If Game of Thrones had windier hair and explodier dragons

September 5, 2015 5:14 AM

It's been a long time since LA musician Chris Dane Owens first graced the blue (previously). His desire to make epic fantasy music videos clearly remains the same, however, and last year he finally released Light Speed. Porn-taches! Exploding dragons! Sword fights! Pegasuses! A bright green Gretch sparkle jet guitar! What more could a person possibly desire?

If you're new to Chris Dane Owen's epic musical saga Arra of the Third Kingdom, of course, then you should really start with the first part of the planned trilogy, Shine on Me which is now on YouTube in glorious HD.

Confused as to what's going on? Let Chris explain:

ARRA OF THE THIRD KINGDOM is a high fantasy tale about Jade and Arra, who are destined to fall in fall in love, battle relentless evil, and attempt to bring about a golden age for their world.

The land of Sverion, in an era known as the Second Kingdom, is ruled by three beautiful witch empresses known collectively as the Illunari. The Illunari come to misuse the powerful magic known as Gravitas that has been passed down to them. Slowly corrupted by its use, they have worked to secure their position by enslaving the realm. The people of Sverion have been led to believe that without the Illunari, the vicious Dragons would run rampant. Few realise - and even fewer would dare to defy - the witches' true hold upon the land.

Still need more? Chris gives more background into Arra of the Third Kingdom here.

posted by garius (26 comments total)

You can't spell "Pegasus" without US
posted by thelonius at 5:30 AM on September 5, 2015

Gravitas, eh?
posted by cromagnon at 5:30 AM on September 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Pegasvs
posted by I-Write-Essays at 5:36 AM on September 5, 2015

"Gretsch."
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:22 AM on September 5, 2015

His earlier stuff was so much better and more authentic than this overproduced commercialized garbage.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:03 AM on September 5, 2015

Yugh. Every Arthurian trope is used in this poor excuse of a video. How many clichés can one spot per minute? I was almost expecting the knight with the bucket helmet to get his arm lopped off and wander about singing "it's a flesh wound" while squirting gobs of blood. But sadly Monty Python was not invited to lighten up this sad travesty. Didn't like.
posted by seawallrunner at 8:08 AM on September 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Every Arthurian trope is used in this poor excuse of a video.

I demand you bite your tongue. I honourably request satisfaction. I do not think Sir Galahad ever walked into a wall of flame before three skeleton wraiths floated towards the camera preluding a brief shot of a crocodile.

Shine On Me and Light Speed are holy relics in my household. Back when we didn't know that CDO had released an actual write-up of Arra there were deep, contentious conversations about what anything in the videos meant. Thankfully, even with his write-up of Arra, we still don't know what the shit anything means. I showed two Classicists the video and their energetic argument and ongoing documentation of structural problems has continued two years after the fact. That was a fucking mistake. They're busy comparing it to Chanson de Roland.

What we're still trying to work out is: who the hell is Dead Lady Gaga, who bears some passing resemblance to Aelin, Goddess of Light, but isn't??? Who is the Confused-Looking Old Man who appears only once in Shine On Me and then never again? Why is there a crocodile? Will Sterling, Jade and Arra escape their super boss predicament at the end of Lightspeed?????

To be honest, I wish the entire thing was a fantasy miniseries, as the world right now has a terrible paucity of swishing cloaks and people narrowing their eyes at orbs. Thanks for posting.
posted by monster truck weekend at 8:34 AM on September 5, 2015 [3 favorites]

ALSO: I would be living a mistaken life if I left this thread without my quarrel that there is a missing link to the story in the form of a Key & Peele Wendell sketch, The Power of Wings.

Arra really does not need a parody, but I consider it necessary accompaniment
posted by monster truck weekend at 8:46 AM on September 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE THING!
posted by Faintdreams at 9:00 AM on September 5, 2015

To be honest, I wish the entire thing was a fantasy miniseries, as the world right now has a terrible paucity of swishing cloaks and people narrowing their eyes at orbs. Thanks for posting.

I won't lie, since watching these I've got a massive, overwhelming desire to hunt down episodes of the live action Mortal Kombat TV show. It wasn't far off this.
posted by garius at 9:01 AM on September 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Well this seems pretty sincere, but I think we should link to the original "Symphonic Hollywood Metal," Rhapsody, who really were breaking ground.

Emerald Sword
posted by kittensofthenight at 9:29 AM on September 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

kittensofthenight, I am glad you posted that link because it meant I got to watch Christopher Lee singing in THE MAGIC OF THE WIZARD'S DREAM and that was good.

I argue respectfully that it is not analogous to the works of Chris Dane Owens. Rhapsody have a number of shots of clouds scudding ominously overhead and some intriguing hair, but I feel what makes Light Speed and Shine On Me is the fact that they possess a story, or at least the hints of a story. The music must go hand-in-hand with coy suggestions that there's some wider narrative, even if those suggestions are, in the end, lies.
posted by monster truck weekend at 9:41 AM on September 5, 2015

Yeah, setting aside, I'd say CDO has more in common with Meat Loaf. Basically swap helicopters and motorcycles in for horses and dragons and you've got Anything for Love or I'd Lie For You (And That's The Truth).
posted by garius at 9:54 AM on September 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

I can hear that. I concede.
posted by kittensofthenight at 10:15 AM on September 5, 2015

Cheesy goodness. This guy should direct videos for Unleash the Archers, which has IMO a bit more Game of Thronesy aesthetic.
posted by callistus at 10:33 AM on September 5, 2015

This was beautiful and incoherent and wonderful. I am delighted to find that my feeling that this was a hyper-compressed version of a lengthier story is correct.

I have no desire to ever read the lengthier story. The blipvert version was enough.
posted by egypturnash at 10:49 AM on September 5, 2015

Of course, among all these wonderful things that it is, it is also... bad.
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 12:50 PM on September 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

Owens' work is mesmerizing in a way that Ed Wood's is; there is the unmistakable singular vision that tries to overcome the lack of craft and just can't make it. I find myself weirdly rooting for him despite the whole story being a narrative train wreck.
posted by Eikonaut at 4:03 PM on September 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

I enjoyed the dragon POV shot swooping down and breathing fire on the hero and his lady, where he steps to the side and raises his shield to protect himself from the dragon's breath. How noble.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 9:21 PM on September 5, 2015

It's good we have everyone here trashing the video, because it tends to distract attention from how truly banal the music is.
posted by oheso at 5:07 AM on September 6, 2015 [1 favorite]

AHHH I CAN'T WATCH THIS YET BUT OMG. Shine On Me is one of my favorite things on the internet, because it is SO completely ridiculous. Thank you for posting this!!!
posted by bibliogrrl at 9:09 AM on September 6, 2015

It's a bland rehash of "space age love song" by A Flock Of Seagulls. Sure enough, he mentions them as an influence in an interview. (Link in the "previously", last comment)
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 11:09 AM on September 6, 2015

On viewing the part where the dragon gets blown up and hits the water with a giant SPLASH of water and bloody water is totally the best part.

The song isn't great, but I'm not here for the song.
posted by bibliogrrl at 11:27 AM on September 6, 2015 [2 favorites]

The music doesn't work for me, but as easy as it would be to slag all over this person's epic vision, I prefer to think it's awesome that we live in an age where someone can put something like this together with such professional results. And - I speak from experience - Light Speed has a narrative that is more compelling and more coherent than about 99% of the short SF&F dreck out there on youtube today. I especially liked the subtle homage to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid at the end.

Dirty old man than I am, I'm hoping there's an 'uncut' version out on Vimeo. Which is where I go now!
posted by doctor tough love at 3:58 PM on September 6, 2015

On viewing the part where the dragon gets blown up and hits the water with a giant SPLASH of water and bloody water is totally the best part.

I had to make a (terrible) gif of that part to share with friends after I forced them to watch the videos the other night.
posted by jason_steakums at 3:39 PM on September 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

jason_steakums, you are a TREASURE.
posted by bibliogrrl at 7:33 PM on September 10, 2015