Follow the Brown Signs...

September 3, 2015 3:35 AM

If you have driven in the UK, perhaps you have been curious about those little brown signs with tempting drawings of castles or quirky attractions. Amanda Hone was.
"Whenever I was bored it became a bit of thing for me to jump in the car, drive in a random direction and when I spotted a brown sign I’d follow it and visit wherever I ended up, just for fun. I found myself at places I wouldn’t ever have thought of going to before; an otter and owl sanctuary, The National Motoring Museum, an ornate Indian maharajah’s well in the middle of a country village and heading underground into Cheddar’s caves, to name just a few of the early delights. "
What started off as a distraction became a dedicated hobby.
She tells us the 93 different brown signs in the UK.
The history of the brown tourist signs.
Her blog documents some of her quirkier discoveries.
If you want to know more, just Follow the Brown Signs....
posted by vacapinta (34 comments total)

I have long liked the Colchester Siege Elephant and hope one day to see it in action.
posted by dng at 4:00 AM on September 3, 2015 [6 favorites]

I like that they have different signs to denote a woodland walk in a coniferous forest and a woodland walk in a deciduous forest

They also differentiate between
a bird park (parrots) and a bird of prey centre (an owl)
A zoo (Elephant) and a Safari park (Lion)
Canooing, watersports and boat hire are all different
Also Nature Reserve (Duck) and English Nature reserve (Grasses of some sort) are apparently different.

I like the specificity!
For when you absolutely must encode the weight of the horses in your attraction in a single glyph (Equestrian Centre vs Heavy Horse Centre)
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 4:01 AM on September 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

I also like specificity of Equestrian Centre and Heavy Horse Centre.

For when your standard equestrian centre just doesn't cut it.
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 4:11 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Something's wrong; there's only one place marked in Glasgow.

Also …
posted by scruss at 4:20 AM on September 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

"Unique or Unclassified" looks like it could be Bigfoot.
posted by traveler_ at 4:23 AM on September 3, 2015

What is brass rubbing and what does it have to do with a praying knight?
posted by noneuclidean at 4:44 AM on September 3, 2015

One day looking for something to do, we flipped a coin onto a road atlas and determined to obey the will of the coin. To make things more interesting, we decided to travel exclusively (where possible) by B-roads. Somewhere along the route, we saw a brown sign for "Bunker" and decided to go check it out. It took us down a tiny single-lane goat trail where we passed-- I dunno, maybe an abbatoir? Some kind of factory? I prefer to call it a hellmouth for the all-encompassing, putrid stench emanating from it. Gagging, holding our breath, eyes streaming, with the windows rolled up and the air turned off, we sped past it, no longer caring about the bunker so much as just getting away from the sickening smell. We emerged, pale and sweaty, from under the cloud of evil, got our breath back, opened the windows, and resumed our lookout for the bunker for maybe another, I dunno, half mile, whereupon we found ourselves at the end of the road.

And realized there was only one way out.

That was about... 15 years ago? Recalling that smell, which physically caused our mucus membranes to sting and burn, was sort of chemical-y but mostly anaerobic, still makes me feel a little sick.

So take care following brown signs willy-nilly. Although the absence of "Bunker" on the site makes me think it really was a hellmouth.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 4:45 AM on September 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

@noneuclidean

Brass rubbing is the practice of going into medieval buildings where there are brass monumental plaques, often of knights and often on the floor, taking some large sheets of paper and sticks of charcoal, placing the paper over the brass, and rubbing with the charcoal to make a reproduction. Because this eventually damages the brass, there are brass rubbing centres with reproductions where you can go and rub.

As you might expect, this is a particularly English pastime.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 4:49 AM on September 3, 2015 [15 favorites]

I prefer to call it a hellmouth for the all-encompassing, putrid stench emanating from it.

tanneries are the worst thing i have ever smelled, so maybe that? it's almost impossible to acclimate your nose to it and you want to die a lot.
posted by poffin boffin at 4:53 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

I love that the museum ones are so specific, that 5 of the 10 have to do with some mode of transportation, and also that there are two different signs for woodland walks depending on the type of forest.

GallonOfAlan - Ahh, that makes sense. I've only heard of doing that at cemeteries with tomb stones, but I'm in the US so no medieval buildings or knights over here.
posted by noneuclidean at 4:56 AM on September 3, 2015

As you might expect, this is a particularly English pastime.

this is a thing that i thought was specific to schoolchildren on educational tours but idk? brits on holiday do this apparently? what do you do with it afterwards if it is not part of your class presentation though?

nerrrrds
posted by poffin boffin at 4:58 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

They have brown signs in Vermont (at least I think they're brown...) advertising businesses because billboards are banned. When I first went to Vermont, I think my brain went "Oh, yes, brown sign" and it was only later that I registered that they were unusual for the US.

what do you do with it afterwards if it is not part of your class presentation though?

Hang it up in your house. My mom contemplated getting rid of Sir Roger (as he's known) because it's kind of hard to figure out where to put a coffin-sized brass rubbing every time you move. My brother and I revolted and she relented. He's partway up the stairs. (The reproduction brasses usually aren't full-size, but my parents did that one in the 1970s.) There's probably nothing else decorative in the house that would prompt the same reaction.
posted by hoyland at 5:04 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

If you have driven in the UK

(They're all over Europe, and beyond. Not sure when it was first standardized, but the brown background colour is reserved for this purpose in UNECE's latest "Consolidated Resolution on Road Signs and Signals" that builds on the UN convention on Road Signs and Signals.)
posted by effbot at 5:15 AM on September 3, 2015

We did this when we were last in the UK! We had a hire car and a few days unaccounted for, and just drove around and went where the brown signs told us to. It was great!
posted by lollusc at 5:18 AM on September 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

(We did it once in Australia but with signs to vineyards instead of tourist attractions, and we didn't last long before the dedicated driver got grumpy at the unfairness of life.)
posted by lollusc at 5:19 AM on September 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

Brass rubbing is something I've only heard of as part of a 1960s era children's book, like "What should bored boys do", next to looking for earwigs, wearing school shorts with knee length socks, and making a telephone with a piece of string. I suspect it's readers of those books that invented these signs.

Nobody I know does this on holiday. Sorry to disappoint.
posted by emilyw at 5:29 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

And conkers, don't forget the conkers.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:32 AM on September 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

"Is that a good sign?" #airplane

Signs in the UK can be fun. Red signs are military - and when I told my paranoid friend that, he sid "Aha! The things that are secret around here!". I had to tell him gently that this detail is in the Highway Code, the Government-issued book of rules and information that every driver has to know...

But he wasn't so wrong. Back in the 70s, Duncan Campbell - the security journalist - was arrested and charged for divulging official secrets and other crimes against the state. They threw the book at him, and he was looking at 30 years. However, one of the main sets of charges were based on him having information that was entirely within the public domain, including the name and location of one particular establishment. Which was painted on a sign immediately outside it.

A witness for the prosecution, a very senior military figure, said under cross-examination that yes, this name and location was secret and he couldn't even say it in open court. The sign was shown to the court by way of a photograph taken from the public highway. No, he couldn't say anything about it.

"Would you read the sign to the court?"

"I cannot. It's a secret"

By the end of the trial, the witness was holding his head in his hands, saying "I've no idea what's a secret any more.", and the case collapsed.

Signs in the UK can be fun.
posted by Devonian at 5:32 AM on September 3, 2015 [6 favorites]

england! with all thy faults i love thee still
posted by poffin boffin at 5:32 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

I love this! And by this, I mean not only the idea of brown signs, but that someone is crafting little adventures around them and blogging about it. That's definitely my kind of leisure. My version of this domestically is periodically requesting info packets from the official state/county tourism boards and just checking all that little shit out.
posted by drlith at 5:42 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh yes. The specificness! I used to often pass brown signs for the Screech Owl Sanctuary. A sanctuary for screech owls, I thought, (as you would) - how specific! And one day curiosity got the better of me. That was the day I discovered that the sanctuary was somewhat less specifc - it's for any type of owl. But the sign is perhaps more specific - the sanctuary is run by Mr and Mrs Screech. I kid ye not.
posted by merlynkline at 5:53 AM on September 3, 2015 [10 favorites]

it was only later that I registered that they were unusual for the US

That's would be specific to each state. Texas does have brown signs indicating Historical Markers, about a variety of topics.

I don't think I've actually stopped at one but on a road trip one time somehow "historical marker" because "hysterical monster" and that's still what I think of them.
posted by LizBoBiz at 6:05 AM on September 3, 2015

As well as the two horse based attractions, there's three different signs for agricultural museum, farm park, and rare breeds centre....
posted by Helga-woo at 7:01 AM on September 3, 2015

i really want to do an excessive ramble of england (preferably in the most cidery parts) but i can't get the hang of other-side-drive and it's very frustrating.
posted by poffin boffin at 7:23 AM on September 3, 2015

My experience of the most cidery parts suggests that most people haven't got the hang of (other side) driving. So worry no more. Or more, depending.
posted by merlynkline at 7:25 AM on September 3, 2015

Most of the roads out here worth driving aren't wide enough to have actual sides.
posted by vacapinta at 7:31 AM on September 3, 2015 [2 favorites]

No, I mean I have trouble with the actual gears and pedals being on the other side of the car; my brain insists on believing that everything is arranged mirror image instead of being in the exact same conformation, just on the other side of the car. (But also that one roundabout in swindon, why is that even allowed.)
posted by poffin boffin at 7:45 AM on September 3, 2015

The United States also uses brown signs to indicate things of interest. They are no where near as wonderful and diverse in appearance. My wife and I on our honeymoon in England followed one such brown sign to the Broadway Tower folly. It was awesome. A solitary tower that gazed over some woods and fields which were the home of a large herd of red deer. It was a partly overcast day with a cool wind that promised the arrival of autumn. It's among our fondest memories of the trip.
posted by Atreides at 7:47 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

In a possible confluence of signs, the Broadway Tower folly also has a nuclear bunker built under it. And is in a country park. And is a particularly good viewing point. And...
posted by dng at 8:19 AM on September 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

I don't think the US brown signs are all that rare. We had several wide-ranging car vacations as kids to almost every state in the union and I don't remember them being conspicuously absent anywhere—though one wouldn't, I suppose. Anyway I always liked the downhill skiing graphic. So dynamic-looking!
posted by traveler_ at 8:49 AM on September 3, 2015

We did a lot of little side-trips like this when I lived in the UK in the 80s. (And yes, I have FIVE brass rubbings in my house, sadly all from reproductions, but they are all ones my mother and I did ourselves. I'm a history nerd and I own it.)

I added the blog to my RSS feed. It looks a real treat.
posted by immlass at 10:13 AM on September 3, 2015

Swindon, why is that even allowed?

Fixed your question for you. But seriously, the Magic Roundabout is just something Jasper Fforde invented as an 11 year old just to set up a punchline 30 years later in one of his books.

Obviously.
posted by ambrosen at 12:56 PM on September 3, 2015

I want to marry the woman who writes this blog. Just saying in case she pops in here. I'm 45, reasonably good looking, adventurous and I fetishize all the same things you do. I love fine alcohol and could be convinced to start smoking again if that's part of the fun of the road trip. Only serious interest will be entertained as I am already married and have kids.

Email is in my profile.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:58 PM on September 3, 2015 [4 favorites]

Brass rubbing is the practice of going into medieval buildings where there are brass monumental plaques, often of knights and often on the floor, taking some large sheets of paper and sticks of charcoal, placing the paper over the brass, and rubbing with the charcoal to make a reproduction. Because this eventually damages the brass, there are brass rubbing centres with reproductions where you can go and rub.

Indy does it in the Last Crusade! When they are in the library and he finds the shield, he takes a rubbing. It is possibly the closest he ever gets to actually doing any kind of historical investigation.

The UK does have some wonderfully weird attractions. While holidaying in dorset I went to an old mill which had a "museum". This amounted to the mill being filled full of junk from the last century, and a book downstairs with labels for each item. It didn't even had staff, you paid with an honesty box.
posted by Cannon Fodder at 12:58 AM on September 4, 2015