Chimpanzees and monkeys have entered the Stone Age
August 18, 2015 3:56 PM Subscribe
We think of the Stone Age as something that early humans lived through. But we are not the only species that has invented it.
* builds plywood monolith, whistling cheerily *
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 4:06 PM on August 18, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 4:06 PM on August 18, 2015 [9 favorites]
In 250,000 to 2,500,000 years we are totally screwed.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:18 PM on August 18, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by ZenMasterThis at 4:18 PM on August 18, 2015 [10 favorites]
That's a crazy concept that had never occurred to me. Watch out, those Chimps are stronger and meaner than they look!
posted by Windopaene at 4:30 PM on August 18, 2015
posted by Windopaene at 4:30 PM on August 18, 2015
Imagine what could happen if one of them stumbles across a typewriter.
posted by briank at 4:39 PM on August 18, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by briank at 4:39 PM on August 18, 2015 [11 favorites]
It will be the blurst of times, surely.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 4:39 PM on August 18, 2015 [25 favorites]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 4:39 PM on August 18, 2015 [25 favorites]
Bears Discover Fire, by Terry Bisson
The fire was mostly of sycamore and beech branches, the kind that puts out very little heat or light and lots of smoke. The bears hadn’t learned the ins and outs of wood yet. They did okay at tending it, though. A large cinnamon brown northern-looking bear was poking the fire with a stick, adding a branch now and then from a pile at his side. The others sat around in a loose circle on the logs. Most were smaller black or honey bears, one was a mother with cubs. Some were eating berries from a hubcap. Not eating, but just watching the fire, my mother sat among them with the bedspread from the Home around her shoulders.
posted by bartleby at 4:52 PM on August 18, 2015 [13 favorites]
The fire was mostly of sycamore and beech branches, the kind that puts out very little heat or light and lots of smoke. The bears hadn’t learned the ins and outs of wood yet. They did okay at tending it, though. A large cinnamon brown northern-looking bear was poking the fire with a stick, adding a branch now and then from a pile at his side. The others sat around in a loose circle on the logs. Most were smaller black or honey bears, one was a mother with cubs. Some were eating berries from a hubcap. Not eating, but just watching the fire, my mother sat among them with the bedspread from the Home around her shoulders.
posted by bartleby at 4:52 PM on August 18, 2015 [13 favorites]
YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
posted by SansPoint at 6:10 PM on August 18, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by SansPoint at 6:10 PM on August 18, 2015 [6 favorites]
Apparently, BBC has not yet entered the mobile web age, though, judging by how many times that page crashed and reloaded for me.
Anyway...it's a really startling (yet obvious once you're presented with it) realization. Hopefully, we will have worked out the problem of marking our nuclear waste dumps with some sort of universally-understandable signage by the time the chimps take over.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:24 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
Anyway...it's a really startling (yet obvious once you're presented with it) realization. Hopefully, we will have worked out the problem of marking our nuclear waste dumps with some sort of universally-understandable signage by the time the chimps take over.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:24 PM on August 18, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think I saw one at the zoo using a selfie-stick!
posted by AGameOfMoans at 6:43 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by AGameOfMoans at 6:43 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
The Onion: "Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs"
posted by koavf at 11:27 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by koavf at 11:27 PM on August 18, 2015 [1 favorite]
A big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:48 AM on August 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 5:48 AM on August 19, 2015 [4 favorites]
The Onion: "Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs"
I wouldn't worry about it, that dolphin looks baked. He'll be lucky if he can get off the dolphin couch to get a new bag of dolphin Cheetos.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:36 AM on August 19, 2015
I wouldn't worry about it, that dolphin looks baked. He'll be lucky if he can get off the dolphin couch to get a new bag of dolphin Cheetos.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:36 AM on August 19, 2015
Wow. That page took out every tab downstream of it in my Chrome session. (Ubu 14.04.) Gorilla cyberwar?
posted by Devonian at 3:16 PM on August 19, 2015
posted by Devonian at 3:16 PM on August 19, 2015
Apparently, BBC has not yet entered the mobile web age, though, judging by how many times that page crashed and reloaded for me.
It worked fine on my bananaphone.
posted by IAmBroom at 10:52 AM on August 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
It worked fine on my bananaphone.
posted by IAmBroom at 10:52 AM on August 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
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I saw what you did there, and this stone has your name on it.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:04 PM on August 18, 2015 [9 favorites]