posted by komara at 6:57 AM on June 4, 2015 [10 favorites]


Blond.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:58 AM on June 4, 2015


Maybe I've been reading Han's character is a drastically different way from everyone else, but if I were to find out he had four wives and a half-dozen kids spread out through the galaxy, that would be just about expected. He's not, like, a good guy. He's an asshole and his entire arc of the trilogy is his redemption and finding something to fight for and so on. But prior to that he's a world-class asshole.
posted by griphus at 6:59 AM on June 4, 2015 [75 favorites]


I'm willing to bet that it's reset to the status quo before December.
I wouldn't touch that bet.
It's a comic book! Whether or not it's considered "canon", there are about 25,000 comic book plot tropes that can allow the author to wiggle out of something as minor as a previous spouse. I mean, Ye Gads!, they regularly resurrect the well and truly dead so I'm guessing Sana's back story will allow for a status quo reset well before Christmas.
posted by TDavis at 7:00 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


To quote E-40, "Star Wars, Nope."
posted by dortmunder at 7:02 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


i'm guessing there will be a reset - but it's worth mentioning that at least for right now, the comics are one of the very few things being considered cannon by the powers that be - so, yeah, she might be lying or they might explain it away or it might be a fever dream - but it also just might be a thing for a while.
posted by nadawi at 7:03 AM on June 4, 2015


That's the thing about a comic that is set in a universe and a time-line with a pre-ordained story already set in stone. The story can create tension but often the stakes are just not high enough because we already know what is going to happen.

I wish these comics had been set just immediately prior to the release of the film. But I guess spoilers and studio executives not wanting to give away too much or something.
posted by Fizz at 7:10 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Maybe I've been reading Han's character is a drastically different way from everyone else, but if I were to find out he had four wives and a half-dozen kids spread out through the galaxy, that would be just about expected. He's not, like, a good guy. He's an asshole and his entire arc of the trilogy is his redemption and finding something to fight for and so on. But prior to that he's a world-class asshole.

Right? I'm betting that he had to get a thorough medical checkup and sign a pretty tight prenup before Leia agreed to be married.

If they really wanted to be bold, they'd mention Han's various marriages to men.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:15 AM on June 4, 2015 [17 favorites]


I don't see what the big deal is. Why shouldn't Han Solo know the joy of galactic matrimony?
posted by chrchr at 7:16 AM on June 4, 2015


If they really wanted to be bold, they'd mention Han's various marriages to men.

Han Poly
posted by inturnaround at 7:16 AM on June 4, 2015 [7 favorites]


Or his marriage to a Wookie.
posted by drezdn at 7:17 AM on June 4, 2015


If they really wanted to be bold, they'd mention Han's various marriages to men.

You assume his marriages are only with "humanoids". The Star Wars galaxy is a big place...
posted by Fizz at 7:18 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


I love the shellshocked look on Leia's face when she says, "WIFE?"
posted by edheil at 7:21 AM on June 4, 2015


At the very least he has got to have multiple long-con marriages to space queens and heiresses.

There's always been some pre-Episode IV Han stories floating around in the EU, and they were always disappointing to me because he had so many scruples, he was always just a hero stuck in a bad situation. We all know he gets redeemed in the movies, have fun with cocky pirate bastard Han if you're going to go earlier in the timeline!
posted by jason_steakums at 7:22 AM on June 4, 2015 [11 favorites]


OK I don't actually care and I don't think I am going to see the new star wars (37 wasted years dreaming another persons dreams) so this will be my only comment on this:

I hoped that John Boyega's character would be Lando's son, BUT, What if it is Lando's Nephew.... dun dun dun it explains a LOT about Han and Lando's Hate/love and WHY He let Han actually keep the falcon....
posted by mrgroweler at 7:24 AM on June 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


"Lucas ruined my life, I mean that in the best possible way." --Carrie Fisher at her comedic best, not the best part of the monologue.

My read of the franchise is that it's worth comment since the franchise as a whole tended to be a bit traditional, if not conservative, when it came to relationship issues and the "one true pair."

Not to mention Disney made a big deal out of shutting down EU for the sake of "canon" and now we're back into writers in secondary media grafting their own original characters and love triangles onto core protagonists.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 7:27 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


But prior to that he's a world-class asshole.

You misspelled "Stuck up, half-wit, scruffy looking nerf herder".

I mean, if we're going to be canonical about it.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 7:29 AM on June 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


People get married for a lot of reasons other than romance. Just because this lady is Han's wife doesn't mean she wants to be!
posted by mikeh at 7:31 AM on June 4, 2015


If they really wanted to be bold, they'd mention Han's various marriages to men.

Chewie's not big on ceremonies
posted by Metafilter Username at 7:32 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


Just because this lady is Han's wife doesn't mean she wants to be!

The same goes for him. Based on her actions in the previous comic we know that she's not afraid to get her hands dirty or bloody. She could be using him for her own ends. We'll have to wait until Issue #7 comes out to find out.
posted by Fizz at 7:33 AM on June 4, 2015


I'm hoping she is played by Christina Hendricks in the film.
posted by cmfletcher at 7:37 AM on June 4, 2015 [10 favorites]


If they really wanted to be bold, they'd mention Han's various marriages to men.

Chewie's not big on ceremonies


Unknown to Han, Chewie and Luke, the ceremony at the end of Episode IV married all three of them.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:38 AM on June 4, 2015 [31 favorites]


I'm hoping she is played by Christina Hendricks in the film.

I think young Han is more Saffron than Mal when it comes down to it.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:41 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


At the very least he has got to have multiple long-con marriages to space queens and heiresses.

Han YOLO
posted by Room 641-A at 7:42 AM on June 4, 2015 [41 favorites]


Out of curiosity who's the arbiter of what is and is not part of the Star Wars Canon? I mean Disney owns the rights but who's the person in charge? Is it some sort of Star Chamber of folks (which would hopefully include George Lucas?) where they sit around and decide what is okay for the books /comics etc?
posted by bitdamaged at 7:42 AM on June 4, 2015


Somewhere in Alter-ego land Mellody Hobson is smiling.
posted by djrock3k at 7:44 AM on June 4, 2015


I was hoping it would be Tommy Westphall.
posted by grouse at 7:47 AM on June 4, 2015 [8 favorites]


At this point in the story, couldn't it easily be the same "wife" situation Mal got himself into in Firefly?
posted by LiteS at 7:48 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Unknown to Han, Chewie and Luke, the ceremony at the end of Episode IV married all three of them.

If he liked it, then he shoulda put a medal on it. #StillNoMedalForChewie
posted by The Bellman at 7:49 AM on June 4, 2015 [11 favorites]


Why shouldn't Han Solo know the joy of galactic matrimony?

Galactic matrimony is one thing. Galactic bigamy is something else again.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:50 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Out of curiosity who's the arbiter of what is and is not part of the Star Wars Canon? I mean Disney owns the rights but who's the person in charge? Is it some sort of Star Chamber of folks (which would hopefully include George Lucas?) where they sit around and decide what is okay for the books /comics etc?

Leland Chee.
posted by Thing at 7:51 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


Chee is the most visible member of the Lucasfilm Story Group that determines Star Wars canon.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 7:57 AM on June 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


Lucas is not a member.
posted by He Is Only The Imposter at 7:58 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


Out of curiosity who's the arbiter of what is and is not part of the Star Wars Canon?

A sixteen year-old named Brandon, from Chula Vista.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:58 AM on June 4, 2015 [11 favorites]


Out of curiosity who's the arbiter of what is and is not part of the Star Wars Canon?

The Swope (Star Wars Pope).
posted by No-sword at 8:01 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


I think this is getting blown up in importance way more than it will end up being. For fiddling around with the major characters of the original trilogy, we have to recognize that there's going to be strict limitations, very thick black lines that writers have to stay within. Well, one would hope that Kathleen Kennedy wants to respect the canon of the original trilogy a bit more than Lucas did when he wrote the prequel trilogy.

Given Solo's reputation, after all, he was hanging out in a hive of scum and villainy when we first met him, I'm not shocked that a marriage of convenience might have occurred, or even, a previous marriage that fell apart, except for the legal part. We're not talking about a character here who we have always known as some chaste monk. This is Han Solo, the scoundrel.

If my memory serves me right, Chee's previous job wasn't deciding what "new" stuff was canon, so much as making sure it didn't conflict with what was already canon. His new slightly different job was initially designed to figure out what past canon remains canon, and I assume, his new job is more like his old job, of keeping everything straight in the new expanding universe. He's the guy who makes sure that no one claims Yoda used to be white, then turned green as he aged...which some writer once put forward, and has since been repudiated with the fact that there's just another race of aliens who look a lot like Yoda's race, but are white (You can see one of them at the end of Phantom Menace on the parade stand - and he's featured in a few Clone War episodes).

Who's the final say in new Star Wars canon? I don't have a clue, but I'd expect Kathleen Kennedy has a prominent role.
posted by Atreides at 8:18 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is Han Solo, the scoundrel.

Best Star Wars business card ever.
posted by Fizz at 8:23 AM on June 4, 2015


Best Star Wars business card ever.

SKYWALKER (choking with anxiety): Impressive. Very nice. Let's see Han Solo's card.

Solo pulls a card from an inside coat pocket and holds it up for their inspection: "HAN SOLO, THE SCOUNDREL". Luke Skywalker swallows, speechless. The sound in the room dies down and all we hear is a faint heartbeat as Luke stares at the magnificent card.

SKYWALKER (V.O.): Look at that subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark...

His hand shaking, Skywalker lifts up the card and stares at it until it fills the screen. He lets it fall. The sound returns to normal.

LEIA: Is something wrong? Luke...you're sweating.
posted by griphus at 8:32 AM on June 4, 2015 [8 favorites]


Sana Solo looks like Omaha the Cat Dancer.
posted by Nevin at 8:36 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm happy to see this if only because it's about goddamned time the well-known canon Star Wars narrative passed the Blackdel* test. I say "well known canon" because I'd be surprised if the average Star Wars fan knew even one thing about Salla Zend.

Note that early rumor has it that in the upcoming film, Lupita Nyong'o will be only playing a mocap character. Way to go, Star Wars film franchise: take an award-winning actor who has been named as one of People's "Most Beautiful" and relegate her to CGI hell, missing your chance to finally catch up to your rival franchise w/r/t important black women characters in the well-known canon. Sure, you both would've been tied at 1, decades after your respective creations, but still.

I'm sure they'll find a way to erase her from the narrative altogether, probably having her die while saving Leia, with her last words being "Han, I did it so you can be with the one you truly love" or some stupid shit like that.

* My version of the Blackdel test: Does the work have (1) even one black female character (2) who is seen (3) who has a name and (4) who speaks about anything...anything at all? Notable failures: every Pixar film to date, more YA franchises than I care to think about, both Avengers movies.
posted by lord_wolf at 8:38 AM on June 4, 2015 [15 favorites]


Is there a term for a series of stories whose creator is firmly against the concept of retconning, other than perhaps "bad business decision"? With the term 'canon' being much more of a flexible, temporary term these days, that doesn't have the necessary, ironclad, "this happened, deal with it" kind of strength.

Are there creators out there in markets that where retconning is a standard practice that are philosophically opposed to retconning?

I'm not here to condemn retconning - it has its merits and problems, and can produce entertaining, interesting results just as easily as it can weaken the integrity of a fictional world. It just seems that a simply from an economic standpoint, being opposed to the practice and forbidding it no matter what writer is assigned to the task in the future seems to be equivalent to shooting yourself in the foot at the start of a race, and that disappoints me.

Personally, retconning is often a turn-off for me. It often feels like it devalues my previous enjoyment of that particular fictional world and storyline. Fictional universes are a big place, and it just seems weird to me to alter a single, isolated set of events again and again when there is a whole universe of stuff out there to creatively explore and tell tales of.

That said, retconning doesn't really need to be defended - it's proven its worth monetarily, creatively, and as a tool to address social and cultural issues and perspectives. I just think that, for lack of a better term, a 'true canon universe' is undervalued as a viable option to achieve the same things as well. For example, take the phrase "this happened, deal with it" and what initially seems restrictive perhaps becomes an opportunity. If the story was written with ideas and attitudes that now seem dated and backward, such as race, gender, etc, one might "deal with it" by making that struggle and challenge against it as part of the new story's environment. I'm not saying make the focus of the story arc about it, but simply part of their world they have to deal with every day. Having the reader/viewer experience it from their perspective can just as effective as changing the race/gender/orientation of an already established character. I know this kind of thing has been done in the past with comics a great deal, but I don't know how often its been used in a 'truly canon' environment.
posted by chambers at 8:39 AM on June 4, 2015


A mysterious figure hunting our intrepid heroes from the shadows turns out to be a vengeful ex?

Sana is essentially Carrie Fisher's character from The Blues Brothers.
posted by Uncle Ira at 8:39 AM on June 4, 2015 [14 favorites]


Once he does marry Leia and becomes a Consort or whatever, how many illegitimate kids are going to show up wanting money? SO MANY.
posted by emjaybee at 8:40 AM on June 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


I'm hoping it's not the well-trodden "vengeful ex" thing they're doing with this, tbh. I'd like to see, I don't know, her saying FINALLY, SOLO, I'VE FOUND YOU and serving him with divorce papers because she's been trying to track his ass down for years simply to secure a divorce. And then Star Wars stuff happens and they have to fight side-by-side and she turns into a completely platonic foil for Solo and becomes bffs with Leia.
posted by griphus at 8:42 AM on June 4, 2015 [11 favorites]


Sorry, Uncle Ira, Sana is Gwendolyn from Saga.

She's a kick-ass black lady, former(?) lover of the scoundrel protagonist who has a thing for the main girl.

Nailed it.
posted by sleeping bear at 8:43 AM on June 4, 2015 [7 favorites]


Sana is essentially Carrie Fisher's character from The Blues Brothers.

I need to see this happen:

No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of hypermatter. I... I had a bad hyperdrive motivator. I didn't have enough Imperial credits for cab fare. My Corellian bloodstripes didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from another system. Someone stole my ship. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Mynocks! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
posted by entropicamericana at 8:45 AM on June 4, 2015 [20 favorites]


ha! i was gonna make the saga comparison but i was worried about spoilers. but yeah, totally what i thought when i saw it.
posted by nadawi at 8:46 AM on June 4, 2015


And then Star Wars stuff happens and they have to fight side-by-side and she turns into a completely platonic foil for Solo and becomes bffs with Leia.

Leia & Sana travelling around in the Falcon battling space crime and shit.

TAKE MY MOTHER FUCKING MONEY $$$$$
posted by Fizz at 8:46 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


LEIA: We were somewhere around Bespin on the edge of the galaxy when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive..." And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and space was full of what looked like huge bloodbats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the ship, which was going about .7c with the top down to Coruscant. And a voice was screaming: "Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?"
posted by delfin at 8:52 AM on June 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


I wouldn't mind a kind of Korra & Asami fighting crime in the world situation only with Leia & Sana. And lets just go ahead and have this animated.
posted by Fizz at 8:57 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


At the very least he has got to have multiple long-con marriages to space queens and heiresses.

Idea: let's reboot Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in the Star Wars universe
posted by prize bull octorok at 8:57 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Idea: let's reboot Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in the Star Wars universe

It starts with the bounty hunter scene in Empire Strikes Back where all those hunters are gathered together in front of Lord Vader.
posted by Fizz at 8:58 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is a New Coke, or should we say "new Han" level fuckup.
posted by humanfont at 8:59 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm hoping she is played by Christina Hendricks in the film.
posted by cmfletcher at 10:37 AM on June 4


With that piercing gaze and fierce hair? If I were a producer, I'd be on the phone to Viola Davis's agent right the fuck now.

I would LOVE for Solo to have been married (as part of a con) to a black older woman, who discovered his shit at last and Ain't. Gonna. Take. It.
posted by magstheaxe at 9:01 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


She's a kick-ass black lady, former(?) lover of the scoundrel protagonist who has a thing for the main girl.

I would LOVE for Solo to have been married (as part of a con) to a black older woman, who discovered his shit at last and Ain't. Gonna. Take. It.

Either of these beats the hell out of the refrigerator I expect this character to find herself in.
posted by immlass at 9:03 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm hoping she is played by Christina Hendricks in the film.
Aisha Tyler would like a word.
posted by fullerine at 9:03 AM on June 4, 2015 [5 favorites]


I saw the page before reading the text, so I was really hoping she was his love child with Lando Calrissian.
posted by benzenedream at 9:03 AM on June 4, 2015


I want to see a Han and Sana series that's just Space Archer.
posted by griphus at 9:05 AM on June 4, 2015 [10 favorites]


Idea: let's reboot Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in the Star Wars universe

Palpatine as Lawrence, Anakin as Freddy, and Michael Caine as the butler for the nod-and-wink. I mean, Anakin in the prequels was basically Ruprecht already.
posted by entropicamericana at 9:07 AM on June 4, 2015


I want to see a Han and Sana series that's just Space Archer.

"Sana... Sana... SAAAANAAAA!"
"WHAT?"
"Danger Zone."
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:08 AM on June 4, 2015 [23 favorites]


Do you want womp rats? Because that's how you get womp rats!
posted by Spatch at 9:17 AM on June 4, 2015 [7 favorites]


I would LOVE for Solo to have been married (as part of a con) to a black older woman, who discovered his shit at last and Ain't. Gonna. Take. It.

I instantly pictured Pam Grier as a SW version of Jackie Brown. Damn, that would be cool.

How cool would it be if Elmore Leonard wrote a script set in the SW universe with no direct links to the main SW story or characters? I think for me it would be one of the handful of things that would create an "All sins forgiven, even the prequels" situation. However, we do not live in that part of the multiverse.
posted by chambers at 9:21 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


However, we do not live in that part of the multiverse.

...yet.
posted by blue_beetle at 9:29 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


He Is Only The Imposter: "Chee is the most visible member of the Lucasfilm Story Group that determines Star Wars canon."

I don't care how you break crap down to G-canon and S-canon and all. I pretty much read it that Lucas' fundamental greed has completely broken the EU and the only thing that is canon is that there is no canon.
posted by Samizdata at 9:30 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


We're not talking about a character here who we have always known as some chaste monk. This is Han Solo, the scoundrel.

And he's modest about it too - tells us he only "gets boarded sometimes."
posted by nubs at 9:36 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


fullerine: "
I'm hoping she is played by Christina Hendricks in the film.
Aisha Tyler would like a word.
"

Sorry, but she can have as many words with me as she wants, pretty much as long as they are in person.
posted by Samizdata at 9:36 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm a bit of an anti-canon crank for the reason that it's nearly impossible to maintain consistency across multiple media developed by multiple teams often separated by decades. The demands of cinema and comics are different, the process is different, the narratives are different, and if you don't want to create shit, you let them be different.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:44 AM on June 4, 2015


Palpatine as Lawrence

And now I am just remembering that Ian McDiarmid actually was in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

It's a small galaxy after all
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:46 AM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


And now I am just remembering that Ian McDiarmid actually was in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

Who can forget that immortal line, "Your trident, sir?"
posted by entropicamericana at 10:24 AM on June 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


Yeah, this looks much more like a Mal/Saffron thing than a "he really married her" thing. Either she's full on delusional (the fact that her name just sounds like a slightly transliterated version of Han's might be a clue there) or he served her with his left hand rather than his right hand back on planet Bonko-phut where EVERYBODY knows that means "we're married." Han's forehead clutching "Oh no" is much more "Oh jeez, not this shit again" than "OMG, I've been found out!"

But then again, who knows?
posted by yoink at 10:39 AM on June 4, 2015


All these jokes have really reawakened for me the visceral realization of just how incredibly, wonderfully stupid a name "Han Solo" is. Truly a "Buck Rogers" for a new era — and was it maybe an actual, perhaps unconscious, reference?

Imagine how innocent and amusing the dopey onomastics of Star Wars must once have felt. This is the Internet so I'm sure someone has written about it, but man, among the worst things about the nerd-culture veneration of canon and all the endless rewatching we now do is how pious everything can become, even (especially?) the dumbest parts. Maybe for, like, "General Grievous" we can still summon some of the sense of the childishness of the material, but it's really worn off the old stuff just by sheer repetition.
posted by RogerB at 10:44 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


LEIA: Is something wrong? Luke...you're sweating.

LUKE: That card. I've never seen anything like it.

Leia picks up the card, frowns, and flips it over.

LEIA: This is thermography. God, Luke, you're such a hick sometimes.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:49 AM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


I'm hoping she is played by Christina Hendricks in the film.

This whole "I don't see color" thing has gone too far.
posted by inturnaround at 11:02 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Imagine how innocent and amusing the dopey onomastics of Star Wars must once have felt.

Don't forget that at this very moment, hundreds of thousands of people are enthralled by a movie containing characters named "Immortan Joe," "Toast the Knowing" and "The Doof Warrior."
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:06 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


*cough*Wash and Zoe*cough*
posted by PenDevil at 11:30 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm sad that this reveal has overshadowed the truly excellent last few pages of Darth Vader #6 that came out the same day. But if you're not reading Darth Vader, you're missing out. It's got C3PO and R2D2's sadistic twins, Vader force-choking Jabba the Hutt, so good.
posted by cottoncandybeard at 11:33 AM on June 4, 2015


Had no idea that Kieron Gillen was writing Darth Vader until this week. Combine it with this reveal and my interest in the Marvel Star Wars books has gone from none to going to binge read them all this weekend.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:39 AM on June 4, 2015


griphus: "It must be weird to be Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher and know that people will be drawing pictures of you in your 20s or 30s long after you're dead.

At least they're relatively accurate. Think of how Jesus must feel.
"

Oh, I don't know, give people a couple of thousand years, and we'll see.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 11:48 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Countdown to this character ending up stuffed in a fridge for CHARACTER MOTIVIATION starts .... NOW!
posted by rmd1023 at 11:59 AM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


In the Star Wars Universe, would it still be a fridge moment? Or is it more of a carbonite moment?
posted by nubs at 12:14 PM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


Inturnaround,
I think this whole "you haven't seen firefly" thing has gone too far. Let's be like fox TV execs and cancel this derail before it gets a rabid fan base.
posted by cmfletcher at 12:38 PM on June 4, 2015 [2 favorites]


All these jokes have really reawakened for me the visceral realization of just how incredibly, wonderfully stupid a name "Han Solo" is. Truly a "Buck Rogers" for a new era — and was it maybe an actual, perhaps unconscious, reference?

I've recently decided that my next SW RPG character name will have to be Fetch Hundo. Quite possibly ALL my future SW RPG character names will be Fetch Hundo, because that is solid gold.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:45 PM on June 4, 2015 [6 favorites]


Obvious Dire Wraith Skrull impersonation shenanigans.
posted by meehawl at 1:23 PM on June 4, 2015


I've recently decided that my next SW RPG character name will have to be Fetch Hundo.

Nice. My go-to Star Wars character name is Subito Piano.
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:32 PM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


rmd1023: "Countdown to this character ending up stuffed in a fridge for CHARACTER MOTIVIATION starts .... NOW"

Please, please, please don't make any more sequels with Harrison Ford and fridges.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:02 PM on June 4, 2015 [4 favorites]


Fetch Hundo
Subito Piano


Fake Star Wars names is the best game.

Hambo Krampus
Bahn'mi Char'siu
Darth Nurple
Nixie Amberlamps
Septopus Bivouac
Senpai Crimbo
Challah Bred'do
Jek Borkins
posted by jason_steakums at 4:22 PM on June 4, 2015 [9 favorites]


In my family we do "Star Wars Names" by using middle name and first name, backwards:
Namtto Salokin, son of Namtto Rotkiv
Thebazile Haras
Eyam Akire
Snommis Bor
Norrad Nivek
They work even better said out loud.
posted by librosegretti at 4:44 PM on June 4, 2015 [3 favorites]


Sana, sana, colita de Organa
posted by mubba at 7:24 PM on June 4, 2015 [1 favorite]


"It must be weird to be Harrison Ford or Carrie Fisher and know that people will be drawing pictures of you in your 20s or 30s long after you're dead."

"At least they're relatively accurate. Think of how Jesus must feel."


Or Mohammed.
posted by bryon at 12:08 AM on June 5, 2015 [2 favorites]


As for the prime topic of discussion, I got a big kick out of that reveal panel of the comic. I may have to track this series down.
posted by bryon at 12:09 AM on June 5, 2015


Back in my collegiate RPG days, we used names taken verbatim from highway signs (as seen on Interstate 75 in NW Ohio) to gen up plausible Star Wars characters. At one point, we had a smuggler crew made up of ace pilot Napoleon Fremont, hard-boiled mercenary Fostoria McComb, and veteran scout Luckey Haskins, all of whom would fit in well enough with characters from the OT.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:17 AM on June 5, 2015 [6 favorites]


Quatta To
posted by rifflesby at 1:21 PM on June 5, 2015


btw regarding the dumbness of Star Wars names, I would like to point at the three y's in Kashyyyk as the dumbest, most pointless goddamn thing.
posted by rifflesby at 1:23 PM on June 5, 2015 [1 favorite]


Oh god I've never noticed that before. It's like the arrow in the FedEx sign; I can't unsee it now.
posted by griphus at 1:25 PM on June 5, 2015


I would like to point at the three y's in Kashyyyk as the dumbest, most pointless goddamn thing.

Okay, smart guy, I'd like to see you devise a better system for transliterating Shyriiwook phonemes into Roman orthography.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:14 PM on June 5, 2015 [6 favorites]


btw regarding the dumbness of Star Wars names, I would like to point at the three y's in Kashyyyk as the dumbest, most pointless goddamn thing.

I've talked about my love of this before, but the thing in the Thrawn trilogy where clones are just given the same name but repeating one vowel is the best dumb thing. Luuke Skywalker! But even Zahn knows that three of the same vowel is too many.
posted by jason_steakums at 5:45 PM on June 5, 2015 [3 favorites]


Luuke Skywalker!

The extra u stands for: "u know i ran out of ideas"
posted by Fizz at 5:56 AM on June 6, 2015 [3 favorites]


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