Leaving Everywhere
August 27, 2015 12:47 AM   Subscribe

I've looked at the US Census Bureau data, and the numbers don't lie. They paint a dire picture. On top of all that they closed one of my favorite mac & cheese joints. Look, I still love this place. Sometimes. But I'm done with wherever I am. Best of luck to those who stay wherever they are.
posted by a lungful of dragon (34 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite
 
"There's a lot I'm going to miss about this place. The trails, the department stores, the light rails. My longtime government program eligibility interviewer, Reagan." Wow, I wouldn't want to be an interviewee in Pharr, Texas.
posted by thetortoise at 1:28 AM on August 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


The site's not loading for me -- if anyone else is having the same trouble, here's an explanatory tweet (with an example, posted as an image):
I made a toy that generates those "Why I'm Leaving [City]" essays using real US Census data
Thanks for sharing this! I love Darius Kazemi's work.
posted by daisyk at 1:32 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is there any way to tell it where I'm leaving? I can't imagine not expecting everyone to want to put in their hometown.
posted by traveler_ at 1:38 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Not that there's anything wrong with Chicago! For instance, there are 2706101 people. The people of Chicago should be commended for that.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 4:24 AM on August 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


I fully support this.
posted by Literaryhero at 4:54 AM on August 27, 2015


"The makeup of the neighborhoods is changing, too. According to the 2013 American Community Survey conducted by the US Census Bureau, Pacific Islander folks make up 0.09% of the population. I sometimes don't even recognize this city anymore."

I know this is a joke website and all, but this is a good example to point to when people say computers/algorithms can't be racist.
posted by ropeladder at 5:19 AM on August 27, 2015 [4 favorites]


I mean, look, I still love this place. Sometimes. For example, 0% of people speak Yiddish. The people of Jersey City should be commended for that.

Okay, Adolf, we get it.
posted by letourneau at 5:21 AM on August 27, 2015 [19 favorites]


Why I'm leaving Fresno, California
No need to elaborate.

Then there's the whole diversity issue. I'm as tolerant as the next person, but Black folks make up 7.860324787997261% of the population.
o_O
posted by Redfield at 5:23 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ha, letourneau! I just got the same for Orlando, Florida, where you would assume there are more people speaking Yiddish.
posted by numaner at 5:24 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Why I'm leaving Fort Worth, Texas
[...]
But I've looked at the census data, and the numbers don't lie. They paint a dire picture. Did you know that 0.08% of people speak Japanese?
[...]
I also carefully considered the kind of people who live here. Did you know that 34.21% of the people here are Hispanic? I didn't want to make this about race, but it can't be avoided.


So one of the Japanese internment camps during WW2 was in Seagoville, TX, about an hour away from Fort Worth. There's some interesting intersectionality and racism here.
posted by numaner at 5:34 AM on August 27, 2015


Considering I help provide ACS data as a profession, this is going to go over big at work today.
posted by mcstayinskool at 6:03 AM on August 27, 2015 [3 favorites]


We have 5818 women working in management, business, science, or the arts here. I can't stand it.

So you vote against Nine to Five for movie night, huh?
posted by Monochrome at 7:18 AM on August 27, 2015


Redfield: Then there's the whole diversity issue. I'm as tolerant as the next person, but Black folks make up 7.860324787997261% of the population.

That's actually a very high tolerance.
posted by traveler_ at 7:19 AM on August 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


The decision to add a race/ethnic clause to every single output seems a little strange in 2015.
posted by scose at 7:24 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


One of the examples that popped was moving from Portland to New Orleans which is what a friend of mine did a few years ago. Thankfully she did not move there to get away from our tiny Black population.

of course, I do wonder about the closed Ukrainian restaurant that I missed out on...
posted by vespabelle at 7:35 AM on August 27, 2015


According to Google Maps, wherever you go, there you are.
posted by haricotvert at 7:43 AM on August 27, 2015


I wish you could put in places.
posted by graventy at 8:02 AM on August 27, 2015


For instance, NaN% of people commute to work by public transit. The people of Santa Ana should be commended for that.

Wow! That's either a lot or a little depending on what text generated what I presume is the "Not A Number" error.
posted by The Bellman at 8:21 AM on August 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


I've clicked through dozens of these and haven't found one Minnesota one. I can only assume it's because this is such a great place to live that no one ever wants to leave.

I love when it generates things that are inadvertently funny, especially the "things I'll miss" parts, which are sometimes a little WTF:

Why I'm leaving Phoenix, Arizona
Maybe I'm just not cut out for Phoenix. In just a few weeks I'll be moving to Montgomery, Alabama.
There's a lot I'm going to miss about this place. My longtime sales representative, Sadie. My favorite slot supervisor, Karen. My local health and safety engineer, Lydia. When this town is good, it's great.


Why I'm leaving Dayton, Ohio
There's a lot I'm going to miss about this place. My favorite power distributor, Caroline. The conferences, the Comfort Food restaurants, the daycares. The radio stations, the intersections, the adult boutiques. Sigh.


Why I'm leaving Indianapolis (balance), Indiana
I'm going to miss things about this city for sure. The Gluten-free restaurants, the adult boutiques, the laundry services. My favorite parking lot attendant, Adam. My longtime credit analyst, Gabrielle. Good times.


Also -

Why I'm leaving San Francisco, California
I don't want to be entirely negative. For instance, average rent is just $1,428. This is something everyone can aspire to


lol

And also, what the hell is in Ladue, MO that gives it a median income of ~$92k and a median household income of ~$176k??

And I never thought I'd ever say this, but Jersey City sounds awesome
posted by triggerfinger at 9:13 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


The decision to add a race/ethnic clause to every single output seems a little strange in 2015.

Have you met any people lately?
posted by brennen at 9:19 AM on August 27, 2015 [10 favorites]


I am leaving Ogden, Utah. Ogden, the second worst urban area in the US for bias in male / female pay ratio. You can bet I am not moving to Provo, Utah, which is number one.

I hate leaving the clean air, the mountains, the streams, the long bands of orange clouds, purple clouds out over the lake at evening time, my favorite cafe, the elderberries, wild apples, the murmering the raucous streams which run in beaten gold reflection near sundown. I leave behind the deer I scared up yesterday, but I'll keep the irridescent antique bottle I found in tall grass at the mouth of a little draw.

I leave behind the giant grain silos and the cheery cereal factory, with the clouds of pigeons suddenly rising up to paint the cereal encrusted roof with their shadows. I leave behind the still obscured stopsign, where as a girl, I had my first traffic accident. I leave behind the house I used to live in, and the fact that as many of my old associates are now dead, as are living.

I leave behind the jets tearing up the quiet of the town, brutally echoing off the cliffs with rocket roar, again, again, again. I leave behind the fatal drive by shooting, a half mile from my place, and the homeless Katrina victim who lives in the Post Office parking lot with her little dog, and the head injury from an accident, and the cancer from the chemical company she worked for as a cleaner; from where she quit, three days before the whole thing blew up.

I leave behind the sight of my first apartment, where I read the Tolkien Trilogy in three days, the first three days after I first left home. I leave behind the funky mountain cabins I saw yesterday on a road I've never traveled, wanting one and maybe being able to live in one, to find out I am suddenly too old to do such a thing. They say you can't go home, in some cases they are right. This was never home and no place shall be, military brats are at heart homeless, friendless. I am thinking of moving to anyplace I am at any moment, somewhere between what is in my mind, and what is before me, no translators from far afield. I am not too old for the road to roll beneath me, but I am too old to believe that anything will be different.
posted by Oyéah at 9:34 AM on August 27, 2015 [6 favorites]


the "things I'll miss" parts, which are sometimes a little WTF:
[...]
My longtime credit analyst, Gabrielle.


But see, my longtime credit analyst, Steve, is just a dick and I will not miss him.
posted by numaner at 9:36 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


I got Rockville, Maryland. Don't go back to Rockville...
posted by Anne Neville at 9:41 AM on August 27, 2015 [5 favorites]


Ladue is in St. Louis County. It, along with other St. Louis County towns like University City and Clayton are some of the exceptionally wealthy, predominantly White towns leaching off of St. Louis, North County, and other primarily black towns, and continuing to profit from racism and segregation. It is fantastically well off. Just like Clayton, parts of UCity, etc.
posted by ChuraChura at 10:00 AM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Of course, Glen Ellyn has much to offer. My local air traffic controller, Fernando.

I don't want to reload the page for another because this is perfect.
posted by Spatch at 10:49 AM on August 27, 2015 [7 favorites]


If you HAVE a longtime credit analyst, you may have problems unrelated to where you live.

But this may be the best example of non-static web content not containing the words "Markov" and "joshmillard.com".
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:15 AM on August 27, 2015 [2 favorites]


This is where I jump in and make my soapbox speech about how none of this fun and games would be possible if the GOP House had its way, because they would like to get rid of the ACS altogether.
posted by blucevalo at 11:49 AM on August 27, 2015 [3 favorites]


My local air traffic controller, Fernando.

There was something in the air that night...
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:10 PM on August 27, 2015 [8 favorites]


ChuraChura, what you're saying is certainly true of Ladue and St. Louis County as a whole, and about the effect of the city/county split, but I'm not sure why you single out U City (50% white, 41% black) or Clayton (78% white). Those are inner-ring suburbs. West County is where the richest, whitest neighborhoods are.
posted by thetortoise at 1:36 PM on August 27, 2015


Thetortoise - I went to Wash U and my experience of Clayton in particular was that it is way whiter and wealthier than the closest St. Louis city neighborhood and went out of its way to gate things off. University City, too, to a lesser degree. The gentrification of The Loop, for example. I give my alma mater a fair share of the blame for that!
posted by ChuraChura at 1:58 PM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


I know this is a joke website and all, but this is a good example to point to when people say computers/algorithms can't be racist.

As an example of why it's true? Because I'm pretty sure what's happening is someone told the algo to select the $ETHNIC_GROUP with the highest year-over-year percent increase and put those values in the string as so:
"The makeup of the neighborhoods is changing, too. According to the $YEAR American Community Survey conducted by the US Census Bureau, $ETHNIC_GROUP folks make up ($POPULATION[$ETHNIC_GROUP] / $TOTAL) of the population. I sometimes don't even recognize this city anymore."
posted by MikeKD at 2:25 PM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ladue is in St. Louis County. It, along with other St. Louis County towns like University City and Clayton are some of the exceptionally wealthy, predominantly White towns leaching off of St. Louis, North County, and other primarily black towns, and continuing to profit from racism and segregation. It is fantastically well off. Just like Clayton, parts of UCity, etc.

Huh, interesting. It stood out because it seemed exceptionally high to me (and obviously, it is) and it wasn't NYC or some other place that we know has hugely wealthy people. When I think about the suburbs around here, there are definitely very wealthy parts, but I never thought they were that high as there always seem to be pockets of more average-income households. Although, wikipedia does state that it's one of the highest income cities in the US, so.
posted by triggerfinger at 2:29 PM on August 27, 2015


ChuraChura, your points are solid, and I'm being way too nitpicky, sorry. I tend to get prickly about that part of town because my family is from the old Jewish neighborhoods there, but St. Louis's problems with racism are at least as visible and real in the rich-poor/black-white divide and gating in U City and Clayton as anywhere else. Obviously I haven't shed my St. Louis parochialism and white-person-defensiveness even after a few years away.

triggerfinger, I hope this isn't too far afield from the topic, but Ladue has also made the news recently because the former police chief was allegedly ordered to racially profile and increase traffic stops of black motorists. He claimed he was fired because he wouldn't do it. The ongoing saga is fascinating.
posted by thetortoise at 2:56 PM on August 27, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm 10 minutes away from Rockville! The closest I've gotten though was Baltimore, and the reasons for leaving it were hilariously nonsensical.
posted by numaner at 2:57 PM on August 27, 2015


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