Just let Richard Gere and Julia Roberts hang out

September 12, 2015 7:14 AM

25 thoughts on seeing Pretty Woman 25 years late
posted by Rhomboid (33 comments total)

Hector Elizondo is God.

What? There are people who didn't know this already ?

But seriously, he does a very good job at playing God.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:42 AM on September 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

okay here's a story about this movie

so i went to high school in suburban kansas city, but on the kansas side of the state line. kansas is a big ass empty state but there are plenty of people living in the central/western side of it. so if there was a "state" level competition, and you were lucky, it was in Topeka, but if you were unlucky it was somewhere out in the fuck of nowhere (and by unlucky, i mean if you were in a competition of lesser importance than basketball or whatever. and yes, i realize this totally makes sense from a fairness perspective, it would be shitty if the johnson county schools didnt' have to spend their budgets on travel but the Moundridge kids did or whatever)

anyway so sophomore (?) year, we're going to the state choir festival which is somewhere...three or four hours away. can't remember where. witchita? great bend? maybe further. who knows. and my school rents a fancy bus for some reason that can play movies, and being high school students in the early 2000s we all want to watch Empire Records so that's what we start watching. keep in mind i went to a Catholic school.

up to the point in the movie where I think there's like two scenes - the montage-y scene of people makin' out in the listening booth and also the scene where renee zellweger's character sleeps with rex manning because she's mad at liv tyler - and these scenes are pretty close together, and it pissed off my choir director something fierce (i think she wasn't enjoying the movie AT ALL and had tried to talk us out of it earlier but we sort of shouted her down, because we had no respect for her because she kinda was petty and also we were shitty high school students, but i repeat myself)

so she pops out the tape or DVD or whatever because there's "too much sex" in Empire Records, and pops in her replacement which is Pretty Woman, a romantic comedy where two people have sex on piano

anyway, i like pretty woman okay and i think this article is pretty good. i think it would be hard to remake the movie; you could change richard gere from like a jerky corporate raider to being a jerky venture capitalist or something, i guess but i'm not sure the prostitution angle would seem workable (I think the movie would inevitably shoot itself in the foot. Maybe I'm wrong).
posted by dismas at 7:46 AM on September 12, 2015 [8 favorites]

yes I misspelled wichita, no I'm not sorry
posted by dismas at 7:52 AM on September 12, 2015 [10 favorites]

Weird, I too grew up in suburban Kansas City, "God watch over, S-M-East!", and also took a bus to Wichita for the state choir festival. 1981 though, so no busses with DVD players in them...
posted by Windopaene at 7:53 AM on September 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

Pretty Woman was the first R-rated movie I saw in a theater. It was on base at either Tinker Air Force Base or Fort Sill during a weekend Webelo trip. I don't know a) how our scoutmasters convinced the guy at the military cinema to let them take ~20ish 10-11 year-olds in to see that particular movie (although it was a single screen theater so it's not like they could've shuffled us to a different screening) or b) why the hell they thought it was a good idea in the first place, but man was my mom pissed off when she found out.

(and I'd like to request membership to Team #LSG4Life)
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:55 AM on September 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

someone should remake Pretty Woman today and gender-swap the leads. I see Rooney Mara as Richard Gere and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Julia Roberts.

Since there was a considerable difference in age and status (at the time) between Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, a gender-swap version should probably feature pairings like, hmmm, Sandra Bullock and Dylan O'Brien?
posted by fatehunter at 8:08 AM on September 12, 2015 [9 favorites]

I'm going to do the same with "Citizen Kane"
posted by clvrmnky at 8:17 AM on September 12, 2015

23. All romantic comedies should be rated R

absolutely. I've been arguing this for years. Even if they contain no sex, violence or nasty language. Because, as I heard it put once by a drunk film critic, the form itself is a different kind of pornography.
posted by philip-random at 8:59 AM on September 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

I noticed this when I watched it at age 29 but not age 12, and that is also disturbing.

I think that's pretty normal. I had no idea how messed up the Pern books were at age 12, but at age 29 I was like, "whoaaaa." Kids are generally quite bad at having a critical eye. (And by that I don't mean not liking stuff--kids are really good at not liking stuff, especially vegetables--but at noticing details and reading below the surface, even when it's stuff that will seem obvious to them when they're adults.)
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 9:10 AM on September 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

Hey! It's fun to be a prostitute!
I can't wait to spread my legs across Hollywood Blvd.
Because then maybe some rich, handsome billionaire
in a Jag will come driving up and take me shopping on
Rodeo Drive and that's what a woman's all about
anyway, right? Sucking and shopping and sucking and
shopping and sucking and shopping
but hey, who am I to argue
because it's the feel good movie of the
summer, it's the feel good movie of the year, it's the
feel good movie of the Nineties, it's the feel good
movie of the Millennium, and you know what? If it
puts a smile on your face and a song in your heart
and a spring in your step,
well... whatever makes you happy,
Even if it's a truly tasteless joke.
posted by Cookiebastard at 9:22 AM on September 12, 2015 [15 favorites]

I was a teen when this came out and we went to see it, but since I find Gere the Anti-Sexy, I mostly endured it. Even at that age, the prostitution thing bugged me, and also that Roberts' character's two choices were a. prostitution or b. marriage to Gere. I mean, yeah, money is great, but it's pretty bleak and cynical, in exactly the way that Cinderella is. Servitude or luck out and marry some guy you sorta know with lots of money! Not, you know, independence, or a better world where no-one is forced to be a prostitute or endure abusive treatment.

Basically, I never bought the romance and am bored by movies whose real lesson is Money is Great, You Should Totally Get Some However You Can.
posted by emjaybee at 9:28 AM on September 12, 2015 [18 favorites]

When I was a kid, my house was the place in the neighborhood with the least amount of adult supervision and the most permissive house regarding junk food, R movies and the like. So, I am responsible (or I guess my mom is really) for Pretty Women being the favorite movie of a bunch of 10 year olds the year it came out. I wan't to say we were too young to really grasp what prostitution was, but thanks to all of the other naughty movies we watched, we totally knew.

That Halloween, my best friend left her house dressed as Laura Ingalls Wilder. When she got to my house she stripped off the bonnet, dress and apron to reveal her improvised Pretty Woman costume. It was pretty accurate for something she threw together behind her parents back, but she didn't have any thigh high boots, so she just kept her 19th century style Laura boots on to complete the outfit. I don't remember what kind of reactions we got, I'm pretty sure I was too focused on the candy to notice.

The next year we watched A Clockwork Orange...somehow that was a little less appealing to us. Needed more shopping montages.
posted by Lapin at 9:32 AM on September 12, 2015 [10 favorites]

I'm old. Too old to have ever fooled myself that this was even remotely defensible as a light romantic romp. So, I've never seen it. I can't imagine doing so now.
posted by evilDoug at 10:09 AM on September 12, 2015 [8 favorites]

Another movie that does not age well: Risky Business.

I (sadly) enjoyed this as a teenager (when I was the target audience), and barely was able to get through it as an adult more recently; and only did so so I could give it a seriously critical watch.
posted by el io at 10:22 AM on September 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

This was the first R-rated movie my mother let me see, I had to call home from a sleepover to get permission. This seems odd to me as I didn't see another R-rated movie for four years after, but Pretty Woman is surprisingly innocent and perky for a movie about prostitution and the evils of late capitalism.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:57 AM on September 12, 2015

This is one of those movies I have incoherent rage about.

When it came out my aunt, a love-starved homely woman in a very bad relationship saw it 9 times. If you asked her today I have no doubt it would be high on her list of favorite movies. When I saw it, all I could think was that it was complete and utter Hollywood shit. I don't know that I could ever sit through it again even though I like both leading actors. I guess some people can enjoy the dream fantasy and other people can only think about what real prostitutes do for money and what a PITA the rich asshole would be in real life. I'm not sure which is the better baseline for movie watching.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 11:14 AM on September 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

Another movie that does not age well: Risky Business.

it does include arguably the worst scene in any movie ever, culturally speaking (no I won't link to it). Not only did it kill old time rock and roll, it guaranteed the future proliferation of Scientology.
posted by philip-random at 11:34 AM on September 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

someone should remake Pretty Woman today and gender-swap the leads. I see Rooney Mara as Richard Gere and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Julia Roberts.

This strikes me as a particularly good idea, and I think these particular actors would be a good fit. fatehunter's comment about the age difference is interesting. I don't know if a gender-swapped remake necessarily needs to include the age difference, but I guess you couldn't go wrong with Bullock in the john role. Perhaps Dominic Cooper as the prostitute? No? Yes?

(Cooper's gonna play Jesse from Preacher. Sort of top of mind right now.)
posted by Thistledown at 11:40 AM on September 12, 2015

had no idea how messed up the Pern books were at age 12, but at age 29 I was like, "whoaaaa."

Say what now?
posted by Mogur at 11:49 AM on September 12, 2015

I want more romantic comedies that don't suck. I know people hate Pretty Woman, and I understand their reasons. But ultimately I loved it: notice that it has lots of pretty good dialogue, meaningful acting that's not twisted to the goal of some larger "point," and is funny and about relationships. I like that. I love the comedies of remarriage from the forties and fifties, too, even though they were hella sexist.

I mean, I also like superhero movies. But I'd gladly trade half of the sci-fi/geek stuff next year for a couple of great, non-schlocky rom-coms. (None of this extruded cinema product Love Actually/Bridget Jones nonsense.) Doctor Who is good, and so is Call the Midwife.

That is all.
posted by anotherpanacea at 11:50 AM on September 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

Didn't see it then, won't see it now. Even though Roberts is just an amazing actress.

Come to think of it, this makes me less worried about my daughters: if I had the sense to avoid a movie about a happy hooker, I'm certain my far better educated children will be even smarter.
posted by mumimor at 12:10 PM on September 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

I thought it was interesting how the article mentioned Julia Roberts' red hair. I feel like her hair and her laugh make it clear that she's Not Like Everyone Else. Which makes it more interesting that she starts off in the movie wearing a blond wig with a bob haircut and bangs.

I'm not a fashion person but I remember a lot of the outfits from this movie - not as much the hooker outfit, though I think it's iconic but the red dress she wore to the opera, the polka dot dress and hat at the polo match, the blazer and blouse at the end.

I agree that the rape scene is totally disturbing. It felt like a clear example of rape being about power, not sex. I was also disturbed by the scene where she talks about how she cried the whole time when she first prostituted herself. It was a moment, in my opinion, that broke the spell - up until then, I could almost suspend disbelief that this was your average rom com. Part of my brain wants to jump in at that moment and say, We Should Do Something about that. Which makes it surprising and in a way, impressive that the movie decisively does not pick that scab. Edward is not a white knight, she's not a damsel in distress.

Interesting article, thanks for sharing.
posted by kat518 at 12:12 PM on September 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

20 years later Garry Marshall tried that "throw rape in the mix and don't worry about tone" thing with Georgia Rule and that didn't go quite as well for him.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:06 PM on September 12, 2015

I was a recent college graduate, well-versed in feminist iconography, when Pretty Woman came out, and I was so appalled at the sexism in the print ads alone that I could never bring myself to see it.

I'm getting curious though. I might watch it eventually. I saw Clueless and The Natural Blonde after swearing I would never see them, and I liked them both a lot.
posted by maggiemaggie at 1:14 PM on September 12, 2015

I don't know if a gender-swapped remake necessarily needs to include the age difference, but I guess you couldn't go wrong with Bullock in the john role.

For a theoretical gender-swap remake, an age difference probably wouldn't mater as much as a difference in the actors' professional accomplishments. Pretty Woman was so hyped partly because it launched Julia Roberts from obscurity while Richard Gere was already a star. The meta dynamics played very well with what happened on screen.

As a thought experiment, I wonder if a gender-swap remake could possibly launch a leading man today.

I saw Clueless and The Natural Blonde after swearing I would never see them, and I liked them both a lot

Clueless and Legally Blonde both age relatively well. They emphasize female friendships and feature protagonists who are privileged but (convincingly) willing and able to learn. They may have their share of problems, but they're much better than Pretty Woman from a progressive viewpoint.

I kind of love Pretty Woman, because every fandom ever has hooker AUs, and half of those loosely follow the PW template (side note: "It Must Have Been Love" is a great song that more fanvids should utilize). The movie itself can be hard to watch, though.
posted by fatehunter at 3:27 PM on September 12, 2015

Oops, I meant The Real Blonde, which turned out to be a pretty good, cynical movie about the objectification of women, despite giving no indication of that on the poster (and the poster didn't help either, since there was only one other person in the audience besides me and my friend).

As for Legally Blonde, I did see it and didn't quite care for it as much. It seemed a little too sincere.
posted by maggiemaggie at 4:57 PM on September 12, 2015

someone should remake Pretty Woman today and gender-swap the leads. I see Rooney Mara as Richard Gere and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Julia Roberts.

Since moving to Hong Kong, I've wanted to remake Pretty Woman with a French banker and a Wan Chai sex worker, because then the power dynamics in the film would be more obvious.

Have you read Nichi Hodgson's reaction to the anniversary of the film?

If you date someone who is mean and misogynistic (and, as a financially independent, sexually liberated feminist, I’ve attracted a dozen), they don’t suddenly hand over the keys to the Corvette because they think you’ve “earned” it through displays of self-sufficiency. And, if you’ve ever been a sex worker, you know that the good manners and compliments flow only as long as the money does – on clients’ part as much as yours. So if someone offers you a lifetime of financial stability in exchange for nothing else but your perpetual sexual availability, it’s pretty much the worst contract you could sign up for.
posted by frumiousb at 5:09 PM on September 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

Mogur:

"had no idea how messed up the Pern books were at age 12, but at age 29 I was like, "whoaaaa."

Say what now?"

They are pretty rapey.
posted by Mitheral at 11:31 PM on September 12, 2015

I think Pretty Woman works despite its dicey plot specifically BECAUSE it has Julia Roberts (and Hector Elizondo) in it. God knows Richard Gere is the least passionate, "angry"* boring dude by comparison, plus there's the plot.

While You Were Sleeping is another one of those movies that really only works because of the casting. The plot idea is TERRIBLE, but by god, somehow Sandra Bullock (and to some degree, Bill Pullman, Peter Gallagher, and the other actors playing the relatives) sell the shit out of it. Sandra in particular can be really good at selling bad plots--but not all of 'em, given her Razzie.

Anyway, I suspect this movie would not have worked had they cast someone else as Vivian, and a remake would probably just be terrible.

* "Hello, my name is Mr. Lewis and I am very ANGRY at my father!" O RLY? It's hard to tell!
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:57 PM on September 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

I remember reading that the film was an absolute hit in Bangladesh, (poor girl rescued from the slums) and Julia Roberts apparently looks quite Asian.
posted by Narrative_Historian at 1:39 AM on September 13, 2015

Good article. I like that it points out that the movie is all about the money, and that Laura San Giacomo and Jason Alexander play the more realistic versions of the main characters. Interestingly, these are both things they have in common with Jane Austen novels.
posted by harriet vane at 3:59 AM on September 13, 2015

1. Julia Roberts’ head was superimposed on the body of famous body double Shelley Michelle for the poster.

4. The opera they were seeing was called La Traviata, which is funny because it is about a prostitute who falls in love with a wealthy man.

And 17 other Things You Probably Didn’t Know About “Pretty Woman”
posted by gottabefunky at 2:33 PM on September 13, 2015

Pretty Woman is Cinderella. Prostitutes are the least respected women in our society because prostitution is legal. If she were homeless instead of a prostitute maybe it would be a nice update, more like SABRINA with Audrey Hepburn or MY FAIR LADY, though they are basically all recreations of the same myth.
posted by sunnyblues48 at 10:58 AM on September 14, 2015