How Depression Will Save Skype
September 2, 2015 9:20 AM   Subscribe

 
This is one of my favorite internet things ever!
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 9:23 AM on September 2, 2015


YES
posted by shakespeherian at 9:24 AM on September 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


NO

nothing will make me wear skinny jeans

you will pry these lulu leggings from my cold dead hands/legs
posted by poffin boffin at 9:27 AM on September 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


So, computer generated mad libs, basically?
posted by cosmic.osmo at 9:31 AM on September 2, 2015


> Are Millennials Getting High On Tinder?

Well, technically, weed is tinder.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:31 AM on September 2, 2015


Resolved:

1. NoraReed rules

2. Twitter's mobile interface is hot garbage.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:33 AM on September 2, 2015 [14 favorites]


Neat! By @NoraReed, of course. She makes the best bots.

That's a thoughtful analysis by Slate, too.
posted by zarq at 9:34 AM on September 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


you will pry these lulu leggings from my cold dead hands/legs

you bought a zentai suit

you bought a zentai suit and you don't want to return it because you are embarassed
posted by griphus at 9:34 AM on September 2, 2015 [6 favorites]


MeFi's Own.
posted by Cash4Lead at 9:35 AM on September 2, 2015


Oyéah extruded into skinny jeans, a new branch of pbysics.

Woot! Nora Reed!
posted by Oyéah at 9:35 AM on September 2, 2015


Is this stiob?
posted by PMdixon at 9:36 AM on September 2, 2015


I also like this Vice parody account, which is similar, though not automated.
posted by Ian A.T. at 9:36 AM on September 2, 2015


Here’s the problem: Any critique of think-piece culture—and there have been plenty of them—is bound to contribute to the category it challenges.

This being a line in a Slate piece about a think piece bot is making my head hurt. It's like when my grandparents used to have mirrors hanging in opposite sides of their living room and I would stare into them imagining I could see forever.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:38 AM on September 2, 2015 [12 favorites]


(which isn't meant as a slight on the article, which I think is actually great, and I'm super glad to see the bot and its creator getting the attention it and she deserves)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:39 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


you bought a zentai suit

i had to google this and i am sad that it is not a baby sack, that sack baby looked so delighted

i want a fleece sack dammit
posted by poffin boffin at 9:41 AM on September 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


Oh and obviously a linen one for warmer months.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:42 AM on September 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


Will Thinkpieces About Thinkpiece Bots Save This Slate Writer's Career?

(I love this bot)
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:45 AM on September 2, 2015 [4 favorites]


Are Zombies Why Young People Can't Go to Church?
that merits investigation.

The FPP link is to the mobile version of twitter which is quite ugly on a proper desktop. I had to remove "mobile" out of the url. But that's just me.
posted by numaner at 9:46 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Are Zombies Why Young People Can't Go to Church?

This is applicable to my interests.
posted by zombieflanders at 9:47 AM on September 2, 2015 [11 favorites]


DAILY MAIL: How Breast Cancer Can Ruin YOUR Life

just another reason not to read the daily mail.
posted by numaner at 9:53 AM on September 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


BEWARE THIS IS AN ANTI-TURING TEST
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:53 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Honestly, my favorite thing about @thinkpiecebot is how often I would probably click the link if it was a real article. (I am, most definitely, part of the problem.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:53 AM on September 2, 2015 [7 favorites]


What Copper Jewelry Can Tell Us About Lizard People

Nothing! Lizard people have very reactive and sensitive skin! Um.... or so a friend told me.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:54 AM on September 2, 2015 [5 favorites]


Oops, I made it a mobile link! I posted it from an airplane to New York City so there were problems, I guess! Please help mods!
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 9:56 AM on September 2, 2015


Mod note: Swapped link, carry on.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:58 AM on September 2, 2015 [3 favorites]


Is Airline Internet Access Causing MeFites to Inadvertently Post Mobile Links?
posted by zombieflanders at 9:59 AM on September 2, 2015 [8 favorites]


i love this bot so much and the slate piece was surprisingly good and nuanced.
posted by nadawi at 9:59 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Are Teens Getting High On Cat Videos?

Well, duh? Who isn't?

ONLY BAD PEOPLE!!!!!
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:01 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Thank you LobsterMitten! You are one of the things that makes this site awesome <3
posted by internet fraud detective squad, station number 9 at 10:03 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Fly with confidence, airborne detective squad!
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:09 AM on September 2, 2015 [7 favorites]


It's just called a zentai. Literally means "body tights." Only refers to the thing it is, sans ambiguity. It's like unitard, coveralls, etc.: You wouldn't say "unitard suit" or "coveralls suit," would you?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:15 AM on September 2, 2015




Earlier this week NoraReed asked on Twitter if she should make a conspiracy theory twitter bot. The answer to that is, of course, fuck yes.
posted by brundlefly at 10:19 AM on September 2, 2015 [9 favorites]


>>Are Zombies Why Young People Can't Go to Church?

>that merits investigation.

But then I'd have to get up early on Sundays...
posted by maryr at 10:37 AM on September 2, 2015


It's not really a true modern think-piece until it has a link going to a limited article view news website.
posted by srboisvert at 10:40 AM on September 2, 2015


you bought a zentai suit

Sentai suit?
posted by MartinWisse at 10:49 AM on September 2, 2015


on twitter NoraReed posted a link to her ask.fm, if anyone wants to ask anything about her bots.
posted by nadawi at 10:54 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


Is Pumpkin Spice to Blame For The Ashley Madison Hack?

I hope so?
posted by Sophie1 at 10:55 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


nadawi you asked that question about a SJW conspiracy didn't you?
I'm onto you and your questions

also:
Is Donald Trump to Blame For Dying Bees?

THOSE BEES ARE LOOOOOOSERS
posted by numaner at 11:42 AM on September 2, 2015 [2 favorites]


hi! i wish! that question is awesome.
posted by nadawi at 11:48 AM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


This bot trolls me into apoplectic rage at least once per day.
posted by klangklangston at 12:03 PM on September 2, 2015 [7 favorites]


YEAH BUDDYY
posted by jl87 at 12:17 PM on September 2, 2015


nadawi: "i love this bot so much and the slate piece was surprisingly good and nuanced."

How much better was it than Cats?
posted by Sphinx at 12:23 PM on September 2, 2015


The profile pic -- Grandpa Simpson as pointilist WSJ portrait -- is a nice touch.
posted by HeroZero at 2:17 PM on September 2, 2015 [6 favorites]


I firmly believe that the Internet will eventually be entirely clear of human creators. Machines will be talking to machines, with the occasional hominid dropping in to gaze around in bewilderment and fear.

The first AI will not be an individual. It will be a society.

This post makes me feel considerably better about that future.
posted by AdamCSnider at 2:52 PM on September 2, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm loving, "What can high blood pressure teach us about cocaine?"
posted by broken wheelchair at 5:38 PM on September 2, 2015 [4 favorites]


Seriously, I've enjoyed the other Nora Reed bots, but as someone who is deeply conflicted about pitching "think pieces," this hits me where I live — that knife's edge of "I can't believe they fucking published that" and "I could have written that, goddamnit." The relief every time they're fake is what keeps me coming back.
posted by klangklangston at 10:20 PM on September 2, 2015


This is even better than the Daily Mail headline generator
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 12:45 AM on September 3, 2015


FAQ!
posted by gingerest at 12:14 AM on September 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Excellent FAQ. :)
posted by zarq at 5:01 PM on September 7, 2015


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