Come get fisted right in the heart
July 28, 2015 8:04 AM   Subscribe

I have some retroactive fondness for the more text based, old fashioned hookup sites cause they usually involved a lot more back and forth and as a 19 year old new in town with no friends, I made a couple of long lasting friendships through sites proportedly just about shopping for sex partners.

I often vaccinate on if these things make the "treat people as objects to be shopped for" worse or just strip it of pretense, but then again I've never been very successful at them (Got married at 27 for a reason!) like, I always wonder what kind of experience guys who are more conventionally attractive have (does ab privilege exist?) or if tits just terrible for everyone?

(I suspect the later cause in say, Italy, the more conventional, analogscruising scene still exists and it seems to involve mostly not having sex and a lot of standing around looking super tough.)
posted by The Whelk at 8:36 AM on July 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

.....vacillate, surely?
posted by sciatrix at 9:01 AM on July 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

Autocorrect makes fools of us all
posted by The Whelk at 9:02 AM on July 28, 2015 [6 favorites]

When your autocorrect replaces "its" with "tits", you might want to get that looked at.
posted by me & my monkey at 9:16 AM on July 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

Nitpicking poor Whelk's comment mostly because I'm dying to listen to this thing but work. I don't suppose anyone has a transcript?
posted by sciatrix at 9:20 AM on July 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

does ab privilege exist?

Having not heard of this term before, I did a quick search, and scanned the articles to find out what 'AB' stood for. Blood type preference, similar to how its sometimes used in Japan for relationship compatibility, not unlike how the west uses astrologial symbols? A term to describe the issues between two people with differing personality types. i.e. Alpha vs. Beta? It didn't occur to me initially that it simply was about abdominal muscles.

We might be approaching the beginning of "peak abbreviations," where words with less than 5 letters are more likely to be abbreviations rather than their 'classic' meaning that makes communication increasingly difficult.
A phenomena I think I'll call "PAID" (Peak Abbreviations Increase Difficulty) to make it catchier.
posted by chambers at 9:30 AM on July 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

does ab privilege exist?

Yup. YOu and I have similar body types and they are a niche market. The majority of MSM go for the abs (self included so I'm part of the problem here.)
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:33 AM on July 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

I... read "ab privilege" as referring to "the privilege of having visible abdominal muscles." (See here this gentleman.) That is, a shorthand for "conventionally attractive man." In context, that makes way more sense than the blood type thing.
posted by sciatrix at 9:33 AM on July 28, 2015

That last link reminds me of sexually ambiguous puppies just starting to feel like they have to hump everything, and everybody, in sight.

Drunk puppies.
posted by clvrmnky at 10:08 AM on July 28, 2015

does ab privilege exist?

One of the more interesting things about straight men is how specific one can be about one's tastes in physical appearance.

That is to say it's likely that most straight men do not find whoever is on the cover of Cosmo to be especially attractive. It's far more complicated than that.
posted by Nevin at 10:42 AM on July 28, 2015

wonder what kind of experience guys who are more conventionally attractive have (does ab privilege exist?) or if tits just terrible for everyone?

Yeah, here in SF it's... interesting. Here, "conventionally attractive" is received with a very different meaning from most other places. Thick beards and stocky bods are all the rage, but at the two dance parties I went to this weekend,* well:
  • At an underwear party(!) pitched towards the bear community(!!) I still felt awkward and invisible taking my shirt off because even though I'm an Ironman(!!!) and not a bad-looking guy,** I don't have abs and there are plenty o' dudes at every single event here who do.
  • At a sportswear-party, I marveled at all the guys wearing singlets which were clearly never designed for any athletic activity and how out-of-place I would've looked wearing any trisuit or padded bib shorts in my closet (because: see above) since their design is actually optimized for exercise, not for aesthetics.
...and even in the land Being Yourself and Everyone's Beautiful, there's still a premium on looking fit regardless of how in-shape one actually is. (Also, practically every gay bar here has go-go boys. Very few of them have bellies.) Ab privilege exists.

*Note: This was a very unusual weekend.
**If I do say so myself.
posted by psoas at 1:09 PM on July 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

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