All Speeches Great and Small

September 8, 2015 9:47 PM

Looking for some inspirational speeches? Speakola has you covered.

Sport! - Was it seventy points we were up by at half time? Granty, seventy points? Yeah. We’ve lost by three. Go and f*** yourselves fellas. I could rant and rave. I could rant and rave but I realised today that I am coaching a s*** football team.

Eulogy! - Graham Chapman, co-author of the ‘Parrot Sketch,’ is no more. He has ceased to be, bereft of life, he rests in peace, he has kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the Great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky, and I guess that we’re all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, such capability and kindness, of such intelligence should now be so suddenly spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he’d achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he’d had enough fun. Well, I feel that I should say, “Nonsense. Good riddance to him, the freeloading bastard! I hope he fries."

Education! - When I first received an inquiry about my availability to come and talk at this school, I was naturally reluctant. After all, this school has little to recommend it in the eyes of the wider community. Historically it has been simply a machine for the transmission of inherited privilege. It is a place where boys from middle-class backgrounds are sent to improve their material prospects and to reproduce the values of their class, or where the boys of insecure parents are sent to fulfil the distorted ambitions of their fathers.

The site only launched in the last few weeks, so no doubt there will be more speeches added over time. If you can think of some, contribute!
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