New York Times? Get a rope!
July 1, 2015 5:10 PM   Subscribe

The New York Times suggests putting peas in your guacamole. Following up on a suggestion it made two years ago, the Times is offering a guacamole recipe from ABC Cocina in Union Square: a collaboration between the restaurant's chef-owner, Jean-Georges Vongerichten, and his chef de cuisine, Ian Coogan, that contains green peas. The suggestion has been met with dismay from guacamole-lovers around the country, including the President himself. But it's not a political issue: in Texas, for instance, Republicans and Democrats alike agree that the New York Times shouldn't mess with guacamole.
posted by immlass (151 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm sure peas add an interesting starchy/chewy resistant texture but thinking about it I'd rather have fried garbanzo beans in mine?
posted by Annika Cicada at 5:12 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


what about grilling steak directly on charcoal? that was tough for me...#trolltoll
posted by brainimplant at 5:14 PM on July 1, 2015


I've had the guacamole with green peas at ABC Cocina. It's great. Not sure why this set off everyone on Twitter.
posted by Peter J. Prufrock at 5:15 PM on July 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


If it's good, it's good. People should not be overly fussy about recipe purity. This doesn't sound too good, though. Guacamole is wonderful because it's rich but light: spicy, acidic, but velvety-delicate, with only a bit of vegetal-greenness. Peas just sound like some awful wartime rationing or demented, ignorant Gringo fuck-up. But again, if it tastes good, there is no problem.
posted by clockzero at 5:17 PM on July 1, 2015 [34 favorites]


respect the nyt, but not buying peas in guac. onions, garlic, hot peppers. classic.

Taking bets now on which GOP 2016 candidate will be the first to issue a statement slamming Obama for his cowardly and unamerican refusal to add citrus
posted by kagredon at 5:18 PM on July 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


via John Scalzi: Peas don't belong in guacamole. - a touching song.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 5:18 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


The take it with no citrus in Kenya!!!
posted by nevercalm at 5:19 PM on July 1, 2015


Properly prepared guacamole is one of this bleak existence's true pleasures. The thought of peas invading it makes me want to gag.
posted by item at 5:19 PM on July 1, 2015 [14 favorites]


Metafilter: demented, ignorant Gringo fuck-up.
posted by immlass at 5:20 PM on July 1, 2015 [21 favorites]


MetaFilter: some awful wartime rationing or demented, ignorant Gringo fuck-up
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:20 PM on July 1, 2015 [14 favorites]


I am forced to assume the roasted jalapeno hides all the pea taste.
posted by unknowncommand at 5:21 PM on July 1, 2015


It's just... just... NO.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 5:21 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Corn gets added to guacamole all the time (although I find the product a little bland), so peas seem like they'd be ok too. Actually, peas sound like they might be better. Mostly guac needs more kick though, even the store-bought "spicy" guac is barely hot.
posted by JauntyFedora at 5:22 PM on July 1, 2015


Actually, adding peas to basil pesto is the answer you were looking for.

You're welcome.
posted by likeatoaster at 5:23 PM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


No chícharos in my guacamole, por favor.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 5:23 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


Kagredon: Jeb Bush and the TexasGOP are also anti-peaguac. I am convinced that even Rick Perry and Ted Cruz will only disagree with half of the President's tweet.

Salon weighs in:
“Adding fresh English peas to what is an otherwise fairly traditional guacamole is one of those radical moves that is also completely obvious after you taste it,” wrote Clark, lying through her liar teeth.
posted by Mad_Carew at 5:25 PM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


Corn gets added to guacamole all the time

You mean all the time sort of how "american cheese gets added to tacos all the time"

So yeah, no. No peas and no corn ever in any guacamole I've ever had (in Mexico) in my lifetime.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 5:26 PM on July 1, 2015 [10 favorites]


So, basically, NYT is in the pocket of Big Pea.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:26 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Missing the "fuckno" tag.
posted by mosk at 5:27 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


NYC isn't exactly known for its quality Mexican food.
posted by TrialByMedia at 5:27 PM on July 1, 2015 [24 favorites]


Years ago a friend of mine worked in a restaurant that added mayonnaise to its guacamole. Despite my near-constant pleas she refused to set fire to the kitchen and rid the earth of the wretched place.
posted by item at 5:27 PM on July 1, 2015 [31 favorites]


I guess my world is not rocked because I have seen this before in vegetarian/low-fat cookbooks. In "Appetite for Reduction", Isa Chandra Moskowitz has a recipe for "guacamame" (guac made with edamame to "lighten" the calorie load). "Passionate Vegetarian" by Crescent Dragonwagon has a "mock-a-mole" recipe, made with peas.

Respect to both authors, but I did not make either recipe when I read them years ago, and I will not make it now because some fancypants NYT writer, a chef-guy, and his sous chef-guy think it's a good idea. The reason guac tastes so good is because it's fatty. Cutting that tastiness with peas is Doing It Wrong.
posted by offalark at 5:31 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


And no one's mentioned the other blasphemy in this recipe: SUNFLOWER SEEDS???/???

Whyyyyyy????
posted by offalark at 5:33 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


NYC isn't exactly known for its quality Mexican food.

Just curious: when's the last time you've been to NYC, and where did you eat?
posted by neroli at 5:33 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Missing the "fuckno" tag. -mosk

FTFY
posted by Mad_Carew at 5:35 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


WTF? This is also all over my Facebook page. Not ONE person admitted to actually having tried it. Has anyone here tried it? If not, why are you complaining?

And how bad could it be? Both peas and guac are excellent foods, both fit into the sweet/savory category, both are vegan.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 5:36 PM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


NYC isn't exactly known for its quality Mexican food.

Just curious: when's the last time you've been to NYC, and where did you eat?


Im not that poster, but I've spent my entire life in NYC, and dude, trust me, Mexican food is not the hill we want to die on. There are a few solid spots, but Cali and Texas are always gonna have this one.
posted by Itaxpica at 5:37 PM on July 1, 2015 [35 favorites]


Just curious: when's the last time you've been to NYC, and where did you eat?

I think the last time I was there was in 2011. My then-girlfriend was really into this place in the St. Marks area that I can't remember the name of. It didn't taste much better than ground beef with Ortega seasoning to me.

In years since I've gotten married to an Angeleno. The Mexican food in LA is phenomenal.
posted by TrialByMedia at 5:38 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


How about green pea "hummus"? Has anybody tried that? Seems like it might have more vitamin/mineral content than chickpea hummus.
posted by amtho at 5:38 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Mashed up green peas isn't hummus. It's baby food.
posted by item at 5:40 PM on July 1, 2015 [36 favorites]


this place in the St. Marks area

FYI: not a lot of Mexican people living in the St. Marks area.

(Yes, I will die on this hill. LA and Chicago have more Mexican food, and they probably have better Mexican food, but anyone who says NYC has no good Mexican food is just repeating something they've heard or they've been too lazy to look for it.)
posted by neroli at 5:42 PM on July 1, 2015 [9 favorites]


Wasn't there a prominent sociologist who theorized that firm consensus and acceptance of small norms and issues (like guacamole) allowed humans to cope with huge sweeping changes in social issues?
posted by The Zeroth Law at 5:43 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


Stop trying to make peas a thing
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 5:43 PM on July 1, 2015 [12 favorites]


Actually, adding peas to basil pesto is the answer you were looking for.

Actually grilling all the gauc fixings is the answer you were looking for.
posted by Gygesringtone at 5:43 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


NYC isn't exactly known for its quality Mexican food.

I feel like - in NYC, if you walk into a restaurant that advertises "Mexican food", you're pretty like to get bad Mexican food.

If you actively seek out good Mexican restaurants, whether it's in the back of a bodega or gorgeously decorated, you'll find some amazing places.
posted by suedehead at 5:46 PM on July 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


Mostly guac needs more kick though, even the store-bought "spicy" guac is barely hot.

Isn't that like saying sour cream isn't spicy enough?
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:48 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


I put snap peas into a chicken salad over the weekend and it was delicious. I haven't tried any kind of pea in guac but I have a hard time seeing what the problem is here.

Are people picturing like the gross mushy peas from a can? Have those people never had the fresh shucked peas called for in the recipe? Because if so, I feel sorry for those people.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:51 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


If you actively seek out good Mexican restaurants, whether it's in the back of a bodega or gorgeously decorated, you'll find some amazing places.

I don't doubt that. I've had more types of good food in NYC than probably any other American city. But, to be "known" for your Mexican food, you shouldn't have to look too hard to find the good stuff. I don't have to look too hard in LA or Santa Barbara.
posted by TrialByMedia at 5:52 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


Peas in guacamole sounds like a way to stretch 4 avocados to serve 10 guac lovers by adding more green. Watering it down.

And I'm speaking as someone with a mild allergy to the beloved 'cados, causing an annoying itch in the back of my throat unless it's consumed together with something like salsa or even sour cream. Which works well inside a burrito, but I was forced to abandon trying to make a 'mixed dip' in front of any of my more sensitive friends, instead using a surreptitious 'double dip' move to get the guac and the salsa together on one chip. #seinfeldianproblems
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:55 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Bah, everyone knows that the best guacamole is made with baseballs and game pieces.
posted by effbot at 5:56 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


I was forced to abandon trying to make a 'mixed dip' in front of any of my more sensitive friends, instead using a surreptitious 'double dip' move to get the guac and the salsa together on one chip.

My mom used to make this dip that consisted of thin layers of guac, sour cream, refried beans, black olives, a top layer of shredded cheese, and so on- you could make something like that and maybe pour a bit of salsa over it.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:57 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Homemade guacamole is the best idk if I can ever go back to regular store bought, but I'm from Phoenix so maybe I'm a stickler. On the other hand I definitely love the guacamole that the Mexican market by my house makes in bulk. So cheap too.
posted by gucci mane at 6:00 PM on July 1, 2015


I much prefer avocado in my pea soup.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:02 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


I'd be more willing to believe this if I didn't have a sneaking suspicion that much of the NYT staff pronounces "guacamole" as goo-uh-camel.
posted by Etrigan at 6:05 PM on July 1, 2015 [8 favorites]


Guacamole is a salsa fresca. Every ingredient (with the exception of salt) is fresh and uncooked. So, unless you plan on eating your peas raw, they have no place in guacamole...
posted by jim in austin at 6:05 PM on July 1, 2015 [13 favorites]


The only unconventional guacamole I'm interested in trying would be made with the tears of New York Times writers.
posted by item at 6:06 PM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


Every ingredient (with the exception of salt) is fresh and uncooked

I like toasting the chopped peppers and garlic I put in mine a bit to mellow them out a bit and add a bit of flavor.

But that is not the same as adding fucking peas, so I will not be too upset with myself.
posted by flaterik at 6:09 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


Over this issue alone may I at last join with the nutcases calling for southern re-secession. Political debates are nice, but guacamole is serious. GET THEE BEHIND ME, MUSHY YANKEE PEA SATAN.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:12 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


I eat my peas with guacamole,
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste unholy,
But it keeps them on the knife!
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:12 PM on July 1, 2015 [24 favorites]


I just hope that all the restaurants/pot-luck participants who decide to make this a 'thing' disclose their 'secret' 'don't worry, you'll love it!' ingredient, otherwise there are a lot of us guac fans who are also allergic to peas who are going to wind up sick/dead. ::grumble:: (Used to be I just had to worry about the 'secret ingredient' peanut butter in the chili, now we've got peas in the guac, too. ::grumble grumble::)
posted by skye.dancer at 6:13 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]




The New York Times suggests putting peas in your guacamole.

"Hold on thar! It says that this here guacamole was made in New York City!"

"NEW YORK CITY?!?!?"
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:21 PM on July 1, 2015 [14 favorites]


I find peas so revolting that frozen supermarket peas can make me unhappy just from the photo on the bag. The very idea of pea guacamole is akin to ice cream smoothly blended with bile.

This is even worse than the tub of Publix "guacamole dip" I almost bought that listed no avocado in the ingredients.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:23 PM on July 1, 2015 [13 favorites]


"NEW YORK CITY?!?!?"

Slowly I turned...step by step...inch by inch...
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:23 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


I'm sure those goddamn wellness warriors had something to do with this.
posted by drlith at 6:25 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


I don't even like onions in my guacamole. A small shallot, maybe. And no tomato, it just makes it wet. And I can appreciate the fresh flavor of peas in some things, but guacamole is not that thing.

(Now, black-eyed pea hummus? Unf.)
posted by Lyn Never at 6:28 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


The Times should keep going with this. Tomorrow, Canadian Lentil Board Hummus.

Ingredients
1 (19 oz/540 mL) can green lentils, drained and rinsed
½ cup (125 mL) fat-free ranch dressing
½ tsp (2 mL) curry powder
2 garlic cloves

posted by Drinky Die at 6:33 PM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


I'm a die-hard guac snob, ever since I lived in SoCal. The best guac is: mine, made fresh.

However, I made guac with peas last month, following this Blue Apron recipe.. It was pretty good. The pistachios were a good addition ttoo.

Methinks the NYT writer made it from Blue Apron. Not so original news.
posted by Dashy at 6:35 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


flaterik: I like toasting the chopped peppers and garlic I put in mine a bit to mellow them out a bit and add a bit of flavor

Try it with serranos. They have a wonderful fresh, green flavor raw. Much tastier than jalapeños. Oh, and to expand a bit on the formula, there's never any dairy in guacamole, ever...
posted by jim in austin at 6:36 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


I'm feeling conflicted about this. I'm intrigued by the idea of adding the sweetness of peas to a guacamole. But, on the other hand, I'm also turned off by the idea of adding in all of the other pea-like qualities. Maybe it all adds up to a net positive? I guess I'll just have to try it.

At least they didn't suggest putting cheddar cheese in a burrito.
posted by mhum at 6:43 PM on July 1, 2015


With guacamole, the perfection lies in simplicity. It's the perfect balancing of a small number of ingredients. Mess with that and of course you will receive criticism. It's just none of us could have predicted how much unequivocal consensus wrath could really come out of this. We all learned something today.
posted by naju at 6:46 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Who pea'd in your guacamole?
posted by rhizome at 6:50 PM on July 1, 2015 [6 favorites]


It's only hummus if you have chickpeas and tahini. Any other legume and it's some other dip.
posted by Small Dollar at 6:52 PM on July 1, 2015 [7 favorites]


The New York City / Texas trope feels too tired and worn out to be funny anymore.
posted by humanfont at 6:59 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is wrong. I like peas. I like guacamole. But this is not a Reese's Cup scenario. You don't have to put all the things in all the other things all the time! End the madness!
posted by angeline at 7:03 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


Try it with serranos. They have a wonderful fresh, green flavor raw.

Absolutely! I actually rarely use jalapeños - I am much more likely to do a serrano and, if I'm using enough avocados for it to not be too overwhelming, a habanero. The latter has to be chopped very finely, and I typically add the toasted garlic and peppers to the chopped tomato citrus and salt and mix that up thoroughly so that can be distributed well amongst the avocado without mushing all of the chunks completely - I am very particular about the degree of mashing the avocado undergoes, and strive for a certain ratio of chunk to mush.

This is all of course merely in service of Guacamole That Erik Likes Best. I don't really care about authenticity or Bestness... I just know what I like!
posted by flaterik at 7:09 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Avocado is a powerful and magnanimous fruit that encourages experimentation and diversity.

Try your fancy version. If it doesn't work, the next Avocado will welcome a return to the familiar classics.
posted by mullacc at 7:10 PM on July 1, 2015


I like to make a -- well I don't know what to call it -- that is effectively a guacamole recipe to which is added an equal amount of finely diced raw salmon.

I also tend to add a good glug of an aromatic extra virgin olive oil to guacamole.

In either case I never mash. Chunks only.
posted by slkinsey at 7:18 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


At Tortas Frontera (Rick Bayless' chain - multiple locations in O'Hare, definitely worth stopping if you are there for any reason) they have a Guacamole Bar where you can get toppings like sun-dried tomatoes, pepitas, bacon, cheese, etc. Blasphemous? A little. But also delicious.

I wouldn't waste fresh peas on this, but maybe I'll try making this with some frozen peas the next time I have leftover avocados. It doesn't sound that bad, other than the sunflower seeds.
posted by Fig at 7:19 PM on July 1, 2015


Melissa Clark's columns on how to make a quick dinner have always seemed to me like the genesis of "I didn't have X so I used Y instead." That she is putting green peas in guacamole is a perfectly natural evolution.
posted by mudpuppie at 7:25 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Guacamole itself should be bright and fresh, but not very "hot." One of it's functions is to provide a velvety, flavorful, cooling effect on the tongue.

When the guacamole itself is spicy, this can't happen.
posted by yesster at 7:27 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


And peas? No.
posted by yesster at 7:27 PM on July 1, 2015


Somebody actually visualized whirled peas.
posted by zadcat at 7:30 PM on July 1, 2015 [23 favorites]


I really hope anyone considering adding frozen peas to guacamole stops to consider the possibility that they're just being trolled by the NY Times. (We here in California are pretty used to it.)
posted by mubba at 7:30 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


I though the New York Times had a fact-checking department, because anything as obviously wrong as peas in guac should never have made it into print.

Guacamole itself should be bright and fresh, but not very "hot." One of it's functions is to provide a velvety, flavorful, cooling effect on the tongue.

When the guacamole itself is spicy, this can't happen.


I have been served a lot of extraordinarily spicy guacamole in Mexico, as well as some non-spicy versions. I don't know if it is a regional thing or what, but the idea of it being purely a bland/creamy dish is not universal.

I like to make a -- well I don't know what to call it -- that is effectively a guacamole recipe to which is added an equal amount of finely diced raw salmon.

That sounds like one of those midcentury aspic dishes that are simultaneously horrifying and fascinating. Add some pineapple chunks, put some faux-whipped cream on top, and you would be ready for the cover of a 1960s cookbook.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:33 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


By now this thread is giving me a synesthetic surge of nausea-taste every time I see the word "pea." I'm trapped here by the masochistic thrill. MUFASA PEAS PEAS PEAS
posted by nicebookrack at 7:34 PM on July 1, 2015


I'm kind of a traditionalist when it comes to basic recipes like guacamole, hummus and pesto. Slight variations are ok, but I'm not into peas in my guac. I'm ok with fusion too, but not when it doesn't work, and adding corn isn't that creative. A dear friend recently made pesto with pumpkin seeds instead of pine nuts, without Parmigiano-Reggiano, or any cheese at all. I still love my friend, but her pesto was terrible.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:34 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Try it with serranos. They have a wonderful fresh, green flavor raw. Much tastier than jalapeños.

Green chile is also excellent, as long as it's Hatch and not Anaheim.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:36 PM on July 1, 2015


I had some delicious pea/mint pesto at a party a few weeks ago. On toasts with creme fraiche. I could see peas adding structure to guac. A suppose a lot of that problem then is mixing the avocados too much.
posted by frecklefaerie at 7:38 PM on July 1, 2015


Oh, and to expand a bit on the formula, there's never any dairy in guacamole, ever...

Actually, many of the peopke I know (again, I'm in Mexico) put a splash of milk in their guacamole with the belief that it helps it not turn brown so soon. Others use lime instead of milk for the same purpose.

If you ever have northern Mexico flautas, you'll see they are served with salsa cremosa which is usually a mixture of avocado, cream and green tomatillo. Looks like this.
posted by CrazyLemonade at 7:39 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


Lime is ok to help prevent oxidation of the avocados, but I'm not into milk. I'm in New Mexico, and lime is common, but dairy is unheard of.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:41 PM on July 1, 2015


Frozen peas are excellent for icing down sore body parts. That's about it.
posted by srboisvert at 7:42 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


> My mom used to make this dip that consisted of thin layers of guac, sour cream, refried beans, black olives, a top layer of shredded cheese, and so on

That's Seven-Layer Dip, FYI.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:49 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


[enters cautiously]

look, people

[glances around furtively]

all we are saying is

give peas a chance

[bursts into flames]
posted by prize bull octorok at 7:56 PM on July 1, 2015 [19 favorites]


"Authentic" is like the tourist version of "good" when it comes to food
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:17 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


No, this is great, and it will go well with the recipe I read for hummus made from silverbeet and my very own recipe for chocolate cake made from wet newspaper, iron filings, and spittle-flecked rage.

.

I WAS BEING SARCASTIC ACTUALLY.
posted by Joe in Australia at 8:18 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


> I've had the guacamole with green peas at ABC Cocina. It's great. Not sure why this set off everyone on Twitter.

It's also all over my Facebook page, and on reddit. So far almost no one has tried it, and those who have all seem to like it, but there are many dozens of people with very strong opinions and great certainty about something they have no first-hand knowledge of at all...

Very educational and I'll certainly bear it in mind in future.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 8:23 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


Authenticity is a trap for weak minds.
posted by aramaic at 8:29 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


I have been served a lot of extraordinarily spicy guacamole in Mexico, as well as some non-spicy versions. I don't know if it is a regional thing or what, but the idea of it being purely a bland/creamy dish is not universal.

I will try it. Enthusiastically. What are the preferred spice ingredients.
posted by yesster at 8:31 PM on July 1, 2015


I will try it. Enthusiastically. What are the preferred spice ingredients.

Serranos, I think, from the taste.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:35 PM on July 1, 2015


jim in austin: "So, unless you plan on eating your peas raw, they have no place in guacamole..."

Is eating uncooked peas supposed to be freaky or something like preferring uncooked eggs? Because I never cook fresh peas.
posted by Mitheral at 8:41 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


You can cook peas? I just buy huge bags of peas-in-pods and 30 seconds after I get home I seem to have eaten them all.

Now I'm trying to imagine some sort of deviled avocado, where you make guacamole and then put it back in the avocado's skin.
posted by moonmilk at 8:45 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


chocolate cake made from wet newspaper, iron filings, and spittle-flecked rage.

I had a good LOL at the visual that conjured up in my imagination!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:46 PM on July 1, 2015


I eat my peas with guacamole;
I've done it all my life.
They do taste kind of funny,
But it keeps them on my knife.
posted by me3dia at 9:09 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


I guess my world is not rocked because I have seen this before in vegetarian/low-fat cookbooks. In "Appetite for Reduction", Isa Chandra Moskowitz has a recipe for "guacamame" (guac made with edamame to "lighten" the calorie load). "Passionate Vegetarian" by Crescent Dragonwagon has a "mock-a-mole" recipe, made with peas.

Mollie Katzen did it even earlier with her "GuacaMollie," or pea guacamole, in Vegetable Heaven. I tried that, years ago. It was OK but honestly, why have OK when you can have sublime?
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:13 PM on July 1, 2015


Actually, many of the peopke I know (again, I'm in Mexico) put a splash of milk in their guacamole with the belief that it helps it not turn brown so soon. Others use lime instead of milk for the same purpose.

The only thing that really works for that is putting a piece of plastic wrap directly on top of the guac, so that no air can touch it.

I use lime because it tastes good (and because Deborah Madison says so, and this recipe is so universally loved by me and everyone I've ever served it to, so I have no intention of changing any time soon).
posted by dlugoczaj at 9:17 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


The only reason I can think to do this would be because avocados cost one million dollars where I live.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:20 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon, Tomato sammiches is Best Sammy. LGBTsFTW.

Edit: Sugar snap peas on the side.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:38 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


"Isn't that like saying sour cream isn't spicy enough?"

wassup im spicy crema we should meet

"Authenticity is a trap for weak minds."

Not bullshit: Pea and avocado dip

Bullshit: Guacamole.

Authenticity is a trap but there's also a way to not be oblivious about why these shibboleths happen and how Elitist Liberals+Ethnic Tonedeafery = Authenticity Backlash. Plus, people got them opinions about how they eat so of course I gotta say that the sheer number of bland, gloopy "guacamoles" out there [$cred == "worked at Midwest Mexican; now live in LA and see my sins before me"] means that haas+lime+(red onion|shallot)+cilantro+salt are sine qua non, jalapeños|serranos and tomatoes are optional, and garlic is pushing it. But Christ, it's literally over 500 years old with nearly identical ingredients and preparation. The more you deviate, the more people you'll piss off by calling it "guacamole."
posted by klangklangston at 10:24 PM on July 1, 2015 [4 favorites]


A dear friend recently made pesto with pumpkin seeds instead of pine nuts, without Parmigiano-Reggiano, or any cheese at all.

Since classic pesto Genovese is usually made with pecorino, I`m not sure why that`s a problem.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:39 PM on July 1, 2015


I was just reading this thread feeling too shitty about life to comment, but then I took my chronic joint pain medication. So I wanted to share a guacamole moment. With you.

I am less-than-lethally allergic to fresh avocados and guacamole, but I only react to the Hass variety, which happens to be the main type used where I now live in Los Angeles. Coming to terms with the fact that I can no longer devour nature's most perfect creation on a daily basis has put me through a legitimate 5-step grieving process, and I have considered multiple times that I should move back home so I could once again taste nature's most perfect creation every day.

Back in my home state of Florida, you usually find huge ones the size of basketballs with a lighter green skin, a slightly blander and less nutty flavor, but far more yield per fruit. So they're perfect if you're real hungry and want to just demolish an entire beach ball-sized avocado by yourself using a spoon and a tentative sprinkle of salt, followed by a more assertive one, which causes its tender buttery flesh to shine, the pooled moisture like dew upon its glistening, exposed seed cavity, beckoning like Nature's very own savory pudding cup. Also, they are way more fun to huck at your friend and then he cries and your mom has to come pick you up and you feel shitty about it for a week but by next week you're playing Genesis again and he assures you it's all good.

Oh, so about Peas. Whatever, throw 'em in. Don't care. Long as it still contains some major league avocado and some bangin Mexican spices and appropriately lowered pH, I'm down to welcome guests to the pool. You can pea in my pool. I won't be all like "Peas out."

I think you can find the big Florida ones nationwide as "Slimcados" (marketed as some kind of "low fat" high-moisture alternacados) but I'm scared to test if they're safe, because having itchy hives on the palms of your hands and the soles of your feet for 4 hours will make you hallucinate with agony every time, no matter how many times.

Man I really miss avocados. WTF.
posted by jake at 10:46 PM on July 1, 2015 [5 favorites]


Peter Mandelson
posted by fallingbadgers at 10:49 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'd be more willing to believe this if I didn't have a sneaking suspicion that much of the NYT staff pronounces "guacamole" as goo-uh-camel.

once I saw someone on a PBS cooking show call pronounce the last syllable "mole" (as in, "I had to have the mole on my back removed and tested for cancer", rhymes with "bowl")

i imagine that is how you would pronounce this baby food dish monstrosity of sin
posted by NoraReed at 11:21 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]


oh but in good avocado news, RealAvocadoFact is back on Twitter. their take is "ok since there's no way to consume ethically under capitalism, everybody can put any vegetables in anything they want"
posted by NoraReed at 11:22 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]


Keep avocado out of mushy peas!
posted by biffa at 11:44 PM on July 1, 2015 [1 favorite]


Peas in guac? Not sure I understand the point - that would water it down. Maybe to make the recipe cheaper to make?

That reminds me of a Chinese restaurant up here on the North Shore of MA that uses mayonnaise as a binding ingredient. Some people love it. I think it's an abomination, but that's my general opinion of mayo anyway.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 12:05 AM on July 2, 2015


All we are saying, is give peas a chance.
posted by Segundus at 12:06 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Peas??? You don't have peas in...you cant put peas in guac, unless you stick them in...and that'd be weird, you... Oh, go on. Put some peas in it.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:16 AM on July 2, 2015


demented, ignorant Gringo fuck-up

...is the name of my terrible, terrible Los Lobos tribute band.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:19 AM on July 2, 2015 [12 favorites]


Kenny Shopsin once recommended making banana guacamole. Haven't tried it myself, but it sounds crazy enough to try at least once, I suppose.
posted by Sticherbeast at 2:15 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


As I said elsewhere, I might put guacamole ON my peas, but I would not put peas IN my guacamole. There's a difference.
posted by jscalzi at 3:17 AM on July 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


This makes about as much sense as adding peas to carrot cake.

I think it's time to reunite Tejas y Coahuila before things get further out of hand.
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:32 AM on July 2, 2015


Corn gets added to guacamole all the time

Nice use of the passive voice.

"I don't know! It just got added!"
posted by Devils Rancher at 5:35 AM on July 2, 2015 [17 favorites]


nounce the last syllable "mole" (as in, "I had to have the mole on my back removed and tested for cancer", rhymes with "bowl")

There was an absolutely precious moment in some 50's era British film in which a party hostess recommends to a guest: "You must try a mar-gwer-ita. It's a wonderful blend of triple sec, lemon juice and teh-kwilla!"
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:02 AM on July 2, 2015


These recipe authenticity arguments come up like clockwork on the internets. Allowable pizza toppings. Beans in chili. Definition of barbecue.
Everyone who wants to appear passionate about food publicly loses their shit for a few hours and those of us who will try anything once shrug and move on.
It's some kind of societal pressure release valve or something.
posted by rocket88 at 6:14 AM on July 2, 2015 [7 favorites]


lupus_yonderboy: So far almost no one has tried it, and those who have all seem to like it, but there are many dozens of people with very strong opinions and great certainty about something they have no first-hand knowledge of at all...

So... the internet, then? :-)

But I do take your point. There are an awful lot of people crying bloody murder about this idea who haven't tried it and aren't ever going to try it. As others have observed, guacamole is one of those things people seem to be very dogmatic about -- just like beans in chili con carne and pineapple on pizza (both of which, I must admit, are heresy in my book). Even within fairly orthodox preparations, there is already plenty of room for impassioned argument. Garlic? Onion? Tomatoes? Cilantro? Lime juice? Vinegar? Hot sauce? Hot chili peppers? Dairy? Chunky, smooth or somewhere in the middle? Wars have been fought over questions such as these. So maybe just think of it as a vaguely Mexican- or TexMexican-style dip/sauce that incorporates a puree of delicious fresh peas together with delicious avocados.

dlugoczaj: The only thing that really works [to prevent browning] is putting a piece of plastic wrap directly on top of the guac, so that no air can touch it.

The problem is that you have already exposed the avocado to a good bit of oxygen simply by preparing the guacamole Needless to say, the more the guacamole is mixed and the more the avocado is broken up, the more the avocado is exposed to oxygen. There are things you can do to mitigate this, such as adding acidic ingredients or a coating fatty ingredient like olive oil. But there is really nothing you can do in a home context that will prevent the guacamole from losing brightness over time. True, you can mitigate this effect a bit by pressing a layer of plastic wrap over the surface (or better yet, putting down a thin layer of oil and pressing a layer of plastic wrap on top of that) but these are stopgap measures at best. I have a chamber vacuum machine that's able to pull a hard enough vacuum to boil water at room temperature. I've been able to keep a vacuum sealed half-avocado in the refrigerator for a week with effectively no browning on the cut surface. But even with this technology there's no way I could do that with guacamole.
posted by slkinsey at 7:09 AM on July 2, 2015


So maybe just think of it as a vaguely Mexican- or TexMexican-style dip/sauce that incorporates a puree of delicious fresh peas together with delicious avocados.

If you look at the photo in the article, it's not a puree. It's actual peas. And as mentioned repeatedly in this thread, a lot of people like guacamole for the texture (also a factor in adding beans to chili, fwiw), so the change in texture isn't going to work for them and they don't have to try it to know that.

An interesting fact about avocados and food texture that I learned a few years ago: apparently the reason why avocados are used in sushi rolls (e.g., the California roll) is that they simulate the mouth feel of certain kinds of fatty fish that you couldn't get in California in the period when sushi rolls were becoming a thing. Mouth feel/texture is a real thing in both adding to and subtracting from the food experience.
posted by immlass at 7:54 AM on July 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


give peas a chance

Damn you, prize bull octorok. I was scrolling through the thread hoping no-one had made that joke yet so I could make it.
posted by talitha_kumi at 8:06 AM on July 2, 2015


If you look at the photo in the article, it's not a puree. It's actual peas. And as mentioned repeatedly in this thread, a lot of people like guacamole for the texture (also a factor in adding beans to chili, fwiw), so the change in texture isn't going to work for them and they don't have to try it to know that.

If you read the article rather than just looking at the picture, you will discover that the peas are pureed and that only 2 tablespoons of whole peas are reserved for use as a garnish. This for a guacamole made with three avocados. That's what? Four garnish peas per avocado? Needless to say, if someone doesn't like the texture of whole peas in this context they can only use the pea puree. Just like someone who didn't like the texture of big chunks of onion (etc.) could cut them smaller. Meanwhile, the textural implications of a whole pea garnish aren't any more significant than those of diced tomato or whatever. Someone who wants a smooth and creamy seasoned avocado paste clearly won't like any texture component. It's possible to make an iteration of this recipe -- including the use of fresh peas -- and satisfy these textural preferences.

Bottom line: there have been plenty of things I've made for people who insist that THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE WAY TO MAKE THIS THING, and yet when they try my way they often say it's the best they've ever had. The best example is making someone from the "wave to the vermouth from across the room" school a Martini with equal parts London dry gin and a high quality, fresh extra dry vermouth. But another good example is guacamole with extra virgin olive oil. Both are things that violated the strictures of their dogma, and both were things they loved. I personally haven't had guacamole(or whatever you want to call it) with peas in it, but I don't have any trouble believing it could be interesting and delicious. I like avocados. I love English peas fresh from the greenmarket (I don't think this would work with frozen peas). They could be great together. I have been known to make guacamole in a wide variety of styles, and this could be an interesting idea to add to that repertoire. Not for nothing, but Jean-Georges Vongerichten isn't exactly known for recipes that don't taste good.
posted by slkinsey at 8:31 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


I have a chamber vacuum machine that's able to pull a hard enough vacuum to boil water at room temperature. I've been able to keep a vacuum sealed half-avocado in the refrigerator for a week with effectively no browning on the cut surface. But even with this technology there's no way I could do that with guacamole.

I bet you don't even need a vacuum, though. Perhaps you could prepare and store it in an atmosphere of pure nitrogen and avoid oxidation altogether. Maybe with a glove box?
posted by indubitable at 8:34 AM on July 2, 2015


Oh, if only I could afford a chamber machine that would also do gas flushing! (drooooooool)
posted by slkinsey at 8:36 AM on July 2, 2015


Someone who wants a smooth and creamy seasoned avocado paste clearly won't like any texture component.

My first thoughts when I looked at the picture were 1. ZOMG it's like the cheap Chinese place out in little Chinatown on Bellaire Boulevard where we don't eat the fried rice because it has cans of mixed vegetables thrown in and 2. that's for putting in a burrito, not for dipping, because there aren't any visible avocado chunks. For those who enjoy pea puree, more for you! But the texture stuff is an issue and the "you're all philistines because you don't want to taste some fusion version of your comfort food made by someone outside your food tradition" is just boring. Guacamole is not broke and it does not need fixing or dressing up to attend fancy chef dinners.

Also all this debate about preserving the guacamole is sad. Guacamole is best when eaten immediately!
posted by immlass at 8:48 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


50 shades of...
posted by Wordshore at 8:48 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Also all this debate about preserving the guacamole is sad. Guacamole is best when eaten immediately!

It's one of those "leftover crack" situations. Just almost never happens.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:02 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Guacamole is not broke

I don't think anybody, including the NYT, is saying "no one should ever make guacamole any other way than this!" They're saying "this is a pleasant variation on traditional guacamole for you to try. If you like it, great. If not, no big loss.

Reading this thread is like listening to a bunch of four-year-old kids tearfully refusing to eat item-A on the plate because it got touched by item-B. There isn't a dish you eat, and cherish--including guacamole--that doesn't have a long history of tinkering, variation, addition and subtraction. The Aztecs didn't put lime or cilantro in their guacamole; somebody had to think "hey, you know what would make an interesting addition to this?" And no doubt the first person who put lime in a guacamole had to put up with his/her friends and family saying 'what, are you crazy? Guacamole ain't broke, so why are you trying to fix it!?!"

All food is "fusion" food. There's no "pure" or "original" form of any cuisine. We should always be willing to at least try new foods and new variations on old foods, otherwise we might as well give up and refuse to cook or eat anything that isn't in the first edition of Mrs. Beaton.
posted by yoink at 10:17 AM on July 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


There's no "pure" or "original" form of any cuisine.

Caveman: "Since when we eat beetles with mastodon?"

Cavewoman: "Shut up! Eat, or no get berries in root-mush dessert!"

Caveman: "Berries!? Eurggh! That not how mom make root-mush."
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:51 AM on July 2, 2015 [4 favorites]


New York Times?
New York Times!
Ya think you're better than us?
Us?
Us.
U.S.
U.S.A.
NO WAY.
posted by FJT at 11:01 AM on July 2, 2015


Needless to say, the "Mastodon Helper" product never really caught on.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:38 AM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Or did it catch on way too well?
posted by Etrigan at 11:46 AM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


Pea Guacamole Defenders Step Up - Katie Rogers, NYT, July 2nd:
“Peas smeaz,” Liz Biro, the food writer said on Twitter. “They didn’t matter in guacamole after all.”

Amy Bartner, the Star’s digital engagement manager, had a message for everyone who sent an incensed tweet:

“It just tastes like guacamole,” Ms. Bartner said. “It’s just not that deep, Internet. Just not that deep.”
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 12:00 PM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


"The Aztecs didn't put lime or cilantro in their guacamole; somebody had to think "hey, you know what would make an interesting addition to this?" And no doubt the first person who put lime in a guacamole had to put up with his/her friends and family saying 'what, are you crazy? Guacamole ain't broke, so why are you trying to fix it!?!""

The thing is, for nine times out of ten, they're right that guacamole ain't broke and the "fixes" make it worse.

The other thing you ignored is that while fusion and innovation are inherently part of cuisine, that doesn't mean that the results are the same dish. Hummus is made with chickpeas; you can make a puree dip that's similar out of, say, edamame, but it's not hummus. It's a pureed soybean dip. That's why we call 'em "margaritas" instead of "tequila daisies."
posted by klangklangston at 12:01 PM on July 2, 2015


The thing is, for nine times out of ten, they're right that guacamole ain't broke and the "fixes" make it worse.

Only one way to find out.
posted by aramaic at 12:07 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


that doesn't mean that the results are the same dish.

That's why the recipe is called "Green Pea Guacamole" and not "Authentic, Good Ol' Fashioned Guacamole, Just Like Your Abuela Used To Make With Not A Single Ingredient Changed We Promise."

They are completely upfront in the whole thing that this is a variation on guacamole; they're not putting this recipe forward as some canonical guacamole recipe.
posted by yoink at 12:12 PM on July 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


That's why we call 'em "margaritas" instead of "tequila daisies."

Speak for yerself, pal!
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:13 PM on July 2, 2015


POTUS weighs in.

It's definitely a cultural thing. People in the Southwest don't care what the NY Times has to say about, say, cheesecake, in the same way. But guacamole is our thing, and we really like it. It's probably true that it's perfectly fine with peas. But it's the fact of the NYT coming in to say so that sets people off.

I don't eat guacamole a lot, I'm not particularly "rAwr, my region is best!1!!" but I still instinctively bristled.

Food passions are not logical things.
posted by emjaybee at 12:13 PM on July 2, 2015


"They didn’t matter in guacamole after all."
"It just tastes like guacamole"


So then they admit that the recipe's published description is a flat-out lie in the first place?

Adding fresh English peas [is] completely obvious after you taste it. The peas add intense sweetness and a chunky texture to the dip ...

New theory: NYT posted an utterly bogus recipe just to get attention. Yay, thread over, we can all go home and gear up for the next big ballyhoo, whee.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:22 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


flaterik: "Try it with serranos. They have a wonderful fresh, green flavor raw.

Absolutely! I actually rarely use jalapeños - I am much more likely to do a serrano and, if I'm using enough avocados for it to not be too overwhelming, a habanero. The latter has to be chopped very finely, and I typically add the toasted garlic and peppers to the chopped tomato citrus and salt and mix that up thoroughly so that can be distributed well amongst the avocado without mushing all of the chunks completely - I am very particular about the degree of mashing the avocado undergoes, and strive for a certain ratio of chunk to mush.

This is all of course merely in service of Guacamole That Erik Likes Best. I don't really care about authenticity or Bestness... I just know what I like!
"j

You're expecting us to believe that a FLAT PERSON likes guacamole?
posted by scrump at 12:27 PM on July 2, 2015



If you actively seek out good Mexican restaurants, whether it's in the back of a bodega or gorgeously decorated, you'll find some amazing places.
posted by suedehead at 8:46 PM on July 1 [5 favorites +][!]



i was like "nah, it can't be the same gorgeously decorated place i found... i mean there's like 80 billion mexican places with wacko decorations" clicked on your link... and yep. that's the place.

I took my mom to NYC one christmas and she said she really wanted somem mexican food. I searched on yelp and that gorgeously decorated place as highly recommended. it was very good.
posted by sio42 at 12:29 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


That's why we call 'em "margaritas" instead of "tequila daisies."

Pernicious nonsense! It's a Tequila Sidecar. Besides, everyone knows you need carbonated water to make a Daisy.
posted by slkinsey at 12:32 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Greg_Ace: "New theory: NYT posted an utterly bogus recipe just to get attention."

Hey, it beats having to foreground the African-American church burnings up higher on the page.
posted by rhizome at 12:36 PM on July 2, 2015 [4 favorites]


dlugoczaj: The only thing that really works [to prevent browning] is putting a piece of plastic wrap directly on top of the guac, so that no air can touch it.

That doesn't work for long. Saran wrap/clingfilm is permeable to oxygen. There's a couple companies that have worked out how to prevent oxidising in guac, there's some sort of pasteurization-ish process.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:37 PM on July 2, 2015


I'd be more willing to believe this if I didn't have a sneaking suspicion that much of the NYT staff pronounces "guacamole" as goo-uh-camel.
posted by Etrigan at 6:05 PM on July 1 [7 favorites +] [!]


I believe the correct pronunciation is whac-a-mole.
posted by Munching Langolier at 3:16 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


"That's why the recipe is called "Green Pea Guacamole" and not "Authentic, Good Ol' Fashioned Guacamole, Just Like Your Abuela Used To Make With Not A Single Ingredient Changed We Promise.""

You can call the first "White Guy Declares If You Have Any Concerns About Cultural Appropriation You're Just a Goddamned Child guacamole," when you post it to updog, but the second one is just "guacamole."
posted by klangklangston at 5:47 PM on July 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


I wonder how much of the reaction came from the wording of the Times tweet:
Add green peas to your guacamole. Trust us.
Trust you? It turns out I don't, and not just because you were Judith Miller's enabler, but because I don't have any confidence that the NYT is trustworthy on the subject of guac, a substance that is within my wheelhouse and outside of theirs. It may not have occurred to The Paper of Record that there were areas where they were not considered authoritative.

And diving down the rabbit hole of links, The Atlantic's brave pea guac experimenter tells us that the NYT suggested we all make guac on the wild side (with peas) in 1997, for Super Bowl XXXI. Maybe "Peas in Guac" is the "monocles are trendy!" of the NYT food section.
posted by Mad_Carew at 10:02 PM on July 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


the case agianst guacamole
i don't really pay attention to what barack obama tweets. but last week i was scrolling through my timeline and saw that your boy (ie some lowly staffer assigned to the task) tweeted: respect the nyt, but not buying peas in guac. onions, garlic, hot peppers. classic. WHAT DID YOU SAY, MY DUDE. IS THIS THE MAN I WOULD'VE VOTED FOR IF I CARED EVEN A LITTLE BIT ABOUT VOTING. what tf does he care about guacamole, i thought. then i logged onto facebook to find that no fewer than 137 people rage-linked a new york times recipe that suggested adding green peas to guacamole and bitches was flipping the fuck out, writing outraged status dissertations lamenting just how erroneous a choice that was. but guys: guacamole is disgusting. why aren't you all lathered up about things that matter, like motherfuckers who make chicken salad with too-big, uneven celery chunks and/or (gasp) put grapes in that shit!?
posted by the man of twists and turns at 9:02 PM on July 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


It's not quite enough for a post of its own - though soooo clooose - so I have to put it here:

STOOP SHRIMP
posted by moonmilk at 8:30 AM on July 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


oh god imagine the smell. I imagine the folks over in the foraging-in-Berkeley thread may also have some thoughts on the hygienic aspects
posted by kagredon at 10:07 AM on July 10, 2015


“I thought, ‘Man, that’s dirty if somebody’s gonna eat that,’ ” said Vinny V., who lives nearby on 74th Street and asked that his last name not be published for personal reasons. “What if a dog comes by and pees on it?

There's about a billion things wrong with stoop shrimp, but I'm pretty sure the issue you're going to have with dogs (and cats, rats, maybe pigeons?) is them eating your food. That stoop has been peed on before though, definitely.
posted by Fig at 3:47 PM on July 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


STOOP SHRIMP

Surely they are drying the shrimp, not cooking them.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:09 PM on July 10, 2015


Call: "Stoop shrimp."
Response: "Trunk muffins!"
posted by klangklangston at 10:20 PM on July 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


That's how all your coffee and cocoa beans are prepared, btw. They just leave them out in the sun like that. You've probably eaten and/or drunk a lot of bird poop.

Fancy tropical bird poop, but still.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:35 PM on July 11, 2015


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