"I knew in my heart this was his last fall."

July 20, 2015 12:19 PM

Cartoonist Jack Ohman of the Sacramento Bee recently completed a four part series of cartoons titled "The Care Package" based on his experiences with his father in his final years: "Getting old ain’t for sissies", "The last time I went fishing with my dad", "What I wish my dad said before he died", "In my dad’s final weeks, I was still in denial".
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (15 comments total)

Damnit, don't make me tear up like this at work.

My cat is getting frail, and my dad has been having back issues for a while now, and I'm hitting 39 this month, and so between this post, the midlife crisis post and the ever slowly approaching doom for my elderly loved ones this is hard to read, damnit. But I want to read, because to reminisce is so important.
posted by symbioid at 12:35 PM on July 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

Thank you for posting this--it was beautiful and poignant. I'm sitting here choked up, thinking about my own parents...they're in good health but getting to an age where I am increasingly preoccupied with their mortality and hoping that when the time comes, their deaths are fast and painless. I think Jack Ohman does a great job of showing the distress of the slow decline, worse by far than the quick death.

It was fascinating and heartbreaking to see his struggles trying to get his dad to talk about their troubled relationship in these last years.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:39 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm in the early stages of this with my mother. It feels very true to what I've experienced so far. I'm not sorry to have a guide to what to expect down the road. (Though it's very different with my mom in some ways.) Thanks for posting.
posted by immlass at 12:40 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh man, that last panel of that last strip.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:55 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

These are really great. Today is the first anniversary of my dad's death after many years of his health declining and dealing with many similar issues, so this is hitting very close to home for me (in a good, I-am-not-alone way). Thanks for posting this.
posted by bedhead at 12:57 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

The world the elderly inhabit is a one that is different from all other worlds. I will be 86 in less than a month. Two months ago, fell and could not get up after three tries. Broke ankle. Surgery. Recovering now but wife and I suddenly realized that our rather large home has two flights of stairs and that the bottom set did not even have a bannister!
Now, de-clutter and put house on market and move to apt, or condo, no stairs, smaller, etc.

A great spouse helps. What has my wife prepared for my 8th birthday? three days in NY, a music spot, a Broadway play, and 1.5 mile walk on hi line...(with of course my new cane!).
posted by Postroad at 12:58 PM on July 20, 2015 [48 favorites]

Remarkably similar to my dad's last days.
posted by tommasz at 1:35 PM on July 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

Same.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:38 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm still in denial that my mom is starting down this road despite being on her second surgery in two years and having in constant dealings with the doctors. Lost my dads many, many years ago so lalalalalalalala
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:42 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

fuckfuckfuckfuck
posted by lalochezia at 2:17 PM on July 20, 2015

Damn, this is what I'm looking at right now.
posted by suelac at 2:53 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

My 86-year-old mom is in the hospital, and we're awaiting results of a biopsy. Based on the scans, we all expect the discussion will be of the "how much time left?" variety. My mom remains sharp as a tack, and remarkably serene—"Any way you look at it, I've had a pretty good run." I hope to find and maintain a similar serenity in the months ahead.
posted by MACTdaddy at 3:10 PM on July 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

So I can't even see the phrase "Getting old ain’t for sissies" and the word "Dad" on the screen at the same time without crying, apparently. It was a phrase my Dad used a lot towards the end. Sorry I can't read these now.



.
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:50 PM on July 20, 2015 [2 favorites]

Dad died on June 24th.

I just spent the last 30 minutes or so writing to you all about it, but as comfortable as I am on the blue, I'm just not ready to save those words on a page.

Dad did say, though, "getting old is for the birds." Close enough. And he told me he loved me, and I told him I loved him, and that is the moment I try to focus on when I think of those last days.
posted by grimjeer at 6:59 PM on July 20, 2015 [6 favorites]

I still miss my Dad, and he passed away in the hospital at 54 in 1981. October is always very very hard for me. Just like in one of the panels in the final chapter of the series, I remember it always raining. Always raining.
posted by seawallrunner at 8:46 PM on July 20, 2015 [1 favorite]