HEEEEERE'S KINGSLEY!
June 22, 2015 8:38 AM   Subscribe

 
Can't sleep. Tortured, melted Lisa Simpson'll eat me.

O_O
posted by ursus_comiter at 8:41 AM on June 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


Not sure what the big deal is, just looks like a photograph of your average football spectator.

I actually kinda like this. It has almost a Majora's Mask vibe.
posted by selfnoise at 8:45 AM on June 22, 2015


I'm very suspicious how close to the solstice this was revealed.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 8:47 AM on June 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


Start by sponsoring football, end by sponsoring nightmares. Good job Kingsford Capital Management!
posted by Thing at 8:48 AM on June 22, 2015


I'm glad the "Jesus Wept" scene from Hellraiser still has some traction among costume designers.
posted by griphus at 8:50 AM on June 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


I can imagine someone in their marketing department sketching it out and arguing it might look a bit rough and ready on paper but once its been worked up in real life it will look so much better.

Its a shame we can't see their reaction shot.
posted by biffa at 8:51 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


i thought everyone was a making a big deal. i kept seeing this on twitter.

and then i clicked.

oh sweet albany jesus wtf who thought that was a good idea.
eeeeek.

it's going to eat my face!!!
posted by sio42 at 8:51 AM on June 22, 2015


This was designed by the artist David Shrigley - his bailiwick is very much the childishly grotesque (with a fair dollop of just taking the piss). I saw an exhibition of his drawings at the Hayward Gallery a few years ago and it was genuinely the funniest thing I've ever seen in an art space.
posted by sobarel at 8:56 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's not that scary. Now, Tamworth's mascot...
posted by Auz at 8:56 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


I AM THE DEVOURING SUN!!!! WORSHIP ME!!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:01 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


Kingsley the terrifying star creature replaced beloved former Thistle mascot Jaggy MacBee

Jaggy is easily more terrifying.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:03 AM on June 22, 2015


Also their new logo is awesome, I love it.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:04 AM on June 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


Saint Mirren have a panda, Kilmarnock a squirrel, Rangers have a bear, now Thistle have a WTF IS THAT?????
posted by DZ-015 at 9:07 AM on June 22, 2015


Jaggy doesn't look as self-consciously malevolent as our star demon friend here. Jaggy looks like he'd idly sting you to death on an impulse of curiosity, staring blankly as you writhe in agony, not fully comprehending what he'd done.
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:07 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


I can't believe they did away with that magnificently ridiculous bee in favour of this firey celestial monstrosity.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:09 AM on June 22, 2015


Daddy, make the bad Sun Man stop.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:10 AM on June 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


Yeah, I'm slightly mad I bought my Thistle jersey when I saw them play last month rather than waiting for the new, wonderful logo.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:10 AM on June 22, 2015


"I can't believe they did away with that magnificently ridiculous bee in favour of this firey celestial monstrosity."

Only a Thistle fan could construct such a sentence.
posted by DZ-015 at 9:13 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


it's like the discworld book where susan has to rescue the tooth fairy and the hogfather from the creepy assassin teatime and they get to that terrible magical land where everything looks like it was drawn by an extremely manic child. this mascot abomination is the hideous sun which shone down upon that tooth-riddled hellscape.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:14 AM on June 22, 2015


It's almost definitely intentionally bad, right? Designed to get retweets and through-clicks and whatnot. Simply too inexplicable to be unintentional. Please tell me I'm correct.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:14 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


The only explanation is that it's a Super-Sentai kind of thing, and they will unveil 4 more mascots which will, in times of crisis, join together to make a massive kaiju-fighting orrery.

IT"S THE ONLY EXPLANATION!!!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:18 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


I love David Shrigley.
posted by dng at 9:19 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THAT SUN HAS ABSORBED THAT MAN YOU CAN MAKE OUT HIS FACE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
posted by Going To Maine at 9:21 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's almost definitely intentionally bad, right? Designed to get retweets and through-clicks and whatnot. Simply too inexplicable to be unintentional. Please tell me I'm correct.

They're retweeting plenty of criticism of it.
posted by alby at 9:21 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's like they asked the "Beast Jesus" artist to recreate Lisa Simpson from memory
posted by surazal at 9:22 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is the endgame on Google's AI hallucination project.
posted by cortex at 9:25 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's an angry, but very approachable, sun. :)

nb do not approach immense firey balls of gas, not even if it looks like it is offering you a hug.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:25 AM on June 22, 2015


all I can see
posted by jason_steakums at 9:26 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


The New Orleans Pelicans also had recent airballs in the mascot department.

Pierre the Pelican was followed by the King Cake Baby.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:28 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


Meanwhile, stateside:

what is this

I mean, this is all I can think of
posted by Existential Dread at 9:29 AM on June 22, 2015


dammit Cool Papa Bell
posted by Existential Dread at 9:30 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


jesus chrst what the fuck is that baby
posted by poffin boffin at 9:30 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
posted by eriko at 9:40 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


Keep in mind this is the same island that came up with this thing. It may look like a simple monkey costume, but that monkey was shipwrecked, somehow came ashore in Hartlepool, was tried by local authorities as a French spy and sentenced to death by hanging.

That said, the softest spot in my heart for a mascot will always be the anthropomorphic ball of cotton that represented the Lubbock Cotton Kings. Plus, check out the jersey for an angry, toothless ball of cotton waving a hockey stick menacingly.
posted by Copronymus at 9:43 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


I ONLY WANT TO BATHE YOU IN ULTRAVIOLET
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:45 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


Whenever you see a logo, mascot, or other bit of commercial art, always keep in mind that it is the product of myriad proposed designs, sometimes from many different designers, followed by rounds and rounds of adjustments and refinements.

And then you can gain an appreciation for the dozens of designs that were not good enough to represent ConHugeCo Sportsball Franchise, LLC.
posted by ardgedee at 9:45 AM on June 22, 2015


I remain disappointed that the SF Giants decided to go with a predictably cute and friendly animal mascot instead of sticking with the Mad Servitor of Dagon
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:47 AM on June 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


poffin boffin: jesus chrst what the fuck is that baby

A pretty decent enlargement of the baby from a King Cake. He brings good fortune and nightmares!
posted by filthy light thief at 9:47 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


no, i mean, i know what a king cake baby is but MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING

any cake that came in would be baked in the fires of hell itself
posted by poffin boffin at 9:49 AM on June 22, 2015


Meanwhile, Boltman is basically Mac Tonite if he took enough steroids that his head flipped from concave to convex
posted by Existential Dread at 9:51 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


I can't believe they did away with that magnificently ridiculous bee in favour of this firey celestial monstrosity.

I kind of prefer the sun in that, unlike the bee, it doesn't seem like it's going to expect me to thank it for eating my soul. I appreciate that.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:02 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]




I always get weirded out by Mr. Met.

I mean, it's not even a full body costume. It's just a dude with the kind of mask you'd find in the back of a serial killer's panel van. It's as if Leatherface loved him some National League ball.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:24 AM on June 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


That's my local football club! Not that I support any teams, but I bike past their grounds almost every single day. Also, David Shrigley is fab - wonder if the humour will translate well?
posted by kariebookish at 10:27 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


I've always identified as a Thistle fan, as they're the only one you can safely support in Glasgow without someone in the wrong part of town wanting to stab you.
posted by scruss at 10:32 AM on June 22, 2015 [4 favorites]


It's like Maggie Simpson and her nemesis fused.
posted by steganographia at 10:45 AM on June 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


GET IN THE EVA, SHINJI
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:00 AM on June 22, 2015 [2 favorites]


AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

KILL IT WITH....

Actually, I don't know. Fire? Water? Herbicide?

...WHATEVER KILLS THAT THING!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
posted by eriko at 11:05 AM on June 22, 2015 [1 favorite]


That is not dead which can eternal rise
And with strange aeons even suns may die
posted by griphus at 11:12 AM on June 22, 2015 [5 favorites]


It's bloody Shrigley. Go and listen to his Forced To Speak With Others album on Youtube. They knew what they were doing.

(Me: "It's pure Situationalism!" ScotsPerson:"Yes, that's exactly what you'd expect a Partick Thistle supporter to say.")
posted by Devonian at 12:31 PM on June 22, 2015 [3 favorites]


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