Utah, get me two!
July 16, 2015 10:39 AM   Subscribe

With designs inspired by Peking opera the facekini protects its wearer from jellyfish stings and sunburns.
posted by a lungful of dragon (38 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
However, it does not protect the wearer from being laughed at ala Nelson in the Simpsons.
posted by Kitteh at 10:42 AM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I really wish this was something I found out about in person IRL so I could enjoy the moment of WHAT IS HAPPEN when I found myself on a chinese beach surrounded by elderly female luchadores.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:42 AM on July 16, 2015 [30 favorites]


Are jelly fish stings to the face an actual omnipresent threat to beachgoers in China?
posted by Sangermaine at 10:45 AM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


So...jellyfish stings everywhere else on the body are no big deal?
posted by yoink at 10:46 AM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Soon, you will be able to sip a facetini while wearing a facekini.

Then you will realize that your entire life has been a waste.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:48 AM on July 16, 2015


wastekini
posted by poffin boffin at 10:49 AM on July 16, 2015 [8 favorites]


Yeah, the jellyfish thing is a red herring, it's so they don't get a tan and look like common field workers, heaven forbid.

And I like when the guy claims the face-kini is a whole new science, uhhh, sorry dude, hats beat you to that frontier.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:50 AM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


While she now has a loyal following, Zhang says the garment has the undesirable side effect of scaring away children.

Those infamous Guardian typos strike again.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:52 AM on July 16, 2015 [11 favorites]


Yeah, the jellyfish thing is a red herring, it's so they don't get a tan and look like common field workers, heaven forbid.

Or, rather, give them strange tan lines around their lips....
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:54 AM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


The welding mask, Chinese burka, solar shield seems more effective.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:58 AM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?

Man in Black: Oh no, it's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
posted by the Real Dan at 10:59 AM on July 16, 2015 [13 favorites]


We used custom made versions while diving in Chesapeake Bay. Just take pantyhose and cut out holes for your mask and respirator. Jellyfish stings can't penetrate the pantyhose.
posted by Patapsco Mike at 11:01 AM on July 16, 2015 [5 favorites]


Am I the only person who kind of wants one? They look like such fun to wear while you stomp around pretending to be a supervillain. Or a wrestler.
posted by sciatrix at 11:08 AM on July 16, 2015


You could just buy a Luchador mask.
posted by Sangermaine at 11:10 AM on July 16, 2015


the jellyfish thing is a red herring

Are you sure you're a marine biologist?
posted by yoink at 11:21 AM on July 16, 2015 [33 favorites]


Yeah, the jellyfish thing is a red herring, it's so they don't get a tan and look like common field workers, heaven forbid.

Yeah, this is just a PR handout turned into an article without any critical thinking behind it.

Jellyfish stings. Please. Next thing you'll tell me is that a burka is for mosquitoes.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:32 AM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


I would like an amusing custom swimming face thing - jingju would be nice if I could wear it in China, perhaps, where people would just think I was a ridiculous foreigner instead of a cultural appropriator (at least that has been my experience when I have been pressed to wear traditional Chinese items in China - people think it's hiLARious). But think about if you could get one painted like an adorable kitten with little ear flaps? Who wouldn't want to go swimming disguised as a kitten? Or a dragon? Or Captain America? Also, as much as people may be avoiding looking like common field workers by getting a tan, etc, I think there are perfectly good reasons not to want to tan.
posted by Frowner at 11:33 AM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm going to guess that they still end up wearing sunscreen under it to prevent said tan lines. This seems to scream, "Look, I know that culturally being out in the sun for extended periods is a bad thing for someone of my social station, so I just want everybody to know that I am only in the sun for completely impractical luxury purposes." In much the same fashion that fitness is great for anybody, but people of a certain class in the US seem to often feel compelled not just to be fit, but to make sure people around them know that they're very into running/yoga/Crossfit?
posted by Sequence at 11:38 AM on July 16, 2015


Yeah, the jellyfish thing is a red herring, it's so they don't get a tan and look like common field workers, heaven forbid.

My wife is from Japan, and while she would never ever wear a face-kini, she takes great care of her skin. Although North Americans don't really get it, exposure to UV rays does cause wrinkles and skin cancer. Not everyone is into getting a cancerous lesion dug out of their nose.

I do get the "no one wants to look like a field worker" thing, but the practical benefits of covering up are actually the main motivating factor here.
posted by Nevin at 11:39 AM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


In related news, a Chinese service company allows No-Face day at work so workers don't have to put up a fake smile.
posted by sukeban at 11:41 AM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I do get the "no one wants to look like a field worker" thing, but the practical benefits of covering up are actually the main motivating factor here.

If only there was some sort of invisible lotion you could rub on your face...
posted by GuyZero at 12:09 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


In related news, a Chinese service company allows No-Face day at work so workers don't have to put up a fake smile.

Cue the Spirited Away-induced nightmares for this one.

I hereby claim cultural superiority for the bulk of western europe where no-smile-day is every day.
posted by GuyZero at 12:11 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


I do get the "no one wants to look like a field worker" thing, but the practical benefits of covering up are actually the main motivating factor here.
Nevin

Eh...my wife is also from Tokyo. She will also not go out without covering her arms and wearing a large hat or carrying a parasol to cover her face. While you're right that health is part of it, the absolute revulsion she has repeatedly expressed at the idea of tanning seems to be the overriding factor, and the same has been true of people I knew while living in Japan.

The insane popularity in Asia of skin preservation and lightening products isn't about cancer prevention.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:16 PM on July 16, 2015 [10 favorites]


If only there was some sort of invisible lotion you could rub on your face...

I wouldn't be so dismissive. If it were socially acceptable to do this, I can totally see people opting for this rather than struggle to find a sunscreen that both works and doesn't provoke an allergic reaction, if this thread is anything to go by.
posted by indubitable at 12:20 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Am I the only person who kind of wants one?

I'm sure any number of holdup men are going to be considering these. President masks are so passe.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:45 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I just uncanny valley'd so hard.
posted by lekvar at 12:45 PM on July 16, 2015


Although North Americans don't really get it, exposure to UV rays does cause wrinkles and skin cancer.

Um. This is not unknown, even to North Americans.
posted by cooker girl at 1:16 PM on July 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I would also like one of those No Face masks to wear at work. If I could make the little "eh eh" noises that No Face makes when it responds to questions, that would be especially great. Not to mention devouring the greedy and immoral - I could have a field day with that.
posted by Frowner at 1:19 PM on July 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


I had little knowledge about the association of suntans and socioeconomic class in Asia. Thanks, Metafilter!
posted by a lungful of dragon at 1:21 PM on July 16, 2015


I can totally see people opting for this rather than struggle to find a sunscreen that both works and doesn't provoke an allergic reaction, if this thread is anything to go by.

Like this comment?

I HIGHLY recommend Biore Watery Essence. I have no idea what's in it because the entire back of the packaging is in Japanese, but it's wonderfully light, totally ungoopy, smells nice, and doesn't make me break out wearing it every day.

Apparently there's an entire universe of Japanese sunscreen awesomeness that westerners know nothing of, outside of an obscure AskMe.
posted by GuyZero at 1:25 PM on July 16, 2015


I dunno. With all the face recognition technology being use nowadays, this isn't a bad idea... Think the cops would stop you on the road? Maybe get one that is very realistic, just not you.
posted by DesbaratsDays at 1:53 PM on July 16, 2015


This seems as good a place as any to get on my high horse about the phrase "Peking Opera." Ignoring for now the fact that the romanization of the capital of China is Beijing now, calling it "opera" at all is kind of imperialist. The actual name is Jingju. The "jing" here is the same "jing" as "Beijing" and it means "capital" - FWIW, the "Bei" in "Beijing" means "north." "Ju" is "theatre." So, basically, "jingju" means "Capital Theatre."

While singing is a major part of jingju, it is only one of four stressed skills. The other three are a specific style of speaking, stylized movement and combat. The only way that it resembles European opera is that people sing. We distinguish opera from musicals because, in opera, the performance is usually sung the whole way through (this is why "Jesus Christ Superstar" is a rock opera but 'West Side Story" is a musical). While there are some jingju that are sung the whole way though, the vast majority of them are a mix of skills and some have no singing at all.

The Europeans who named it "Peking opera" were trying to come up with a word to describe it to put it in context for the folks back home. In doing so, they inadvertently stripped it of its own unique identity. Calling jingju "Peking opera" is akin to calling hula "Hawaiian ballet" or Tuvan throat singing "Mongolian choir" or Kabuki "Japanese melodrama."

Moving in to real tl;dr territory, jingju is only one of nearly 300 forms of indiginous Xiqu ("Xi" is "to play" and "qu" is "tunes"), each with its own regional flavor and distinguishing qualities. It might be difficult sometimes for an untrained person to recognize the differences, but to somebody familiar with the forms the differences are as pronounced as the differences between blues, rock, county, jazz, etc. (side note - I can recognize jingju and sometimes kunqu but after that, I'm useless). When you see an image of traditional Chinese theatre, it might be jingju or it might be from one of the other difangxi (the collective word for regional theatre forms).

Anyhow, the face-kinis are fun. Some of the characters/character types represented on the masks include:

Sun Wukong (the Monkey king)
A huadan (one of the subcategories of dan/female roles) or two
A noble hualian ("painted face") character

/beanplating
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:48 PM on July 16, 2015 [14 favorites]


a lungful of dragon: "I had little knowledge about the association of suntans and socioeconomic class in Asia. Thanks, Metafilter!"

What has been said is true, but (at least in Japan, it probably varies by country) it's the historical reason behind the current situation, not so much the current reason. By the same token, one could say that MeFites are opposed to this because it would keep their skin looking pale like some common factory worker, not wealthy aristocracy who have time for outdoor leisure. Sure, that's why Westerners started tanning, but it's not exactly the reason that Westerners still tan.

GuyZero: "If only there was some sort of invisible lotion you could rub on your face..."

I would never wear one of these masks, but, you know, about 10 years ago rash guards became super common where I live. And, man...so much better than sunscreen!! So while I'm hesitant to try these masks, I'm also hesitant to knock the concept.

Joey Michaels: "this is why "Jesus Christ Superstar" is a rock opera but 'West Side Story" is a musical"

I never knew that! Thanks!
posted by Bugbread at 10:24 PM on July 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


And, man...so much better than sunscreen!!

That was my thought too. I already wear a long-sleeve rash guard shirt (and hat, and headscarf) when I'm at the beach, why not go all out with facegear too?

Maybe one with big owl-eyes, to scare off pesky gulls.
posted by mittens at 4:35 AM on July 17, 2015


Peking opera?
posted by flabdablet at 5:38 AM on July 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


The insane popularity in Asia of skin preservation and lightening products isn't about cancer prevention.

Nope, sorry you're wrong. As you live in Tokyo I am sure you have heard of Enoshima and Shonan. Lot's of young Japanese women getting suntans there. Then they start to get concerned about skin cancer and start covering up.
posted by Nevin at 8:30 AM on July 17, 2015


The skin lightening creams are about reducing the cancer risk from past suntanning? You do realize that that's what the comment you're quoting and responding was about, right?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:43 AM on July 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Or you could just all be right. My wife wears lightening foundation even during non-sunny times of the year. That's not about cancer. And she also insists my sons wear sunscreen when they go out in the summer, even though the whole bihaku thing doesn't really apply to guys. That's totally about cancer.
posted by Bugbread at 4:43 PM on July 17, 2015


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