Wayward Cow Caught!
February 26, 2002 12:00 PM   Subscribe

Wayward Cow Caught! The fugitive cow, earning clemency after escaping from Ohio slaughterhouse, was captured not far from the scene of the escape. The cow will now spend his days on the farm of former Cincinatti Reds owner, Marge Schott.
posted by Lanternjmk (26 comments total)
The betting pool on how long before this thread gets deleted is now open.
posted by ook at 12:09 PM on February 26, 2002

posted by adampsyche at 12:09 PM on February 26, 2002

Having been spared the abbatoir, is the cow now doomed to having Marge hurl racial epithets at it?
posted by jburka at 12:11 PM on February 26, 2002

History says that this is too "Wacky" to survive here.
30 minutes tops.
posted by jeblis at 12:11 PM on February 26, 2002

It's been up for ten whole minutes already, I already lost my wager. Although, anything to do with racist cow lovers kind of deserves to stay...
posted by RJ Reynolds at 12:11 PM on February 26, 2002

Let me press the accelerator:

Mooooving story.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:13 PM on February 26, 2002

I've seen sillier stories on here. What would make this one fodder for deletion?
posted by Lanternjmk at 12:16 PM on February 26, 2002

What would make this one fodder for deletion?

The last two posts relating to this were deleted.
posted by jeblis at 12:21 PM on February 26, 2002

It's fodder for deletion because it's a repeat of other recent posts, at least two of which were deleted.

It's like if someone had posted a new Olympics FPP every day of the winter Olympics this year, asking for recent discussion on the ongoing events.

It's more logical to expect people to use one thread per topic, unless a new link introduced brings up enough topic change to warrant a new conversation. Like when Daniel Pearl was first kidnapped and then when he was pronounced dead. Those two threads made sense.

A thread about a cow escaping is okay for novelty if nothing else. Another one a few days later saying "it's still missing!" is annoying. This thread is annoying too, even to me. And if'n I were god this place would be chaotic. I'd allow most anything, but not this. There's nothing really useful or poignant about the new information which encourages discourse, beyond the obvious "so when is it gonna get deleted" discourse we're harping now.

So it will get deleted it's just a question of when.
posted by ZachsMind at 12:23 PM on February 26, 2002

eh, the Marge Schott angle is funny. I thought it was a joke, but appears to actually be true. Since it's doubly wacky, I'm thinking of just letting it be.
posted by mathowie at 12:27 PM on February 26, 2002

Makes me want a burger.
posted by HTuttle at 12:30 PM on February 26, 2002

All bets are closed, winner is "never" at 1000 to 1. Thanks for playing, please come again.
posted by ook at 12:38 PM on February 26, 2002

posted by panopticon at 12:42 PM on February 26, 2002

I really, really want to post some haikus, but I am resisting the urge.
posted by ColdChef at 12:46 PM on February 26, 2002

just as cow spared the
meat eater's plate, so doth this
thread avoid Matt's ax
posted by adampsyche at 12:47 PM on February 26, 2002

Maybe it's just me, but I'm mildly weirded out seeing the word "he" applied to a cow.

Also at the idea of using "decoy cows" to lure this one.
posted by kindall at 12:51 PM on February 26, 2002

It really is amazing how long this went on for...
posted by ph00dz at 1:14 PM on February 26, 2002

Let me say, for the record, that this is unfair.

The first time this story got posted, I missed it. The second time, I went haiku crazy and was having a blast when the plug was yanked. And now, somehow, this time it has been spared.

I think the Mattâ„¢ is picking on me personally. Dammit.
posted by ColdChef at 2:07 PM on February 26, 2002

but hey, now we all now how to capture an escaped cow:

Success came after society workers set up a corral with decoy cows in the park.

sweet. I'm picturing the cow costume from Top Secret being used here...
posted by th3ph17 at 2:20 PM on February 26, 2002

Hmph. The second time this was posted, there was a great quote from a woman who was afraid that the cow was going to eat people. Now THAT'S funny.
posted by ColdChef at 2:31 PM on February 26, 2002

I'm glad it didn't stay out in the wild. I picture it going native and blending in with the humans, hanging out at convenience stores and shooting the breeze. "Yes, I'd like a pack of cigarettes, please. Oh, this leather jacket I'm wearing? Custom-made. Mooooore money than you could spend to buy it, I'm afraid. But thanks for asking."
posted by allaboutgeorge at 2:50 PM on February 26, 2002

"dead meat walking"
posted by blackholebrain at 2:59 PM on February 26, 2002

there was a great quote from a woman

Yeah that was pretty funny, but on the whole I'm impressed with Matt's editing of the links. He's picked a good direction for the cummunity that keeps me comming back.
posted by jeblis at 3:36 PM on February 26, 2002

allaboutgeorge - Kinda like Chicken-Boo (Animaniacs), but with a cow....
posted by Nauip at 4:01 PM on February 26, 2002

This whole thing does bring to mind a few dozen Far Side cartoons. ...damn. I was gonna find a fancy jpg to link to, but I found this instead. Seems a number of Gary Larson's cows escaped his pasture, and he's kindly asked people to give them back. This is perhaps the sweetest cease and desist letter I've ever seen posted on the 'Net.
posted by ZachsMind at 4:12 PM on February 26, 2002

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