“Maybe they're friendly.”
July 8, 2015 12:46 PM   Subscribe

Goosebumps [Official Trailer] [YouTube]
Upset about moving from a big city to a small town, teenager Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette) finds a silver lining when he meets the beautiful girl, Hannah (Odeya Rush), living right next door. But every silver lining has a cloud, and Zach’s comes when he learns that Hannah has a mysterious dad who is revealed to be R. L. Stine (Jack Black), the author of the bestselling Goosebumps series. It turns out that there is a reason why Stine is so strange… he is a prisoner of his own imagination – the monsters that his books made famous are real, and Stine protects his readers by keeping them locked up in their books. When Zach unintentionally unleashes the monsters from their manuscripts and they begin to terrorize the town, it’s suddenly up to Stine, Zach, and Hannah to get all of them back in the books where they belong.
posted by Fizz (78 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
Jumanji was pretty much the same idea, but not a self-referential franchising attempt. the studios are getting more and more desperate with this stuff!
posted by jamesay at 12:50 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


You lost me at Jack Black.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:55 PM on July 8, 2015 [7 favorites]


The trailer has the whole plot of the movie, so... don't watch it if you want to be surprised.
posted by smackfu at 12:58 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Wow, none of the jokes in that trailer land.
posted by sleeping bear at 1:03 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


the monsters that his books made famous are real, and Stine protects his readers by keeping them locked up in their books.

The underrated Wes Craven's New Nightmare used a similar premise. It was set in the real world -- Craven, Robert England, Heather Langenkamp and the always-cool John Saxon appear as themselves -- but suggested that there was a malevolent force that has always plagued humanity but was kept trapped in stories. Once the force was trapped in ANoES, it decided it liked being Freddy Kreuger, so if they didn't keep making the movies, it'd get out.

I always admired Craven for not only making a decent horror film, but also explaining in canon why there are so many mediocre Nightmare sequels.
posted by Gelatin at 1:04 PM on July 8, 2015 [28 favorites]


ya'll are too cranky that looks amazing
posted by contrarian at 1:05 PM on July 8, 2015 [7 favorites]


Came here to suggest Christopher Pike was the superior YA pulp author, and was not disappointed. It's not even close.
posted by absalom at 1:06 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


There's something strange in that neighborhood!
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 1:08 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


If this and Pixels make a lot of money I guess we can look forward to an endless future of things from BuzzFeed nostalgia listicles coming to life and trashing shit until thwarted by aging comedians
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:09 PM on July 8, 2015 [22 favorites]


This movie would be perfect with a refreshing glass of Pepsi Blue.
posted by svenni at 1:09 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


One day in fourth grade I picked up a book called How To Be Funny by a guy named "Jovial" Bob Stine. It was the craziest thing I'd ever read. That book did a whole lot to shape my sense of humor and a few years back I found a copy on eBay to give to my son. Years after I first read it, a guy named R. L. Stine hit it big with those Goosebumps book. They are the same person. True story!

My point is they should make a movie out of How to be Funny so everyone could see the trailer and talk about how bad the movie is gonna be.
posted by bondcliff at 1:11 PM on July 8, 2015 [15 favorites]


Gelatin: The underrated Wes Craven's New Nightmare used a similar premise.

I was about point out the same thing! Such a neat movie!
posted by brundlefly at 1:12 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Huh. This looks like it'll hit the tween demo but not satisfy the late 20s/early 30s folks with 'bumps nostalgia. I might see it.

Stine was fine but Pike had girls turning into raw meat craving alien monsters and kids getting sucked into Omega Man territory for having abortions. A whole other level of crazy.
posted by yellowbinder at 1:14 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


Ermahgerd, etc. etc.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:14 PM on July 8, 2015 [12 favorites]


OP gives away the entire story. So does the trailer, but still.
posted by Beholder at 1:18 PM on July 8, 2015


You lost me at Jack Black

He's really good on The Brink.
posted by Pope Guilty at 1:18 PM on July 8, 2015


The outline of this (kid is unhappy, meets new people, Something Isn't Right, everything turns out to be stupid) feels really true to the spirit of the Goosebumps books.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 1:18 PM on July 8, 2015 [9 favorites]


Is... Is this someone's OC AU fan fiction... For R.L. Stine?
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:22 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


ya'll are too cranky that looks amazing
posted by contrarian


Too perfect. And, sadly, while I was really hoping that contrarian was a newly created sock puppet who only posts against-the-grain comments in consensus-forming threads, it appears not to be the case. Though, it's not too late to fulfill your destiny, contrarian. It's not too late.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 1:23 PM on July 8, 2015 [7 favorites]


One day in fourth grade I picked up a book called How To Be Funny by a guy named "Jovial" Bob Stine. It was the craziest thing I'd ever read.

Oh, to once again have my oft-thumbed copy of Blips, The First Book of Video Game Funnies! Cutting-edge gags for the Atari 2600 generation!
posted by Shepherd at 1:32 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Man, I wish they had made a Danny Dunn movie. And whatever happened to the proposed Encyclopedia Brown movie?

Sheesh, us Gen Xers are always getting left out, squeezed by the Boomers and their Millenial progeny.
posted by Nevin at 1:36 PM on July 8, 2015 [11 favorites]


One day in fourth grade I picked up a book called How To Be Funny by a guy named "Jovial" Bob Stine. It was the craziest thing I'd ever read. That book did a whole lot to shape my sense of humor and a few years back I found a copy on eBay to give to my son. Years after I first read it, a guy named R. L. Stine hit it big with those Goosebumps book. They are the same person. True story!

It gets more intense than that: Stine was also the editor of Dynamite Magazine, which meant he was the boss of Jared Lee, of Count Morbida fame.
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:36 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


Blogger Beware, the web's premiere source for Goosebumps snark, posted an update yesterday for the first time in two years:
Wow, it's finally here. After following the film's development for years, it's finally here! No one could possibly be more excited by today's poster debut than me.
posted by Iridic at 1:39 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Plus, Stine was the creator of Eureeka's Castle, a puppet show on Nick Jr in the '90s.
posted by riruro at 1:47 PM on July 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


I was particularly fond of his Cool Kids' Guide to Summer Camp, but in retrospect I probably should have spent less of my childhood involved in competitive sunburn-peeling.

Dude has been ridiculously prolific.
posted by asperity at 1:56 PM on July 8, 2015


Plus, Stine was the creator of Eureeka's Castle, a puppet show on Nick Jr in the '90s.

Holy crap, was that ever a Madeleine moment for me. I hadn't thought about that show for at least 20 years.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:56 PM on July 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


what's kind of cool is that the gnomes of the books really were assholes who would cut you, iirc
posted by angrycat at 2:18 PM on July 8, 2015


You lost me at Jack Black.

Well, they play to your demo with that scene (in the trailer) where they leave him behind, stuck in the fence, even if the improvement is only temporary.
posted by chavenet at 2:28 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


You lost me at Jack Black.

Yeah, well every generation needs its John Candy.
posted by rhizome at 2:30 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Pokebook
posted by pipeski at 2:32 PM on July 8, 2015


"Based on the worldwide phenomenon Goosebumps"

Also a worldwide phenomenon: Diarrhea.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:33 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


bondcliff: One day in fourth grade I picked up a book called How To Be Funny by a guy named "Jovial" Bob Stine.

Ahh, 80's era Scholastic. I was always down with Mike "Riddle King" Thayer.
posted by dr_dank at 2:36 PM on July 8, 2015


>You lost me at Jack Black.

Yeah, well every generation needs its John Candy.


Jack Black is actually this generation's Bill Murray.
posted by Nevin at 2:51 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Watch more SCTV. Jack Black isn't in the same league as John Candy. I say this while having no particular objection to Jack Black.
posted by Kinbote at 2:54 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]



Jack Black is actually this generation's Bill Murray.


*tears*
posted by jnnla at 3:00 PM on July 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


For some reason I remember Goosebumps being scary? Clearly my memory fails me.

+1 Love for Christopher Pike! I would love to see a movie version of A Season of Passage!!
Vampires!! Space travel!! Mythology!! Female protagonists! COME ON HOLLYWOOD WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT.
posted by like_neon at 3:02 PM on July 8, 2015


Beholder: "OP gives away the entire story. "

OP doesn't tell how they capture the monsters. You see, his daughter or the hero or the hero's sidekick has read all the books and knows each monster's weakness. They use this knowledge to capture the monster.

Seems werewolves can't resist the "fetch the stick" trick.

\now you have the entire story.
posted by TheLittlePrince at 3:02 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Isn't a Bill Murray just a John Candy who survived? Kidding (a bit).
posted by rhizome at 3:08 PM on July 8, 2015


Twist: the final book is the one that locks up the REAL monsters: you, the moviegoing audience.
posted by ckape at 3:09 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


One day in fourth grade I picked up a book called How To Be Funny by a guy named "Jovial" Bob Stine.
That included a prank about gradually pouring more and more salt on your meat (asking "please pass the salt" each time) until the salt was piled up like a snowy peaks. My mother's assessment of the humor value in this was, "I would kill you."
posted by Wolfdog at 3:13 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Seems werewolves can't resist the "fetch the stick" trick.
That's entirely true, just keep that in mind and you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:14 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


I don't understand the comparisons to Christopher Pike. As I recall, Christopher Pike was what you read once you'd already aged out of Goosebumps. Anyway, I'll probably see this for the sheer nostalgia value; I had a massive Goosebumps collection as a kid and especially loved the parody series, Gooflumps. The series wasn't really scary (it was definitely no Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark), but to a second-grader, it was lots of fun.

I hope that if this does well, we'll finally get an Animorphs movie - or the dark, Evangelion-esque TV adaptation it deserves.
posted by Anyamatopoeia at 3:18 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Jack Black can be great when he's used well, and the doesn't go full LOOK AT ME I'M JACK BLACK SO CRAAAZY WOWOWEEE! See: his excellent, understated performance in Richard Linklater's Bernie, or Brutal Legend. (I personally like School of Rock and some of the other movies with CRAAZY JACK BLACK, but I definitely see why some here think it's a bit much.)
posted by Green Winnebago at 3:19 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Seems werewolves can't resist the "fetch the stick" trick.

Leave it! Don't go get it. What are we?

Werewolves, not swearwolves.

Anyway, this movie will mint gold from its 12 year-old target demographic. Sheesh people. Not every film is Bergman.
posted by GuyZero at 3:21 PM on July 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


Cabin in the Woods for fourth-graders. Why not?
posted by mbrubeck at 3:23 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


(it was definitely no Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark)

The thing with that was that the stories were actually pretty cliche for the most part, but when you add in those fucking illustrations it still packs a Nope
posted by Hoopo at 3:37 PM on July 8, 2015 [6 favorites]


The AV Club did an interview with Stine on Eureeka's Castle holy crap a year and a half ago?
posted by thecaddy at 3:52 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I believe the fact that Stine used to write joke books and work at Nickelodeon were mentioned in the author bio at the end of most Goosebumps. I held onto that bit of info as a kid because Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark? often had similar stories and I wondered if Stine was involved with that show. Years later, I learned Dark? was produced in Canada and they were both just making a lot of common horror tropes kid friendly.

Also, I think after working on School of Rock, Jack Black found that he really enjoyed making movies with kids. Tenacious D was great, I don't know why y'all say he's not funny.
posted by riruro at 3:53 PM on July 8, 2015


Is... Is this someone's OC AU fan fiction... For R.L. Stine?

Marissa was played by that creepy ventriloquist puppet, so you might be closer than you think.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:57 PM on July 8, 2015


Yeah, well every generation needs its John Candy.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:09 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


RL Stine grew up in the town where I live and my kids go to the elementary school he attended, so I'm hopeful this does well. I talk about Stine a lot in our house, he's a great, local lesson that being creative is a viable career.
posted by imabanana at 4:24 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


I like Jack Black and RL Stine and I hope it goes good.
posted by xarnop at 4:56 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Jeez, and the movie industry is STILL making money.
posted by New England Cultist at 5:46 PM on July 8, 2015


Seems werewolves can't resist the "fetch the stick" trick.

Currently working on my werewolf paranormal romance based around that concept.
posted by happyroach at 6:02 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ermahgerd, etc. etc

I was kinda hoping for a cameo of that girl/lady.
posted by slater at 6:05 PM on July 8, 2015


I love Jack Black even at his most bombastic. I love him so much I might watch this dumb movie.
posted by winna at 7:01 PM on July 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of the Dark? often had similar stories and I wondered if Stine was involved with that show. Years later, I learned Dark? was produced in Canada and they were both just making a lot of common horror tropes kid friendly.

Well, yeah, but Goosebumps was also produced in Canada. (Other than the campfire, they were pretty much the same show.)
posted by Sys Rq at 7:07 PM on July 8, 2015


Yeah, Christopher Pike novels are definitely pitched a bit older. One of those books taught me the word "orgasm". Not at all the same as the friendly-scary Goosebumps books.

Would totally watch a Last Vampire series adaptation, though.
posted by olinerd at 7:07 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Man, I wish they had made a Danny Dunn movie. And whatever happened to the proposed Encyclopedia Brown movie?

Sheesh, us Gen Xers are always getting left out, squeezed by the Boomers and their Millenial progeny.

I would camp out for a Jupiter Jones and the Three Investigators movie.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:50 PM on July 8, 2015 [5 favorites]


My grandmother asked me what I was reading and I described a few things in a Christopher pike book trying to make it sound a bit nicer but she was still like "WHAT ARE YOU READING!?"

Of course it was a few years earlier in 5th grade I asked her what a... as I pronounced it "war" was. She said it's when a lot of people are fighting and I said no.. the person!! That was Lonesome dove (I don't think she actually answered me lol other than something like uuuhh it's a job for a woman). I also wondered why they kept putting carrots in all the women...

She was right! My mind was corrupted! Oh my corrupted mind!!!
posted by xarnop at 8:13 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


I love all of: Jack Black, John Candy (there are John Candy haters?!?!?!?), Bill Murray, R.L. Stine, Christopher Pike.

But no way in hell am I going to see this movie.
posted by sallybrown at 8:30 PM on July 8, 2015


Christopher Pike? Huh. I had no idea he went on to become a children's author after commanding the Enterprise.
posted by webmutant at 8:50 PM on July 8, 2015 [2 favorites]


I see I'm in the minority here. Well, fine. I'm having a Goosebumps Movie pre-game party with ice cream cake and a homemade piñata and three kinds of chips and NONE OF YOU ARE INVITED.
posted by duffell at 9:00 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Jack Black is actually this generation's Bill Murray.

You sir have crossed a line.
posted by um at 9:14 PM on July 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


In Tim Morris's book on children's literature, You're Only Young Twice, there's a great chapter where he reads as many of the Goosebumps books as he can stand (his kids were fans) and begins to work out Stine's formula. I can't remember all the patterns-- the main kid has just moved to a new town, there's a very externalized but intriguingly gross monster-- but one that stuck with me was that the protagonists nearly all have androgynous names and interests and are accompanied by a friend of complementary gender (and more marked ethnicity), in order to maximize marketability. One main character makes it all the way through the book without ever being identified as a boy or a girl.
posted by thetortoise at 11:38 PM on July 8, 2015 [4 favorites]


duffell: I see I'm in the minority here. Well, fine. I'm having a Goosebumps Movie pre-game party with ice cream cake and a homemade piñata and three kinds of chips and NONE OF YOU ARE INVITED.

No, no, I want to come too, please! I think xarnop is down, too. I've slept on it and read all the comments here and I am still tickled by the thought of a meta-movie about R.L. Stine, and by Jack Black in the role.

I have to admit I'm kind of surprised to find out that Stine is a real, single person and not a pseudonym like Franklin W. Dixon. Surprised and pleased.

olinerd: Would totally watch a Last Vampire series adaptation, though.

We've been teased for years with news of various entities acquiring the movie rights, but the last article I can find about it is from 2013 and I don't hold out much hope, to be honest. :( :( Ah, a Last Vampire film (or series) would be so good! I read the books as they came out, starting when I was 10 or 11, so maybe I'm a little biased, but I really think there's something there that holds up against the other YA vampire stories around these days.

I haven't read The Season of Passage (or any of Pike's non-YA works) but it looks good and I'm ordering my $0.01 secondhand copy now!
posted by daisyk at 11:47 PM on July 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

Maybe they'd seem a lot tamer now than they did in like the 4th grade, or maybe Mr. Potosnyak was just really good at reading scary stories, but I remember a lot of those being legit creepy as hell.
posted by brennen at 11:49 PM on July 8, 2015


Not only does Season of Passage have Commie vampires on Mars, it has a reincarnated space princess with ESP. Seriously the thing is a masterpiece. If they skip the lizard rape scene, I'd be first in line for tickets.
posted by thetortoise at 12:01 AM on July 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Had I been born a few years later than I was, I would've been all over Goosebumps. But I thought myself far too mature for such things. Is this what the series is about? Running around and trapping monsters/giant animals? Looks like Jumanji with a shot of Gremlins, but I would've thought Goosebumps was about...spooky things, like creepy, creaky old houses at midnight and such. I guess that's not adventurous enough for kids today. Gotta action it up.

In short, this looks terrible.
posted by zardoz at 12:17 AM on July 9, 2015


We've been teased for years with news of various entities acquiring the movie rights,

Given the genre, the term "entities" is put into an entirely new light.

So a young author moves to Hollywood, only to find the rights to his book have already been purchased by someone- or something...
posted by happyroach at 12:39 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I see I'm in the minority here. Well, fine. I'm having a Goosebumps Movie pre-game party with ice cream cake and a homemade piñata and three kinds of chips and NONE OF YOU ARE INVITED.

will there be weed there needs to be weed to see the spookums
posted by robocop is bleeding at 3:37 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


By the way, I do wonder if kids today read Goosebumps or has their popularity waned in the past decade?
posted by I-baLL at 8:03 AM on July 9, 2015


begins to work out Stine's formula

Don't forget that every chapter must end with a cliffhanger, any cliffhanger, just as the following chapter must begin with the deflation or flat-out contradiction of the horrific situation.

But as I finished typing, my keyboard suddenly came to life and started eating my fingers!
posted by Iridic at 8:32 AM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I screamed and leaped away from the computer. Then I looked down at my fingers. I expected to see bite marks, but I didn't see any. My hands were fine! They just tingled a little. The keyboard also looked normal. My fingers must have fallen asleep, so it felt like something was eating them.

"You're such a scaredy-cat!" sneered my platonic friend Alex. They stuck out their tongue at me.

posted by Iridic at 8:34 AM on July 9, 2015 [9 favorites]


If there's no Haunted Mask I'm out.
posted by Theta States at 10:17 AM on July 9, 2015


If this and Pixels make a lot of money I guess we can look forward to an endless future of things from BuzzFeed nostalgia listicles coming to life

Isn't Ready Player One being worked on? Isn't that what that is?
posted by Theta States at 10:19 AM on July 9, 2015


Yup. Ready Player One is being directed by Spielberg.
posted by brundlefly at 4:01 PM on July 9, 2015


I prefer to think of it as the Tomb of Horrors movie with some preamble claptrap.
posted by GuyZero at 4:02 PM on July 9, 2015


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