Archaeologists provide a spread of 4000-year-old Hittite foods

September 11, 2015 8:26 AM

"Considering the conditions at the time, we understood that the Hittites were highly successful in the kitchen as well as in other areas." In case you're tempted, though, keep in mind that their FDA agents were pretty brutal: "Underlining the hygienic measures taken in Hittite kitchens, Akkor said if a chef with a large, unmanaged beard or long, unmanaged hair cooks in the kitchen or an animal wandered into the kitchen, he or she used to receive a death penalty along with their family."
posted by Amberlyza (16 comments total)

...or an animal wandered into the kitchen, he or she used to receive a death penalty along with their family.

Hopefully there was a five-second rule, where the cook could quickly grab the animal, quickly convert it to an appetizer and avoid the mass murder penalty.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:29 AM on September 11, 2015 [4 favorites]

Ooooh.

I would like to know more about those pastries. I can envision the various Beruwa and Happena dishes, the meats and the breads from eating modern middle eastern foods, but are the pastries tart-like? danish-like? filled? sweet breads (of the flavor not brains variety)....
posted by julen at 8:46 AM on September 11, 2015

or an animal wandered into the kitchen, he or she used to receive a death penalty along with their family

i mean of course this seems really excessive but then i remember what it's like to eat at a friend's house who has 5 cats all of whom are allowed to walk on food prep surfaces straight from their uncleaned litter boxes and i'm like wow suddenly this is so reasonable.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:48 AM on September 11, 2015 [8 favorites]

The rule was valid for those who cooked without having a bath beforehand.

It seems they understood something about the germ theory of disease or that the usual washroom warning was to be taken seriously.

"Under penalty of death, employees must wash hands."
posted by three blind mice at 8:55 AM on September 11, 2015 [6 favorites]

Searching for recipies turned up the following:

Hittite Microwave - Authorized Hittite Distributor‎

They were a very advanced people.
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:11 AM on September 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

Always knew that the Earl of Sandwich was full of it.
posted by peacheater at 9:17 AM on September 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

Indo-European speakers! They're practically our cousins.

I don't know what a hüyük is but it always sounds to me like it has something to do with the Three Stooges. (Though I assume that would be a Turkish word, right?)
posted by XMLicious at 9:19 AM on September 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

A bas relief of the Hittite gods Lari, Mo'o, Kurli, and Šempu.
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:24 AM on September 11, 2015 [5 favorites]

l'm waiting for the FPP "I love the Hittite era, so I decided to live in it."
posted by happyroach at 9:26 AM on September 11, 2015 [16 favorites]

I can envision the various Beruwa and Happena dishes, the meats and the breads from eating modern middle eastern foods

Is there any reason to think it would be similar, though? That stuff changes fast - only a bit more than a century ago there was no phở in Vietnam, as I understand it, and a couple hundred years earlier Italian cuisine did not involve tomatoes, maize to make polenta, or symbolic pineapples. This is food from thousands of years ago in the Middle East.
posted by XMLicious at 9:28 AM on September 11, 2015 [4 favorites]

Obviously we need more hipster archaeologists. If ever an article cried out for more food pictures it was this.
posted by bswinburn at 10:18 AM on September 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

Is there any reason to think it would be similar, though? That stuff changes fast - only a bit more than a century ago there was no phở in Vietnam, as I understand it, and a couple hundred years earlier Italian cuisine did not involve tomatoes, maize to make polenta, or symbolic pineapples. This is food from thousands of years ago in the Middle East.

True. But there are also traditions and ways of approaching foods that don't. It's a real mixed bag, and you can never know for sure. But to know that they served mashed foods named after particular ingredients can give a rough idea of what that was maybe like whereas "pastry" is such a wide-ranging term for food that it encompasses a world of options.

I don't have to know the actual recipe of Beruwa to get a sense of what the texture or experience was. With mashed food they probably needed a container of some sort (a bowl, a bready wrap, leaves, a hand) , and probably a utensil of some sort. But with pastries, I don't know if that was an individual serving or a large piece cut up; if it was savory or sweet? Was it the meal or a dessert or a side?
posted by julen at 10:23 AM on September 11, 2015

Recipes or it didn't happen.
posted by Foam Pants at 11:14 AM on September 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

I hate that all the good stuff happened before reality television. This sounds like Hell's Kitchen meets Hipster Holocaust.
posted by ouke at 1:55 PM on September 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

where are the damn recipes
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:04 PM on September 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

Poetry and War among the Hittites (PDF)
posted by XMLicious at 10:18 AM on September 22, 2015