It's like, how much more black could this chicken be?

August 4, 2015 12:14 PM

And the answer is none. None more black. A look at Ayam Cemani, a breed of chicken so black you half expect to see it smoking clove cigarettes and listening to Bauhaus. Black feathers, skin, muscle, bones, and a black, black heart.

Though, apparently, it tastes like chicken.

posted by SansPoint (37 comments total)

That's a black chicken, but it's not vantablack black. But thank you for the laugh, I had a college roommate in the 80s that smoked clove cigarettes and listened to Bauhaus.
posted by Rob Rockets at 12:33 PM on August 4, 2015 [4 favorites]

They have support groups for that now.
posted by jonmc at 12:38 PM on August 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

That chicken would turn you on to some Mingus, but you just wouldn't get it.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:39 PM on August 4, 2015 [7 favorites]

That's a black chicken, but it's not vantablack black.

I believe you mean fuligin, the color that is darker than black. I personally wouldn't want a chicken that was like peering into the void - much less a chicken sandwich - but YMMV.
posted by Frowner at 12:48 PM on August 4, 2015 [9 favorites]

Order eggs off eBay and you might find yourself hatching out counterfeit chicks of silver or brown.

So... it seems someone... is caching forged chicks.

*Sunglasses*

*Guitar*
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:54 PM on August 4, 2015 [69 favorites]

"The horror! The horror! Extra crispy!"
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:09 PM on August 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

The only way that chicken could be more metal is if its name was Olaf.
posted by echocollate at 1:10 PM on August 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

They're gorgeous!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 1:14 PM on August 4, 2015 [5 favorites]

There's a traditional black chicken breed in France, too, the Gélines de Touraine. It's a handsome bird, although not the black-on-black-on-black of the Ayam Cemani.

Gorgeous, but also delicious! One of my fond memories of my second trip to the Loire was seeing these birds strutting about somewhere in the Touraine. And then asking our waiter that evening at the Chateau de Noizay about them. "But yes! They are very special! Chef has one on the menu tonight, it is highly recommended". So very tasty, a good strong flavor and juicy.

French chicken just tastes better in general. Not just the celebrated poulet de Bresse, but pretty much any regular market chicken in France has a lot more flavor than an American six pound breast-heavy monstrosity.
posted by Nelson at 1:16 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

You can sometimes get a chicken soup made with these at Rainier Barbecue in Seattle. According to a friend of mine, it's pretty tasty, but it's a traditional treatment for female reproductive problems, so male-presenting folks who order it are treated with curiosity and mild amusement.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 1:18 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

I just have to say, that chicken actually looks blue to me...
posted by Miss Otis' Egrets at 1:26 PM on August 4, 2015 [12 favorites]

But does that chicken front a metal band? #hatebeak
posted by ursus_comiter at 1:27 PM on August 4, 2015 [4 favorites]

I had no idea these existed, that's really interesting. I'm curious to see what the meat looks like, though.

Also, good Spinal Tap reference there. "It's like space without the stars..."
posted by teponaztli at 1:30 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

And the first comment is...

No one is saying it...Can't believe no one is saying it....argghhh someone say it!!!!!

That's a Big Black Cock!!!!
posted by Naberius at 1:32 PM on August 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

This would totally eliminate all those painful "white meat or dark meat" conversations at holidays.
posted by FelliniBlank at 1:34 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

There's a farm in my city that sells this breed of chickens, but the name that they chose for their farm is...umm... rather politcally incorrect.
posted by chara at 1:35 PM on August 4, 2015

That chicken would turn you on to some Mingus, but you just wouldn't get it.

That could end up being sort of suicidal for the chicken, couldn't it?
posted by LionIndex at 1:42 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Mod note: Folks, please be mindful when bringing "other people say racist things about this" examples over here, even just to point out that they're ugh, that you're still introducing those things into the conversation here.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 1:44 PM on August 4, 2015 [9 favorites]

Needs to be bred to a wonderful chicken to get the ultra-rare Gold Chicken
posted by vuron at 1:45 PM on August 4, 2015 [7 favorites]

Listen to the notes he doesn't cluck.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:47 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Those chickens are some fashionistas.
posted by starlybri at 2:04 PM on August 4, 2015

that chicken is obviously white and gold
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:09 PM on August 4, 2015 [10 favorites]

"...where the walls
Of Magnus Martyr hold
Inexplicable chickens of Ionian white and gold."
posted by McCoy Pauley at 2:30 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

In strutted the Lady of the Nazgûl. A great black shape against the coops beyond she loomed up, grown to a vast feathered menace of despair. In strutted the Lady of the Nazgûl, down the chicken ladder that no enemy ever yet had climbed and all fled before her bobbing beak.

"Come not between the Nazgûl and her prey. Or she will not peck at thee in thy turn. She will bear thee away to the houses of clucking, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh will be pecked at, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Egg."
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:42 PM on August 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

FYI, in Indonesian, "Cemani" is pronounced cheh-ma-ni. Not sure how it's pronounced in Dutch but likely the same...
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 3:30 PM on August 4, 2015

Didn't realized this was unknown in the west. My (Taiwanese) mom used to cook black chicken soup every once in a while. Here's a food-focused article from the NYTimes, about one of the related breeds, the Silkie. It includes photos of the skin and meat, for those who were curious.
posted by danny the boy at 3:52 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Blaaaaack-black-black-black-black...
posted by Devonian at 4:12 PM on August 4, 2015 [4 favorites]

That is a terrifyingly beautiful bird. Of course a bird like that would be ascribed magickal properties. What an amazing familiar one of these would be. If nothing else I bet it would intimidate the shit out of your enemies on looks alone.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 4:31 PM on August 4, 2015 [4 favorites]

But if you try to image them with an MRI they are all white (the paramagnetics in the melanin work as a relaxation agent).
posted by 445supermag at 5:17 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Sorry lobstermitten. Feel free to delete my previous comment.
posted by chara at 6:08 PM on August 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Didn't realized this was unknown in the west. My (Taiwanese) mom used to cook black chicken soup every once in a while.

Yes! My (Cantonese) mum also used to make black chicken soup with lots of Chinese herbs. It was supposedly very expensive to get all the ingredients, and the soup took a long time to cook, but was chock full of health benefits.
posted by cynical pinnacle at 7:11 PM on August 4, 2015

So that Vantablack stuff basically is the stuff described as the skin of the Disaster Area stuntship;

It was a ship of classic, simple design, like a flattened salmon, twenty yards long, very clean, very sleek. There was just one remarkable thing about it.

"It's so ... black!" said Ford Prefect. "You can hardly make out its shape ... light just seems to fall into it!"

Zaphod said nothing. He had simply fallen in love.

The blackness of it was so extreme that it was almost impossible to tell how close you were standing to it.

"Your eyes just slide off it ..." said Ford in wonder. It was an emotional moment. He bit his lip.

Neat. We've now got The Guide, the ship skin, and obviously of course the uncaring universe with a surreal and hateful sense of humour. I wonder what will be next?
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:15 PM on August 4, 2015 [4 favorites]

This article should have included some chicken gut pictures.

first time in history those words have been written
posted by ymgve at 6:35 AM on August 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

In strutted the Lady of the Nazgûl.

Long had it been forging in the dark smithies of Mordor, and its hideous head, founded of black steel, was shaped in the likeness of a ravening chicken; on it spells of ruin lay. Graa-k-k-k they named it, in memory of the Hen of the Underworld of old.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:45 AM on August 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

This all reminds me - soon it will be time for the state fair, and there are always adorable black rabbits and ducks and geese to visit, as well as usually some black chickens. Visiting the state fair always firms up my vegan resolve, because I immediately see all the animals as cute little pets.

I did eat black chicken foot soup when I worked in China - a very wealthy family had invited my co-teacher (and then, incidentally, me) for a few days at their country place (this was in the late nineties, when having a nice apartment, a house in the country and a new SUV was practically like being Bill Gates - also they had a factory) and they really blew out all the stops. Fancy crabs from a famous lake, black chicken feet, stuff I don't really remember at this point. The wife in the partnership was probably the most elegant woman I have ever seen in the flesh - not so much beautiful, although she was certainly good-looking, but extremely elegant in her every motion. She could even pick up single peanuts in chopsticks and make it look like table-top ballet.

The chicken was all right. I got crab yoke down my front. Ultimately I was relieved when we went home and rather wished I'd stayed behind instead - although not through the fault of our hosts but more through my own general still-adjusting-to-working-in-Shanghai-plus-not-accustomed-to-crab fault.
posted by Frowner at 7:07 AM on August 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Swedish Bohuslän-Dals svarthöna, the Vietnamese Black H’Mong, and the Silkie, an ancient breed of fluffy, five-toed chickens with feathers that look like hair.

These are pretty clearly hens bred by Nyarlathotep.
posted by Chrysostom at 2:12 PM on August 5, 2015

Chicken soup for the rockstar who's spending a year dead for tax reasons's soul.
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:43 AM on August 6, 2015