Is this a selfie?
July 22, 2015 1:51 PM Subscribe
So now the NYT is jumping on the bandwagon with the New Yorker to gradually turn into McSweeney's?
posted by cubby at 1:53 PM on July 22, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by cubby at 1:53 PM on July 22, 2015 [13 favorites]
What is the self, anyway?
It is the identifiable subject of a selfie.
posted by infinitewindow at 1:53 PM on July 22, 2015 [17 favorites]
It is the identifiable subject of a selfie.
posted by infinitewindow at 1:53 PM on July 22, 2015 [17 favorites]
I used a 300-foot selfie stick to take a photograph of myself, but before the camera went off, a migrating trumpeter swan grabbed the camera, somehow aimed it at me, and tapped the shutter.
I had my doubts, silly NYT opinion piece about selfies, but you rolled up your goddam sleeves and you did the work.
posted by cortex at 1:55 PM on July 22, 2015 [43 favorites]
I had my doubts, silly NYT opinion piece about selfies, but you rolled up your goddam sleeves and you did the work.
posted by cortex at 1:55 PM on July 22, 2015 [43 favorites]
I think it speaks to my half-out-the-millenial-door status that I do not take selfies but am very serious about the term being used in the correct manner.
This is a good post.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 1:55 PM on July 22, 2015 [20 favorites]
This is a good post.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 1:55 PM on July 22, 2015 [20 favorites]
NYT, tackling the hard issues as usual.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:56 PM on July 22, 2015
posted by entropicamericana at 1:56 PM on July 22, 2015
It was interesting to me that the photo heading the piece was not a selfie.
posted by alms at 1:56 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by alms at 1:56 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I worked as an intern at the Times
Where I write articles and I have to meet a quota
Q-O-T-A Quota
I write think pieces about the zeitgeist
about millenials who take pictures with their Phones-a
P-H-O-N-A Phones-a
(chorus)
QUOTA
Q-U-O-T-A
QUOTA
QUO-QUO-QUO-QUO QUOTA
posted by GuyZero at 1:57 PM on July 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
Where I write articles and I have to meet a quota
Q-O-T-A Quota
I write think pieces about the zeitgeist
about millenials who take pictures with their Phones-a
P-H-O-N-A Phones-a
(chorus)
QUOTA
Q-U-O-T-A
QUOTA
QUO-QUO-QUO-QUO QUOTA
posted by GuyZero at 1:57 PM on July 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
I am an Irish seal that can turn into a human. Am I a selfie?
posted by maxsparber at 1:58 PM on July 22, 2015 [48 favorites]
posted by maxsparber at 1:58 PM on July 22, 2015 [48 favorites]
I'm a nondualist pantheist, and I believe it's all one big, all-encompassing selfie that the universe is continuously taking and observing at all times.
posted by naju at 1:59 PM on July 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by naju at 1:59 PM on July 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
maxsparber: "I am an Irish seal that can turn into a human. Am I a selfie?"
So close.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:00 PM on July 22, 2015 [14 favorites]
So close.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:00 PM on July 22, 2015 [14 favorites]
Newscasters Misidentifying Photographs As Selfies is one of my favorite segments from John Oliver's show.
posted by Gary at 2:02 PM on July 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by Gary at 2:02 PM on July 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
It was interesting to me that the photo heading the piece was not a selfie.
I enjoyed what felt like a dare to the reader, there: do you ask of the featured photo, "is this a selfie?", and if so do you ask yourself what the implied antecedent of that "this" is? Is "this" this photo, or is "this" the subject of the photo? Or a subject of the photo: it's a photo of two photos being taken, one of which is a photo of a photo being taken. At least one of which is something which we can reasonably say, yes, that is a selfie. Is this that? Is that what this is? Is the thisness defined by the embedded that's thatness?
posted by cortex at 2:03 PM on July 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
I enjoyed what felt like a dare to the reader, there: do you ask of the featured photo, "is this a selfie?", and if so do you ask yourself what the implied antecedent of that "this" is? Is "this" this photo, or is "this" the subject of the photo? Or a subject of the photo: it's a photo of two photos being taken, one of which is a photo of a photo being taken. At least one of which is something which we can reasonably say, yes, that is a selfie. Is this that? Is that what this is? Is the thisness defined by the embedded that's thatness?
posted by cortex at 2:03 PM on July 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
I love the concept of selfies, it always seems like an assertion of self esteem, something that seems to be lacking.
posted by hellojed at 2:04 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by hellojed at 2:04 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
I went to Ikea and took a shelfie.
posted by pipeski at 2:05 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by pipeski at 2:05 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
What if you took a picture of a sail for sale with the price tag? Is that a selfie?
posted by barchan at 2:06 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by barchan at 2:06 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is it a selfie if—
My clone takes a photo of me?
An alternative universe version takes a photo of me?
An older version of me from the future takes a photo of me?
A younger version of me from the past takes a photo of me?
My severed but animate hand takes a photo of me?
A robotic prosthetic limb that's been unattached but allows for remote control takes a photo of me?
A robotic prosthetic limb that's been unattached but has an autonomous mode takes a photo of me?
posted by FJT at 2:08 PM on July 22, 2015 [11 favorites]
My clone takes a photo of me?
An alternative universe version takes a photo of me?
An older version of me from the future takes a photo of me?
A younger version of me from the past takes a photo of me?
My severed but animate hand takes a photo of me?
A robotic prosthetic limb that's been unattached but allows for remote control takes a photo of me?
A robotic prosthetic limb that's been unattached but has an autonomous mode takes a photo of me?
posted by FJT at 2:08 PM on July 22, 2015 [11 favorites]
No, that's a sail fee.
posted by pipeski at 2:08 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by pipeski at 2:08 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
What if you took a picture of yourself but in the instant before the picture was captured all of your atoms spontaneously converted into sulfer?
posted by cortex at 2:08 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex at 2:08 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
cortex, doesn't that mean you are the devil incarnate?
posted by janey47 at 2:09 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by janey47 at 2:09 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
If I make an x-ray of myself, is it a skelfie?
posted by pipeski at 2:13 PM on July 22, 2015 [19 favorites]
posted by pipeski at 2:13 PM on July 22, 2015 [19 favorites]
Can you paint a selfie if you turn the canvas around so you can't see it while you paint? What if you paint it in a bathroom so you can look in the mirror?
posted by Rock Steady at 2:15 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Rock Steady at 2:15 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
What if I propped up a mirror on a chair and painted my reflection in that mirror onto a large canvas?
posted by mhum at 2:15 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by mhum at 2:15 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
I have taken one selfie in my life. I think it was before they were called selfies. I felt kinda dirty and naracistic even though it was my profile picture for a dating website that resulted in me meeting my wife, which has subsequently resulted in two children...
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:15 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:15 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
If a vampire takes a picture of themselves in a mirror is that called an unselfie?
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:16 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:16 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
What if you took a picture of yourself, but due to a software glitch the picture was not successfully stored on your phone, but then a friend created an ultra photorealistic painting of the likely image, and uploaded a picture of that onto your phone without your knowing, and then just before your friend was going to tell you, they were killed unexpectedly, taking the secret to their grave, and thus neither you nor anyone else was ever aware that the image was not one captured by the phone itself, though something about it always struck you and those you showed it to as special, as somehow just a little bit more in some ineffable way than any other selfie you took before, and indeed of any you took after, your whole life spent vainly chasing down a self-portrait that would eclipse that one, that zenith of selfies, that hidden forgotten lie of the universe, until eventually you have grown old and grown tired and have in the long years of your constant quest found yourself hollowed out, just a Dysonian shell orbiting the perfect and inescapable singularity of That Selfie, questioning in the darkening twilight of your life whether it was the selfie that was so good and so pure, or just the innocence of the moment, asking yourself in a voice so low and soft that you can barely hear yourself and all to the better because the question terrifies you, is it the selfies that stopped improving all those years ago, or was it me?
posted by cortex at 2:17 PM on July 22, 2015 [42 favorites]
posted by cortex at 2:17 PM on July 22, 2015 [42 favorites]
If I am a god, and I send out two eagles, one flying from the east, one from the west, and where their paths cross, I find the omphalos, so I snap a quick photo of myself next to it... oh never mind.
posted by pipeski at 2:21 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by pipeski at 2:21 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I saw a thing recently inviting me to take a "foot selfie" and was pretty conflicted. Unless my feet take the picture themselves it's not a selfie, is it?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:24 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:24 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
I took a photo of me during a psychedelic trip wherein I experienced complete ego annihilation. Is it a selfie if there is no self but simply a frail skin-hull containing the universe?
posted by griphus at 2:25 PM on July 22, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by griphus at 2:25 PM on July 22, 2015 [8 favorites]
If a bell tower takes a picture of itself. . .
NO NO wait I got a better question. If you wedge your butt into a copier and press copy and you get a printout of your butt, is THAT a selfie?
posted by barchan at 2:26 PM on July 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
NO NO wait I got a better question. If you wedge your butt into a copier and press copy and you get a printout of your butt, is THAT a selfie?
posted by barchan at 2:26 PM on July 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
I took a picture of British author Will Self. Is that a selfie? Or a Selfie?
posted by Elly Vortex at 2:27 PM on July 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Elly Vortex at 2:27 PM on July 22, 2015 [4 favorites]
You see a trolley rushing towards 5 people and a trolley-activated remote shutter controlling a camera pointed at you. In front of you is a lever, which lets you redirect the trolley towards a single person instead. If you do nothing, is it a selfie?
posted by jedicus at 2:29 PM on July 22, 2015 [19 favorites]
posted by jedicus at 2:29 PM on July 22, 2015 [19 favorites]
GuyZero: "I worked as an intern at the Times
Where I write articles and I have to meet a quota
Q-O-T-A Quota"
Cortex, do we need to add a flag for "song parody scansion error", or does "Breaks the guidelines" cover universal guidelines?
I know, I know, take it to Meta.
posted by team lowkey at 2:30 PM on July 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
Where I write articles and I have to meet a quota
Q-O-T-A Quota"
Cortex, do we need to add a flag for "song parody scansion error", or does "Breaks the guidelines" cover universal guidelines?
I know, I know, take it to Meta.
posted by team lowkey at 2:30 PM on July 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
If a monadic godhead shatters itself into billions of fragments of consciousness and casts them into a corrupt material world crafted by a mad demiurge, isn't every photograph of a living thing taken by another living thing a selfie?
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:32 PM on July 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:32 PM on July 22, 2015 [9 favorites]
If a character in a cartoon holds his phone up and points it at himself, and presses the shutter, but the shutter is a small piece of rock attached to the larger flat slate that is the phone itself, and pressing the shutter just mashes the toe of a bird on the back of the slate who takes that as a cue to begin using his beak to carve out an image of the man holding the phone, but by the standards of that early civilization such a rendering is functionally as photorealistic and instantaneous as art could be, and the bird once finished turns to the viewer and speaks, is that a living?
posted by cortex at 2:34 PM on July 22, 2015 [22 favorites]
posted by cortex at 2:34 PM on July 22, 2015 [22 favorites]
Once a woman asked if she could take a selfie with me. I said yes. She proceeded to hand her phone to a friend, who then took a picture of us. Somewhere out there is a digital image of this woman, smiling, but mostly washed out by the blinding mass of incandescent pedantic rage next to her.
posted by phooky at 2:40 PM on July 22, 2015 [28 favorites]
posted by phooky at 2:40 PM on July 22, 2015 [28 favorites]
The link in the article has more context: last week, the NYT called New Horizons' photo of Pluto a "selfie." Pluto, of course, is incapable of taking selfies.
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:42 PM on July 22, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Metroid Baby at 2:42 PM on July 22, 2015 [12 favorites]
What about a cost I incur for something I sold in a public market?
posted by Tevin at 2:42 PM on July 22, 2015
posted by Tevin at 2:42 PM on July 22, 2015
is that a living
If nothing else, it's a yabba dabba doo time.
It's a gay old time.
posted by maxsparber at 2:42 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
If nothing else, it's a yabba dabba doo time.
It's a gay old time.
posted by maxsparber at 2:42 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
If a NYT "opinion" piece consists of bold-alternating-with-regular one-sentence fake Q&A's -- like Deborah Solomon (or Vanity Fair's Proust questionnaires or every piece of copy in Interview ever) but taken to the extreme -- is that a selfie?
posted by blucevalo at 2:43 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by blucevalo at 2:43 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Is this comment a selfie?
posted by blue_beetle at 2:43 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 2:43 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
If a man has been living in a cave all his life with his legs and neck chained such that he cannot move and can only see directly in front of himself and having been prevented by the chains from turning his neck his entire life, and above and behind him a fire is blazing at a distance and between the fire and the man there is a low wall, if he takes a picture of his shadow, is it a selfie?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:44 PM on July 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:44 PM on July 22, 2015 [6 favorites]
(Speaking of, Plato proves that fake dialogues are a wee bit older than McSweeney's.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:45 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:45 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
I wrote a series of short observational quips about digital culture.
Yes, those are tweets.
But I published them in The New York Times.
Still tweets.
And then people said they belonged in McSweeney's.
Still tweets.
posted by RogerB at 2:47 PM on July 22, 2015 [19 favorites]
Yes, those are tweets.
But I published them in The New York Times.
Still tweets.
And then people said they belonged in McSweeney's.
Still tweets.
posted by RogerB at 2:47 PM on July 22, 2015 [19 favorites]
Pluto, of course, is incapable of taking selfies.
Which pisses me off. They let Goofy wear clothes and walk around and drive cars, but to Pluto they're like "get under the table and bark or we'll cut off more than your tongue."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:52 PM on July 22, 2015 [10 favorites]
Which pisses me off. They let Goofy wear clothes and walk around and drive cars, but to Pluto they're like "get under the table and bark or we'll cut off more than your tongue."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:52 PM on July 22, 2015 [10 favorites]
If a function took a picture of itself and then applied itself to the picture and the result of the function application was the original function would it be a selfie or a y combinator?
posted by alms at 2:58 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by alms at 2:58 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
Followup to alms: if the function was running on a digital horse, would it be an e-quine selfie?
posted by cortex at 3:00 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by cortex at 3:00 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Actual interaction I had today at a coffee shop:
Two cops come in and take the table across from me. They sit down with their drinks, they're having a great time, laughing about stuff, I'm not really paying much attention. One of them hops up with her phone and says, "let's take a selfie!" and they put their heads together and do. Very cute.
And then she turns to me, the nearest person to them, and says, "could you please take a selfie of the two of us?"
posted by phunniemee at 3:14 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
Two cops come in and take the table across from me. They sit down with their drinks, they're having a great time, laughing about stuff, I'm not really paying much attention. One of them hops up with her phone and says, "let's take a selfie!" and they put their heads together and do. Very cute.
And then she turns to me, the nearest person to them, and says, "could you please take a selfie of the two of us?"
posted by phunniemee at 3:14 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
what's this 'selfie' is evolving
it means 'picture of myself' not 'picture I took of myself!?'
go ahead and die a little inside prescriptivists
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:19 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
it means 'picture of myself' not 'picture I took of myself!?'
go ahead and die a little inside prescriptivists
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:19 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
I took a selfie once.
*holds up index finger*
Once. For a while there, half the 20-something dudes I'd run into on the street would say I looked like Zach Galifianakis. I took the selfie so I could get outside confirmation that those guys were full of shit.
posted by brundlefly at 3:29 PM on July 22, 2015
*holds up index finger*
Once. For a while there, half the 20-something dudes I'd run into on the street would say I looked like Zach Galifianakis. I took the selfie so I could get outside confirmation that those guys were full of shit.
posted by brundlefly at 3:29 PM on July 22, 2015
I can't wait until I have a kid and it's 2030 and her best friend is over and I suggest they take a hyperselfie together but instead of letting her Constant Companion™ brand floating AI construct to take it I command mine to do it and she's all "THAT'S NOT EVEN A HYPERSELFIE AUUGH DAD YOU'RE SO EMBARRASSING"
posted by danny the boy at 3:37 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by danny the boy at 3:37 PM on July 22, 2015 [5 favorites]
It is difficult enough, without people actively confusing the issue.
posted by ckape at 3:56 PM on July 22, 2015
posted by ckape at 3:56 PM on July 22, 2015
Is it a picture of you with ill-gotten gains?
That's a pelfie.
posted by kenko at 3:58 PM on July 22, 2015
That's a pelfie.
posted by kenko at 3:58 PM on July 22, 2015
"I just took my own picture," said Tom, selfishly.
posted by alms at 4:14 PM on July 22, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by alms at 4:14 PM on July 22, 2015 [13 favorites]
This reminds me of the Pizza Hut selfie stick PSA
posted by Aranquis at 4:34 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Aranquis at 4:34 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love the concept of selfies, it always seems like an assertion of self esteem, something that seems to be lacking.
Quoted and reposted for truth!
posted by triggerfinger at 4:39 PM on July 22, 2015
Quoted and reposted for truth!
posted by triggerfinger at 4:39 PM on July 22, 2015
This is one of the most factual NYTimes Opinion articles that I have seen in a long time. I can't find anything wrong with it.
posted by demiurge at 4:43 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by demiurge at 4:43 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
If you have your camera set on a timer, an elephant takes your camera with its trunk, and then the resulting photo captures both you and the elephant, is it an elfie?
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 5:05 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 5:05 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
You ever use that Instagram filter that removes one pixel from your photo, and adds the same pixel to another photo in your library? I was bored on a boat one day, and used that filter a lot on a photo of myself from arm's length. And then I had two boats!
posted by ~ at 6:17 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ~ at 6:17 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
Pretty great that now, in 2015, long after the McSweeney's shtick, which was once so fresh and surprising, has grown predictable and even banal, the "big" publications are finally catching on and ham-fistedly imitating it.
(from "Metafilter comments by Joseph Gurl in the mid-summer of 2015 written in the style of Joseph Gurl in the late spring of 2015").
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:10 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
(from "Metafilter comments by Joseph Gurl in the mid-summer of 2015 written in the style of Joseph Gurl in the late spring of 2015").
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:10 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
NO NO wait I got a better question. If you wedge your butt into a copier and press copy and you get a printout of your butt, is THAT a selfie?
You should ask the HR rep when you get called into the conference room.
posted by dances with hamsters at 7:44 PM on July 22, 2015
You should ask the HR rep when you get called into the conference room.
posted by dances with hamsters at 7:44 PM on July 22, 2015
NO NO wait I got a better question. If you wedge your butt into a copier and press copy and you get a printout of your butt, is THAT a selfie?
I think there's an insurance commercial with this plot? Then the out-of-touch photocopying dude says "hashbrown, selfie!" or something.
posted by phunniemee at 8:49 PM on July 22, 2015
I think there's an insurance commercial with this plot? Then the out-of-touch photocopying dude says "hashbrown, selfie!" or something.
posted by phunniemee at 8:49 PM on July 22, 2015
FJT Is it a selfie if—
no
no
no
no
only if you are still controlling the hand
yes
no
posted by yeolcoatl at 10:05 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
no
no
no
no
only if you are still controlling the hand
yes
no
posted by yeolcoatl at 10:05 PM on July 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
If a selfie meet a selfie, comin thro' the rye?
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:34 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:34 PM on July 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
For some reason the line Cortex quoted upthread only made me half-smile, but I fucking lost it at: "Q. What is the self, anyway? A. It is the identifiable subject of a selfie."
posted by en forme de poire at 1:19 AM on July 23, 2015
posted by en forme de poire at 1:19 AM on July 23, 2015
you're all going to hellfie.
posted by orme at 5:10 AM on July 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by orme at 5:10 AM on July 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
the metafilter wit quotient is super high in this thread. i am enjoying immensely. kudos all.
posted by buffalo at 6:05 AM on July 23, 2015
posted by buffalo at 6:05 AM on July 23, 2015
Cookiebastard. Yes.
If I drop my camera down the stairs and before it hits the bottom, shattering the lens and ruining my vacation, it bounces off of the shutter release and takes a picture or me, is it a selfie?
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and direct the camera to myself, is that a selfie?
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and forget where the cameras are located and am recorded while spray painting obscene pictures of my boss, is that a selfie?
What if I forget to wipe the video afterwards?
If I am an X-ray technician and decide to take a picture of my own bones, is that a selfie?
What about an MRI? (Ok, really hard to set up, but the question stands)
What if I am a technician at a nuclear research lab and get in the way of a neutron beam that I set up to perform Neutron Tomography, is this one of the exceedingly rare cool looking selfies? (Please note, do not do this. Neutron Tomography has a bad habit of embedding neutrons in the objects it takes pictures of, turning them radioactive. You do not want the atoms making up your body becoming radioactive.)
posted by Hactar at 6:53 AM on July 23, 2015
If I drop my camera down the stairs and before it hits the bottom, shattering the lens and ruining my vacation, it bounces off of the shutter release and takes a picture or me, is it a selfie?
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and direct the camera to myself, is that a selfie?
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and forget where the cameras are located and am recorded while spray painting obscene pictures of my boss, is that a selfie?
What if I forget to wipe the video afterwards?
If I am an X-ray technician and decide to take a picture of my own bones, is that a selfie?
What about an MRI? (Ok, really hard to set up, but the question stands)
What if I am a technician at a nuclear research lab and get in the way of a neutron beam that I set up to perform Neutron Tomography, is this one of the exceedingly rare cool looking selfies? (Please note, do not do this. Neutron Tomography has a bad habit of embedding neutrons in the objects it takes pictures of, turning them radioactive. You do not want the atoms making up your body becoming radioactive.)
posted by Hactar at 6:53 AM on July 23, 2015
"All existence is a being-at-work-staying-it-selfie"
-Heidegger
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:17 AM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
-Heidegger
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:17 AM on July 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
"That which does not kill us, makes our selfie game stronk."
- @freddie_neech
posted by Rock Steady at 7:43 AM on July 23, 2015
- @freddie_neech
posted by Rock Steady at 7:43 AM on July 23, 2015
There were a lot of unanswered questions.
I-baLL: I took a photo of me having an out of body experience...
An outie.
maxsparber: I am an Irish seal that can turn into a human. Am I a selfie?
No. * hugs *
pipeski: If I make an x-ray of myself, is it a skelfie?
Yes, if you were holding the x-ray camera yourself, otherwise it's a skeletal-portrait.
Rock Steady:
Can you paint a selfie if...
Yes.
What if you paint it in a bathroom so you can look in the mirror?
Yes and it would come out better. See also: mirror selfies.
mhum: What if I propped up a mirror...
I'm inclined to say yes because it's technically a mirror selfie.
Nanukthedog: If a vampire takes a picture of themselves in a mirror is that called an unselfie?
Yes.
cortex: What if...
Objectively, no.
griphus: I took a photo of me during a psychedelic trip...
Yes, a universal selfie.
barchan: If you wedge your butt into a copier...
No, that's a photobuttie.
Elly Vortex: I took a picture of British author Will Self...
A Selfie.
jedicus: You see a trolley rushing towards 5 people...
No, that's a mass-murderie.
prize bull octorok: If a monadic godhead shatters itself...
Yes, if there is evidence we all originated from said godhead.
cortex: If a character in a cartoon holds his phone up...
Yes, that is a living. Eh.
blucevalo: If a NYT "opinion" piece...
No?
No.
blue_beetle: Is this comment a selfie?
No.
MCMikeNamara: If a man has been living in a cave all his life...
No, see also: pictures of body parts.
alms: If a function took a picture of itself...
A self-functionie.
cortex: Followup to alms: if the function was running on a digital horse...
Yes.
ckape: What now, New York Times?
As an inanimate (fucking) object, camera has no concept of self.
Cookiebastard: Is a dick pic a selfie?
No, see also: pictures of body parts.
obscure simpsons reference: If you have your camera set on a timer, an elephant takes your camera with its trunk...
Yes, an elfie.
Hactar:
If I drop my camera down the stairs...
No.
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and direct the camera to myself...
Yes, if you take a screenshot of the recording.
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and forget where the cameras are...
Yes, because you can accidentally selfie with any camera, but again, only if a screenshot is taken.
What if I forget to wipe the video afterwards?
Yes, see above.
If I am an X-ray technician...
A skelfie, as suggested by pipeski above.
What about an MRI?
A magnetic resonie, only if you somehow operated the machine with your own hands a la Mr. Fantastic while lying in it.
What if I am a technician at a nuclear research lab...
A neutron tomographie, if you were holding the neutron beam apparatus. If you set it on a timer and run in front of it then it's just a self-neutron-tomography-portrait.
posted by numaner at 9:15 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I-baLL: I took a photo of me having an out of body experience...
An outie.
maxsparber: I am an Irish seal that can turn into a human. Am I a selfie?
No. * hugs *
pipeski: If I make an x-ray of myself, is it a skelfie?
Yes, if you were holding the x-ray camera yourself, otherwise it's a skeletal-portrait.
Rock Steady:
Can you paint a selfie if...
Yes.
What if you paint it in a bathroom so you can look in the mirror?
Yes and it would come out better. See also: mirror selfies.
mhum: What if I propped up a mirror...
I'm inclined to say yes because it's technically a mirror selfie.
Nanukthedog: If a vampire takes a picture of themselves in a mirror is that called an unselfie?
Yes.
cortex: What if...
Objectively, no.
griphus: I took a photo of me during a psychedelic trip...
Yes, a universal selfie.
barchan: If you wedge your butt into a copier...
No, that's a photobuttie.
Elly Vortex: I took a picture of British author Will Self...
A Selfie.
jedicus: You see a trolley rushing towards 5 people...
No, that's a mass-murderie.
prize bull octorok: If a monadic godhead shatters itself...
Yes, if there is evidence we all originated from said godhead.
cortex: If a character in a cartoon holds his phone up...
Yes, that is a living. Eh.
blucevalo: If a NYT "opinion" piece...
No?
No.
blue_beetle: Is this comment a selfie?
No.
MCMikeNamara: If a man has been living in a cave all his life...
No, see also: pictures of body parts.
alms: If a function took a picture of itself...
A self-functionie.
cortex: Followup to alms: if the function was running on a digital horse...
Yes.
ckape: What now, New York Times?
As an inanimate (fucking) object, camera has no concept of self.
Cookiebastard: Is a dick pic a selfie?
No, see also: pictures of body parts.
obscure simpsons reference: If you have your camera set on a timer, an elephant takes your camera with its trunk...
Yes, an elfie.
Hactar:
If I drop my camera down the stairs...
No.
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and direct the camera to myself...
Yes, if you take a screenshot of the recording.
If I am in charge of a CCTV setup and forget where the cameras are...
Yes, because you can accidentally selfie with any camera, but again, only if a screenshot is taken.
What if I forget to wipe the video afterwards?
Yes, see above.
If I am an X-ray technician...
A skelfie, as suggested by pipeski above.
What about an MRI?
A magnetic resonie, only if you somehow operated the machine with your own hands a la Mr. Fantastic while lying in it.
What if I am a technician at a nuclear research lab...
A neutron tomographie, if you were holding the neutron beam apparatus. If you set it on a timer and run in front of it then it's just a self-neutron-tomography-portrait.
posted by numaner at 9:15 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
what's this 'selfie' is evolving
it means 'picture of myself' not 'picture I took of myself!?'
go ahead and die a little inside prescriptivists
More like 'picture anyone took of anyone's self'. Which is more dissolution than evolution. Kind of like how clickbait went from "obfuscating or misleading headline with copy that fails to deliver" to "an article written with the expectation that people would want to read it".
posted by deathmaven at 11:13 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
it means 'picture of myself' not 'picture I took of myself!?'
go ahead and die a little inside prescriptivists
More like 'picture anyone took of anyone's self'. Which is more dissolution than evolution. Kind of like how clickbait went from "obfuscating or misleading headline with copy that fails to deliver" to "an article written with the expectation that people would want to read it".
posted by deathmaven at 11:13 AM on July 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
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posted by I-baLL at 1:52 PM on July 22, 2015 [2 favorites]